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ORIGINAL: persephonee
*swats ale*

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Spell check... it's impotent

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ORIGINAL: osf

couldn't limits be viewed as things to be removed as the relationships evolves?

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ORIGINAL: mc1234

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ORIGINAL: osf

couldn't limits be viewed as things to be removed as the relationships evolves?

I guess that depends on your definition of limits. My only limits are morally repugnant to me, and to him as well, so they wouldn't be removed - but they also wouldn't be discussed or considered. It's really not a big deal to us.

If you view limits as things that the sub is scared to try or just doesn't enjoy doing - yes, they could be removed as they grow together and she trusts him more.

Kind of a circular discussion, isn't it?

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ORIGINAL: mc1234

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ORIGINAL: osf

couldn't limits be viewed as things to be removed as the relationships evolves?

I guess that depends on your definition of limits. My only limits are morally repugnant to me, and to him as well, so they wouldn't be removed - but they also wouldn't be discussed or considered. It's really not a big deal to us.

If you view limits as things that the sub is scared to try or just doesn't enjoy doing - yes, they could be removed as they grow together and she trusts him more.

Kind of a circular discussion, isn't it?

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ORIGINAL: osf

someone show me the dom that's going to say at first when the subject of limits is discussed " are you sure sweetheart those are all you need, here take this here bag of extra limits just in case?

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Limits are things that will do damage to me, either physical or emotional. You can't say that I have to be willing to be only partially broken. What is that anyway, like a little bit pregnant? Clip said it best when he explained that crackers on the end of a whip will make him assume it's gunshots being fired. He can't agree to just a few because the reaction will be the same if it's one or ten.

Setting off a panic attack in me deliberately by doing something you agreed not to do will damage me. More than that, by proving you're a liar, that I'm not able to trust in my safety when with you, you will irreparably end the relationship.

Inverted suspension will set off my vertigo. That's not permanent damage, only a week or two of being unable to do anything except crawl between the bed and the bathroom, no way to cook or take care of my kids. But I'm not going to stay with anyone who doesn't accept the fact that I'm not willing to be made that ill for no reason.

As far as there can be a certain number of limits and they must diminish with time? Poppycock. With age comes more limits, not less. Arthritis, vertigo, cancer, any number of things will occur. Someone who says I can never add a limit is someone I can't count on being there for me when life throws bad things at me.

As far as we shouldn't have to say no minors? I doubt if there's a single mother on this or any other such site who hasn't gotten email from people who focus on her because she has a female minor who he wants to train to please him. We say this in the hopes of not getting any more such email.

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ORIGINAL: osf

what are you thought on what and how many limits you will cave into for a relationship

my concept is of a fixed volume in which you both exist the greater volume taken by her limits the les volume you have in which to exercise authority

your thoughts?

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

I personally don't like people trying to place limitations on my actions or future decisions...I get that enough from government and families and society as a whole. Why would I gravitate to a female that said..No can't do that..or that or that or that..

Control is what I look for and if a female can't give that over..All of it then I move to one who can.
I want all of a female..Not just parts.

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ORIGINAL: osf

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

I personally don't like people trying to place limitations on my actions or future decisions...I get that enough from government and families and society as a whole. Why would I gravitate to a female that said..No can't do that..or that or that or that..

Control is what I look for and if a female can't give that over..All of it then I move to one who can.
I want all of a female..Not just parts.

icarys, destroyer of fantasies

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ORIGINAL: osf
my concept is of a fixed volume in which you both exist the greater volume taken by her limits the les volume you have in which to exercise authority

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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

From a Dominants perpective:

Pitcher (DS)  Limits (what is removed from the pitcher), Liquids (what fills the pitcher)
His authority is what he can spill, drink, pour, boil, neglect until it evaporates, i.e. what he has control over - that being the liquids inside the pitcher.   Your question was, "how much volume (or lack of it) are you willing to settle for." 

Even if you start with a full pitcher, and all that is taken out are the limts, then what you have is not the empty space - but whatever liquid is left.  Although I suppose I can see how you would end up with an empty pitcher.

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ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

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ORIGINAL: osf
my concept is of a fixed volume in which you both exist the greater volume taken by her limits the les volume you have in which to exercise authority

You see life as a zero-sum game? Seriously? Like, the entire relationship revolves around how much power you have?
You imply that the entire point of having a relationship with a woman is to exercise kink and erotic play or something, which in turn suggests that you don't seem open to any other sort of interaction between people.

For most people that I have known- that is, real people who live in real relationships- limits really only become an issue in the very early stages- once there is a compatibility, and a serious relationship develops, limits grow and change and expand or contract based on their personal growth and development.

Things that were absolute "must haves" at 25 become "not so important" at 30, then become important again at 40; And overall, the family, the relationshikp and home and bond that is created, becomes the primary thing to be supported, honored, and respected- what makes your dick hard or what she finds icky becomes less and less important.

I find it really odd that someone would even need to point this out.