RE: eating pussy

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lusciouslips19 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:03:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied Why be bitter? There are plenty of men who love to eat pussy. And some of them are very talented at it. What I know is that if oral sex (receiving) is important to you and he won't do it, you may grow to resent him and the relationship over time. It is something to consider, especially if there is a lot tied up in that particular act for you. I have always felt that oral sex is the most intimate act (yes, you heard me right), and I prefer a guy who not only does it, but does it well and enthusiastically. Agreed. And after I was e-mailing some years ago on ALT to a nearby gentleman. I went through his checklist that they have on that site under the profiles. Under recieving oral, the box was checked "YES". Under giving it said,"No Way". So I asked him in e-mail and he said it wasnt dominant. I asked him why he thought pussy was bad. He insisted it had nothing to do with that. He said that going down was a submissive act." Well", I thought,"how is it not dominant if I am tied up and he is telling me when I can and cant cum?" Anyhoo, I was glad that I knew this info ahead of time. The last thing I wanted was another man who didnt and the rare times I requested wasnt any good at it. So someone enthusiastic is what I seek. Its also a question I have learned to ask ahead of time.

Aynne88 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:11:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 It is simple for me. You don't eat pussy? Later, dude. I don't see it as a Dominant act or a blue and green alien act, it is something I need and I would not want to be with a man who did not feel the same. Need. So true. I have never been with anyone as skilled, adept, and just into as he is. When you are bound, spread eagled, and getting eaten in between flogging to your pink bits, that's Dominant alright. The OP just has a lazy lover, or selfish or doesn't want to do it. Either way, it has nothing to do with being Dominant. Sometimes we actually gasp just make love and since he is my Dom if he wants to sensually and erotically go down on his girl, well....I won't complain. [;)]. Ever. purrrrs

sweetboundesire -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:15:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mc1234 quote: I don't feel cared for. Or appreciated. i don't think i'm asking for a lot...i'm so lost....so i just got to know if what i desire, beyond, whips and paddles and ropes is normal for anyone else..... ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire Just playing devil's advocate here, because I have a hard time imagining a relationship which has been good for you on many levels ending because of one sexual act. Perhaps you could look at your relationship and see the ways in which he does care for and appreciate you? Maybe they don't exist, but you've list the ways in which you've improved since being with him, so I can't imagine he's that involved with you merely for the kink. But ... I could be wrong! shit i should be sleeping...too early i must wake. this has had my head swimming..all your ideas. I would say yes, we do appreciate each others company. It's grown yet this is important to me. And there needs to be a balance. Funny to say, yet i must feel it in myself. He's away right now. I won't see him till next month. I have time to dwell on this. I have not written him back since his reply. I really don't know what to say at this point. His view of what this is and mine are different. It took too long to get here but now i'm here. Talking with all of you has been very beneficial.

Aynne88 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:21:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...I know it's a vanilla act... no it isn't. it's an act all sorts of folks of all orientations participate in. in order for this slave to particpate in having her pussy eaten, she'd have to submit to HIS desire to eat her pussy...how's that vanilla? oh good grief..i am a young grasshopper aren't i? He is my first experience in this lifestyle. Before Him, no one has beat me, tied me up, whipped me, left me with bruises that take weeks to heal. No one before Him has ever made me cry so hard then cum so good. I don't know anything else. He told me in His view, that's vanilla. Every D/s, M/s is different. He's shown me the painslut I am. Before last May, I just knew I liked being spanked! haha...so much more I have learned I enjoy since. Where I'm at is because of my history or lack thereof. I just realized I liked being Dominated and I found my Daddy and he's taught me so much that I am grateful for. It's good to know that if I move on most people here get it and enjoy giving it. It is what it is with him. I would rather decide it's not going to work than become bitter over it and i suppose wishful thinking is only that now. Fuck. I think and no offense Beth that for you it isn't a vanilla act, instead of a broad brush disclaimer. I mean how many of us before becoming whatever we call outselves in this lifestyle engaged in oral sex? Lots. Yay.[;)]. OP, you are fine honey. Everyone here is going to have a different opinion, but it doesn't make your's wrong. Some people just make every act into a BDSM one, while that works for them, it doesn't make it so ofr everyone. To me eating pussy has always been enjoyed by men I have been with, vanilla or dominant, except my ex husband. Follish man.[8\|].

subtee -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:32:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Beyond the refusal to meet your sexual needs is the fact that from now on you won't believe anything he holds out hope for you to get in the future. You can trust him to lie to you about everything that he isn't man enough to talk honestly about, which means anything you aren't compatible on. Is this what you want, to be with someone who you laugh at whenever he says anything because you won't believe it. The submission here was given to a man who doesn't exist. It is not owed to the man who lied about who he was and what he wanted. This isn't rocket science, you want honesty and loyalty, you lead the way in giving it. Don't give it? Don't get it, it really is that simple. a hundred Kaboullionzillion points.

mc1234 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 9:36:39 PM)
quote: shit i should be sleeping...too early i must wake. this has had my head swimming..all your ideas. I would say yes, we do appreciate each others company. It's grown yet this is important to me. And there needs to be a balance. Funny to say, yet i must feel it in myself. He's away right now. I won't see him till next month. I have time to dwell on this. I have not written him back since his reply. I really don't know what to say at this point. His view of what this is and mine are different. It took too long to get here but now i'm here. Talking with all of you has been very beneficial. Dwelling is never easy or fun. I'm glad that you're giving this much thought and wish you the best.

LafayetteLady -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:01:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire So no matter if I am just a kinky diversion in His World, in mine, its meant much more to me. And what I'm trying to point out to you is that you deserve more than to be just a diversion in someone else's world. I have no doubt that you have given him your best. Don't you think you deserve his best as well? Just because it is D/s doesn't mean that you only get what the "D" wants to give you in the big picture. That is why compatibility is so important. It doesn't matter whether it is you wanting a man who will eat your pussy, or someone that wants to have meaningful conversations or what. You discovered you are a painslut, so in the future would it make any sense for you to develop a relationship with someone who wasn't into giving the pain that you so enjoy? That wouldn't make any sense would it? Of course not. Some people don't want to have a partner who loves them, some do. If that is what you want, don't let any "D" tell you it isn't part of the "dynamic." That is your cue to politely say, "well, it may not be part of YOUR dynamic, but it will be part of MINE. Good luck in your future searches." That goes for anything that you want as part of your relationship. You like playing with girls, so you don't look for someone seeking monogamy. All your "wants" are just as important in the search.

Missokyst -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:14:14 PM)
heh... I say if oral sex is nilla, then it shouldn't matter if it is eating pussy or sucking cock. Oral is oral. So if oral is nilla, then I really hope she isn't sucking cock. That might not be seemly. quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 I mean how many of us before becoming whatever we call outselves in this lifestyle engaged in oral sex? Lots. Yay.[;)].

lusciouslips19 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:16:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 quote: ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth quote: ...I know it's a vanilla act... no it isn't. it's an act all sorts of folks of all orientations participate in. in order for this slave to particpate in having her pussy eaten, she'd have to submit to HIS desire to eat her pussy...how's that vanilla? oh good grief..i am a young grasshopper aren't i? He is my first experience in this lifestyle. Before Him, no one has beat me, tied me up, whipped me, left me with bruises that take weeks to heal. No one before Him has ever made me cry so hard then cum so good. I don't know anything else. He told me in His view, that's vanilla. Every D/s, M/s is different. He's shown me the painslut I am. Before last May, I just knew I liked being spanked! haha...so much more I have learned I enjoy since. Where I'm at is because of my history or lack thereof. I just realized I liked being Dominated and I found my Daddy and he's taught me so much that I am grateful for. It's good to know that if I move on most people here get it and enjoy giving it. It is what it is with him. I would rather decide it's not going to work than become bitter over it and i suppose wishful thinking is only that now. Fuck. I think and no offense Beth that for you it isn't a vanilla act, instead of a broad brush disclaimer. I mean how many of us before becoming whatever we call outselves in this lifestyle engaged in oral sex? Lots. Yay.[;)]. OP, you are fine honey. Everyone here is going to have a different opinion, but it doesn't make your's wrong. Some people just make every act into a BDSM one, while that works for them, it doesn't make it so ofr everyone. To me eating pussy has always been enjoyed by men I have been with, vanilla or dominant, except my ex husband. Follish man.[8\|]. Aynne, Love ya but ya misread, She never called it a submissive act. She just said she didnt like it but she submits to it because its what HE wants. The quote was her highlighting someone elses and she said, "hows that a vanilla act?"

Aynne88 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:25:01 PM)
I don't know Lushy, it looks to me like Beth was saying right after the comment "I know this is a vanilla act" her next response was "No it isn't" then she went on to say why not. Maybe I did misread, hopefully she'll clarify later on. You know I love you too! [:)]. How's things in Chi-town? Freezing ass cold here in Maine. Dang I am in flannel jammies and drinking tea under a comforter. I feel like Grandma Moses for christ sake. ;)

sweetsub1957 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:26:49 PM)
~FR~ haha This thread reminds me of when I was in a vanilla marriage. I never had a problem sucking his cock and, one day, I finally asked him "Why haven't you ever tried to eat me? It doesn't bite, you know....." He said "I...I'm afraid to. I just can't do it." That from a guy in his early 30s. So that was the last time his cock ever got sucked by me. He knew I wanted it badly & wouldn't even try it once. What goes around comes around.....or not. Of course, I learned my lesson. It's obviously better to get these things talked about and agreed upon, or not, before you get in too deep to the point where it causes problems in an established relationship. I don't see oral sex as Dominant, submissive, or vanilla. It's a very intimate thing and it's something I see nothing wrong w/ wanting.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:29:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 ~FR~ haha This thread reminds me of when I was in a vanilla marriage. I never had a problem sucking his cock and, one day, I finally asked him "Why haven't you ever tried to eat me? It doesn't bite, you know....." He said "I...I'm afraid to. I just can't do it." That from a guy in his early 30s. So that was the last time his cock ever got sucked by me. He knew I wanted it badly & wouldn't even try it once. What goes around comes around.....or not. Of course, I learned my lesson. It's obviously better to get these things talked about and agreed upon, or not, before you get in too deep to the point where it causes problems in an established relationship. I don't see oral sex as Dominant, submissive, or vanilla. It's a very intimate thing and it's something I see nothing wrong w/ wanting. I felt the same dang way! You dont give, ya dont get! You're selfish.....

WyldHrt -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:33:51 PM)
quote: I don't know Lushy, it looks to me like Beth was saying right after the comment "I know this is a vanilla act" her next response was "No it isn't" then she went on to say why not. Maybe I did misread, hopefully she'll clarify later on. Not to speak for beth, but I believe that she was saying that for her it is a submissive act. The OP's Dom said that he doesn't do oral on her because it is "vanilla". I believe the point being made was that the same sexual activity can be "vanilla" or "kinky", depending on those involved and how said act happens within the relationship. I'm quite sure beth will correct me tomorrow if I'm wrong.

BiSwitchLee -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 10:52:04 PM)
God and Goddess Bless, you ladies, who do not think that a man who enjoys eating pussy is neccessarily, submissive. I am a switch, and I have brought a number of Dominant as well as submissive, women to sexual, emotionally, and spirtually fulfilling orgasms, over my 60 years on this planet, earth. Even some who enjoyed it while menstruating. .. Yes honest people !!!!!!!

Pygromanche -> RE: eating pussy (1/8/2010 11:13:14 PM)
I think that for some men when they think of oral sex their initial response....although subconscious....is of that curious little boy in the back of the class or on the playground, or in the hallway talking about sex. And what they remember from somebody's older brother or older cousin passing down stories of pornos or that really "skanky" girl who was caught in the back of somebody's car giving head to some jock. And the urban legend builds, then instead of it being in the back of someone's car with one guy, it's in the school stairwell....or in the boy's locker room and the one guy has multiplied to the entire football team.... Oral is conditioned into us as being something that the little fast tailed girl did, and got a ruined reputation. But the guy of course was always praised as being "the man" because he got a girl to suck on his little cock within this same conversation it always turns to the possibility of the guy eating out the girl...going down on her. And for most, not all mind you, but yes for a great majority this is when it is ingrained into guys that if the tables were ever turned HE would be the one viewed as being "nasty" and it would be his reputation that would end up sullied. He would become the dirty, slutty whore.....what everyone was calling the girl. It isn't until college when they discover the joys of oral sex and experiment that a good slathering figure out "Hey oral sex is great!" Then you have that slim minority who are too chicken shit to overcome their conditioning and NEVER try it out. Because in their minds they still correlate oral to being a dirty nasty thing. Some may enjoy oral but still think, way in the back of their minds that by performing oral you are allowing your tongue to be used for someone else's pleasure, which in short equates to subservience...especially since you receive no sensory pleasures yourself as the giver (this is for some.... definitely not for me ;p lol). Personally I enjoy oral....giving, receiving....in both submissive and dominant ways, lol I enjoy it, but then again I've experienced it in all manners to know that I enjoy it. Those who have never gotten over their own personal conditioning in terms of oral, will never be able to get over it, and just have fun! ;p Lady Py

johndafreak -> RE: eating pussy (1/9/2010 2:31:15 AM)
quote: This doesn't have anything to do with D/s, s&m, M/s or any other combination of letters. Some men, vanilla and kinky, just don't like to eat pussy. Your guy is using the D/s relationship as a cop out, a handy reason or a lame excuse I wonder if a rim job would be out of the question?

DomImus -> RE: eating pussy (1/9/2010 4:49:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Agreed. And after I was e-mailing some years ago on ALT to a nearby gentleman. I went through his checklist that they have on that site under the profiles. Under recieving oral, the box was checked "YES". Under giving it said,"No Way". So I asked him in e-mail and he said it wasnt dominant. I asked him why he thought pussy was bad. He insisted it had nothing to do with that. He said that going down was a submissive act." Well", I thought,"how is it not dominant if I am tied up and he is telling me when I can and cant cum?" Anyhoo, I was glad that I knew this info ahead of time. The last thing I wanted was another man who didnt and the rare times I requested wasnt any good at it. So someone enthusiastic is what I seek. Its also a question I have learned to ask ahead of time. Not to throw a monkey wrench into this discussion but here is another angle. For years... decades, to be honest... I was never much interested in going down. I dabbled at it a few times with a few women and it just didn't speak to me. Something spoke to me to try it one day with mine and I loved it and still love it and by all indications so does she. Does that mean I will love it with my next partner (if there ever is one) or the one after that? Not necessarily. So my honest answer to the checklist would be "Giving it: Yes. Giving it to you (generic you): Maybe". Before anyone mentions it the vast majority of those past relationships were ended by me at the objection of the other party - i.e. they didn't dump me because I didn't go down on them. To that end it didn't seem to matter to them or at least they never said anything. I have never ever had a woman ask for oral sex and I have been in enough relationships that a mathematician might call it a statistically valid sample. I think it's great that you and others do think about it and ask about it but in 30 years I've never met a woman who does or did.

xssve -> RE: eating pussy (1/9/2010 5:15:36 AM)
Well, a lot of it is in the approach - if a sub thought swabbing the Lilly wasn't domly, I'd just snarl: "spread your fucking legs bitch, I'm gonna eat that pussy, and you're going to take it!"

Pygromanche -> RE: eating pussy (1/9/2010 5:45:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomImus Before anyone mentions it the vast majority of those past relationships were ended by me at the objection of the other party - i.e. they didn't dump me because I didn't go down on them. To that end it didn't seem to matter to them or at least they never said anything. I have never ever had a woman ask for oral sex and I have been in enough relationships that a mathematician might call it a statistically valid sample. I think it's great that you and others do think about it and ask about it but in 30 years I've never met a woman who does or did. This is because we have been conditioned as women not to ask.....it isn't "lady like" but on more than one occasion have I as a female had my hair pulled, placing my head in between some man's legs and told to suck his fucking dick. I have had men ask, beg, and demand oral from me. Now just stop to think if the next time you take a woman home if she grabbed you by the hair (be you male or female) brought you to your knees, and shoved her crotch in your face, what would you honestly think about her?? Aggressive. Selfish? Psycho....or Hot, depending on who you are lol. But you would begin to give her labels that you would naturally think of as more masculine "dominant" characteristics. It's because in the back of everyone's mind we still think about that girl giving blow jobs to the entire football team underneath the bleachers (or whatever your version details). If we didn't, women would ask for oral more, and they would be a lot easier to give oral as well. I am just now starting to embrace the fact that this secret part of me enjoys giving blow jobs....lol, but that obviously is something that's expressed far less than a man saying he loves to eat pussy.....now days. Lol. It boils down to the societal double standard.

Mercnbeth -> RE: eating pussy (1/9/2010 6:21:58 AM)
quote: I think and no offense Beth that for you it isn't a vanilla act, instead of a broad brush disclaimer. I mean how many of us before becoming whatever we call outselves in this lifestyle engaged in oral sex? Lots. Yay.[;)]. no offense taken, Aynne88. this slave doesn't believe in generalizing activities as vanilla/non-vanilla...it's the intention and participants that make things vanilla or not. which is what she was trying to get across when she said : it's an act all sorts of folks of all orientations participate in. quote: Aynne, Love ya but ya misread, She never called it a submissive act. She just said she didnt like it but she submits to it because its what HE wants. thanks, lushy. that's a lot closer to what this slave meant. it is never a desire for her, but is sometimes a desire for Master---and she submits to His desires, like it or not. quote: ...Not to speak for beth, but I believe that she was saying that for her it is a submissive act. The OP's Dom said that he doesn't do oral on her because it is "vanilla". I believe the point being made was that the same sexual activity can be "vanilla" or "kinky", depending on those involved and how said act happens within the relationship. I'm quite sure beth will correct me tomorrow if I'm wrong... thanks, Wyld. you are correct. eating pussy, as a stand alone concept, doesn't strike this slave as a vanilla OR non-vanilla act. it could be either, depending on the participants. in the context of the relationship this slave is in and her position in the relationship, having her pussy eaten, is an act of submitting to His desire. and because he knows it is uncomfortable for this slave and something this slave does not enjoy...guess what the sadist in Him really enjoys from time to time? Hmmmmmm?[:)]

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