RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs

RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (Full Version)

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LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:52:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan Common Topics: Feminization/sissy training - are FemDoms into it or not, and the debate over the issue of "forcing the willing" CBT/trampling Anal/strap-on play Pro vs. Lifestyle dominantion - what's the difference, pros and cons of each Financial domination - valid fetish or just another name for golddigging? This is just a short list of things I've seen come up in the past couple of months. Feel free to add. I'd seperate CBT and trampling, but otherwise, great start Caging Gags, hand-over-mouth and speech restriction CFnm Chastity, with devices or mental (we might add castration fantasy?) Orgasm control/denial Queening & facesitting Foot fetish Humiliation Sadomasochism Bondage (incl. Predicament bondage) Dominas seeking female-led relationships vs. Dominatrix Sub vs slave vs bottom - LA

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:59:43 PM)
Top/bottom vs Dominance/submission. I think many guys here would benefit (the ladies as well) if they were to include in their profile whether or not they are here looking to submit, or looking to bottom for some play. Since there is no option in the profiles for those choices, and newbies don't know there is a difference, it could help. Besides, I ocassionally like to bottom, and I HATE when people think that makes me submissive! lol.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 4:59:47 PM)
Ok, good ideas all around. I'm also interested in the forum etiquette section. What topics (besides the ones I've listed already) do you think we should include?

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:10:27 PM)
For a FAQ, I think it should be kept relatively simple. Safety Etiquette (to include forum etiquette, CMail etiquette) Profile Improvement/Contacting a Dominant How to find Munches/Events local to oneself Common Kinks/Fantasies(with some links to good threads pertaining to them) Eunich/Castration Forced (anything) Feminization Anal/Strapon etc Common Complaints (with links) Scammers/fakes ProDomme/Lifestyle Domme Financial Domination Nobody replies to my emails even though I SWEAR they are sincere etc Common Jargon/terminology Top/Bottom Bottom/Submissive/Slave etc edited for formatting/clarity in Headings/subheadings and because I keep thinking (I should stop doing that[:D])

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:23:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz For a FAQ, I think it should be kept relatively simple. Major snippage I like this set up. Simple, elegant, and best of all, useful. Since it was my idea, I'm guessing I volunteered myself to put together the final post, but I could really use help compiling the archived threads.

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:25:34 PM)
I'd be happy to help. Since it was your idea, pick a topic you want to search out, and throw one my way. While your at it, throw a topic to those who mentioned they'd like to see this and get them to volunteer! :) ETA: While all of this has a loose relevance to the original topic, but isn't exactly on topic, perhaps you could start a thread titled "FAQ Test", a place where others can input things that should go into the FAQ, formatting tips, and all related things that are involved in getting the FAQ up and running, and crosslink it here so those who are willing to assist can find it. This way LP can have her thread back.

LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:25:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz For a FAQ, I think it should be kept relatively simple. Safety Etiquette (to include forum etiquette, CMail etiquette) Profile Improvement/Contacting a Dominant How to find Munches/Events local to oneself Common Kinks/Fantasies(with some links to good threads pertaining to them) Eunich/Castration Forced (anything) Feminization Anal/Strapon etc Common Complaints (with links) Scammers/fakes ProDomme/Lifestyle Domme Financial Domination Nobody replies to my emails even though I SWEAR they are sincere etc Common Jargon/terminology Top/Bottom Bottom/Submissive/Slave etc edited for formatting/clarity in Headings/subheadings and because I keep thinking (I should stop doing that[:D]) I like this structure a lot. I would however consider some of the following for the common kinks. I would say definitely the first 3 and hopefully the last 7. Chastity, with devices or mental (we might add castration fantasy?) Orgasm control/denial Queening & facesitting CFnm Foot fetish Caging Bondage (incl. Predicament bondage) Humiliation Sadomasochism Gags, hand-over-mouth and speech restriction - LA

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:31:38 PM)
Ya know...everyone who thinks a FAQ is a good idea, pick your favorite topics and post links to threads you feel are especially good. I'll weed out the duplicates. That way, it's more interesting/fun than work. Forum lurkers are encouraged to respond.

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:31:51 PM)
Oh, I would have included them, but I was just putting up a brief summary using etc to include those I've neglected. LA, since you want the kinks included, perhaps you can set up the kinks page (if Sylvere doesn't want it herself). I'd be happy to focus on the Complaints section. Hopefully someone else will volunteer for other sections.

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:36:52 PM)
I'll let you guys (and whoever else wants to contribute) focus on links. I'll concentrate on writing up an intro and short Q&A style blurbs for each heading. That way, readers will be able to get a quick answer before they start diving into the archives.

LadyAngelika -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:40:22 PM)
Sounds great. I'll have some stuff by tomorrow! - LA

Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:46:26 PM)
To prevent further derailing LPs thread, here is a link for all FAQ related information: FAQ Setup

notinferior -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 5:51:40 PM)
I am afraid I don't even know what to say. Debate and discussion of an intelligent nature.... and on the internet too? Hmmm, I will have to watch this very closely. Honestly, I understand the dilemma. On the one hand, discussion regarding topics that are in depth and involve our most intimate erotic leanings is truly thought provoking and rewarding. On the other hand, knowing that half the men reading your posts are sitting there using your input as erotic reading material for their own carnal amusement makes the whole experience cheap. I really have no answer, not a good one. True, you could find a forum where men are not allowed access, but isn't it just possible that a submissive man's perspective might be of value? Perhaps not. I see a very clear thread here of dominant women largely ignoring posts by submissive men. I am sure the reason is very much a product of the kind of "wankerism" you are talking about. Likewise, you could say that you will simply ignore the "wankers" as though they didn't exist, but can you? Really? Worse still, are the flamers. People, both male and female who read your thoughts and flame you back as though they were something to be judged and a verdict rendered. I have no answers, but I do hope a solution can be found. I would far and away prefer a forum where things are discussed that have to do with the lifestyle.... rather than a forum for complaining about stupid things. I would love to read dissertations and engage in discussion on the subjects of obedience, it's nature, practice and the preferences of its adherents. I would love to discuss the social contract aspects of a female dominant relationship. I would love to know other people's experiences with respect to household rules and the day to day lifestyle of 24/7 female dominance. I would love to see how other people deal with families in the lifestyle. Sadly, who wants to post to these very pertinent discussions without (A) being judged or (B) knowing that some poster is just asking questions for a little sexual (shall we say) amusement?

BlaiddDrwg -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 6:47:17 PM)
I'm a frequent lurker on the Ask A Mistress boards. I read almost every thread on here. I don't post often, because I don't usually have much to add or to say. I don't have a lot of (actually, any) experience in living my kinks. I'm still seeking someone to share the journey. Even so, I will try to respond to your questions, LP. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact ... In the past, we've had good intellectual discussions on these topics. How do we make that happen again? ... You've made a good start. This thread is getting people involved and posting. The majority of the responses seem (to me) to be made by legitimate, responsible, intelligent adults, who have an interest in participating in discussions of those topics. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact ... Would you talk more about your kinks here if there weren't so many male initiated threads, with more sexual overtones on the very same subjects? Would you be interested in the educational value of such threads? How do we accomplish this and still keep the boards submissive male friendly? (I would never suggest that only Dommes be welcome in participating here.) Is the answer to only recognize those posts that are based on intelligent discussion? What do you think? I understand that some kinks can be dangerous, especially in the hands of someone without the experience or knowledge to engage in them safely. Given that fact, intelligent discussion of such topics on these forums is a way for some of us who lack experience to get a better understanding of what is (or isn't) of interest to us. Personally, I would rather participate in an intellectual discussion of a kink that isn't necessarily my own than sit back and read the wankers' threads.

DrkJourney -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 6:55:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven With all due respect, LP, I don't think that it is the initiators of the threads being male as much as it is the whiny/wankability index. If the original poster, whether male or female, were to bring up his/her fetish calmly and thoughtfully, I don't think there'd be any issues. I think it's when the poster is either whiny ("Why is it so hard to find a women who will kick me in the balls?") or wankerish ("Ladies, do you get off on someone sniffing your used laundry? Do you? Huh? Huh?") that there's a problem. That said, I DO have to admit that there seem to be a lot more uncouth men than women here. Not sure why. OMG, that laundry idiot just emailed me....lol

DrkJourney -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/23/2010 7:49:20 PM)
I say open the discussions and as hard as it will be, simply ignore those that want to turn it into something else. As far as wanking material, I've learned that wankers will wank to anything. Those that send me emails that are just simply rude, I reply with a simple, no thank you....well some actually get off on that. There's really no way to stop the idiots, but you can stop their manipulation by simply ignoring them...if they are not being addressed personally, they will disappear. A little trick we used to use back in the day when yahoo had good user run chat rooms. They'd chime in with something rude and we'd simply ignore them and continue with our conversation like they were invisible. If they got really out of hand we did just that, we put them on ignore, and after a while they'd simply go away, or they would appologise and honestly join in the discussion. Example: there is an older gentleman (and I use the term loosely), on these boards, that his only reason in life seems to be to come on threads and argue, cause trouble, and say nasty things for shock value. Maybe if we ignored those type of threads and ignore their comments on other posts, they would be forced to the background. In other words, stop feeding the monster. As long as they are getting attention they will never stop. I would love to have real discussions. I am constantly learning and I feel there are loads to learn from the people here, things I would love to ask. We could have discussions that were so clinical in nature that it would be difficult to wank and if they did, so what? as long as I don't know about it....lol Not only these forums, but the internet in general could be a great learning tool, (I am so tired of the excuse "well this is the net", when people act like jerks and do things they wouldn't remotely do in the real world. Maybe things would change if we got rid of this mentality)...I say don't let the bad apples force us out....let's take it back

lobodomslavery -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/24/2010 3:09:34 AM)
Your entitled to your opinion, I dont happen to share it , I dont agree with it, but thanks anyway. Kevin

BKSir -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/24/2010 3:36:47 AM)
I would love to see such a thing as the sticky topics about the previously mentioned topics. I do, however, have concerns about how to keep them from being de-railed as well, aside from having one of the already overworked mods policing them constantly. A big part of the issue you originally brought up was how some turn into free-for-all's and some actually work out. And, as others have put it, it truly is, I believe, all about the wording of the post. The ones that seem to actually be serious, tend to stay that way, for the most part. The ones that are obvious trolling and wank material hunters tend to turn loopy very fast. Also, I'll admit to being a terrible de-railer, and I do truly mean to work on that. But, I also tend to do so only when the thread has turned to a point of utter insanity already. As far as other topics on the boards suggested, I would like to add in hopefully: Shibari Collars and Leashes (One would be surprised how awful that experience can be in the hands of someone who doesn't know what they're doing. After all, a sub with a sprained neck is damn near useless.) Toys and Accessories Lube, storage, cleaning, recommendations, de-commendations (there are some out there I wouldn't sell to my worst enemy for a nickel), etc. Perhaps a thread for the CD/TV/TS people of the boards, for support, to get advice, give/share advice, etc. (NO, not just a place for me to find those cute femmy-bois... give me a bit more credit than that. After watching my pet, I can respect how difficult it is, especially for males, to try and look pretty) Great topic here LP. This is why I keep an eye out for your posts. :) EDIT: Because I forgot a paragraph...

lobodomslavery -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/24/2010 5:22:40 AM)
Derailing keeps the drama going. And whatever anyone says a group without drama is a boring group. So yeah derailing is cool from time to time, just not every time. Like I say it adds a bit of drama. People love a bit of the rogue and the outrageous on occasion , it gets people talking and as one fine fellow said the next worst thing to being talked about is Not being talked about Kevin

LadyPact -> RE: More Or Ours, Less Of Theirs (1/24/2010 6:57:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz I think it would be wonderful if we could indeed encourage more serious discussion about our kinks. Since LP has concerns about the safety of others who act as though they know more than they actually know, perhaps a thread featuring Safety would be a good addition. I'm not talking going into every possible saftey precaution imaginable (simply because we are human and things that we take for granted could easily be omitted due to us taking for granted that it should be common knowledge). But, we could put a thread which states "Upon reading these threads you will encounter some serious discussion regarding edgy topics. It is important that one takes the time to learn about the saftey precautions and risk factors involved before attempting to perform these particular activities. If you see a particular topic that interests you, be sure to ask serious questions about how to find out the necessary precautions." I also think an etiquette thread, as mentioned by someone else, should be a priority. I would LOVE to be able to read more about the practicalities, or personal experiences of others and their preferred kinks. This would allow me the opportunity to see what is enjoyable about things I may not be aware of, or even consider an activity I currently dislike because I am not familiar enough with the activity. I don't think I'm the only one who would enjoy expanding their interest/knowledge base. I don't post to this forum much because, quite frankly, the repetition and wank requests have become tedious. Sylvere, (if it wasn't you, I apologize in advance for not going back and verifying) I'd LOVE to learn more about sounds - with or without electricity. LP, I've read many of your posts and relate to you on many levels. I would love to have a day or three in your mind [:D]. So those of you who do have more experience, not just educational experience, but enjoyment experiences as well ...please share! I'm certainly glad you joined us for this discussion. I really appreciate your input, as well as the kind words. I'll absolutely have to catch up on that FAQ thread. I'm thinking that idea is really taking off!

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