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RE: manners - 1/5/2010 8:58:41 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline 		I really love the guys that don't want to send a picture. They'll contact me first, then insist that I send them a picture first. They get all pushed out of shape over sending a picture. How many times have I heard that "I have a high profile position". Or, sheesh, the one guy today got all pissed off and said I wasn't a sub at all for "demanding" a picture of him. Puhlease! I didn't ask anyone to do anything that I wasn't willing to do myself!

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 9:02:53 PM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		uh..points well taken I guess...to the 2 or 3 who were sincere..thanks..
no I dont post too much...I thought I was being casual in what I wrote
I treat all who I write to with respect..
perhaps some of you a correct..that authenticity online is rare..sorry I suggested to some to act mature(what was I thinking?)
Hope you all get what your looking for...
Louis

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 9:05:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		LOL

I had one the other day who blurs his face in his picture but got really pissy that I didn't "trust" him enough to give him a IM name to contact me on when we had exchange a grand total of three messages. Frankly, I just hate IM programs and when I told him that in response to his "IM or nothing", he stopped responding.

Gee, I really think I missed out there...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 9:07:30 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage
How many times have I heard that "I have a high profile position".

OK, but shhhhhh.....




Attachment (1)

(in reply to DarlingSavage)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 9:47:29 PM   
DarlingSavage


Posts: 2808
Joined: 9/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

OK, but shhhhhh.....


Hahahahaha!

@AquaticSub

I actually had one guy tell me to get off the site and he told me that I should commit suicide today over a fucking picture request. He sent me the damn picture, but then continued to bitch me out and call me rude and so on and so forth just for asking for a stupid fucking picture. Gave me that whole song and dance about his job and blah blah blah!

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 10:33:55 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		louissir, I perved your profile and you use the deadly term "discrete." Did you know that it is frequently synonomous with "married and wanting to fool around?" If you are in another committed relationship, do the women by chance stop talking to you after you fill them in on that fact?

In all honestly, people sometimes just lose interest in you (general you, as in all of us). You admit that you only exchanged a few messages so you really hadn't invested all that much, right?

I will say this though. There are several people here with who I have become friendly with, as in a platonic, pen pal kind of way. As with many of us, life gets hectic and sometimes I plain old forget to respond to an email. Happened just a week ago. I was going through my inbox to send out some Holiday Cheer and realized that I hadn't responded to a friend's last email, although I honestly thought I had.

Are you messages getting deleted unread? Are they read and just not answered? Are they sitting there unread? Deleted/unread, they lost interest. Read/not answered, maybe they just haven't had time. Totally unread, maybe they haven't been on. No offense but perhaps they just weren't as interested as you thought and they weren't rushing to check their mail. If there is someone you really thought you might be hitting it off with, drop them a note telling them that while you realize we all have busy lives, you are really looking forward to speaking again, or something to that effect.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Did you ever notice how few people consider messaging or emailing someone, unasked, is the counterpart to those people who don't answer?



Uh you do realize that while many are here to post on these forums and such, it is primarily a dating site? Where the general idea is that you write a profile and hope that someone reads the profile and sends you an email of interest?

Darling Savage, Welcome to the boards! Have fun.

(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: manners - 1/5/2010 11:53:41 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline
quote:

sorry I suggested to some to act mature(what was I thinking?)


I agree with your statement.  I said that we all need to act like adults when facing rejection from someone we have never met.  We both agree that all adults should act like adults.  The problem is that YOUR ideas of what constitutes adult actions is not EVERYONE'S ideas about what constitutes adult actions. 



(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 1:01:15 AM   
PrimalConsonance


Posts: 463
Joined: 7/11/2009
From: Southern New Jersey
Status: offline 		(CNJDom says:) OP:  You're going to have people that will make a quick and nearly automatic reaction to any advances without giving you the benefit of giving you a fair shot at getting to know you.  This is due to red flags in mannerisms, or some other prejudice that was developed from past experiences.  Unfortunately, this immediate and abrupt form of rejection isn't fair, but this is how it is in this environment.  A thicker skin is always a good thing to have here, as well as any place where there is the potential to interact in more intimate, and sometimes singularly obvious intent.  People will bring all sorts of things to the table in the way of manners, attitudes where they have higher or lower regards about not only themselves but of others in a snap.  Just can't let it get to you, for if you do; then you won't survive and will be as jaded as some others are; and then another cycle of the same manners will be complete.  Good luck, and welcome to the boards!




_____________________________

AKA: CNJDom (types in black) and roselaure (types in Red)


Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 1:43:13 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		There is no mandatory etiquette that demands that someone must respond to your private message on the grounds that you feel the overwhelming effort used to initiate the conversation merits attention by virtue of the message simply being brought into existence.

Getting miffed at someone who doesn't say "Thanks." when you hold a door open for them in a public venue isn't quite the same thing as getting miffed because that hot chick at the bar didn't reply when you went out of your way to say "Hi."


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to PrimalConsonance)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 7:19:48 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: louissir


What is it about a lack of general manners? One would think that bdsm being an adult game, one would get a basic level of manners. Whenever I send a hello to a "sub" quite a few times there is a few messages back and forth. Then half the time there is a break of all communication with no.."thanks but no thanks". I know that women in here will get more messages than they can handle, however a 10 second reply will go very far. This is not a whine as I wouldnt be with a woman who cant communicate anyway. My message to all of you in here is..be an adult..polite, respectful, and if there is an exchange of information..and then you are not interested?Just say so..end of story.
Happy New Year
Louis


If it were only that simple. People do not handle rejection well and have a bad habit of sending nasty grams. So many find it simplier to fade off into the sunset, hoping to avoid conforntion. I understand the frustration, but I also understand their fears and try not to take it personally.


_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 7:28:14 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I have experienced allot of the the other way around. Some Dom contacts me and I say hi and explain that I am with someone, but would like to make friends. He asks if I want to chat and I say I prefer mail as I do not have the time to sit with the computer and chat for hours while sending a mail take five minutes when I have the time. More often than not I just then hear nothing back.

Also often mails is directly rude. Like when one get a mail from someone you do not know which start with I am looking for cunts like you to fuck bitch.

Off course one should send a hello back when one get a polite message. But sometimes I just forget, or there are so many mails, or I just get so tired from all the impolite mails I just tune out collarme mail completely. It is a bad habbit yes, but it is what it is.

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:05:42 AM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: louissir


What is it about a lack of general manners?

Welcome to earth.narrow view

One would think that bdsm being an adult game, one would get a basic level of manners.

Why? Are BDSM'er from another planet call Earth But With Manners? And it is not game for everyone, for some it is their lifestyle.

Whenever I send a hello to a "sub" quite a few times there is a few messages back and forth. Then half the time there is a break of all communication with no.."thanks but no thanks".

And that is an issue how? Seems to me they decided they were not longer interested. Men and women alike have had some give and take and then one or more parties goes poof, part of the online landscape.
 
I know that women in here will get more messages than they can handle, however a 10 second reply will go very far.

Yes we get a ton of messages, but I, for one, answer all if the email is cool. I will even answer uncool emails, but be very bitchy back. Some women prefer not to reply at all. Go so far towards what, assuaging your ego?

This is not a whine as I wouldnt be with a woman who cant communicate anyway.

Yes, it is a whine, be honest.

My message to all of you in here is..be an adult..polite, respectful, and if there is an exchange of information..and then you are not interested?Just say so..end of story.

No one here has to get a lecture from you. As you said, we are all adults. End of story.being over 18 in a way makes one an adult I guess..lecture?..I should have asked what I said in question form..I am amazed that so many have thrt time to respong

Happy New Year

Ditto.

Louis


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:07:14 AM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		you didnt read my post I guess

(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:12:23 AM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		(laughing)..the best one yet here..Yes I used to wonder about that.
Thanks Drifa...the reality is..I am a nice respectful guy.....befuddled at human behavior I guess.. at wondering about what seems like a sincere discourse..then nothing..I guess I dont hang with folks in my life(or myself) who do that. Online as well too,,there are other bdsm sites where it is less cavalier as CM..oh well

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:12:27 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		That was rude of her.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:14:08 AM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		very good point sweet

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:14:57 AM   
bondmaid123


Posts: 143
Joined: 6/6/2009
Status: offline 		I can't count the number of times I've responded politely with "Hi.  Thanks for the nice note.  I'm not looking for a new dominant right now, just so you know, but I don't mind talking with folks" and have that almost immediately replied to with some variation on "Oh, you'll want me once you get to know me".

It's called a hard sell, and it's annoying as piss (no offense intended to those who are into golden showers).

(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:16:57 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I believe the problem is when you  type "Hi". when you cap the H, it gives the impression that you are not as submissive as you should be.

work on that!


Jeffwey

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 1/6/2010 9:17:15 AM >

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to bondmaid123)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:18:18 AM   
louissir


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/4/2004
Status: offline 		Not sure if I should keep responding...discreet for me means that my friends and neighbors arent aware
Like I said this is after 2 or 3 messages..y'all know...I guess never mind..the majority in here seem to be reacting to just a sentence of my message..or have the chip...wish you all the best..or my favorite mantra
I'm sorry
forgive me
thank you
I love you

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: manners - 1/6/2010 9:27:31 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: louissir

Not sure if I should keep responding...



Now that you have a few posts under your belt, you're not sure about responding? Aren't people not responding after a few messages the orginal beef which prompted the OP in the first place? Maybe, now that you are in the same situation, that will answer your questions and concerns better than anything anyone could have said here would have done.

Good luck to you and hopefully, you'll figure out what all those women have in common that the same thing keeps happening over and over again to you.



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to louissir)
Profile   Post #: 60
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