lally2
Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady
quote:
ORIGINAL: lally2
but... and this might be a bit contentious. i for one do not wish to see BDSM thrown in with all and sundry. paedophiles, snuff, animals, fantasists involving non-concensual adults and there are possibly others i dont know about, they are the obvious ones though and some level of censorship by us as people who live this lifestyle according to the safe, sane, concensual dictum are, i think, beholden to repel all borders in those areas.
I took the OP's question differently. There is nothing wrong with a desire to re-live a past trauma and attempt to take back the "power" that it has taken from you. I say "attempt" because it is important to realize that while that may be the intent, it is not necessarily going to be the outcome. I believe that those who don't feel going in that direction would be beneficial to them might be better off avoiding the thread.
However, when someone mentions how such an activity could be harmful or might be harmful to them, far too many people jump on the idea that it is a healthy thing to do and the one who might be against it would benefit. Those types of comments are the danger. They are made by people who really probably shouldn't even engage in the re-enactment because they clearly do not understand the "whole" of possibilities. When someone wants to relive a past trauma, the parties assisting need to be a lot more aware of those possibilities to avoid things going wrong.
Then there are other times when someone is posting a question about whether or not it is a good idea. Usually because some "dom" has told them it would be helpful, but they aren't so sure. Do I see this as dangerous? Yes. Far too often that "dom" has not background, education or knowledge about the additional safety issues that should be implemented for the person who suffered the trauma. Then we have a bunch of idiots coming on saying how "master knows best" "he is looking out for your best interests" and then the assorted group that make insensitive comments they feel are witty. Well, more often than not in those situations "master" doesn't know shit and is couching his agenda beneath the guise of "her best interests."
I put lally's quote above because far too often we hear from people who talk about being open minded and "uptight" about activities. Well obviously there are some activities that are considered wrong across the board. Yes, it is mentioned how it is against the TOS and the moderators job to remove those posts, but why do you think that is? Because the general consensus is that those activities are not acceptable. Most here are very open minded about activities. But a line needs to be drawn in the sand somewhere. It doesn't make any one of us "close minded" or "uptight." Only in the world of BDSM do some people seem to think that "morality" is a bad thing.
When people pose questions on sensitive subjects, asking for advice, the majority are going to be sensitive and try to help. In the rape re-enactment example, there would be a good many, who like me would make sure the person wanting this was aware of all the risks and complications as well as trying to make sure it was THEIR decision, not someone pushing them towards it. Those women who have not reached a point where they can put their trauma behind them should avoid the post. But then so should those who make idiotic comments on a sensitive subject.
irresponsibility is an area thats difficult not to respond to. sometimes things just shriek 'HELL NO' at me, like the water boarding thread some time back. the people involved seemed to think it might be 'fun' and came here asking for advice on it without apparently looking into the dangers themselves. those are the moments, i agree, when a sane, safe voice or two needs to step in and say 'time out'.
but those are the moments when safe sane and concensual are, in a way, our territory to explore and discuss. it would be irresponsible of us not to shed light on the dangers and possible emotional and phsychological fall out that could easily ensue.
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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!
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RE: Crossing the thin gray line - 
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thats true - i keep forgetting about them. 
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