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Termyn8or -> RE: To the guy who mugged me and my girlfriend on Monday night. (1/14/2010 7:24:42 AM)
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Hi, this is Ralph.
If you can recollect you are the one who tried to steal my car stereo the other night. Sorry about that broken nose and arm, and all the things my brother did to you. Perhaps you thought I was a safe target. You didn't notice the cameras all over the property. Actually those were not put in there for you, they are there as protection for my kids. It just wasn't your day buddy, when I heard that noise and flipped my TV to monitor mode and saw you ransacking my car.
I am sorry that you wound up in the hospital, I wanted you out on the street to tell your thief buddies about the apparent dangers of robbing me. I wonder why you didn't just tell the cops at the hospital that you fell in a ditch, they shiowed up here and as one with a past, I disavowed any knowledge of you, your predicament or whereabouts. You can thank me later for not implicating you, that is unless I run into you out in the street. Luckily you didn't try to rob my Mom, she would've shot you dead, and would not have been able to carry your limp ass out to the middle of the street like we did. You're lucky that van missed you by inches.
Incidentally your efforts were for naught, because the main ground connection went bad and fried out both my 400 watt amp and the head unit. But business is business so better luck next time.
Now THAT is not fiction. The OP may have been, but I like it anyway. I even like the time in Crocodile Dundee where a dude tries to rob them and the girl says "He's got a knife" and Croc pulls out this elephant knife or whatever and says "No, he doesn't, THIS is a real knife". I only hope such incidents happened in real life at some point.
T
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