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Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 4:38:28 PM   
walkonme10


Posts: 64
Joined: 9/20/2009
Status: offline 		Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night?
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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 4:59:38 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline 		Oh god, are we back to Stupid Question of the Day again?

~stef


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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 5:35:21 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Let me take a stab at this.

A munch should be a vanilla gathering of kinksters.  If a Mistress invites others to play with her slave, she's violating etiquette.  If she has her slave serve drinks to others, etc., she should be all right.

If she takes him to a club, then anyone who wishes to use him should contact his Mistress first.  If the Mistress wants another to use him, then he gets used.


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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 6:29:13 PM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		A munch is usually held in a restaurant or some other very public place.  Do you really think families wish to be exposed to some guy, naked or dressed, crawling around on the floor and licking shoes or any other similar activities?  The restaurant would kick the munch group out and tell them to never return. 

A club is something different.  A Mistress may or may not allow others to use slave.

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 6:34:22 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

Oh god, are we back to Stupid Question of the Day again?

~stef


Aww stef. Come on, be generous and help a newbie ;-)

- LA

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 6:43:36 PM   
KITTYLECTRO


Posts: 261
Joined: 10/26/2009
Status: offline 		I love the Weekend At Bernie's-esque thread title.


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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 8:28:07 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: walkonme10

Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night?


Yes.

Next thread, please.


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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/18/2010 9:47:54 PM   
SthrnCom4t


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/9/2007
Status: offline 		I would say it depends on what the Mistress and the slave have negotiated.  Whether we are in public or private, my boy is always attentive to me. Just because he is 'serving' doesn't mean his behavior is inappropriate for public viewing. He holds doors and chairs, takes my coat and helps me put it on when it's time to leave. Many times I'll tell him what I'd like to order, and he'll place the order when the waitress makes it to the table, as I am often talking to someone sitting next to us.

Do I have an expectation he will be 'used' by other Mistresses? Absolutely not! He's MY submissive/slave, and no one else's. To anyone else, he's equal, unless we've had a prior discussion.

There have been times when we were at private functions, where the etiquette was known beforehand, that all submissives would provide 'basic' service (offering drink refills, clearing dishes, not sitting on the couch, etc) to all Dominants.

Most D/s couples I know are very *protective* of their dynamic, and as a Femdom, I would not want to make someone else uncomfortable. (unless the relevant parties had negotiated limits and boundaries ahead of time).

Power exchange is just that....exchange. Both parties choose to partake. If you are unclear what is expected of you, ask. Asking in a respectful manner should never be inappropriate.

My two cents,



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'The sign of a developed mind is one in which two opposing ideas can coexist' - Oscar Wilde.

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/19/2010 4:20:13 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SthrnCom4t

I would say it depends on what the Mistress and the slave have negotiated.  Whether we are in public or private, my boy is always attentive to me. Just because he is 'serving' doesn't mean his behavior is inappropriate for public viewing. He holds doors and chairs, takes my coat and helps me put it on when it's time to leave. Many times I'll tell him what I'd like to order, and he'll place the order when the waitress makes it to the table, as I am often talking to someone sitting next to us.

Do I have an expectation he will be 'used' by other Mistresses? Absolutely not! He's MY submissive/slave, and no one else's. To anyone else, he's equal, unless we've had a prior discussion.

There have been times when we were at private functions, where the etiquette was known beforehand, that all submissives would provide 'basic' service (offering drink refills, clearing dishes, not sitting on the couch, etc) to all Dominants.

Most D/s couples I know are very *protective* of their dynamic, and as a Femdom, I would not want to make someone else uncomfortable. (unless the relevant parties had negotiated limits and boundaries ahead of time).

Power exchange is just that....exchange. Both parties choose to partake. If you are unclear what is expected of you, ask. Asking in a respectful manner should never be inappropriate.

My two cents,



This is very much My feeling on it as well.  It ties in very well to the other thread that is running right now started by LadyA.  The door opening, drink filling, standard routine within our dynamic is not imposing our kink on anyone at a local munch. 

I don't permit clip to be serving others in any capacity unless it is the order of the day for the event.  Guests in My home are the exception for this.  If it is not the standard that all subs will serve all Dominants, I have no qualms in telling someone that the collar on clip's neck isn't there because it's a fashion statement (yes, I've done that in public settings).  In turn, I do not expect other Dominant's submissives to serve Me.  If their Dominant offers their services to Me, I will graciously accept.

Sorry it wasn't the wank fodder that the OP was obviously looking for.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/19/2010 4:24:28 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: walkonme10

Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night?


Some mistresses will. Others won't. If you want to be shared, find a mistress who is into that.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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(in reply to walkonme10)
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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/19/2010 9:45:23 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		It is best to talk with your Mistress in advance.  As a rule it is always good to be respectful of other Dominants but that does not necessarily mean serving them in any way. 

I have also found that at the different munches I have attended that different styles of address were preferred.  At some there was higher etiquette, and if a submissive was introduced to a Dominant they would then address them as Sir or Ma'am and typically speak only after being spoken to.  In others the talk was freeflowing and no titles were used.  Again, this should be discussed in advance with your Mistress. 

No one has the right to touch you unless given specific permission by your Mistress.  That has happened at some munches where an overly exuberant Dom has embraced or fondled someone new.  In some cases they mean no harm yet it can be very disconcerting, especially to a new attender.  Ask your Mistress how to handle it if someone touches you inappropriately.  Chances are that she will have you report the act directly to her and she will handle it. 


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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/19/2010 1:32:46 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Let me take a stab at this.

A munch should be a vanilla gathering of kinksters.  If a Mistress invites others to play with her slave, she's violating etiquette.  If she has her slave serve drinks to others, etc., she should be all right.

If she takes him to a club, then anyone who wishes to use him should contact his Mistress first.  If the Mistress wants another to use him, then he gets used.



Exactly. A Munch is a public event designed to let kinky folks meet and chat without the expectations of playing or being in scene unless that is a private between two people.

When my submissives or slaves have attended munches with me, they may pay more attention to me but they are there to socialize as an equal with everyone else.

Call me old-fashioned but I don't like the "munches" that include play time or expectations of scene time in them. I think they should stay as their were first made -- vanilla get togethers -- and other events like workshops, discussion groups, and play parties should be were any kink happens.

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/19/2010 2:31:13 PM   
everglade


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		Heck, my owner had me serving her co workers (women) at the company Christmas party. The cash bar was in a smoke infested area in a whole different building her coworkers where complaining about it. (as was I) My wife said no problem, my husband will be happy to get your drinks. And so it was. Funny how such mundane chores or tasks can be energized by a good Domme. And her coworkers loved the whole thing too.

I've seen subs at munches do similar server type things but, nothing will happen there that will be over your personal limits.

Go and enjoy!

(in reply to thetammyjo)
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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 11:07:37 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: walkonme10

Does a Mistress who takes her slave to a munch or club let other Mistresses use her slave at all during the night?


...yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses. 

Do u want to go to munches so u can get used by multiples? Do u like the general public seeing u being used??


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...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 3:29:05 PM   
everglade


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline 		<yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses.>

Wow, not at any of the 25 or so assorted munches I've been too! Now, maybe if he really wanted to pay for a certain Mistress's check he might ask if that's okay with her but, only if he wants. Really, munches are totally vanilla it's a friendly way to meet like minded folks. Don't be surprised that the subject of kink might not even come up at one. Don't be intimidated. Just be yourself and meet others in real life, it's fine.

Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions!

(in reply to MsDDom)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 5:49:33 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		This guy is new, but not really NEW..."We know our chicken."

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 5:55:12 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions!

Welcome to the forums, Everglade! 
When you see a "newbie" or other person getting snarked at, it is often because they have said something fairly offensive in another thread. A check of the posting history might clear things up for you, if the posts weren't pulled by the mods.

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 6:09:20 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		On Niteflirt, when a gentleman sends me such a question I just tell him, "call Me and we'll talk about it." If he insists on details, I assume he wants a free wank and send him his answer. (in a pay per view email...)

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A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

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RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 7:00:13 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everglade
Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions!

If it were a newbie question, rather than a wanker question, that might be the case.  When an OP is trying to get fantasy fodder, we're not quite as receptive.

(Several of us here can also copy/paste the rude, nasty, and plain unacceptable emails this particular OP has sent some of the Dominant women here.  Both on this screen name and his prior one.)


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Slave at Munchies - 1/20/2010 9:11:26 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: everglade

<yes, he get the food, drinks, and then pays all the checks of the Mistresses.>

Wow, not at any of the 25 or so assorted munches I've been too! Now, maybe if he really wanted to pay for a certain Mistress's check he might ask if that's okay with her but, only if he wants. Really, munches are totally vanilla it's a friendly way to meet like minded folks. Don't be surprised that the subject of kink might not even come up at one. Don't be intimidated. Just be yourself and meet others in real life, it's fine.

Thinking the community would be a lot bigger with more friendly promoters and less sarcasicm directed at newbie questions!


...over thine head...

...there are some who don't ask questions for the sake of "being new". As most have posted that munches are vanilla, there as SOME people who go to munches with THEIR OWN agenda (i.e. the hope of being used by other Mistresses). That is why some groups are closed.

...so, toast to ur "25 or so assorted munches" and be glad ur group(s) haven't be outed (or banned) b/c of some numskull w/ their bdsm fantasy in a public/vanilla place.



_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

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Profile   Post #: 20
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