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RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:30:54 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

-FR-

I've posted on here, off and on. When I first started I was pretty clueless, and a bit reticent in what I wrote. When I got more comfortable, I sometimes put my foot in it. I got bashed in the threads, and had a couple of c-mails too. I listened, learned and hopefully became a (relatively) useful member of this little virtual community of ours.

If I was a sensitive ickle bunny, then I might have taken the slap-downs as harrassment rather than education. Thankfully I own a pair of big-girl panties so I just pulled 'em up, gritted my teeth and soldiered on. It's the way of the world, and those of us with a healthy ego and sense of self will survive, thrive and...potentially...grow a little.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 121

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:33:58 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Are you threatening me?

Cornholio

Dumbass

Beavis

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 122

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:40:53 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

-FR-

I've posted on here, off and on. When I first started I was pretty clueless, and a bit reticent in what I wrote. When I got more comfortable, I sometimes put my foot in it. I got bashed in the threads, and had a couple of c-mails too. I listened, learned and hopefully became a (relatively) useful member of this little virtual community of ours.

If I was a sensitive ickle bunny, then I might have taken the slap-downs as harrassment rather than education. Thankfully I own a pair of big-girl panties so I just pulled 'em up, gritted my teeth and soldiered on. It's the way of the world, and those of us with a healthy ego and sense of self will survive, thrive and...potentially...grow a little.

this has been going on for some time with a a few following me from thread to thread that i start

i'm not especially thin skinned but there comes a point when it's no longer welcome

i have been called everything from too old by a woman in her 50's to dangerous, you just have to look in this thread to see that

after awhile you'd think adults would tire of such juvenile behavior

just my 2 cents

< Message edited by osf -- 1/7/2010 8:41:33 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 123

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:43:45 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

The community seems to be able to self police on its own....ive seen men who talk like he does end up being frozen out of whatever club, simply because everyone found him to be not a viable candidate for friendship or relationship. im fairly certain that this is what may have happened to him in his local community and now hes bitter and typing away at home....c'est la vie.

I was thinking this very same thing. I wonder how many s types ever look at this particular trait, the evidence of not being active in the local community, and see it as a potential reason to have additional thoughts regarding safety.

idk, LP...i was kind of "born" in a dungeon, so i tend to see public play as a hobby and use the community as a vehicle to making friends. i feel like i have to look you in the eye in order to get a read on whether or not i trust you enough to let you hit me (you, in the generic....You can hit me tomorrow and ill supply the toys

)

However, back home, i had one partner who simply refused to circulate within the public community and continues to play privately to this day...he has his reasons and to him, they make sense. Hes got more subs than time and is a reliable session...great guy all around. i highly recommend him to this day with the caveat that if im ever in town, whoever it is thats with him at the moment needs to step off so i can hop on....hes a peach.

But hes really the only one ive met who is sincerely just not interested in the "community"....and not just harping cuz he wasnt successful in the community.

He never complained about my involvement in munches or my groups, simply declined to accompany me.

It did, however, take me a long time comparitively to decide that i could trust him, as he wasnt known by my other friends or acquaintances. He did have stellar references which he provided immediatly and those girls were very happy to recommend him, and in person, as i am today. If i couldnt vet him, i wouldnt have played with him.

He just happened to use the internet as his vehicle to create relationships, as opposed to the community.

In answer to your point, i dont think everyone necessarily "needs" to participate in order to be vetted....but the underlying reason they dont participate needs to be looked at.....

For new people....especially women, i strongly recommend becoming involved with people who are active in the community....i know what my gut instincts tell me for myself, but i have seen far too many women hurt by not being able to read their own or ignoring it.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 124

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:44:06 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

And they probably think you would do the same.

Don't worry osf. This will run it's course. As much fun as it is to have a knucklehead posting goofy shit, your posts have become tiresome.

Soon you will be largley ignored except by the folks who like and admire you.

You will be happy.

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 125

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:49:37 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I only hang in casual banter- so I dont know what goes on in the other areas.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 126

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:50:47 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

perse sweetheart, i've been a member of several clubs to even being on the board of the black rose in dc never had a problem

for the most part clubs bore me and i haven't attended in a couple years mostly due to business obligations

i've met sub women like you before , but dam the constant harangue is a bit much even for my laid back nature, if you don't like my sense of humor ignore it, really i wont mind

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 127

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:52:19 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Do you hang left or right?

Does that question make you feel harassed?... sorry

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 128

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:55:05 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Do you hang left or right?

Does that question make you feel harassed?... sorry

LOL.

both left and right!!! hehe

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 129

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:55:32 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Do you hang left or right?

Does that question make you feel harassed?... sorry

humor is one thing, but the nasty personal posts that were directed at me another

if your going to direct a humorous comment at me , the only thing i ask is make it worth reading

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 130

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:56:28 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

hmmm...what I'm NOT seeing is someone 100% innocent of fire-stoking in all of this. I've taken the time to look back on some of the stuff you've written, and what I CAN see is that you find it difficult at times to accept someone else's viewpoint if it differs from yours. Instead of 'agreeing to disagree', you'll push and push until it turns into a flame-war. It's what happens round here - happened to me too, right in the beginning. I have also seen a few times you've played nicely with the other kids, and I thought to myself that you were really beginning to make the effort to settle in.

The joy of this community is that those same people you percieve as stalking and harrassing you could well end up being good 'cyber-buddies', for want of a better phrase. They aren't stalking you from thread to thread - they always have posted in these groups, and they will continue to do so. You'll see by their post counts that they've been doing this an awful long time (and yet they still look so young and fresh...

) and they'll (hopefully) continue to do so for a long time to come.

Just relax, enjoy yourself in a positive way, and you'll find folk round here will be most willing to 'forgive and forget'...but that goes both ways. It worked for me, it could work for you too.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 131

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:57:35 AM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

That was directed at PA.

Not everything is about you. Perhaps this will help

nar⋅cis⋅sism
1.
inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

2.
Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

Jeff

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 1/7/2010 8:58:28 AM >

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 132

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 8:59:51 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

that was one reason for this thread, is to try and reason with those harassing me, believe me i'm trying to keep my cool

i knew some would follow me here
, haven't you noticed it's me on one side and most on the other, interesting no?

< Message edited by osf -- 1/7/2010 9:01:10 AM >

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 133

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:00:27 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Wow Jefff,

somehow you comment to me was construed to be directed at OSF.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 134

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:01:23 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

that was one reason for this thread, is to try and reason with those harassing me, believe me i'm trying to keep my cool

OSF- you should take Jeff out to the CM playground and kick his ass around some..teach him a lesson !!

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 135

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:04:04 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

That was directed at PA.

Not everything is about you. Perhaps this will help

nar⋅cis⋅sism
1.
inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

2.
Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development.

Jeff

I think we are on medication. Lots of it. If you know what I am saying.

beyond that- what ever happened to Mod 11?

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 136

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:11:55 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

hmmm...what I'm NOT seeing is someone 100% innocent of fire-stoking in all of this. I've taken the time to look back on some of the stuff you've written, and what I CAN see is that you find it difficult at times to accept someone else's viewpoint if it differs from yours. Instead of 'agreeing to disagree', you'll push and push until it turns into a flame-war. It's what happens round here - happened to me too, right in the beginning. I have also seen a few times you've played nicely with the other kids, and I thought to myself that you were really beginning to make the effort to settle in.

The joy of this community is that those same people you percieve as stalking and harrassing you could well end up being good 'cyber-buddies', for want of a better phrase. They aren't stalking you from thread to thread - they always have posted in these groups, and they will continue to do so. You'll see by their post counts that they've been doing this an awful long time (and yet they still look so young and fresh...) and they'll (hopefully) continue to do so for a long time to come.

Just relax, enjoy yourself in a positive way, and you'll find folk round here will be most willing to 'forgive and forget'...but that goes both ways. It worked for me, it could work for you too.

Being that we are a bad fit, and will never live up to expectations- it is like a horse with a broken leg that needs to be shot.

Someone this unhappy with the CM- could easily migrate to happier more appealing forums.

Dont let us hold you back. (directed at the impossible to please OSF)

Go.

GOOOO

By all means GO.

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 137

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:13:48 AM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

Since I don't own a gun do we have anyone who wants to shoot OSF? lol ( joke ..maybe)

good idea PA !

< Message edited by divi -- 1/7/2010 9:14:52 AM >

_____________________________

( imho )

I really could use a wish right now

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 138

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:15:07 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

To be honest - I'm not seeing what you're seeing. I'm seeing a lot of frustration on all sides, and a great deal of tension-relieving humour...but that's it.

As an impartial outsider, all I can say is that your best bet would be to quit starting threads for a while, join in other threads if you have something valuable and valid to contribute, and take the time to cool down and find your feet.

And on that note the bunny takes her leave and returns to her day job....

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 139

RE: harrassment on the threads - 1/7/2010 9:17:57 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Being that we are a bad fit, and will never live up to expectations- it is like a horse with a broken leg that needs to be shot.

Someone this unhappy with the CM- could easily migrate to happier more appealing forums.

Dont let us hold you back. (directed at the impossible to please OSF)

\\

i'm very easy to please

i dont want your attention ( very unnarcissistic, please no attention)

and i don't want any advice

just those two simple requests

and i'm happy as shit

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 140

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