RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs

RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress

Message

lobodomslavery -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 2:39:17 PM)
The thing Lady Hib is the picture looks completely like me and I use it on Fetlife without a problem. The problem here is the fascist ideology of the Moderators. I know shoot me if you wish, but if you believe in the Fifth amendment , Im entitled to say that without censure. Now lets be clear , I m not saying that the Moderators are Nazi followers or fascists as people but their idea of not allowing me have a pic that looks me, well Im sorry its a fascist ideology Kevin

LadyPact -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 2:43:54 PM)
I'm not going to quote everyone. I think the thread is still short enough at this point for the participants to follow along. LadyA, the comments that you make in your first post are true. I think many of us have added into kink threads and watched the incoming mail in our box go upward in number. If, for example, I do want to talk about looping interrogation with other Dominant women, I don't want a dozen messages within the hour reading basically 'I wish you would torture me like that'. Truthfully, I may have had a better chance of escaping that since the thread was listed in the general section, rather than our own here. (Btw, if I've saved the email that I sent to GM on the subject, I'll see if I can forward it to you when I have the opportunity.) submissiveboy76, we honestly do have a good number of submissive males and females who frequent this board who are interested in intelligent discussions. I certainly don't want anyone to think that I don't recognize those that do. I've often said on the boards before that the wanker folks actually do the most damage to those in the same group of submissive males. The sad part is that there are so many of the folks who just want to use these boards as fantasy fulfillment, that it can seem like the white noise drowns out those who have honest contributions to make. pyro (good to see you back, btw), I understand where you are coming from, but I tend to think that if more folks looked at these boards in the same way they did a meatlife gathering of folks interested in wiitwd, we'd honestly have less of a problem. Nobody in their right mind would go to a munch, raging hard on under their clothes, panting our questions about who at the table is into CBT. The very same question could be addressed as if anyone knew of any demos coming up on the subject or if anyone had read any recent articles about it. When kinky people bring up the subject of kink, without implying or propositioning personal involvement in the subject matter, they receive a much better response. LadyH, first of all, DAMN, I'm jealous! I haven't been to a good sounds demo in quite some time. Add Me to the list of any added info you might want to share, especially if the demo includes a sounds/electricity mix. We did used to have a much higher percentage of good discussions on matters of kink. I have to wonder if we've just been so deludged with 'will a Mistress do x,y,z to horny male 157,762,456' that we aren't willing to put ourselves out there anymore. There are certain things in relation to technique that I won't discuss on the boards. I think any of us who could be put in the category of 'edge players' understand My reasons for doing so. I have no problem sharing information on techniques on the other side with folks that I know already have some knowledge on a certain type of play and already know the safety measures and risk factors associated with it. Random folks who show up on the boards, not so much. (Anybody remember the 'I borrowed some sounds to use on the boyfriend and now he may have an infection poster?) There is a danger there and I don't want to be a part of that. stillearning, those kinds of threads are here, honest. They may not be as frequent as the 'drive by do-me' threads that we see around here. Maybe this will be a start in getting more of the threads started that are of the higher content variety. Sylvere, yes, that is My reasons for doing so. I covered this a bit alreay, but maybe a little more detail. If I'm teaching a certain type of play to a munch group in a demo setting, I'm an 'all in' kind of person. That means that I do the formal presentation for the group during the allotted time and I tend to remain in demo mode throughout any following play party the group has set up. During the rest of that night, I make Myself available to anyone who needs additional instruction, or even wants to try out whatever it was that I taught with My supervision. If folks want an opportunity for hands on with their own top/bottom, I'll stay right there with them so that they have a control person to help them out. (I do this during the class portion, too, but as you know, not everyone is brave enough to volunteer while the entire group looks on.) This gives Me even more of a chance to give them a little additional help, and a LOT of safety tips, answer any questions that they still have, or the ones they come up with once they try it themselves. There's no way to do that here, so I take the path of caution. If we did have a FAQ section, what do you think would best fit? Dynamics, play, most commonly asked questions, or something else?

LadyPact -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 2:45:28 PM)
Kevin, please discontinue attempting to derail the thread with another topic. If you want to discuss whether or not someone should be permitted to post a picture of a living person who is not themselves, please take it up in a thread regarding violations of TOS.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 2:59:38 PM)
quote: If we did have a FAQ section, what do you think would best fit? Dynamics, play, most commonly asked questions, or something else? At this point, I envision three major threads: One for profile reviews and critique, one for help with making first contact with a prospective dominant, including detailed analysis of the initial email and help improving it, and a FAQ thread of common topics with brief answers and links to some of the better threads/posts on the topics. The FAQ would also include information regarding basic etiquette of how to ask a question in order to get the best response and which types of questions will result in snark and how to avoid them. That's what I've got dancing in my head so far. Naturally, other opinions/options/suggestions are welcome.

PrincessDonna -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:00:28 PM)
I'd say just start with FAQ and let it blend from there,its easy to ignore those that choose not to take it seriously but even they seem to find someone to play with.Bad manners of others never stopeed me from going to the places I enjoyed going.

lobodomslavery -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:02:11 PM)
Ive said my piece and thats it. People can make up their own minds or not. Don t be perturbed, Im not interested in derailing anything, it s over and done. I hope this puts Your mind at ease Lady Pact Kevin

LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:13:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact LadyA, the comments that you make in your first post are true. I think many of us have added into kink threads and watched the incoming mail in our box go upward in number. If, for example, I do want to talk about looping interrogation with other Dominant women, I don't want a dozen messages within the hour reading basically 'I wish you would torture me like that'. Truthfully, I may have had a better chance of escaping that since the thread was listed in the general section, rather than our own here. (Btw, if I've saved the email that I sent to GM on the subject, I'll see if I can forward it to you when I have the opportunity.) I understand why you did what you did and yes' I would very much appreciate reading it. - LA

LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:14:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: If we did have a FAQ section, what do you think would best fit? Dynamics, play, most commonly asked questions, or something else? At this point, I envision three major threads: One for profile reviews and critique, one for help with making first contact with a prospective dominant, including detailed analysis of the initial email and help improving it, and a FAQ thread of common topics with brief answers and links to some of the better threads/posts on the topics. The FAQ would also include information regarding basic etiquette of how to ask a question in order to get the best response and which types of questions will result in snark and how to avoid them. That's what I've got dancing in my head so far. Naturally, other opinions/options/suggestions are welcome. I like it. I would suggest the following order: 1) The forum 2) The profile 3) The contact - LA

OttersSwim -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:21:07 PM)
It would be very handy if you were able to make those FAQ threads into sticky topics that sat at the top of the forum at all times. I have asked for sticky topics before and it seems that now might be a good time to do so again. There is no issue with the forum software accommodating it, it just needs to be enabled and then threads that the group wants stickied can be made so by a moderator. Might be a good thing to send a request to the mods for this feature.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:26:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact There are certain things in relation to technique that I won't discuss on the boards. I think any of us who could be put in the category of 'edge players' understand My reasons for doing so. I have no problem sharing information on techniques on the other side with folks that I know already have some knowledge on a certain type of play and already know the safety measures and risk factors associated with it. Random folks who show up on the boards, not so much. (Anybody remember the 'I borrowed some sounds to use on the boyfriend and now he may have an infection poster?) There is a danger there and I don't want to be a part of that. If I'm teaching a certain type of play to a munch group in a demo setting, I'm an 'all in' kind of person. That means that I do the formal presentation for the group during the allotted time and I tend to remain in demo mode throughout any following play party the group has set up. During the rest of that night, I make Myself available to anyone who needs additional instruction, or even wants to try out whatever it was that I taught with My supervision. This gives Me even more of a chance to give them a little additional help, and a LOT of safety tips, answer any questions that they still have, or the ones they come up with once they try it themselves. There's no way to do that here, so I take the path of caution. I don't want you to think I don't understand your reasoning or that I disagree with you, because that isn't the case. However, this is an adult site and everyone here is expected to be an adult with all the rights and responsibilities that entails. Since this is the case, is it really necessary for us to censor ourselves on the chance one of the adults isn't smart enough to know anything we do comes with an inherent amount of risk and take precautions? Are we responsible for their actions or only our own? My own proclivities for mind fucks and psychological edgeplay are just as risky as knife play or fire play, merely less visibly damaging when they go wrong. However, I don't feel any need to restrict myself from discussing the topic because someone might try to copy what I do and fuck it up. I don't feel personally responsible for what other consenting adults do behind closed doors and I would take it amiss if someone suggested I should be held responsible for an act in which I took no part. It seems to me we're limiting ourselves and our own pleasure out of fear. I don't think it's necessary, but if someone chooses to do so, that is his or her right. I just hate to see the forum become stagnant as a result. Surely there is some workable middle ground.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:37:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OttersSwim It would be very handy if you were able to make those FAQ threads into sticky topics that sat at the top of the forum at all times. I have asked for sticky topics before and it seems that now might be a good time to do so again. There is no issue with the forum software accommodating it, it just needs to be enabled and then threads that the group wants stickied can be made so by a moderator. Might be a good thing to send a request to the mods for this feature. This was brought up on the previous page, and I think its a great idea too. (edited for my clumsy fingers)

VaguelyCurious -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:43:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan ...this is an adult site and everyone here is expected to be an adult with all the rights and responsibilities that entails. Since this is the case, is it really necessary for us to censor ourselves on the chance one of the adults isn't smart enough to know anything we do comes with an inherent amount of risk and take precautions? Are we responsible for their actions or only our own? My own proclivities for mind fucks and psychological edgeplay are just as risky as knife play or fire play, merely less visibly damaging when they go wrong. However, I don't feel any need to restrict myself from discussing the topic because someone might try to copy what I do and fuck it up. I don't feel personally responsible for what other consenting adults do behind closed doors and I would take it amiss if someone suggested I should be held responsible for an act in which I took no part. It seems to me we're limiting ourselves and our own pleasure out of fear. I don't think it's necessary, but if someone chooses to do so, that is his or her right. I just hate to see the forum become stagnant as a result. Surely there is some workable middle ground. As someone who doesn't have all the technical knowledge about the scary heavy stuff yet, I would like to second this point. With all respect, Lady Pact, my actions are my responsibility, and not yours; I'm capable of making the assessment that I don't have the safety knowledge to copy you, and I know that these forums are no replacement for real life demonstrations and real life demonstrators. That doesn't mean that I don't want to hear what you have to say on any topic, because a) things you say might come in handy later when I am more experienced, and b) I have a better chance of understanding what skills I do and don't want to focus on developing if I can listen to others' experiences, I feel a little like you are implying that being inexperienced makes you stupid; any intelligent Dominant who has not yet achieved competency is unlikely to rush out and try and copy you with no experience or thought for safety.

Politesub53 -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:43:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery I think people should live and let live. Even if people take pics that arent theirs , they should not have them removed. Whatever floats your boat is what I say. We have too many interfering administrators euphemistically labelled support staff on this site Its just my personal opinion. Please dont shoot me. Mileage after all will vary Kevin kevin, I just cant agree with the idea that people should be able to use photos of other people. It is dishonest in more ways than one. Would you be happy if you went to meet someone who didnt look anything like her avatar ? I also feel the mods here do a good job, they stick to the T.O.S. Somedays you may not agree with them, but they are the ones daily making what is, after all, a judgement call. I assume they are unpaid as well. When you pay them wages yourself you will have the right to be over critical.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 3:46:48 PM)
quote: I like it. I would suggest the following order: 1) The forum 2) The profile 3) The contact - LA Okay, so if we were going to do this, let's start with #1. What forum topics/questions do you think should be included? Are you willing to help provide links to relevant threads to add? Note: I decided to keep this here, rather than splitting it off into it's own thread, because I think it's relevant to this discussion as well.

LadyPact -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:04:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan ...this is an adult site and everyone here is expected to be an adult with all the rights and responsibilities that entails. Since this is the case, is it really necessary for us to censor ourselves on the chance one of the adults isn't smart enough to know anything we do comes with an inherent amount of risk and take precautions? Are we responsible for their actions or only our own? My own proclivities for mind fucks and psychological edgeplay are just as risky as knife play or fire play, merely less visibly damaging when they go wrong. However, I don't feel any need to restrict myself from discussing the topic because someone might try to copy what I do and fuck it up. I don't feel personally responsible for what other consenting adults do behind closed doors and I would take it amiss if someone suggested I should be held responsible for an act in which I took no part. It seems to me we're limiting ourselves and our own pleasure out of fear. I don't think it's necessary, but if someone chooses to do so, that is his or her right. I just hate to see the forum become stagnant as a result. Surely there is some workable middle ground. And I think each of us handles the situation as we best see fit. I am not asking anyone to take on any additional responsibility for the actions of others. Yet, I feel better for not participating in those situations where I get a suspicion that someone posting a question where they may be playing a bit above their level. We each stay where we are more comfortable on the subject. quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious As someone who doesn't have all the technical knowledge about the scary heavy stuff yet, I would like to second this point. With all respect, Lady Pact, my actions are my responsibility, and not yours; I'm capable of making the assessment that I don't have the safety knowledge to copy you, and I know that these forums are no replacement for real life demonstrations and real life demonstrators. That doesn't mean that I don't want to hear what you have to say on any topic, because a) things you say might come in handy later when I am more experienced, and b) I have a better chance of understanding what skills I do and don't want to focus on developing if I can listen to others' experiences, I feel a little like you are implying that being inexperienced makes you stupid; any intelligent Dominant who has not yet achieved competency is unlikely to rush out and try and copy you with no experience or thought for safety. I'm glad you have the sense of responsibility for your own actions. I can assure you that this is not always the case. In fact, I didn't used to have this policy for the way I handle such responses when I first came around these boards. When I first started on these boards, I used to have a much more open way of doing things and was definitely freer about posting details and techniques. Then, the very same posters would come back, either on the forum or in private mail, and talk about the safety issues they either ignored or hadn't bothered with, and there were issues. That was when I took up discussing only certain types of play in CM mail.

LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:33:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: I like it. I would suggest the following order: 1) The forum 2) The profile 3) The contact - LA Okay, so if we were going to do this, let's start with #1. What forum topics/questions do you think should be included? Are you willing to help provide links to relevant threads to add? Note: I decided to keep this here, rather than splitting it off into it's own thread, because I think it's relevant to this discussion as well. Good. What I recommend is that we come up with a list of common themes. Then, we come up with some key thread for each as well as a link to a search query for the key words so that the reference doesn't get stagnant. Does anyone have a list of topics anywhere, otherwise I'll post back the start of a list. - LA

pyroaquatic -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:36:20 PM)
Yes, it is good to be back. I had a grand adventure. Yay! Finally a sticky FAQ.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:39:19 PM)
Common Topics: Feminization/sissy training - are FemDoms into it or not, and the debate over the issue of "forcing the willing" CBT/trampling Anal/strap-on play Pro vs. Lifestyle dominantion - what's the difference, pros and cons of each Financial domination - valid fetish or just another name for golddigging? This is just a short list of things I've seen come up in the past couple of months. Feel free to add.

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:48:18 PM)
I think it would be wonderful if we could indeed encourage more serious discussion about our kinks. Since LP has concerns about the safety of others who act as though they know more than they actually know, perhaps a thread featuring Safety would be a good addition. I'm not talking going into every possible saftey precaution imaginable (simply because we are human and things that we take for granted could easily be omitted due to us taking for granted that it should be common knowledge). But, we could put a thread which states "Upon reading these threads you will encounter some serious discussion regarding edgy topics. It is important that one takes the time to learn about the saftey precautions and risk factors involved before attempting to perform these particular activities. If you see a particular topic that interests you, be sure to ask serious questions about how to find out the necessary precautions." I also think an etiquette thread, as mentioned by someone else, should be a priority. I would LOVE to be able to read more about the practicalities, or personal experiences of others and their preferred kinks. This would allow me the opportunity to see what is enjoyable about things I may not be aware of, or even consider an activity I currently dislike because I am not familiar enough with the activity. I don't think I'm the only one who would enjoy expanding their interest/knowledge base. I don't post to this forum much because, quite frankly, the repetition and wank requests have become tedious. Sylvere, (if it wasn't you, I apologize in advance for not going back and verifying) I'd LOVE to learn more about sounds - with or without electricity. LP, I've read many of your posts and relate to you on many levels. I would love to have a day or three in your mind [:D]. So those of you who do have more experience, not just educational experience, but enjoyment experiences as well ...please share!

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:52:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan quote: I like it. I would suggest the following order: 1) The forum 2) The profile 3) The contact - LA Okay, so if we were going to do this, let's start with #1. What forum topics/questions do you think should be included? Are you willing to help provide links to relevant threads to add? Note: I decided to keep this here, rather than splitting it off into it's own thread, because I think it's relevant to this discussion as well. Good. What I recommend is that we come up with a list of common themes. Then, we come up with some key thread for each as well as a link to a search query for the key words so that the reference doesn't get stagnant. Does anyone have a list of topics anywhere, otherwise I'll post back the start of a list. - LA I think numbers 2 & 3 could be combined since most advice about contacting dominant women/men tends to refer back to one's profile anyway, in addition to munches and events, etc.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

6.445313E-02