RE: whims (Full Version)

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osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 9:21:46 AM)

ok, it's sub



KnightofMists -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 9:34:22 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


I agree. I hate the term no matter who uses it, men or women. If someone thinks it is a sign of affection from THEIR partner, nice for them. For me, no man I would be with would be calling me subbie. If someone has that in their profile, or writes me with it, I immediately turn off.



I have always found it interesting that so many find it the term distasteful. It seems like many other terms this label implies a sense of closeness that when used by someone that is not that close to those it is directed towards they will find it offensive. Words often have emotional feelings attached to them and one can do much better in social circles if they have a better appreciation of these attachments. I think developing a social intelligence can do a person good if he/she hopes to interact with others constructively.



UniqueRaven -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 9:38:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
I agree. I hate the term no matter who uses it, men or women. If someone thinks it is a sign of affection from THEIR partner, nice for them. For me, no man I would be with would be calling me subbie. If someone has that in their profile, or writes me with it, I immediately turn off.


I have always found it interesting that so many find it the term distasteful. It seems like many other terms this label implies a sense of closeness that when used by someone that is not that close to those it is directed towards they will find it offensive. Words often have emotional feelings attached to them and one can do much better in social circles if they have a better appreciation of these attachments. I think developing a social intelligence can do a person good if he/she hopes to interact with others constructively.

Yes to the point about the emotional meanings attached to words. Like the words "whore" or "slut" - they can very distasteful, insulting even, but in other contexts can be amazingly affectionate and intimate....it is all about context and the social and emotional intelligence regarding them.



sexyred1 -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:07:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


I agree. I hate the term no matter who uses it, men or women. If someone thinks it is a sign of affection from THEIR partner, nice for them. For me, no man I would be with would be calling me subbie. If someone has that in their profile, or writes me with it, I immediately turn off.



I have always found it interesting that so many find it the term distasteful. It seems like many other terms this label implies a sense of closeness that when used by someone that is not that close to those it is directed towards they will find it offensive. Words often have emotional feelings attached to them and one can do much better in social circles if they have a better appreciation of these attachments. I think developing a social intelligence can do a person good if he/she hopes to interact with others constructively.


To each his own words and the meanings attached. I don't think social intelligence has any bearing on personal preferences. If someone writes me and says Hello slut, that is not acceptable. However, if someone I am involved with calls me that, I am happy as a clam.



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:15:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

seeking subbies thoughts on this

on a whim he tells you to do something, it's not somethng that is important to him and he didn't give it much thought and set no time frame

it's not particularly difficult

now you have other things you had planed to do, that you consider of higher importance

what level of importance and priority do you place on it and why


I'm afraid I have to know the specifics before giving any real answer. His whims are important. They are more important than me picking up the dry cleaning - unless I or he need one of the items tomorrow. His whims are less important than me getting to the doctor's office on time though.



osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:16:17 AM)

there is no universal code of conduct on here

i have been dished by women because i was too polite and dished by others because i wasn't polite enough, go figure

there was one that pulled her profile after i said slow down because she wanted to come to me from calif after 2 hours of chat

years ago i had a woman offer me her daughter and that was before the cops got on line to trap pedophiles so she was legit

ok, someone tell me why some of us men are confused

but of course it's only men that act that way, not



KnightofMists -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:19:18 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


To each his own words and the meanings attached. I don't think social intelligence has any bearing on personal preferences. If someone writes me and says Hello slut, that is not acceptable. However, if someone I am involved with calls me that, I am happy as a clam.



SI doesn't have much affect on the preferences of those labels... but it has much impact on being able to use those terms effectively and constructively in developing and maintaining our relationships.



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:19:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

lets have a vote,, sub/s or subbie/s



I vote sub.

The people I am friends with here and I joke around with a lot will use the term subbie with each other and I'll use it when I'm feeling light-hearted to refer to myself. However, I don't find it appropriate for a someone to make a post addressing all the submissives and call them subbies. It's a bit like when someone makes a post going "all right pets". It's overly-familiar.



littlewonder -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:20:17 AM)

Most times his orders come first...no matter what else I may think is more important. I do what he says.

He knows what's going on in my life for the most part so he's pretty good at figuring out what I should do first and foremost. I don't normally have to intercede.

But sometimes life just sucks and being I have responsibilities in life, sometimes things just happen and I have to take them first or be fired from my job or deal a blow to my child or something or other....so I do those things first and I let him know what happened. He then decides from there if it really was more important or not and then I deal with the consequences.


Edited to add: RE: subbie....just makes you sound stupid <shrug>.






lucylucy -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:25:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

there is no universal code of conduct on here

i have been dished by women because i was too polite and dished by others because i wasn't polite enough, go figure

there was one that pulled her profile after i said slow down because she wanted to come to me from calif after 2 hours of chat

years ago i had a woman offer me her daughter and that was before the cops got on line to trap pedophiles so she was legit

ok, someone tell me why some of us men are confused

but of course it's only men that act that way, not


Wow.

How about just saying, "Sorry I offended some people. I didn't mean to. Since the majority here seem to prefer 'sub,' that's the term I'll use"? Everyone has to negotiate mixed messages here and in "real life." No need to get all huffy about it.



NuevaVida -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:26:31 AM)

Re: whims:  If I'm not sure, I ask.

Re: sub/bie:  The word "subbie" just seems silly and immature to me.  Even if my owner called me that, I think I'd quirk my head a bit. He'd likely be saying it jokingly though, so I'd probably just laugh.



osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 10:48:02 AM)

quote:

Wow.

How about just saying, "Sorry I offended some people. I didn't mean to. Since the majority here seem to prefer 'sub,' that's the term I'll use"? Everyone has to negotiate mixed messages here and in "real life." No need to get all huffy about it.


thought i did that

but i keep hearing that men in general on here lack finesse, i just want to say it's not only men, though i must agree most don't
but in my one on one correspondence i'm not my public persona, can be quite polite

but what do you write to a woman whose profile pic is a spread shot of her holding her lips open and the camera taking pic of her tonsils?

hows the weather in there?



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:06:32 AM)

Personally? Either something non-sexual from her profile or I don't write to her.



osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:09:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Personally? Either something non-sexual from her profile or I don't write to her.


have read some of their profiles Lolololololol



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:12:16 AM)

If the profile doesn't contain anything non-sexual than I don't bother writing.

Simple as that.



osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:16:42 AM)

quote:

If the profile doesn't contain anything non-sexual than I don't bother writing.


but but the most interesting ones do



lucylucy -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:19:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

Wow.

How about just saying, "Sorry I offended some people. I didn't mean to. Since the majority here seem to prefer 'sub,' that's the term I'll use"? Everyone has to negotiate mixed messages here and in "real life." No need to get all huffy about it.


thought i did that



You did, but then you followed it up with another post that I was responding to that was quite huffy, in my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
but i keep hearing that men in general on here lack finesse, i just want to say it's not only men


Of course it's not only men. We all have our moments. I've had to apologize a few times for being bitchy in my posts. You're in good company.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
but what do you write to a woman whose profile pic is a spread shot of her holding her lips open and the camera taking pic of her tonsils?

hows the weather in there?


I wouldn't write to her, no matter how fascinating her profile write up is. If that's her pic, she and I lack a few basic commonalities.



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 11:26:45 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

If the profile doesn't contain anything non-sexual than I don't bother writing.


but but the most interesting ones do


This statement is confusing. Do contain nothing non-sexual or do contain non-sexual things? Please be more clear in your communication.



osf -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 12:06:37 PM)

well since im a eunuch the sex doesn't interest me lololol



AquaticSub -> RE: whims (1/9/2010 12:08:45 PM)

I see.



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