RE: A "Fuck" Buddy??

RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (Full Version)

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Wolf2Bear -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (1/25/2010 8:46:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: LanceHughes "Fuck buddy" is not a new term in the gay world. I think a synonym in the straight world is "booty call." Yes, straight "fuck buddies" are as described. It's just that "fuck buddies" in the gay world covers both the booty call and the friend with privileges. Summary: All men are pigs. Put two in the same room and sex happening is a definite possiblity. Just sayin' I've had gay male roommates in my early 20s. I know this well! You whores (and I say this affectionately) ;-) - LA snort Seriously, among the gay men, there are a large portion who have no intention of settling down with one person and having a series of booty calls gives then semi regular sex partners without the seriousness of a full time commitment. Yes I do have a couple friends with benefits and yes...both are married to their spouses and yes their spouses do know about me and it is not a problem. eta: And Lance is quite correct....we men are pigs, especially gay men!

petmonkey -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (1/26/2010 2:12:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika It's just a racier way of saying "a lover" or "a play partner" or "a friend with benefits". In French, we call them un ami érotique (an erotic friend). I like that better as it's not always about fucking ;-) - LA Done that, been there; my motives for doing so were questionable at times. The term "fuck buddy" is kind of trashy and smacks of disrespect, both to yourself and the sex partner, but if a lack of respect is what your after don't hide it. Some of the lovers i had continue to be good, stalwart friends. It is a way to have ones sexual needs met without being insincere about commitment level. Be sure to follow safer sex practices and communicate with your lover/s and Doctor on a regular basis.

JonnieBoy -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (1/26/2010 4:19:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear we men are pigs Which doesn't include me, being a BIG man rather than a WEE man ... [;)] Pirate

LadyAngelika -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (1/26/2010 4:48:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petmonkey quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika It's just a racier way of saying "a lover" or "a play partner" or "a friend with benefits". In French, we call them un ami érotique (an erotic friend). I like that better as it's not always about fucking ;-) - LA Done that, been there; my motives for doing so were questionable at times. The term "fuck buddy" is kind of trashy and smacks of disrespect, both to yourself and the sex partner, but if a lack of respect is what your after don't hide it. Some of the lovers i had continue to be good, stalwart friends. It is a way to have ones sexual needs met without being insincere about commitment level. Be sure to follow safer sex practices and communicate with your lover/s and Doctor on a regular basis. Well I could get into the cultural differences of why the French consider this an un ami érotique (an erotic friend) rather than a fuck buddy, but that would be a generalisation. Erotic friendships are much more respectful, in my view of things. In those that I've had, we did more than just fuck. And since some of them were very s & m based, in several instances, we didn't fuck. Most lasted anywhere from 3 months to 3 years and some were even put on hold while I dated people. See for me, fucking is sex without emotion. I know not everyone views it this way but I know a great deal do. Sometimes, whether it is with a friend or within the realm of a committed relationship, I want to simulate fucking as it is raw and primal and hot. That's fine. But an dynamic based on just fucking? Well that isn't for me. I have way too much of a need for intimacy for this to happen. Then again, I am also able to balance emotional closeness and just having fun with the notion of no relationship commitment. That said, I'm not so sure the erotic friend would be enough for me anymore/at this time. - LA

eyesopened -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (1/26/2010 5:15:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml As one of my lady friends put it "I don't have the time or energy to form a monogomous relationship with the goldfish/dog and all the other nonsense - I like the fact that I have a friend I can just have fun with, without all that baggage". I don't think there's a lack of commitment or loyalty - it's just a commitment and a loyalty to a different thing... the ideal fb relationship is without jealousy, allows both parties to get on with their lives, and focusses on friendship and fun rather than an intense relationship. Exactly! What if the term was "golf buddy"? You know, someone you enjoy playing golf with but really don't hang out with for any other reason. Same principle. When my offspring were at home, I did NOT want a serious relationship, one where the guy was gonna meet my offspring. I did not want my offspring to feel any heartache or rejection should the relationship not work out. I was busy. My offspring took precedence over relationships and a lot of guys don't want to understand that. It was much easier to have affectionate relationships with great sex (and or kink) than all the other mess. It worked for me and was not about unsafe sex or random, casual sex at all.

ranja -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (2/3/2010 2:30:58 AM)
If you have fucked one buddy do you have to fuck them all? Can you have more than one fuck buddy at the time? Are you expected to tell all these fuck buddies how many there are? If you forget to mention you have fucked another buddy is that considered cheating? Do you have to tell a buddy that you have moved on to another fucker? I have to say the whole fuck buddy thing never worked for me exactly because of all the questions above... when i was a fuck buddy, (or easy lay, or slut as it was known in my day) i always hoped there would be more... i mean, both single, nice sex, why not try for something a bit more meaningful? i remember quite embarrassing desperation setting in at one point... not good at all... i was a mess... and always when i had a 'fuck buddy' they ended up head over heels wanting way more than i was prepared to give... not good at all either... clingy, whiny men, yuck i prefer lovers... married... that way it is much clearer where you stand.

GreedyTop -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (2/3/2010 5:33:09 AM)
"slut" does not necessarily = fuck buddy, IMO.

petmonkey -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (2/3/2010 6:49:00 AM)
quote: If you have fucked one buddy do you have to fuck them all? No. Gawd, no. People can have sexual chemistry and friendship chemistry yet for whatever reason, the "significant other" chemistry isn't there. People can even have "work partner" chemistry. Just because one kind or some kinds of chemistry is there doesn't mean the other kinds will eventually arrive. Can you have more than one fuck buddy at the time? Yeah, and you can have more than one fuck buddy at the same time, at the same time. Buddy-ing up for fucking tends to occur for me when i don't have a lot of time or the inclination for intense involvement. i think it's okay to admit this and act on it, iffin' ya' wanna'. Are you expected to tell all these fuck buddies how many there are? i did feel it behooved both me and my various buddies that other buddies existed, if not the quantity, quality, or frequency. i felt that if i hadn't; i wasn't being a buddy, just a fucker. A lot of the benefit of buddy-fucking lies in the phrase "spare me the details." If you forget to mention you have fucked another buddy is that considered cheating? If you forget you fucked a buddy, it probably wasn't worth it. Re-evaluate your selection strategy. One can cheat oneself out of good times, good adventures, good friendships, good information and good health all one wants. But a quality buddy never cheats their friends out of the same. Do you have to tell a buddy that you have moved on to another fucker? Nah, just that you've moved on. Re: "spare me the details". ORIGINAL: ranja i appreciates your reservations. It can be risky behavior, especially if it's a coping strategy for low self-esteem or used as a release for a misdirected emotion, among other things. But it doesn't have to be and it isn't always, for everyone.

ranja -> RE: A "Fuck" Buddy?? (2/3/2010 8:02:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop "slut" does not necessarily = fuck buddy, IMO. i didn't think so either, but many many people do though, and people gossip that way in my experience if you fuck around with buddies there is a very good chance that some narrowminded gossips will start calling the girl a slut and also 'buddies' talk among eachother and suggest to their friends you might be 'up' for it... it can become really really seedy, especially when you are fairly young and inexperienced. pet monkey thanks for your attention, i gather it works for some people... but it only worked for me when the guy was otherwise unavailable, that kept it extremely discreet and exiting. As two singles it never worked out at all, it always became emotional and messy from one side or the other.

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