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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 8:12:19 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When looking I put "hard limits" and "must haves" on that list... it saved time because if someone was into X, Y, or Z... or they were not sadistic at all.... well then I saw no point in communicating..

I know a lot of people are more open to change than me...lol

I put some love-to-haves and some hate-to-haves on there, but most of my profile checklist consisted (probably still does as I don't think I've changed that) of things having nothing to do with sex or play - music, interests, that sort of thing.

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RE: what advice would the doms give - 1/16/2010 8:15:44 AM

wandersalone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

ok dominants what advice would you give submissives about how they present themselves in their profiles both pictorially and text wise?

other than nude, legs spread

osf, you coming over to our side now?...

can't

stop

laughing

and this hasn't helped either damnit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorSeven

Actually that picture would be pulled if it was a primary photo. It is against the TOS to have a primary photo of a taco or a burrito, FYI.

My feeling is that the things being written here could be applied to D types as well.

Be yourself

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 8:17:54 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

When looking I put "hard limits" and "must haves" on that list... it saved time because if someone was into X, Y, or Z... or they were not sadistic at all.... well then I saw no point in communicating..

I know a lot of people are more open to change than me...lol

I put some love-to-haves and some hate-to-haves on there, but most of my profile checklist consisted (probably still does as I don't think I've changed that) of things having nothing to do with sex or play - music, interests, that sort of thing.

Mine too... I have noticed something.... there are a lot of people "curious" about bird watching

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 8:32:19 AM

NuevaVida

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LOL really? That's kinda cute. I had to check my profile. Nope, bird watching isn't on it.

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 9:30:28 AM

heartcream

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Bird watching gets a bad rap. Think about it though, are birds interesting? To me, yeah, so cute and fascinating. Would I like to watch the cute things flit about? Yes, they are cute and fascinating.

Will I wear bad khaki fashion and binoculars and go out with a field guide to identify the species local to my area? Nope. If someone took me I might dig it though. I would love to watch Great Blue Herons more often

The other day a giant hawk bashed into my bedroom window on the first floor. There is a nice huge wild cedar bush now taking up half my window and I can see the sparrows mostly, flitting about in the branches. This giant hawk, have no idea what it was doing bashed into my window in the bush and I saw it, giant bird, and then flew away. Do they eat sparrows?

Cute red cardinals, nut hatches, wrens, robins and all sorts of pretty precious things come to eat the bird food.

I dont have a list of sexual preferences in my profile because for me that is tmi for total strangers. It is not something I am going to discuss with a complete stranger or someone I am not interested in.

I have found those lists helpful if say, a man contacts me, sends me a pic and then I gander at his profile and see he is into poly or he is bi or something I am not interested in. It is helpful to have that all filled out but Ima not gon do it.

You can tell also from non-sex related interests. If he is into Ren faires, well, not my bag. Or country music. Some country music is good but not a real interest of mine. If he has R&B is a hard limit we would not get along.

I love when they qualify each one too.

I get to laughing when they are Expert at let's say, Walking.

Oh my a Walking Expert, how grand, teach me a step?

Then there is the like, Computer Expert, Carpenter Expert, Investment Expert. These sorts I wish I had as my own so I could glean their expertness for my own benefit.

The picture is important. I loathe the ones that look like they are in the throes of masturbatory bliss, ew. No head just their shlong. Or the picture is taken, they look all right but the background is showing the wood paneling, the dirty laundry piles, the ugly furniture and the like.

Or the tops of thier head is cut off in all the shots or they are wearing a hat in all the shots. I think, "Bald much? Trying to hide it much?"

Bad spelling is a giveaway.

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 9:44:26 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I get to laughing when they are Expert at let's say, Walking.

Actually there are ways to be a walking expert. I have taken fitness walking classes, and to speed walk, check heart rate, and to make sure your form won't pull a muscle and how to properly stretch does take some expertise... not rocket science mind you, but it ain't strolling either

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 1/16/2010 9:45:47 AM >

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 9:48:11 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I get to laughing when they are Expert at let's say, Walking.

Actually there are ways to be a walking expert. I have taken fitness walking classes, and to speed walk, check heart rate, and to make sure your form won't pull a muscle and how to properly stretch does take come expertise... not rocket science mind you, but it ain't strolling either

I think this is a good argument for not putting up a lot of interests. It's really easy to be misunderstood. For example, I love New Age music, but Yanni makes me puke. Well, 99% of people are going to think "Yanni" if I say I love New Age. So I post music I enjoy on my profile. People might not like it, but at least they are disliking music I like, instead of disliking music I hate and thinking I like it.

Specific is good. Less room for misinterpretation.

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 10:03:08 AM

MasterAramis

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quote:

they look all right but the background is showing the wood paneling, the dirty laundry piles, the ugly furniture and the like.

OMG, this is so true! Thanks for pointing it out, but I kind of like seeing this. It gives me a "tell" to move on and not waste my time. While it would be up to a Master to "train" a prospective slave in the way that he enjoys things done, I would rather try to get those that have a good understanding of order and cleanliness rather than having to spend a bunch of time on such things!

Thanks for bringing this one out!

Aramis

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 10:56:44 AM

heartcream

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Actually there are ways to be a walking expert. I have taken fitness walking classes, and to speed walk, check heart rate, and to make sure your form won't pull a muscle and how to properly stretch does take some expertise... not rocket science mind you, but it ain't strolling either

That is funny you mention it because I was off having a wee workout with my pilates ball. I have devised how to speed walk while sitting on my ball. If I push down as I lift off I am using my butt muscles. I can still hold my core and swing my arms very enthusiastically to get a workout there, moving right arm with left leg getting some nice obliqueness and the balancing of the brain by crossing over.

I love walking, have done it for exercise at night (so I feel less nuts motoring along). I have a whole thing I do with the ipod on.

There are skills to learn to improve get the most out of the simple art of walking for health. I used to run but after time I found it grueling on my knees and really focusing on utilizing the body full-on whilst walking is a perfect workout for me without the impact on my body.

Thanks for pointing this out juliana

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/16/2010 11:12:02 AM

juliaoceania

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I can't jog because of soft cartilage problems... so walking is perfect for me

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/17/2010 3:13:40 PM

PainXformation

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The answer here is simple, but often overlooked.
You will attract what you bait. If you don't want the sharks, then you don't want to go diving with bloody chum. When you post a picture of overt "sexiness" (nude or not), you're going to attract the ones looking for the most fundamental forms of sexual lust.... the sharks.
I support what both Orion and Master Fire said.
It always amuses me to see these younger women all posing the same way, with a pretentious "sexy" posturing, bikinis or nude, etc, puckering lips and high camera angles... all in hopes to be "attractive", and then they complain when they get flooded with crude emails from the hoards of ravenous vapid creatures. A huge hint to those girls: REMOVE the provocative pics, and you'll strip away the sharks.. better yet, remove the pics altogether and you might attract those who actually can read a profile (i know, a rarity!). True, by doing this you dramatically decrease the amount of "validations", (is that a bad thing?), but mostly, you weed out all the "bottomfeeder boyz" who are seeking first: 1) any attractive body, then hopefully 2) a submissive personality to go along with it. When the criteria is backwards like that, the chances of a successful relationship are near zero.

Just my opinion :)

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/17/2010 3:34:39 PM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
ok dominants what advice would you give submissives about how they present themselves in their profiles both pictorially and text wise?

Pictorially, if you cannot post a picture of your face skip the cleavage/ass/whatever shot. Maybe something else that is meaningful to you and says something about you. A photo that you took yourself that you really like would be better. When you send along a picture of yourself to someone you are corresponding with make sure the picture is current and well lit and properly focused. Nothing can kill the moment quicker than if you meet someone for coffee and they cannot identify you from the pics you sent.

Text wise I think the best approach after being honest is maybe to be balanced. The thing that strikes me most often when I do read a profile is the number of them that are composed entirely of all of things you don't want or won't do. Mix it up a little bit. Tell a bit about what you are looking for in a prospective partner but also tell a bit about what you offer as a prospective partner to someone else. Balance.

Skip the poetry and song lyrics unless perhaps you wrote them yourself. What Stevie Nicks was thinking about back in 1977 may be terribly relevant to you but chances are it won't mean much to someone reading your profile.

I don't think there's a "one size fits all" approach to composing a profile but I feel these suggestions would apply to a fairly wide group of people.

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RE: what advice would the doms give subs about profiles - 1/18/2010 8:43:58 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus
What Stevie Nicks was thinking about back in 1977 may be terribly relevant to you but chances are it won't mean much to someone reading your profile.

Agreeing there is no "one-size-fits-all", and recognizing you said "chances are", I wanted to pipe in that my Owner did have song lyrics on his journal and they actually caught my attention as something very cool. One of the first things we connected on was the importance of music in our lives, and that we liked much of the same artists. The song he had lyrics to is now actually my ring-tone for him.

Then again, I'm a lyric-junky so what he posted told me a bit about where he was coming from.

Not debating with you here, just offering a different perspective to this.

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