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ORIGINAL: angelic

cheating is cheating and there are a billion ways to justify it to ourselves to make us feel it's all ok.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists 

mmmmmmm like more men than you know what to do with?  *G*

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am going to add something here, mainly because of the topic of this thread, and the way the other thread took a turn towards this. When I first married my late husband, I had no idea what BDSM was, or what it entailed. I went into my relationship with him, making all the 'normal' vows that one makes when they marry. At the time of our marriage, he had already been living the lifestyle for many years, but no, it was never brought up with me in any respect. I learned of this through time, and through listening to him express certain desires, wants, and needs to me. I eventually became so curious about what he was describing, that I began to read everything I could, and asked him to help me understand it. One thing though, is that, at the beginning of our marriage, never was it ever brought up about bringing others in, or about him or I having a relationship with another. So yes, I went into my marriage believing that we would have a happy ever after monagamous relationship. Within 3 years of our marriage, things had changed drastically between us. No longer were we equals; he was Master, I was slave. It was not an easy transition for me, despite my curiosity over it, but it is one that I went into with my eyes open, and accepted. It eventually evolved to the point that what he decided, was what happened. No if's, and's, or questions about it. I was able to voice any concerns I had over changes, but in the end, it was his decision. And that included the choice to have other relationships. Never, not once during our marriage, did I EVER feel that he cheated on me, or lied to me, or deceived me in any way. If he brought someone home for the weekend, or the night; it was his decision to make, and one that I welcomed because it made HIM happy. And that, made me happy.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

I am going to add something here, mainly because of the topic of this thread, and the way the other thread took a turn towards this. When I first married my late husband, I had no idea what BDSM was, or what it entailed. I went into my relationship with him, making all the 'normal' vows that one makes when they marry. At the time of our marriage, he had already been living the lifestyle for many years, but no, it was never brought up with me in any respect. I learned of this through time, and through listening to him express certain desires, wants, and needs to me. I eventually became so curious about what he was describing, that I began to read everything I could, and asked him to help me understand it. One thing though, is that, at the beginning of our marriage, never was it ever brought up about bringing others in, or about him or I having a relationship with another. So yes, I went into my marriage believing that we would have a happy ever after monagamous relationship. Within 3 years of our marriage, things had changed drastically between us. No longer were we equals; he was Master, I was slave. It was not an easy transition for me, despite my curiosity over it, but it is one that I went into with my eyes open, and accepted. It eventually evolved to the point that what he decided, was what happened. No if's, and's, or questions about it. I was able to voice any concerns I had over changes, but in the end, it was his decision. And that included the choice to have other relationships. Never, not once during our marriage, did I EVER feel that he cheated on me, or lied to me, or deceived me in any way. If he brought someone home for the weekend, or the night; it was his decision to make, and one that I welcomed because it made HIM happy. And that, made me happy.

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ORIGINAL: angelic
...In a M/s relationship does the Master/Dom/me EVER cheat? 

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Or is it simply He/She is Master/Dom/me and His/Her submissive/slave has to bury any misgivings about it? 

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Is it not cheating, simply because He/She went to their spouse/significant other and told them they were searching for others?   Or, is it only cheating when He/She does it behind another's back? 

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How do Yyou define cheating?

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ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

I believe people will always have differing views of what is considered cheating and what is not. It only matters to the one(s) we're in a relationship with though. Some people don't want to know who their S/O is sleeping with. Some actually say "Don't bring home a disease and we'll be alright" and leave it at that.

My S/O wants to at least meet the woman before I give her a "ride" around the block. For her, it's not cheating since she at leasts knows what's going on.

For my slave there is no need to know. There is no it's cheating if it this, it's cheating if it's that. She is a slave, therefore my relationship with her is not a "dating/married to" type of relationship. We don't have a romantic relationship. Do I have to tell her? No and she knows and excepts this. Do I tell her? Not always.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

Angelic, I was not trying to garner sympathy, but rather to show that in any relationship, people change through time. Our desires, our wants, our needs, are constantly changing ( no matter what label you put on yourself ). They may be huge changes that smack you in the face, or they may be small changes that are not noticed; but it happens with everyone. 

The old saying of 'never say never' is actually very good advice. What you may find abhorent now, in 10 years you may find to be extremely beautiful and fullfilling. But by closing your mind to the POSSIBLITY of change, you are destroying the chance for growth. Just something to think about.

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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

The old saying of 'never say never' is actually very good advice. What you may find abhorent now, in 10 years you may find to be extremely beautiful and fullfilling. But by closing your mind to the POSSIBLITY of change, you are destroying the chance for growth. Just something to think about.