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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

As someone who has lived her life surrounded by military, PLEASE do not try and say that military personnel are more honourable, responsible or dignified. Because that just is not the case.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
As someone who has lived her life surrounded by military, PLEASE do not try and say that military personnel are more honourable, responsible or dignified. Because that just is not the case.

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ORIGINAL:

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If you sift through all of the "we're no different than vanillas" not much is left with regard to Honor, Responsibility and Dignity. Can you really argue with the thesis? Why do you get offended by the suggestion that we might be aligned in some way? Is your Dom without dignity or responsibility? Is that why it offends so much?

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ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

Well, Jeffff, if this thread hurts you and you don't like what is said in it? Then stop reading it.

Am I a romantic sub?  Yes.  As I've been told multiple times, is it right to judge me because of my preferences and style? Am I very supportive of my Master in his thread when people come in and make generalizations about who he is based on a few posts? Yes.  Are not most subs supportive of their Masters?  Does it totally suck to have someone like you basically tell me to shut up when I've made it quite clear that I am new to this lifestyle, I'm seeking to learn, and have been trying to be very open to listening to what others have to say, and adjusting my outlook as needed? Yes.

So if you really have nothing constructive to add?  Please stop making your little barbed comments and accept that not everyone can be as perfect as you seem to think you are.  Thank you.

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ORIGINAL: Jeffff

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ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

Well, Jeffff, if this thread hurts you and you don't like what is said in it? Then stop reading it.

Am I a romantic sub?  Yes.  As I've been told multiple times, is it right to judge me because of my preferences and style? Am I very supportive of my Master in his thread when people come in and make generalizations about who he is based on a few posts? Yes.  Are not most subs supportive of their Masters?  Does it totally suck to have someone like you basically tell me to shut up when I've made it quite clear that I am new to this lifestyle, I'm seeking to learn, and have been trying to be very open to listening to what others have to say, and adjusting my outlook as needed? Yes.

So if you really have nothing constructive to add?  Please stop making your little barbed comments and accept that not everyone can be as perfect as you seem to think you are.  Thank you.

No.

You post on a message board, you get responses. I am not perfect. My posts demonstrate that.

If you can;t take it, don't bring it. I was rather polite. I am not the one who proclaimed THREE PILLARS OF DOMINANCE.

You will find all types here, many will not be to your likeing. That is as it should be. If you think you can shame me. You got the wrong guy.

What your Master says is not incorrect. It is obvious to most.

As I said before I really am happy for you both. But don't attempt to tell me yours is the only way.

Jeff

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ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess

Frankly, I'm tired of it.

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ORIGINAL: subtee
This has been eating at me all day...

And likely suffering horribly!   (sorry... too good to let slip by)

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I absolutely believe we are a community.

If you wish to take the word "community" literally, then sure... ANY social group can be considered a "community".  However, the caveat is that one needs to feel a CONNECTION to said social group for it to be a "community" to them.  Not everyone feels that "connection".  You may, and so it's a "community" to you.  To others, it's just an internet site, or simply a vehicle to meet someone, get laid, kill time, or whatever.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Note how many posters are in the forums vs. how many profiles are on the site.  Obviously not everyone participates in the forums... and so, most don't feel the "community" connection others do.  I post in the forums, and I don't view this place as a "community".  As a couple, we have friends who are on CM (and similar sites), but don't view ourselves as part of any group or "community" because of it.

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If not, why are you here?

Boredom... entertainment... varied reading/topics... etc.

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You come to find like-minded folks, however loosely we may align, but the point is to share from a common (ish) point of view. You can go to any number of message boards to share but you come here because we have something in common. Ergo, community.

By this reasoning, all who visit a "News" site (New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, CNN, etc.), for example, because they enjoy reading about the News among others who also enjoy reading about the News makes them part of a "community"?  No... not really.  For some, sure... for others, not so much.

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I'm sick to death of the mantra "we're no different than vanilla relationships." Really? The dynamics and situations that we discuss would apply to the average Joe and Josie Sixpack?

You're mixing apples and oranges.  Yes, we have intimate social/sexual "dynamics" that are not the same as otherwise termed "vanillas" practice, but that does NOT mean we are "different" in ALL or even MOST aspects from others.  Do we not have jobs, grocery shop, raise children, seek a life-partner, want to love and be loved, date, have our hearts filled or broken, struggle, celebrate, adopt puppies and kitties, visit family and friends, lose loved ones, have friends, study/learn, play cards, watch TV, go to the movies, bitch about gas prices, laugh, cry, do laundry, etc.???  Of course we do... so this is what's meant by the phrase, "we're no different from vanilla relationships".  The very simple and obvious fact is, aside from minor differences, we're NOT some isolated group on some isolated planet.  And yes... ALL PEOPLE (even those termed "vanilla") have SOME form of "kink" to them;  some are simply more open about it, or are willing to engage in said "kinks".  So be "sick to death" all you like... the truth is, the differences are minor.

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There is a thread by a Dom asking if it's safe to torture breast implants. People here, community, can help him. There is a thread about a Dom expecting a submissive to pay for everything and when she can't, the consensus seems to be he's a lousy guy. There is no point, it seems to me to post, "listen, Bub, I'm gonna tell you something you don't know" to demonstrate that you find someone righteous or condescending. Even, especially, if the "something you don't know" is that we don't relate. If we didn't, even in some small way, you wouldn't be here.

I can "relate" to a lot of things... just because I can "relate" to a person asking a question about how to fix a problem on their computer, for example, it doesn't mean I have any PERSONAL/COMMUNITY connection to the person.  It's simply an information exchange.  Some enjoy helping others... some could care less. That's life.

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If you sift through all of the "we're no different than vanillas" not much is left with regard to Honor, Responsibility and Dignity. Can you really argue with the thesis? Why do you get offended by the suggestion that we might be aligned in some way? Is your Dom without dignity or responsibility? Is that why it offends so much?

Best answered by another's post in this thread:

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ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
I suppose the man's posts appear black and white, only because they ardently, stridently defend things that are so astoundingly obvious.

He urges us to behave with Honor, Responsibility and Dignity.

Well who could disagree with that? Not me, that's for sure.
But that is kind of the problem, isn't it?

Was this needing to be said? Will his next post be one in which he takes a strong, brave stand against the torture of little puppies?

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Sometimes, I don't really understand what is going through the head of so many 'Doms'. There seems to be this pervasive and evergrowing attitude that to be dominant means taking advantage of a submissive as much as you can and then tossing her by the wayside once she catches on to your shenanigans.

Frankly, I'm tired of it.

So, much to the annoyance of many, no doubt, you all get to be witness to my personal little rant on what I like to consider the three Pillars of Dominance.

Just rolls eyes...

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Why?

Here's "why"... from the OP's above commentary/rant/blathering...

1)  Honor, Respect, and Dignity are NOT unique to the Power Dynamic... a "Captain Obvious" moment.

2)  The OP states they don't "understand what goes through the head of so many Doms".  This, in itself, is putting down (i.e., judging/insulting) others they admittedly DON'T "understand".

3)  The OP states they've viewed a growing attitude where "dominant means taking advantage of a submissive as much as you can".  Again, more chest-thumping bravado... as if teh poor wittle submittives are defenseless little bunnies that can't think for themselves.  Insulting!!!  As if "sub/slave" somehow equates to being an idiot;  oh how will the lost-little-lamb every survive without their Dommy-Wommy?!!  Puke!!!  We're talking about ADULTS here!

4)  The OP state's the sub/slave is then "toss[ed]... by the wayside once she catches on to your shenanigans".  Once again, an ASSUMPTION of "shenanigans" on the part of D-types, and an ASSUMPTION of stupidity on the part of s-types.  Oh, but not from the Knight on the OP's white-horse... after all, he has SAVED his subby-wubby from teh evul Dommy-Doms that lurk behind every kinky-tree with treacherous intent to teh-poor-wittle-unsuspecting-subbie-bunnies, and must now enlighten the world to their TWUE ways of Domliness!!!  Vomit!!!

5)  The OP's alleged "Pillars of Dominance" are yet more self-aggrandizing blather... regurgitate the COMPLETE OBVIOUS... wrap it in some silly BDSM-esque verbiage... then pass it off as some beacon of kink-enlightenment.  Good GAWD... better the OP should post their Nintendo high-scores, at least that'd show SOME accomplishment.

6)  The OP states they're "Tired of it".  Well, several are just as "tired" of this sort of pointless "Look at me... aren't I teh uber Toppy?!!" blathering.

Have a Good One!

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

As someone who has lived her life surrounded by military, PLEASE do not try and say that military personnel are more honourable, responsible or dignified. Because that just is not the case.

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ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess
Sometimes, I don't really understand what is going through the head of so many 'Doms'. There seems to be this pervasive and evergrowing attitude that to be dominant means taking advantage of a submissive as much as you can and then tossing her by the wayside once she catches on to your shenanigans.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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In general.. nothing you have stated is particularly inspiring or new. It's rather typical if truth was to be told. Often I have seen the White Knight come charging into the forums on how to make the community a better place. I do not disagree that Honor, Responsibility and Dignity are wonderful traits for a Dominant.... in fact.. they are wonderful traits for any person!

KoM,

i am with you on the whole post, but i would like to add the word that is missing for me and is painfully missing in the OP: Humility.

Honor, Responsibility and Dignity are nothing without the start and the start is Demut, not in the SM sense but in the strict sense in that it is used through the times and the belief systems be them religious or philosophical.

Being humbled by the pure joy of existence, by the sound of water in the morning, by the smile your beloved one/ones give you, is the start,

the basic, the rest comes later.

HWK

_____________________________

After 10 years with the handle ZenDragoness it is time for a change.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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ORIGINAL: Hawkwindblues

LaTigresse:

Do not and i repeat not

Bring a new gor/antigor war down on us.

Sincerely

Ruth/ZenDragoness

But
it could be fun.

...on second thoughts...