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ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

No offense LA, but it seems like every time I post on these forums, I get a rash of emails from men who wish to be masculinized...

They cry, they scream, they implore...Solange, butch me up!

Just teasing a little LA....

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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Excellent points Akasha. I don't think many are cognizant of what Dommes go through.

Holy crap, they must never read anything on CM. That's what 90% of all the posts are about.

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I think this begs the question of why should we feel obligated to to a "better job" or to bother to civilly address a post that is clearly out of touch with reality and/or based in a trollish desire for us to supply material for some random schmuck's masturbatory fantasies.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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Because it gives men - who may be falsely led by fantasy - a real idea of what the tolerance/passion level is by his target audience. How else is he going to know if his fetish is one that is going to be realistically embraced by women he's trying to attract?

That seems a highly arrogant thing to say. Who are any of you to judge a persons kink as unrealistic..Maybe his target audience is a person that enjoys the same kink he does.

It sounds to me like your trying to set yourself up as an authority with a statement like that. That whole OP reeks of it, actually.

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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Excellent points Akasha. I don't think many are cognizant of what Dommes go through.

Holy crap, they must never read anything on CM. That's what 90% of all the posts are about.

Funny... I thought 90% of post were about chastity devices & forced fem. See how our perceptions can cloud reality? ;-)

- LA

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I think her point (correct me if I'm wrong, QueenRah) was that people post in the 'Ask a Mistress' section because they are looking for the opinions of Mistresses. That doesn't at all mean that nobody else is welcome to comment, but it does mean that as QueenRah is a Mistress she is by definition a position of authority in this context-she was responding to a post questioning that.

I don't think she meant to imply that fellas weren't welcome, and I didn't pick up on that vibe when I read her original post.

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With all do respect Icarys, I think there might be something in the inherent dynamic between those who identify as female dominants and male submissives/slaves here that you might not be taking into consideration.

Here is a bit of the reality. Even though a great deal of men claim to be submissive, I -- and several dominant women that I discuss with as well as a few submissive men -- have come to the conclusion that the ones that truly want to be submissive to a woman in the bulk of a dynamic such as in a female-led relationship are rare. The bulk of the men coming her to discuss their fetishes are often in fantasy dreamland and they want the payoff but not the commitment of submitting.

There is a certain frustration that we get so many do-me requests. When Akasha or other women express statements like you quoted above, it would be wise not to isolate them but to read them in context.

And I for one am greatful when anyone other than Dominas post here. The only thing I ask is that they try to see things from our perspective. If they can offer an alternate perspective respectfully, than all the better. That is how we grow.

- LA

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

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ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

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Excellent points Akasha. I don't think many are cognizant of what Dommes go through.

Holy crap, they must never read anything on CM. That's what 90% of all the posts are about.

Funny... I thought 90% of post were about chastity devices & forced fem. See how our perceptions can cloud reality? ;-)

- LA

Or does reality cloud perception? I've been told that perception is EVERYTHING (I don't agree, BTW), so is perception reality? And what is reality, anyway? Is this reality I experience just a dream? Am I just a cell plugged into the Matrix? If you prick me, do I bleed? ;)

Kidding aside, it's true, there are a lot of the threads about forced fem or chastity devices. A lot of people are interested in them. However, it seems that a lot of these threads get replies from dommes complaining about the subs who are too focused on their own fetish, and not enough on the domme. Add these to the OPs that are specifically directed at the issues of all the stuff dommes go through because of stupid subs, subs not knowing what dommes want, subs being selfish, and such posts become virtually ubiquitous (at least within the realm of the forums and threads that I read). Whether the OP was about that or not, it eventually gets turned in that direction.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I think her point (correct me if I'm wrong, QueenRah) was that people post in the 'Ask a Mistress' section because they are looking for the opinions of Mistresses. That doesn't at all mean that nobody else is welcome to comment, but it does mean that as QueenRah is a Mistress she is by definition a position of authority in this context-she was responding to a post questioning that.

I don't think she meant to imply that fellas weren't welcome, and I didn't pick up on that vibe when I read her original post.

That is another way of looking at it but she hasn't come back to say one way or another.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "Authority"..Nobody has put anyone in charge nor does anyone have special rights to a truth that the rest do not. It doesn't matter what context a person is in. That word to me means above others or in power in some way or in the know more than others.. Yes she's a dominate but it matters not that she's a female no more than it would matter that I'm a male. I'm sure there are a few exceptions to that rule but everything else to me can be relative to one's own personal views alone and not gender based.

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I think her point (correct me if I'm wrong, QueenRah) was that people post in the 'Ask a Mistress' section because they are looking for the opinions of Mistresses. That doesn't at all mean that nobody else is welcome to comment, but it does mean that as QueenRah is a Mistress she is by definition a position of authority in this context-she was responding to a post questioning that.

I don't think she meant to imply that fellas weren't welcome, and I didn't pick up on that vibe when I read her original post.

That is another way of looking at it but she hasn't come back to say one way or another.

I wouldn't go so far as to say "Authority"..Nobody has put anyone in charge nor does anyone have special rights to a truth that the rest do not. It doesn't matter what context a person is in. That word to me means above others or in power in some way or in the know more than others.. Yes she's a dominate but it matters not that she's a female no more than it would matter that I'm a male. I'm sure there are a few exceptions to that rule but everything else to me can be relative to one's own personal views alone and not gender based.

Nowhere did she say she was 'the' authority; she is 'an' authority. That's why you have a message board, so you can get a range of views from across the spectrum. If all the views are weighted on one side, you may be able to assume a consensus. If there is debate then you assess the arguments and explanations.

Nobody is claiming to be 'the' authority on anything here-I can only tell you what I think, and QueenRah can only do the same. But by posting a question on a board whose title is 'Ask a Mistress' the questioner gives her enough authority to give her opinion by nature of the fact that she is a Mistress.

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Nobody is claiming to be 'the' authority on anything here-I can only tell you what I think, and QueenRah can only do the same. But by posting a question on a board whose title is 'Ask a Mistress' the questioner gives her enough authority to give her opinion by nature of the fact that she is a Mistress.

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ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

"Here's the kicker. They'd have every right to do that. "



Yes, they absolutely would have the right.

People also have the right to fart in public. They should not be surprised though to learn that some find the practice odious.....

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
Nowhere did she say she was 'the' authority; she is 'an' authority. That's why you have a message board, so you can get a range of views from across the spectrum. If all the views are weighted on one side, you may be able to assume a consensus. If there is debate then you assess the arguments and explanations.

Nobody is claiming to be 'the' authority on anything here-I can only tell you what I think, and QueenRah can only do the same. But by posting a question on a board whose title is 'Ask a Mistress' the questioner gives her enough authority to give her opinion by nature of the fact that she is a Mistress.

Actually that was strictly for you..You used the term "of authority".

It still doesn't make her "an authority" in my book and it definitely doesn't mean she is "the authority". You don't give someone authority on boards..Your trying to stretch the definition to fit your needs.

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It sounds to me like your trying to set yourself up as an authority with a statement like that.

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Here is a bit of the reality. Even though a great deal of men claim to be submissive, I -- and several dominant women that I discuss with as well as a few submissive men -- have come to the conclusion that the ones that truly want to be submissive to a woman in the bulk of a dynamic such as in a female-led relationship are rare. The bulk of the men coming her to discuss their fetishes are often in fantasy dreamland and they want the payoff but not the commitment of submitting

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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With all do respect Icarys, I think there might be something in the inherent dynamic between those who identify as female dominants and male submissives/slaves here that you might not be taking into consideration.

Here is a bit of the reality. Even though a great deal of men claim to be submissive, I -- and several dominant women that I discuss with as well as a few submissive men -- have come to the conclusion that the ones that truly want to be submissive to a woman in the bulk of a dynamic such as in a female-led relationship are rare. The bulk of the men coming her to discuss their fetishes are often in fantasy dreamland and they want the payoff but not the commitment of submitting.

There is a certain frustration that we get so many do-me requests. When Akasha or other women express statements like you quoted above, it would be wise not to isolate them but to read them in context.

And I for one am greatful when anyone other than Dominas post here. The only thing I ask is that they try to see things from our perspective. If they can offer an alternate perspective respectfully, than all the better. That is how we grow.

- LA

Do you really think that it's any different in reverse? Femdom/sub/slave.. Dom/sub/slave

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ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

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ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

Nobody is claiming to be 'the' authority on anything here-I can only tell you what I think, and QueenRah can only do the same. But by posting a question on a board whose title is 'Ask a Mistress' the questioner gives her enough authority to give her opinion by nature of the fact that she is a Mistress.

Well she says she is a Mistress, so what? I'm the President. Icky's point holds - authority needs to be demonstrated, not assigned.
 
I saw a claim that this forum in particular should be restricted, and it didn't appear to be tongue in cheek.
 
That alone didn't look to be a very wise opinion, wisdom being something genuine authority tends to possess.

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I used the word 'authority' only because I thought you had used it in your original conversation with Queen Rah. I wouldn't have chosen it personally as a word.