transition from sub to slave

transition from sub to slave (Full Version)

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masterlink65 -> transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 8:41:15 AM)
have any of you experienced a "wow what difference" with meeting with a potential master for potential collar, as compared to meeting with a dom for play or part time scenes? if so has this changed your outlook on the lifestyle, in regards to your place in it, and where you want to be in it. i ask this because i had a potential slave visit from NM and he has mentioned his entire outlook on being used by a dom as compared to wanting to be owned by a master, has changed completely. he has no desire to play now without being owned now. i was wondering if others have experienced this or if it has had a different affect/effect on a sub.

juliaoceania -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 8:53:31 AM)
So there is no in between... like meeting a dominant that you are involved with as opposed to someone who believes in slavery? I had a Daddy Dom, and when I compare what he gave me with having a collar or being "owned"... no thanks. I am just not slave material... BTW, not all submissives are play toys only in it for a scene or sex. Not even all bottoms are in it for that. Some of us only play in long term relationships... I am one of those s-types.

masterlink65 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:04:14 AM)
the question is what the question is. simple as that. and what is in between is the same as grayscale of what is in between black and white. maybe if the question was about the slave to sub transition this question may have applied to your situation more.

juliaoceania -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:07:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterlink65 the question is what the question is. simple as that. and what is in between is the same as grayscale of what is in between black and white. maybe if the question was about the slave to sub transition this question may have applied to your situation more. No, it wouldn't have You asked a question that does not apply to most submissives that I see posting here... Many that call themselves submissive are in long term relationships, consider themselves owned and collared. Often they live with their dominants. I am sure there are some submissives that consider themselves only scening and playing... but my money is that most do not.

stef -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:10:04 AM)
I'm sure this will ruffle some people's tender sensibilities, but since there is no such thing as a voluntary slave, it's a meaningless question. ~stef

juliaoceania -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:12:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef I'm sure this will ruffle some people's tender sensibilities, but since there is no such thing as a voluntary slave, it's a meaningless question. ~stef I am so ruffled[:D]

peppermint -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:26:10 AM)
I'm not sure why you think a Dominant/submissive relationship is only for play or part time scenes. Are you somehow trying to infer that a Master/slave relationship is MORE or BETTER, or TRUER, or MORE COMPLETE??? I am a collared submissive who lives 24/7 with her Dominant. Our dynamic is full time as in it's always present in everything we do. I have never wanted to transition to being a slave. I am a submissive. Why would I wish to be something I am not? I do not believe that a submissive transitions to some truer, more submissive type called a slave. As for the potential partner who visited you, of course it is going to feel different for him. He has been playing casually. Now he has the potential to have a regular partner, someone who will take ownership and potentially live together. That is a LOT different from meeting someone for an hour or two of play. He's going from play time to a relationship. As far as I am concerned it has nothing to do with the difference between a slave and a submissive.

mc1234 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:49:55 AM)
quote: As for the potential partner who visited you, of course it is going to feel different for him. He has been playing casually. Now he has the potential to have a regular partner, someone who will take ownership and potentially live together. That is a LOT different from meeting someone for an hour or two of play. He's going from play time to a relationship. As far as I am concerned it has nothing to do with the difference between a slave and a submissive. I agree with the above. OP, I believe your potential slave experienced the difference between play and a relationship, not submissive to slave.

lally2 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:55:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterlink65 have any of you experienced a "wow what difference" with meeting with a potential master for potential collar, as compared to meeting with a dom for play or part time scenes? if so has this changed your outlook on the lifestyle, in regards to your place in it, and where you want to be in it. i ask this because i had a potential slave visit from NM and he has mentioned his entire outlook on being used by a dom as compared to wanting to be owned by a master, has changed completely. he has no desire to play now without being owned now. i was wondering if others have experienced this or if it has had a different affect/effect on a sub. yes. up until meeting my ex Sir i beleived wholeheartedly that i was submissive but not slave material. with him all of that turned about face like instantly. he had me responding to him on a level that had never been asked of me before. his control of me came so easily and naturally that it pushed all of the buried slave buttons i never knew existed. he controlled me in a way that made all the stuff about wanting to please, relent, give in simmer away softly and happily. it was effortless and wonderful. before then the dominants id met were all about me 'performing' at certain times and then dipping back into vanilla the rest of the time. so i understand youre mention about being 'used' by a dom. that was often how it felt. in the Ms relationship i was in the dynamic was continual, his control was consistant but never over bearing and when BDSM happened it was just something we did, not something that was done because there was nothing on tv.

masterlink65 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:57:53 AM)
i am not inferring anything. i am simply asking if anyone else has experienced this. if so, how? it is not unheard of. and this question would apply (from my intentions) to you as well. having found your dom who collared you. was it like "wow, i fucking get it now", or some such moment of clarity? trying to avoid arguing, and trying to gain info

juliaoceania -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 9:59:33 AM)
quote: yes. up until meeting my ex Sir i beleived wholeheartedly that i was submissive but not slave material. with him all of that turned about face like instantly. he had me responding to him on a level that had never been asked of me before. his control of me came so easily and naturally that it pushed all of the buried slave buttons i never knew existed. he controlled me in a way that made all the stuff about wanting to please, relent, give in simmer away softly and happily. it was effortless and wonderful. before then the dominants id met were all about me 'performing' at certain times and then dipping back into vanilla the rest of the time. so i understand youre mention about being 'used' by a dom. that was often how it felt. in the Ms relationship i was in the dynamic was continual, his control was consistant but never over bearing and when BDSM happened it was just something we did, not something that was done because there was nothing on tv. So that happened for you with the label "slave" attached.... some people find the same thing in D/s... just a different label they used along the way. Are you saying that if you called the relationship anything other than M/s it wouldn't have been the same?

masterlink65 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:01:00 AM)
thank you for that input. that is great how that happened for you.

lally2 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:10:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: yes. up until meeting my ex Sir i beleived wholeheartedly that i was submissive but not slave material. with him all of that turned about face like instantly. he had me responding to him on a level that had never been asked of me before. his control of me came so easily and naturally that it pushed all of the buried slave buttons i never knew existed. he controlled me in a way that made all the stuff about wanting to please, relent, give in simmer away softly and happily. it was effortless and wonderful. before then the dominants id met were all about me 'performing' at certain times and then dipping back into vanilla the rest of the time. so i understand youre mention about being 'used' by a dom. that was often how it felt. in the Ms relationship i was in the dynamic was continual, his control was consistant but never over bearing and when BDSM happened it was just something we did, not something that was done because there was nothing on tv. So that happened for you with the label "slave" attached.... some people find the same thing in D/s... just a different label they used along the way. Are you saying that if you called the relationship anything other than M/s it wouldn't have been the same? hi [:)] i dont think the label has anything much to do with it. the relationship would have been the same if we'd called it Ds but it wasnt like any Ds ive ever experienced. but maybe, semantically, the knowledge that he was my Master had a deeper meaning to me. at the time it separated itself from previous relationships where the level of dominance was not the same. but, i think also, it had a lot to do with personalities too. his personality was such that he drew a deeper committment from me as a submissive than anyone else had done and that might just have been down to the fact that we clicked everywhere. i know what youre saying and i completely understand what youre saying, but my experience of transitioning from submissive to slave was as the OP is trying to explore, very much a sudden 'OMG!' moment, when everything clicked, everything worked and i was the happiest id ever been. i told him from the start that i didnt think i was a slave, he disagreed and then promplty proved it to me. it was a sudden drop off from where i was to something else completely.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:12:38 AM)
I have met people who I thought, ohh relationship potential rather than ohh they would be fun to hang around with yeah sure, lots actually. However as my first time out in BDSM was in a relationship with someone I didnt go from play to relationship so there was no wow moment I find the transition from sub to slave to be really easy, one dominant type called me a sub then a different one called me a slave then a different one a sub, to be honest I transitioned through what they called me with no problems whatsoever.

RCdc -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:13:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterlink65 and this question would apply (from my intentions) to you as well. having found your dom who collared you. was it like "wow, i fucking get it now", or some such moment of clarity? trying to avoid arguing, and trying to gain info I would not describe it as being 'getting it now' because I knew the potential of such deep submission, rather more a self epiphany on how I was and how far I was away from the potential I could be. the.dark.

juliaoceania -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:16:46 AM)
Thank you for sharing, lally2

osf -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:46:04 AM)
i just think one develops more of an understanding of what they have always been

Rule -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 10:52:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterlink65 have any of you experienced a "wow what difference" with meeting with a potential master for potential collar, as compared to meeting with a dom for play or part time scenes? if so has this changed your outlook on the lifestyle, in regards to your place in it, and where you want to be in it. i ask this because i had a potential slave visit from NM and he has mentioned his entire outlook on being used by a dom as compared to wanting to be owned by a master, has changed completely. he has no desire to play now without being owned now. i was wondering if others have experienced this or if it has had a different affect/effect on a sub. I have no idea what you are talking about. Anyway: subs cannot transition into a slave, nor vice versa. Neither can elephants become peacocks, nor vice versa. However, it does is possible to use lipstick to color the noses of both subs and slaves red or pink or whatever; it even is possible to have a dominant paint his nose the same color as well. Who would have guessed!

LillyoftheVally -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 11:15:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule Anyway: subs cannot transition into a slave, nor vice versa. Neither can elephants become peacocks, nor vice versa. Which has the feathers, sub or slave?

mc1234 -> RE: transition from sub to slave (1/15/2010 11:23:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: masterlink65 i am not inferring anything. i am simply asking if anyone else has experienced this. if so, how? it is not unheard of. and this question would apply (from my intentions) to you as well. having found your dom who collared you. was it like "wow, i fucking get it now", or some such moment of clarity? trying to avoid arguing, and trying to gain info When I started exploring D/s and BDSM, I knew I needed to be it to be relationship-based. Nothing about the public scene interested me, nor was I interested in scening or having a play relationship with someone or even several someones. And I knew I identified more towards slave than submissive. I'd had one committed D/s relationship (lasted about seven months) and had a handful of 'let's explore' type dating experiences with other doms and spoken with many more before I met E. Now, with E, I have had several 'ah-ha' moments of clarity which showed me that yes, this is how I knew it could be - it was a matter of finding the right person. Our first time together we clicked in a very powerful way, and I just knew I needed to be his.

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