LafayetteLady
Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Gah! That's the second time I've been called "Sir" tonight! No! I haven't been addressed that way since I did teaching practice. Take that back!!
I am getting out more. For instance, tomorrow, I'm going to spend a week with a very long-standing, generally very intelligent, female friend who's just given birth. The father can't be there because he got deported back to the USA when he arrived last month. This happened because he a) had no bank account b) has a criminal record and c) is, generally, a useless fuckwit. Oh, and I've just heard that he's an alcoholic.
If I get out more, I only meet more women who fall for men like this!
Well, Peon, I'm glad that your friend has you to help her. Sad that of course the fuckwit (I like that word by the way, adding to my favorites along with asshat), was from the USA. We have so many here, we really would prefer y'all kept some of them over there, lol.
quote:
ORIGINAL: hardbodysub
It's true that many times people make good decisions based on intuition, knowing the right answer but not really knowing how they know it. What's going on is that their subconscious is accumulating and analyzing the information they've absorbed, but they aren't really aware of the process.
However, in most cases the concept of intuition is closely tied to the idea of "first impressions" being correct most of the time, and both are largely bullsh**.
You get a "first impression" of a person you've just met, and your intuition tells you that this person is good, bad, whatever. Time passes, and lo and behold, your first impression is proven correct by what this person says and does. The ensuing evidence supports your intuition, your first impression. Or so you think. What has really happened in most cases is that your first impression creates a bias in your data gathering and analysis. You overlook information that would refute your intuition, and focus on that which supports it. Research has shown this to be the reason that people often believe in their intuition even when it was wrong.
I have to disagree with you here. At least in my case. I have worked in the legal field for a very long time, and as part of my job, I would do "intake" the interviewing of a new client to find out exactly what they wanted an attorney for. Obviously, the goal is to find reasons that you WANT to take the case, and to find strengths for representing them. Often, within a tweny minute conference, I am able to find both the good and the bad, and I know exactly what is missing or where the "holes" in the case are. The "first impression" we are looking for isn't that the potential client is a loser, but often that is what would happen.
I learned to trust my "gut" and my intuition a long time ago. What you are talking about happens so often in relationships because people don't want to believe that something is wrong. That's more the whole "blinded by love" scenario, and I think everyone has fallen into that trap at least once in their life no matter how short a period of time it lasted.
I think that LadyAngelika's point is not whether or not intuition, instinct, gut or whatever you choose to call it exists, rather wondering why in some ways (as in knowing how to please your lover), the instinct is strong, and yet in other ways (not seeing a partner for the cheater they were), the instincts are ignored. Wondering what makes us pay attention in one instance, but ignore it in others.
Now certainly, getting to know your partner has a lot to "intuitively" knowing how to please them, tease them or torture them. But sometimes, we make the assumption (in a good way) that our partner will enjoy something not necessarily based on a conversation, but on other "cues." I see this a lot with people who seem to be very "in tune" with each other. From the moment my partner and I got together, we seemed to be very "in tune," finishing each other's thoughts and knowing what each would enjoy. It had little to do with how well we knew each other at that point, it was our first date. Fourteen years later, it still happens, but now we do know each other very well, and the "in tuneness" (if that's a word) has simply increased.
Just like in the opposite. Using LA's example of someone cheating. When she looked back, she could pick out all the "signals" that something was wrong, but why didn't she "act" on them? Typically, because at the time they were occurring, she didn't WANT them to be true. Who could blame her? No one wants to be betrayed, so it isn't uncommon to try to come up with other reasons for the suspicious behavior. Some people will "ignore" those cues forever. Others, like LA eventually realize that enough is wrong that it is time to end it. Even if then she didn't end it specifically for the cheating, her "inner voice" her intuition starting smacking her upside the head hard enough to make her listen and when it was over, she opened herself up to seeing all the things she didn't want to see before.
Again, how does one "hone" their intuition? They learn to trust themselves and listen to those little inner voices. For me, listening to my inner voice is easy. I can usually analyze a situation very quickly, make a decision and that's the end of it. Some people think that I am impulsive (they don't believe I can figure it out that fast), others say that I have good instincts and am very intuitive.
Now I have no doubt that if Lady Angelika thinks that I have interpreted her question wrong, she will make it a point to let us all know. I also have little doubt that she would ever ignored the "clues" that a partner might be cheating on her ever again. So does that mean she "honed" her intuition or that she learned from experience? Better yet, does it matter which it is? She doesn't strike me as the type that will typically repeat past mistakes.
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RE: Domina Intuition - 
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