LadyPact
Posts: 32566
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I know that VC addressed a lot of your comments, but I thought I might add just a bit to explain some of My perspective.
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ORIGINAL: shallowdeep
Sniping aside, I find this thread interesting. A few assorted thoughts:
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ORIGINAL: AAkasha
I see most of the femdoms agreeing with me (this is because my experiences are similar to theirs) and a few dominant men protesting (then again, what do they know about what it is like to be a dominant woman ...really?)
The missing component in the above mix is input from the subs who ostensibly benefit from the pointing out of absurdities. I've spent a reasonable amount of time lurking here. My observations have doubtlessly helped make my limited interactions with dominant women into the positive experiences they have been. I appreciate the insight I've gained and the women (and men) who have taken the time to share their experience. The thing is, I can't say I glean much of anything from a "No, not interested" comment; I think you may be underestimating the capacity of interested subs to interpret silence.
It's possible I'm just an exception, but the claim that explicitly pointing out absurdities is somehow necessary for someone like me to recognize them just doesn't ring true with my own experience. I don't mean to offend, but the notion that some women agreeing (and not unanimously) that something must be beneficial for subs isn't particularly more compelling proof than a couple of male dominants asserting that the dominant women are overreacting. I'm open to ceding the point, but I have yet to see evidence for the supposed educational value of a "not interested" or snarky comment to be presented in this thread. Are there any subs who do feel like this sort of reply has been more useful to them, personally, than silence would have been? I'm honestly curious. Alternatively, would any women care to share what has lead them to believe this? This isn't a challenge, I simply want to understand where you are coming from.
I actually have two comments on this. The first is that, from your comment, I think you are, mistakenly, assuming the primary function of this board, is for the benefit of sub males. Many of us do not see it that way. I'm here for a multitude of reasons, but the majority of them really do have to do with Me. If I come across something here that I can contribute a response that actually helps someone, great. However, it's not My primary purpose.
With that in mind, My second comment is, believe it or not, putting a comment out there on a subject that I am not interested in, actually drops the drive by mail ratio. Often, what happens when someone new comes around here and starts posting the types of threads that we're discussing here, they will start jumping around the other threads and find the Dommes that post frequently. At that point, they will start mass emailing all of us, often with a repeat of what they asked in the thread they created. The 'head them off at the pass' technique works in this area.
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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I also wouldn't sit quietly by and say nothing if someone walked into My house and took a dump on the floor.
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Unlike the male equivalent board, this is a constant breeding ground for [lame posts]. This is one of those areas where the female Dominants are expected to put up with a behavior that is not one tolerated by the males. Quite frankly, if the Dominant boards were one, rather than split by gender, it would be My opinion that it would happen a lot less frequently.
Your investment in this board is admirable, and your offense entirely understandable. For what it's worth, I appreciate the efforts you and others have been making recently to attempt to effect some positive changes here. I'm not sure I agree with the idea in the second quote, though.
I am going to thank you for your comments in this area.
I would like to invite you to do some reading of the other boards, particularly the General and Ask A Master boards. I promise you with certainty that trollish behavior in those areas is shot down and shot down quick. There are absolutely gentlemen around here on both sides of the kneel that will come forward and tell folks that they have no right to objectify any person who doesn't wish to be. Quite frankly, I love those guys and they earn My respect quickly.
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What you seem to be implying is that, if there was less tolerance for lame posts here, there would be fewer of them. Basically, the only thing keeping it from being like other boards is the way it's run. I doubt this. What really causes this board to be a breeding ground for the much bemoaned lame posts? I agree with LadyAngelika that, most likely, "It's a man/woman thing." Whether caused by overexposure to porn, social conditioning (or lack thereof), biology, or something else – there just does seem to be a difference. I think the key point is the root cause of that difference is external to this board. There will always be an influx of new, clueless posters eager to explore the shiny new kink-of-the-day vending machine they just discovered – I would guess they generate the majority of undesirable new threads.
From a realistic perspective, there will never be a way to eliminate lame posts. There will always be someone who stumbles across the site tomorrow who honestly believes we are here to cater to them. Each time I stand up and say that isn't what I'm here for, I make a dent in that vending machine mentality. (Great expression, btw.)
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I honestly don't think there is a response, or lack of one, that will change this. Lockit seems to have noticed this:
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ORIGINAL: Lockit
We have been nice, we have been snarky, we have been informative, we have done nothing. <snipped for brevity>
The truth of the matter is that, even if a good number of us reply negatively to a trollish post, the post doesn't stay at the top of the forum that long. More often than not, we get a good laugh. The creator of such a thread tucks his proverbial tail between his legs, and scampers off until he learns how to conduct himself.
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I'm not claiming to be right, but that's how I see things. If, for the sake of argument, you accept my views, then the issue shifts from deterrence and education to how best to manage the lame posts that do inevitably crop up, and how to ensure they have the least negative impact.
Again, I'm afraid you are making the assumption that we are here with the greatest concern for them, rather than us.
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I think Lockit already identified the three possible approaches:The argument that negative posts keep more unusual kinks from being discussed by those who might be interested has also been raised. Kinks can be a little weird, and it's at least not inconceivable that someone might hold back after seeing women she respects pronounce that they have no interest in X or, worse, that no "real" woman is likely to have an interest. Probably more often that not no one here will have an interest in the topics that get jumped, but refraining from a negative post at least up heads off any accusation that you just prevented the hordes of women the OP KNOWS were about to help him get off from showing up by pissing on his otherwise irresistible thread. It actually strips them of an excuse to avoid recognizing reality.
I don't agree here. Outright telling an OP that we are not interested in catering to their kink does happen to be very effective.
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That's the ideal anyway, but, as SylvereApLeanan pointed out, this approach has its own pitfalls: quote:
ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
Silence can be effective in certain social situations, however, in my experience, it is not especially effective on a message board. What typically happens is that the offensive poster will repeat the same question in multiple threads until someone responds or else he will create a post to whine about why he isn't getting a response.
If the OP bumps their own thread or starts new ones, that defeats the purpose of getting things to die. On the plus side, it does force them to set aside the self-indulgence long enough to at least wonder why the women aren't responding. Maybe that will make it a bit more effective when someone inevitably does give them both barrels…
I agree with Sylvere on this point. The resounding "NO" is absolutely more effective.
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So, what to do?
Again, the same issue. The thing is, we don't have to 'do' anything. What we already are doing works for us, and therefore, there is absolutely no need to change it. Some of us honestly aren't concerned about coddling an OP who is going to come here and act in a boorish manner.
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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I am starting to wonder how effective slamming people is as a style… I wonder if it's really the best option on the table.
I can't really add to this musing; I think my own preference would be the third option, but that may just be a personal style. I'm certainly not trying to muzzle anyone or obligate them to respond in a particular way. Everyone has the right to choose how to respond, and there may not be a "best" approach for every lame post. I just like knowing that people weigh the pros and cons before they decide how to react.
I think you'll find that is what many of the ladies have said here. In all honestly, it's what some of the dissenters have said as well. We will continue to post how we chose.
The end of it really comes down to when what I post, how I post, and what I post ceases to work, for Me, I may consider changing it. If that happens, I'll let you know.
< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/27/2010 8:03:34 AM >
_____________________________
The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT
Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD
Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.
Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread
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RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 
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