RE: Crossing the thin gray line

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AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 12:52:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i didnt read the thread, but hun, these are boards and most of us live miles and miles and miles away from each other, what actual harm is it doing anyone. if it pisses people off, they need to move on - why do those threads go on and on and phucking on, digging in deeper and deeper. there has to be some sort of massochistic or sadistic element to them - i personally dont get it. Miles and miles can be crossed and Google is full of horror stories of people who were found when they didn't think they would be. As you said, you didn't read the thread. I don't believe it was a flame war at all and I can't say I regard threats with same lightness you do. I'm glad I don't and I'm honestly a bit disturbed by those who think it's ok for people to make threats, even online.

lally2 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 12:58:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i didnt read the thread, but hun, these are boards and most of us live miles and miles and miles away from each other, what actual harm is it doing anyone. if it pisses people off, they need to move on - why do those threads go on and on and phucking on, digging in deeper and deeper. there has to be some sort of massochistic or sadistic element to them - i personally dont get it. Miles and miles can be crossed and Google is full of horror stories of people who were found when they didn't think they would be. As you said, you didn't read the thread. I don't believe it was a flame war at all and I can't say I regard threats with same lightness you do. I'm glad I don't and I'm honestly a bit disturbed by those who think it's ok for people to make threats, even online. i think its another one of those empasses again - lets just agree that i didnt read the thread so i have no idea what the threats were or to whom and i dont share youre anxiety about osf.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 1:03:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i think its another one of those empasses again - lets just agree that i didnt read the thread so i have no idea what the threats were or to whom and i dont share youre anxiety about osf. I have no anxiety about osf. I simply can not fathom why it's ok for him make threats and yet those who disagree with him are scolded. Would it be all right if they made threats?

LadyPact -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 1:22:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i think its another one of those empasses again - lets just agree that i didnt read the thread so i have no idea what the threats were or to whom and i dont share youre anxiety about osf. I have no anxiety about osf. I simply can not fathom why it's ok for him make threats and yet those who disagree with him are scolded. Would it be all right if they made threats? Just on this portion of the discussion. Since we are talking about crossing lines and all. In My opinion, if someone has to go to the level of threatening another poster, that is crossing the line of what should be acceptable. It really doesn't have anything to do with the ability to carry out the threat. It has more to do with the fact that there should be a standard of behavior, even when people disagree. If we were all gathered in the same physical space, rather than a forum, an individual who behaved in that manner would be removed. I'm pretty sure that a number of us have witnessed folks that were escorted out of a club or an event for being threatening to the other attendees. I tend to see it in the same way.

lally2 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 1:40:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i think its another one of those empasses again - lets just agree that i didnt read the thread so i have no idea what the threats were or to whom and i dont share youre anxiety about osf. I have no anxiety about osf. I simply can not fathom why it's ok for him make threats and yet those who disagree with him are scolded. Would it be all right if they made threats? Just on this portion of the discussion. Since we are talking about crossing lines and all. In My opinion, if someone has to go to the level of threatening another poster, that is crossing the line of what should be acceptable. It really doesn't have anything to do with the ability to carry out the threat. It has more to do with the fact that there should be a standard of behavior, even when people disagree. If we were all gathered in the same physical space, rather than a forum, an individual who behaved in that manner would be removed. I'm pretty sure that a number of us have witnessed folks that were escorted out of a club or an event for being threatening to the other attendees. I tend to see it in the same way. i agree actually and from what i can make out, he was escorted from the room by the mods. all that im saying here is why keep feeding the flame. in a way osf is a perfect example of someone who comes here and posts, sometimes not to everyones tastes but who is, by and large fairly harmless in what he asks. the two times that i have seen him flame back was when he was being roundly and actually quite rudely and personally attacked. i didnt read the thread and i certainly dont believe that people should start threatening anyone anywhere, i do not in any way condone that sort of stuff and i choose to avoid those threads when they take off because theyre tedious in the extreme and completely pointless.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 1:48:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i agree actually and from what i can make out, he was escorted from the room by the mods. Evidently not as he's still around. I'm not saying he should be banned but he hasn't left the room. Hopefully he's learned not to threaten. Time will tell though I can say that if someone threatened me, in real life or on the boards, I wouldn't want to see them anymore. Though if you agree... why encourage me to dismiss threats? [8\|] quote: all that im saying here is why keep feeding the flame. There is a large difference in feeding in the flame and saying "No, I'm pretty sure he is provoking it". The trouble with avoiding all threads in which people get into is that sometimes it causes you miss part of the picture.

LadyPact -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:00:47 PM)
Actually, I did read it before it was pulled. I won't restate the content. I wouldn't have seen it at all if there hadn't been an interesting comment in the duration of the thread that caught My eye on the scroll which led Me to read the entire thread.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:04:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Actually, I did read it before it was pulled. I won't restate the content. I wouldn't have seen it at all if there hadn't been an interesting comment in the duration of the thread that caught My eye on the scroll which led Me to read the entire thread. Was refering to lally with the "avoiding" thing, not you LP. [:)] I'm honestly not suggesting that people read threads they don't want to. Simply that things are said in these threads that can (but not always) reveal a greater picture of a supposed "victim" of the forums.

lally2 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:07:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i agree actually and from what i can make out, he was escorted from the room by the mods. Evidently not as he's still around. I'm not saying he should be banned but he hasn't left the room. Hopefully he's learned not to threaten. Time will tell though I can say that if someone threatened me, in real life or on the boards, I wouldn't want to see them anymore. Though if you agree... why encourage me to dismiss threats? [8\|] quote: all that im saying here is why keep feeding the flame. There is a large difference in feeding in the flame and saying "No, I'm pretty sure he is provoking it". The trouble with avoiding all threads in which people get into is that sometimes it causes you miss part of the picture. i wasnt encouraging you to do anything actually. all i was saying is that threats on here are like farts in the wind, who are they going to harm in real tems since none of us use names that can be googled and if it rattles someone that much they should either a) leave the room or b) carry on bandying buns about until the mods turn up. whichever floats the moment. i never once said it was ok to threaten anyone, if i gave that impression it was probably in response to youre veiled suggestion that i did think it was ok, i hate it when people put words in my mouth (so to speak) that is something i get really pissed off with - my response to that was that i hadnt read the thread so i couldnt possibly comment on them. anyway, whatever the fuck, this is getting purile, see you around. no doubt though you will prove my point.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:10:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i wasnt encouraging you to do anything actually. all i was saying is that threats on here are like farts in the wind, who are they going to harm in real tems since none of us use names that can be googled and if it rattles someone that much they should either a) leave the room or b) carry on bandying buns about until the mods turn up. whichever floats the moment. i never once said it was ok to threaten anyone, if i gave that impression it was probably in response to youre veiled suggestion that i did think it was ok, i hate it when people put words in my mouth (so to speak) that is something i get really pissed off with - my response to that was that i hadnt read the thread so i couldnt possibly comment on them. anyway, whatever the fuck, this is getting purile, see you around. no doubt though you will prove my point. To say that threats made online are just farts in the wind to be ignored is the same as saying they are ok and/or harmless. If you feeling I'm attacking you, I apologize as it was never my intent. However, I am strongly questioning and challenging your position that it's harmless for a poster to make threats. And again, it didn't rattle me. I simply don't feel it's all right and in particular, I question why someone would be upset by how a poster is being treated but not care that same poster has made a threat. Edited to add: By the way... you are mistaken. Some of us (not me) do use names that could be googled. People can be found. It has happened and it will happen again. Particularly for those of us who are active in the local scene and have said as much on the forums.

LadyPact -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:16:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Actually, I did read it before it was pulled. I won't restate the content. I wouldn't have seen it at all if there hadn't been an interesting comment in the duration of the thread that caught My eye on the scroll which led Me to read the entire thread. Was refering to lally with the "avoiding" thing, not you LP. [:)] I'm honestly not suggesting that people read threads they don't want to. Simply that things are said in these threads that can (but not always) reveal a greater picture of a supposed "victim" of the forums. I probably should have quoted directly to avoid the misunderstanding there. I'm not promoting anyone read threads that hold no interest to them, either. I will agree that everyone has posted something at one time or another is out of character for them. That is different than a particular pattern. While not the same as knowing someone in person, there are certain character traits that can be discerned from posting history. I don't think there are any of us out there who have written something at one time or another that just didn't come out the way it was intended. That's different than a person just intending to be offensive or threatening to begin with. Personally (going back to the original) I would love to get back to some of the meat and bones topics of BDSM. I'd enjoy it to no end if the positive experiences forum was used more often where people would have a good time recounting their play experiences with other people from this site. I think it would be great if more folks would talk about the edgier aspects of BDSM, where those of us who like some of the darker things could discuss them. Not to force them on anyone, but not forced to be shut out, either.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:23:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I probably should have quoted directly to avoid the misunderstanding there. Ahh, my apologies! [:)] quote: I'm not promoting anyone read threads that hold no interest to them, either. I will agree that everyone has posted something at one time or another is out of character for them. That is different than a particular pattern. While not the same as knowing someone in person, there are certain character traits that can be discerned from posting history. Agreed. (Why does my color change sometimes when I quote and not others? I blame witches... ) quote: I don't think there are any of us out there who have written something at one time or another that just didn't come out the way it was intended. That's different than a person just intending to be offensive or threatening to begin with. Doubly agreed. quote: Personally (going back to the original) I would love to get back to some of the meat and bones topics of BDSM. I'd enjoy it to no end if the positive experiences forum was used more often where people would have a good time recounting their play experiences with other people from this site. I think it would be great if more folks would talk about the edgier aspects of BDSM, where those of us who like some of the darker things could discuss them. Not to force them on anyone, but not forced to be shut out, either. Triply agreed. The last time I played with someone from this site was a long time ago, though Phin did make a post in the positive experiences thread about it. [:)] At the risk of annoying the mods, I wonder if a different forum section for edgier play would be helpful in stimulating the discussion of those topics? It's something that's popped into my head actually because of the brief side convo that jazz and I had regarding where she does and does not engage in heavy play.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:25:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: breatheasone quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i want youre bunny raddit and i want him now!! [:)] OMG! me TOO! my sister had a bunny named Dewy, he was SO cute. She had him potty trained and everything. When I was a kid my neighbors had a cute bunny named Nosey. Then they had a stew.

lally2 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:27:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 i wasnt encouraging you to do anything actually. all i was saying is that threats on here are like farts in the wind, who are they going to harm in real tems since none of us use names that can be googled and if it rattles someone that much they should either a) leave the room or b) carry on bandying buns about until the mods turn up. whichever floats the moment. i never once said it was ok to threaten anyone, if i gave that impression it was probably in response to youre veiled suggestion that i did think it was ok, i hate it when people put words in my mouth (so to speak) that is something i get really pissed off with - my response to that was that i hadnt read the thread so i couldnt possibly comment on them. anyway, whatever the fuck, this is getting purile, see you around. no doubt though you will prove my point. To say that threats made online are just farts in the wind to be ignored is the same as saying they are ok and/or harmless. If you feeling I'm attacking you, I apologize as it was never my intent. However, I am strongly questioning and challenging your position that it's harmless for a poster to make threats. And again, it didn't rattle me. I simply don't feel it's all right and in particular, I question why someone would be upset by how a poster is being treated but not care that same poster has made a threat. i have already explained and qualified my position on everything that you have said and explained it ad nauseum. but just one more time - i do not condone threats. they are farts in the wind when the protagonists and antagonists continue to add fuel to the fire - and then when they get burned they all squeal 'foul' - and run away with their panties in a twist. he shouldnt have resorted to threats, totally uncool. the mods dealt with it, i presume he got a warning. life on CM resumes until the next bun fest. just have to wait and see if anyone learnt anything from the last one.

AquaticSub -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:38:01 PM)
quote: they are farts in the wind when the protagonists and antagonists continue to add fuel to the fire - and then when they get burned they all squeal 'foul' - and run away with their panties in a twist. This is something we'll simply have to vehmently disagree on. I've been "found" at real life events by those who know me on the Internet. Not intentionally and with no malice but I know it could happen in the future. I can not agree that an online threat is ever fart in the wind.

lally2 -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 2:39:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Actually, I did read it before it was pulled. I won't restate the content. I wouldn't have seen it at all if there hadn't been an interesting comment in the duration of the thread that caught My eye on the scroll which led Me to read the entire thread. Was refering to lally with the "avoiding" thing, not you LP. [:)] I'm honestly not suggesting that people read threads they don't want to. Simply that things are said in these threads that can (but not always) reveal a greater picture of a supposed "victim" of the forums. I probably should have quoted directly to avoid the misunderstanding there. I'm not promoting anyone read threads that hold no interest to them, either. I will agree that everyone has posted something at one time or another is out of character for them. That is different than a particular pattern. While not the same as knowing someone in person, there are certain character traits that can be discerned from posting history. I don't think there are any of us out there who have written something at one time or another that just didn't come out the way it was intended. That's different than a person just intending to be offensive or threatening to begin with. Personally (going back to the original) I would love to get back to some of the meat and bones topics of BDSM. I'd enjoy it to no end if the positive experiences forum was used more often where people would have a good time recounting their play experiences with other people from this site. I think it would be great if more folks would talk about the edgier aspects of BDSM, where those of us who like some of the darker things could discuss them. Not to force them on anyone, but not forced to be shut out, either. id love to read more too. and i wonder why there isnt. a couple of people have started threads on wax play and stuff. for me personally i havent really done much of the edgier stuff and at the mo i dont have any chance of it either [&o] - working on it though)), so i cant contribute or i would. out of interest, what does constitute the more edgier aspects of BDSM

LillyoftheVally -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 3:02:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 all i was saying is that threats on here are like farts in the wind, who are they going to harm in real tems since none of us use names that can be googled and if it rattles someone that much they should either This sadly is not true, I have a friend who runs a club in london who was given a very very hard time by someone on IC, to the extent of solicitors getting involved. It does happen.

Level -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/9/2010 4:33:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: Level Every time I forget about them, they usually send me a "greeting" [:D] [:D] - arrest that man!!!! - altogether too pervy for here! levelypoos - youre one of the good guys. xxxx [:)] [:)] Thanks, lally, I truly appreciate that!

jujubeeMB -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/10/2010 12:10:01 AM)
Per the argument over whether threats are "farts in the wind" or not, they're not. And that's final. I know someone personally who was stalked and then attacked by someone she met on the internet; she had hardly given him any information about herself, and certainly not her name. It's naive and perpetuates the danger to wave it off and say "he's harmless" when someone makes a threat. There is nothing healthy or ok about making threats, even from the distance of the internet. Don't agree? Put yourself in his place for a minute. Let's say you're feeling roundly attacked and humiliated by a handful of people. What do you want? You want to take back the power you feel slipping away. How will you do it? By stripping those attackers of their power. Now what is the only power a man who is not as smart or as strong (at least not until he's in person) as the women he's up against has over those women? Fear. Just a tinge of it will do - even the most confident, worldly woman is effected by a direct threat, no matter how safe she feels typing away at home in a distant state, and that's exactly what the man in question intended. Very unhealthy, and dangerous, because it can go further so easily. And even the most well-intentioned "oh, he's harmless" contributes to that possibility. On another note, when someone is making everyone crazy in a thread, by being obnoxious and rude and ridiculous, why not ignore him/her completely? I have to say, osf has managed to make a LOT of really well-spoken, intelligent women dance in circles. Granted, the dancing was angry, but it was still dancing.

myotherself -> RE: Crossing the thin gray line (1/10/2010 12:37:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 When I was a kid my neighbors had a cute bunny named Nosey. Then they had a stew. [sm=jaw.gif][sm=hissyfit.gif]

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