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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/14/2010 8:05:38 AM

Jeffff

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/14/2010 5:43:10 PM

SirJohnMandevill

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mc1234

I never really understood the term 'passive agressive' so I looked it up. From http://www.answers.com/topic/passive-aggressive:

"The DSM-IV Appendix B definition is as follows:[3]

A) A pervasive pattern of negativistic attitudes and passive resistance to demands for adequate performance, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicted by four (or more) of the following:
1.passively resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks
2.complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others
3.is sullen and argumentative
4.unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority
5.expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate
6.voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune
7.alternates between hostile defiance and contrition"

Interesting. This could easily be someone who identifies as a dominant, however, it's not any kind of dominant or person that I'd want to be associated with - let alone be owned by.

Hmmmmm. OK, I certainly wouldn't saddle myself with any of those attributes (except maybe "scorns authority"

), but I've had sub friends describe their and other Dominants with many of those exact qualities. So it would seem that while they can co-exist with dominance, like MC, I figure those qualities are probably not what someone would exactly seek out.

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/14/2010 8:47:59 PM

abuddingdom

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I haven't read the thread, only the first handful of posts. I was about to sign out and go to bed when it caught my eye so I'm only reacting to the subject itself and not any opinions in this discussion(I'll try to catch up tomorrow).

Passive aggressive behavior doesn't go hand in hand with dominance, and it's one of several hard limits for me relationship-wise. Lying, brattiness(which of course is defined many ways), disobedience are a few others. In almost 6 decades on this marble I experienced my quota and above. I don't do it and simply won't tolerate it. I don't even want to be around it - I can't control many areas of my life and the people I have to deal with but I can control my house and what goes on in it. People who are passive aggressive with each other - or if one accepts or tolerates it from another - deserve each other.

I sought D/s and power exchange to simplify things in my life. Passive aggressivness is an unnecessary complication, and I don't like unnecessary complications.......

Yawwwn.......I bid a good night to one and all........

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/15/2010 4:10:45 PM

LadyeAutumn

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The qualities of a passive aggressive person are the qualities that might lead someone to describe him or herself as Dominant, but there is a difference between wanting to be a Dom and actually being one. I've met passive aggressive people who play top, and they are usually pretty pathetic individuals with a veneer of Dominance and a desperate need for everyone around them to acknowledge their Domliness. In reality, they can't even truly control themselves.

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/16/2010 11:07:32 AM

ResidentSadist

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so this presents "passive dominance" for them not to be exclusive of each other?

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/17/2010 8:30:13 AM

ExSteelAgain

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As MsMillgrove said, in the current edition of the DSM, the DSM-IV-TR, it has been downgraded to the appendix. I believe it's such a vague set of varying symptoms that it's hard to consider those diverse kind of people as having a specific disorder. Some people are simply manipulative and no fun to be around. They willingly act that way.

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RE: Passive Aggression and Dominance - 1/17/2010 5:35:17 PM

DemonKia

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Hmmmm, okay, so I've read thru & mulled. (& I've been reading other, somewhat related threads over on Fet about red-flags, predatory actions & etc. But, Jeff, yer kinda cute, so I decided to share this here, lol . .. . . )

The thought that keeps pokin' at me is that it's important, for me, to keep the distinction between 'behaviors that people engage in' & 'characterizing people by a given behavior'. It's a kinda all-or-nothing thinking that bugs me, cuz people are generally more complicated & nuanced than one pervasive behavioral label indicates.

So, for an example relevant to this thread, 'passive-aggressiveness'. This can be both a behavior that someone engages in, in the moment. A spot indicator, so to speak. & this can be a label applied to a person in general: s/he is passive-aggressive.

I find the former more useful. Identifying behaviors that I can change, being able to see them spontaneously in myself when I go looking, is pre-requisite for doin' somethin' 'bout the matter. But someone labeling me 'passive-aggressive' as an all encompassing condition of who & what I am, well, that seems a terminal position from which there is no (or damn little) possibility of remove.

& this is all complicated by the fact that some 'passive-aggressive' behavior is 'socially accepted', even 'socially obligatory'. A lot of white lying stuff ends up having at least a smidge o' passive-aggressiveness, in part because, frankly, there's a lot of generalized hostility, mistrust, fear, anxiety, loathing, depression, & etc, much of it undealt with, untreated, & etc, out there in the 'general population'. It's kinda un-American (above & beyond plain old 'human resistance') to be into psychology stuff or havin' unpleasant, uncomfortable, et al, feelings, a nasty little (hidden, undiscussed, over-looked & ignored) paradox of our great & glorious culture. But that's jus' my opinion, of course.

Anyways, to me, it's more a portionality thing. Once in a while, I expect a little misbehavior out of the ~98% who're not particularly 'saintly'. But, yeah, if I see a pattern of behavior emerging, my hackles are up. I'm into pattern detection, big time, & especially with people. & relationships. & social interaction. Caring shows up in patterns, & so too indifference. Or hostility. & since most people are a complicated & frequently muted array of most of the basic human-emotion set, figuring out the predominant themes is some work . . . . .

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