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breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 12:53:29 PM   
piercedboy


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now .  How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?  i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!  
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:01:53 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

 How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?
 
didn't have to.  it isn't just a sexual thing for this slave and since they have known this slave all of their lives...they know what sort of nature/personality she has.
 
besides, since Mom went out of her way to instill/perpetuate this slave's submission beyond childhood, she doesn't need to be told that her militaristic efforts were successful...it's blatantly obvious.

(in reply to piercedboy)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:34:17 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		Never really understood the need/desire of some who want to share this aspect of their lives with family/friends.  Personally, I don't want to know about their private/intimate lives, and so... there is no need to share info about our private/intimate/intimate life. 



_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:36:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		my mom knew I had a dick when she diapered me, I assumed that she assumed I would use it in ways pleasurable to me, and we didn't go hashing that out, all those ins and outs, she wasn't stupid, and surmised some shit...but........nobody is gonna get the blowjob by blowjob account of it, unless they are firmly attached to my genitalia via their obicularis oris.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:44:28 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piercedboy

Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now .


Perhaps a question worth asking about all of this is: why do they need to know? Is keeping it hidden interfering with your lifestyle, or is it just that you want to be open about your lifestyle with your family?

quote:

ORIGINAL: piercedboy

 How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?  i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!  


I wish I could help, but my family is very atypical in a number of ways. Firstly, it consists of just me and my mother, and secondly, she is an unusually open minded woman. She was fine with me being gay; she was fine with me being sub. Both times I just spoke with her about it.

(in reply to piercedboy)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:45:04 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		I never had the need or want to tell my family about anything that they could not understand. I do not have the need or want for my daughter to tell me about her lifestyle, whatever it may be. i prefer to let people be, and they know that i am different.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 1:50:26 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

my mom knew I had a dick when she diapered me,


Was this recent, Ron?
 
I never knew.
 
 
 
Baby Huey.
 
 
 

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 2:08:37 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		this is something i have no need to share with my family. my husband knows of course. my mother would use it as ammo and i personally see no need to provide her with cannon fodder to use against me. i am pretty sure my daddy knows, the fist time he met my husband my daddy looked him up and down and said, and i quote, "Well it's about damn time she found someone who could turn her over their knee and spank her when she needs it" but then again if you are in the lifestyle, it doesn't take long in my company to figure out exactly what roll i play lol. and then of course my Master knows. but as for the rest of my family, they have no need to know what goes on behind closed doors. it's, quite frankly, none of their bloody business!!!!


His baby girl
member of th Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's
10 fluffy points

(in reply to EbonyWood)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 2:24:42 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piercedboy

Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now .  How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?  i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!  


We didn't exactly tell them. With his family, it just came out through hints and conversation and we had a discussion regarding it. With my family, my Mom opened a box I'd marked private while I was living at home during the summer while attending college. We don't discuss it beyond that I like to have a traditional relationship where the man is in charge.

I'm a bit curious... how do you think telling your family will take your submission farther?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to piercedboy)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 3:30:15 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I didn't. Why would I?
They simply see me as being in a traditional relationship just like how I grew up...man as head of household, obedient girlfriend.

Anything else is just kink and well....I don't have any reason to go shouting from the rooftops "I love kinky sex!".

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 4:51:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Do you really want your mother to tell you when was the last time she gave your father a blow job? Because she has just as little interest in the details of your sex life as long as you are valuing yourself and using protection.

If you are not in a relationship, this is all hypothetical. If you are, then allow them to see you happy in your relationship, being treated with love and respect.

If however, like most people who decide to throw this in their parents face, you are doing it because of unresolved issues, then be an adult and deal with those issues properly.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Psychonaut23)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 4:56:50 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Well, my mother found out when i accidentally sent a text message to her that i intended to go to my Owner at the time.  Thankfully it wasn't too racy.

i just told her that this is what i enjoy in a relationship, a traditional relationship with a man who i enjoy serving, because of who he is and what he does.  Vague enough.  i don't think i would have said anything if she hadn't received the text.  i can't think of a reason why she would really need to know.

i would never tell her what i do in the bedroom with anyone, whether that was in my vanilla marriage or now.  Honestly i don't tell anyone that stuff.  That's private between me and my Owner/Master - and it's not my place to share his business.




_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 8:29:45 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Is it really their biz?????

(in reply to piercedboy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 8:30:04 PM   
ceebee


Posts: 33
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		We have mutually agreed that telling our vanilla spouses is not in anybodys best interest.

Doesn't D/s stand for deception and sneakiness?

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 8:40:09 PM   
kneelingrebel17


Posts: 7
Joined: 10/1/2008
Status: offline 		I generally try to be open and honest with people who are in my life. Situations do arise where if I were "out" to most of the people there it would be far less akward. Like, last summer, we were all sitting around a living room, half watching a movie while others were bringing in bbq food from the porch, and they were one seat short so I sat on the floor by my Dom's feel because I liked it there it just seemed natural to us. Well, one of his friends started complaining about how it shouldn't be the girl who sits on the floor to eat etc etc, you see where this is going. If we had been open about it, no one would think it's weird if I sit on the floor by his feet or when he tells me to get him another beer rather than asks me kindly if I would do that for him. It's when you have act strangely around your partner to avoid making other people feel strange that draws the line. My mom knows my preferences and why for the most part. It's nice not having to hide part of my life from a very open family.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
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RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 8:42:57 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piercedboy

Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now .  How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?  i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!  


I could be mistaken, but I sincerely doubt you can come up with a logical reason to back up your perceived "need".

Perhaps instead, you should consider telling a therapist, and make an attempt at discovering why you want to discuss this with your family. 


Cali



_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to piercedboy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 9:30:51 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Do you really want your mother to tell you when was the last time she gave your father a blow job? Because she has just as little interest in the details of your sex life as long as you are valuing yourself and using protection.

If you are not in a relationship, this is all hypothetical. If you are, then allow them to see you happy in your relationship, being treated with love and respect.


You might be surprised to find that many parents would rather know their child had received alarming bruises from consensual play than hear "Oh, that's nothing. Don't worry, we're very happy together."

Personally, my coming out to my mother had nothing to do with sharing the details of "kinky sex", but was meant to help her understand that I wasn't in an abusive relationship, and that rather than being a pushover I liked my then-boyfriend giving orders and setting the rules for our relationship.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 9:45:17 PM   
piercedboy


Posts: 7
Joined: 7/9/2007
Status: offline 		Thank You all for your kind and thoughtful responces!  i  get from the majority of the answers, that telling would just open a can of wormes.  i'm not a fisherman so i don't need that!  Since they have not asked about my real life i will let the vanilla life just go on as it has.  If any of my vanilla family ask, i wont lie i'll just sit them down and explain that this is who i am and it makes me happy!  

(in reply to WestBaySlave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 9:59:52 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		As you being an adult.....what you do in your private life is no one's business but yours- not even parents. 

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to piercedboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: breaking the news to your vanilla family - 1/4/2010 10:37:23 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: piercedboy

Has any one gone through this? i have been struggling with this for sometime now .  How did you go about telling your family that you are a submissive /slave?  i have been whareing cuffs for awhile now but need this to go farther!  

Why do you need to tell them at all?  Is your sex life really any of their business?  As for me, I feel my mine is no more their business than their's is mine.  Believe me, it's just NOT.  Do you have any idea of the can of worms that you might open up?  Not everyone is so open-minded and accepting as we wish they'd be.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to piercedboy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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