Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Around Her Finger


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Around Her Finger Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 6:24:17 AM   
femaleserver


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/10/2004
Status: offline 		Does AHF involve/include practices of chastity?

If so, what kind?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 7:37:21 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Okay, I give up.  I've googled AHF without finding any decent results.  What is AHF?  

(in reply to femaleserver)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 7:43:50 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		I'm thinking this... http://aroundherfinger.com/  but to be honest, I think all the OP would need to do is some reading and meet a woman who ascribes to the principles discussed in the link (if that's what he's referencing).  I don't believe there's a set list of rules for any female-led relationship outside of what the couple agrees on.

If I'm wrong, I'm open to learning.

*edited to add...In doing a bit more reading on the site in the above link, I found this bit of information for the men I thought was interesting...

"What makes this site different from so many others that are available on the web is that it very consciously avoids the erotic appeal of the dominant woman. While virtually all submissive men acknowledge the sexual attraction of female authority, the exploitation of that sexual power has been done to death on the internet. This site instead aspires to be a very tangible resource for couples that want to productively deal with the male's submissive desires."

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 1/10/2010 7:48:47 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to peppermint)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 8:47:58 AM   
femaleserver


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/10/2004
Status: offline 		Sorry..

AHF = Around Her Finger. Its a book for Dominate Women/Wives

< Message edited by femaleserver -- 1/10/2010 8:48:54 AM >

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 8:58:59 AM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		It absolutely does involve elements of male chastity. If the couple want it to. If they don't, then it doesn't. You've got a couple of options. Find people who subscribe to that exact philosophy (I assume there's a specific philosophy in there somewhere?) and then narrow it down to the one who's most compatible with you, or (and this is what I'd do) find someone you're compatible with, and develop a philosophy together, if you feel you need one.

(in reply to femaleserver)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:04:44 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		It's "dominant" not "dominate" and please offer a different photo if possible.

The book is on the link I posted.  Have you read either?

I'm not sure how your very general question can be answered in a specific way.  As I said before...female led relationship dynamics can vary depending on  the agreed upon rules of each couple.






_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to femaleserver)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:17:25 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I read your profile. I'm confused. You and your wife are looking for someone to do what with? I mean, are you both looking for a dominant, while she is dominant to you and has you wrapped around her finger or are you needing two women to be wrapped around a finger with?

And I agree... the picture is enough to make me not want to go to too many threads where I have to view it. You are a decent looking and fit man... but the totally nude and full exposure thing is a bit offsetting.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:26:53 AM   
homedespot


Posts: 79
Joined: 5/28/2006
Status: offline 		I don't mean to hijack the thread, so I'll just give My personal opinion that male chastity is the quickest way to a mans brain, but that is simply personal experience.

The website aroundherfinger.com was given by an earlier poster and while I appreciate the concept of the site I think it continues an issue with D/s or M/s lifestyle slavery that is going to have to be addressed at some point. The idea is that women need to talk like men in-order to dominate them. One thing that has been very useful and important to mental domination is forcing a man to speak MY language, instead of the other way 'round.

The website says:
" Sample Dialogues for Wives with Submissive Husbands (Some of these seem pretty corny, but these little snippets have received tons of positive feedback! Feel free to send your own and we'll add them to the collection.)

Go get the lotion. I need you to rub my feet.

Run my bath for me. And while I'm in there get started on the laundry.

Get up, Sweetheart, and make me some coffee and an English muffin with butter.

You did a nice job cleaning the bathrooms; I am very pleased with you.

I want a full body massage for exactly one hour; keep an eye on the clock. When you are done I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop. Afterwards, we'll both go to sleep. You won't be having an orgasm tonight."

I find these all very illustrative of women being asked (or told) to speak like man. In a female led household, in My opinion, it is the male who must learn to speak female. I would rephrase these for the intended audience of the site (women who are new to domination)

"Gosh I'd sort of like a footrub, would you mind?"

"I think my favorite jeans are in the wash""I'd kill for a cup of coffee"

"My shoulders are sore after that workout"

and so forth.Women, in general, do not speak with the same directive language that men do...and shouldn't have to.

I would suggest pretty any book by Deborah Tannen http://www.amazon.com/You-Just-Dont-Understand-Conversation/dp/0345372050, or this short, and not excellent, summary article: http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html

Sorry for the hijack.Yes to orgasm control in my experience.J.


< Message edited by homedespot -- 1/10/2010 9:36:04 AM >

(in reply to femaleserver)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:38:24 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Well damn! I am batting zero it seems! I talk very direct... add a few thank you's and please's and such... but no way am I indirect, hidden, manipulative in speech or anything else except maybe some fun and games time.

No way am I saying... I sorta want or need a foot rub... do you think you might... pretty please, give me one?!

It's more like... Honey... I need a foot rub and would like you to fit it in as soon as you can please. Ahhh... thank you darlin! lol

Teaching women to speak from some so called woman's stand of... well I sorta... could you please... I think I... are all ways of speaking from an unsure place. I can see the point they might have... that men mostly stuck in fantasy, need or desire a barking bitch... but hey... to each their own. I sure wouldn't advise women to go either route! lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to homedespot)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:38:35 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Okay, and what do you do when he doesn't "get" your indirect, female language?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to homedespot)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:45:04 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Okay, and what do you do when he doesn't "get" your indirect, female language?
slap him?


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 9:53:43 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Okay, and what do you do when he doesn't "get" your indirect, female language?
slap him?



well, while that might be refreshing, I'm not sure if he'd be able to translate her language any better, he'd just end up in the fetal posistion or something.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 10:59:01 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO
It's "dominant" not "dominate" and please offer a different photo if possible.


I use Firefox with AdBlock Plus to view the forums so I can block photos that burn my eyes. It's easy to right-click and block a specific image. I also routinely block hyperactive animated pictures.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 11:15:44 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Well damn! I am batting zero it seems! I talk very direct... add a few thank you's and please's and such... but no way am I indirect, hidden, manipulative in speech or anything else except maybe some fun and games time.


Oh gosh! That is all we need, huh Lockit? A guide to tell us how to talk to men? Gee... like you, I'm batting zero! ;-)

I guess I'm my own little brand of Domina, but I very often start a request with "what would please me very much right now is if you would... " and then how on earth could they say no if their desire is to please me?

My parents raised me to be polite and graceful. Besides, the caliber of submissive men that I date probably appreciate that I'm a Lady and not a bitch barking out orders. And in the end, it simply not who I am.

Sometimes I'll be direct.... like "Drop your trousers, luv". Ha!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 1/10/2010 11:17:25 AM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 12:38:44 PM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Okay, and what do you do when he doesn't "get" your indirect, female language?


Beat him while telling him how exactly to interpret it next time?

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 1:04:20 PM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Well damn! I am batting zero it seems! I talk very direct... add a few thank you's and please's and such... but no way am I indirect, hidden, manipulative in speech or anything else except maybe some fun and games time.

No way am I saying... I sorta want or need a foot rub... do you think you might... pretty please, give me one?!

It's more like... Honey... I need a foot rub and would like you to fit it in as soon as you can please. Ahhh... thank you darlin! lol

Teaching women to speak from some so called woman's stand of... well I sorta... could you please... I think I... are all ways of speaking from an unsure place. I can see the point they might have... that men mostly stuck in fantasy, need or desire a barking bitch... but hey... to each their own. I sure wouldn't advise women to go either route! lol


Her:  "Go do X for me"

Him "What do you say?"

Her "NOW!"




_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 1:15:59 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: homedespot

I don't mean to hijack the thread, so I'll just give My personal opinion that male chastity is the quickest way to a mans brain, but that is simply personal experience.

The website aroundherfinger.com was given by an earlier poster and while I appreciate the concept of the site I think it continues an issue with D/s or M/s lifestyle slavery that is going to have to be addressed at some point. The idea is that women need to talk like men in-order to dominate them. One thing that has been very useful and important to mental domination is forcing a man to speak MY language, instead of the other way 'round.

The website says:
" Sample Dialogues for Wives with Submissive Husbands (Some of these seem pretty corny, but these little snippets have received tons of positive feedback! Feel free to send your own and we'll add them to the collection.)

Go get the lotion. I need you to rub my feet.

Run my bath for me. And while I'm in there get started on the laundry.

Get up, Sweetheart, and make me some coffee and an English muffin with butter.

You did a nice job cleaning the bathrooms; I am very pleased with you.

I want a full body massage for exactly one hour; keep an eye on the clock. When you are done I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop. Afterwards, we'll both go to sleep. You won't be having an orgasm tonight."

I find these all very illustrative of women being asked (or told) to speak like man. In a female led household, in My opinion, it is the male who must learn to speak female. I would rephrase these for the intended audience of the site (women who are new to domination)

"Gosh I'd sort of like a footrub, would you mind?"

"I think my favorite jeans are in the wash""I'd kill for a cup of coffee"

"My shoulders are sore after that workout"

and so forth.Women, in general, do not speak with the same directive language that men do...and shouldn't have to.

I would suggest pretty any book by Deborah Tannen http://www.amazon.com/You-Just-Dont-Understand-Conversation/dp/0345372050, or this short, and not excellent, summary article: http://raysweb.net/poems/articles/tannen.html

Sorry for the hijack.Yes to orgasm control in my experience.J.



whoa...I don't think I have the patience for this, especially at the end of the day...lol

I don't bark orders, but I give direct orders and expect for them to be followed.  I don't have time for someone to "get my drift" and go through loads of misunderstandings, especially he would think I didn't really mean it or that the task wasn't that important for him to do....which would make me, shall we say, very unhappy....lol

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to homedespot)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 3:10:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I think if I got into such pussyfooting as to say "I might kinda, sorta, maybe want you to" whatever, clip would probably tilt his head to the side and wonder what kind of space alien had infected the brain of his Mistress.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DrkJourney)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 3:30:25 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL! That was cute!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Around Her Finger - 1/10/2010 4:19:29 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level
Okay, and what do you do when he doesn't "get" your indirect, female language?


Beat him while telling him how exactly to interpret it next time?



LOL!

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Drifa)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Around Her Finger Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094