quote:

ORIGINAL: notinferior

I am afraid I don't even know what to say.  Debate and discussion of an intelligent nature.... and on the internet too?  Hmmm, I will have to watch this very closely.  Honestly, I understand the dilemma.  On the one hand, discussion regarding topics that are in depth and involve our most intimate erotic leanings is truly thought provoking and rewarding.  On the other hand, knowing that half the men reading your posts are sitting there using your input as erotic reading material for their own carnal amusement makes the whole experience cheap.  I really have no answer, not a good one.

quote:

True, you could find a forum where men are not allowed access, but isn't it just possible that a submissive man's perspective might be of value?  Perhaps not.  I see a very clear thread here of dominant women largely ignoring posts by submissive men.  I am sure the reason is very much a product of the kind of "wankerism" you are talking about.  Likewise, you could say that you will simply ignore the "wankers" as though they didn't exist, but can you?  Really?  Worse still, are the flamers.  People, both male and female who read your thoughts and flame you back as though they were something to be judged and a verdict rendered.  I have no answers, but I do hope a solution can be found.  I would far and away prefer a forum where things are discussed that have to do with the lifestyle.... rather than a forum for complaining about stupid things.

quote:

I would love to read dissertations and engage in discussion on the subjects of obedience, it's nature, practice and the preferences of its adherents.  I would love to discuss the social contract aspects of a female dominant relationship.  I would love to know other people's experiences with respect to household rules and the day to day lifestyle of 24/7 female dominance.  I would love to see how other people deal with families in the lifestyle.  Sadly, who wants to post to these very pertinent discussions without (A) being judged or (B) knowing that some poster is just asking questions for a little sexual (shall we say) amusement?

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlaiddDrwg

I'm a frequent lurker on the Ask A Mistress boards. I read almost every thread on here. I don't post often, because I don't usually have much to add or to say. I don't have a lot of (actually, any) experience in living my kinks. I'm still seeking someone to share the journey. Even so, I will try to respond to your questions, LP.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
... In the past, we've had good intellectual discussions on these topics.  How do we make that happen again? ...

You've made a good start. This thread is getting people involved and posting. The majority of the responses seem (to me) to be made by legitimate, responsible, intelligent adults, who have an interest in participating in discussions of those topics.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
... Would you talk more about your kinks here if there weren't so many male initiated threads, with more sexual overtones on the very same subjects?  Would you be interested in the educational value of such threads?  How do we accomplish this and still keep the boards submissive male friendly?  (I would never suggest that only Dommes be welcome in participating here.)  Is the answer to only recognize those posts that are based on intelligent discussion?  What do you think?

I understand that some kinks can be dangerous, especially in the hands of someone without the experience or knowledge to engage in them safely. Given that fact, intelligent discussion of such topics on these forums is a way for some of us who lack experience to get a better understanding of what is (or isn't) of interest to us.

Personally, I would rather participate in an intellectual discussion of a kink that isn't necessarily my own than sit back and read the wankers' threads.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

I say open the discussions and as hard as it will be, simply ignore those that want to turn it into something else.  As far as wanking material, I've learned that wankers will wank to anything.  Those that send me emails that are just simply rude, I reply with a simple, no thank you....well some actually get off on that.  There's really no way to stop the idiots, but you can stop their manipulation by simply ignoring them...if they are not being addressed personally, they will disappear. 

A little trick we used to use back in the day when yahoo had good user run chat rooms.  They'd chime in with something rude and we'd simply ignore them and continue with our conversation like they were invisible.  If they got really out of hand we did just that, we put them on ignore,  and after a while they'd simply go away, or they would appologise and honestly join in the discussion.

Example: there is an older gentleman (and I use the term loosely), on these boards, that his only reason in life seems to be to come on threads and argue, cause trouble, and say nasty things for shock value.  Maybe if we ignored those type of threads and ignore their comments on other posts, they would be forced to the background.  In other words, stop feeding the monster.  As long as they are getting attention they will never stop.

I would love to have real discussions.  I am constantly learning and I feel there are loads to learn from the people here, things I would love to ask.  We could have discussions that were so clinical in nature that it would be difficult to wank and if they did, so what?  as long as I don't know about it....lol

Not only these forums, but the internet in general could be a great learning tool, (I am so tired of the excuse "well this is the net", when people act like jerks and do things they wouldn't remotely do in the real world.  Maybe things would change if we got rid of this mentality)...I say don't let the bad apples force us out....let's take it back

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

I would love to see such a thing as the sticky topics about the previously mentioned topics.  I do, however, have concerns about how to keep them from being de-railed as well, aside from having one of the already overworked mods policing them constantly.

A big part of the issue you originally brought up was how some turn into free-for-all's and some actually work out.  And, as others have put it, it truly is, I believe, all about the wording of the post.  The ones that seem to actually be serious, tend to stay that way, for the most part.  The ones that are obvious trolling and wank material hunters tend to turn loopy very fast.

Also, I'll admit to being a terrible de-railer, and I do truly mean to work on that.  But, I also tend to do so only when the thread has turned to a point of utter insanity already.

As far as other topics on the boards suggested, I would like to add in hopefully:
Shibari
Collars and Leashes (One would be surprised how awful that experience can be in the hands of someone who doesn't know what they're doing.  After all, a sub with a sprained neck is damn near useless.)
Toys and Accessories Lube, storage, cleaning, recommendations, de-commendations (there are some out there I wouldn't sell to my worst enemy for a nickel), etc.
Perhaps a thread for the CD/TV/TS people of the boards, for support, to get advice, give/share advice, etc. (NO, not just a place for me to find those cute femmy-bois... give me a bit more credit than that.  After watching my pet, I can respect how difficult it is, especially for males, to try and look pretty)

Great topic here LP.  This is why I keep an eye out for your posts. :)

EDIT:  Because I forgot a paragraph...

quote:

ORIGINAL: Drifa

As a technical writer professionally, I can tell you that the chances of anyone reading the FAQ if established are slim to none, and Slim just left town. Having it, however, allows you to snarl, "READ the freakin' FAQ!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Most of the kink related threads on this forum are started by males.  Some of the more popular ones, as we all know are topics related to strap on/anal play, forced fem, CBT, humiliation, and so on.  They are written in such a way that it is ridiculously obvious that the crafter of the OP is only looking for wanking material.  With that slant on the topic, we shoot it down quickly (as we should) and the thread basically becomes casual banter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir


Perhaps a thread for the CD/TV/TS people of the boards, for support, to get advice, give/share advice, etc.

quote:


(NO, not just a place for me to find those cute femmy-bois... give me a bit more credit than that. 

Uh-huh.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009
i have a topic that i've wanted to start a thread about for weeks, but i've been reluctant to do so.  The topic is a very kinky one.  It's about a subject that i have no experience in, but have a legitimate interest in learning about.  But i've been here long enough now to know that the odds of the thread either getting flamed or ignored are close to 100%.  So i haven't initiated the topic.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

i have a topic that i've wanted to start a thread about for weeks, but i've been reluctant to do so.  The topic is a very kinky one.  It's about a subject that i have no experience in, but have a legitimate interest in learning about.  But i've been here long enough now to know that the odds of the thread either getting flamed or ignored are close to 100%.  So i haven't initiated the topic.

quote:

Short of coaxing the moderators into making this board closed to everyone but dominant women (not going to happen)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

quote:

Short of coaxing the moderators into making this board closed to everyone but dominant women (not going to happen)

Why not start your own? If you don't like to hear the subs' point of view, start a board that's purely dommes. You can exchange ideas secure in the knowledge that you won't have to argue with any idiot subs who know nothing about anything except getting themselves off.

Subs should do the same thing. They can say whatever they like without fear of getting totally flamed by a gang of vultures just waiting for a chance to pounce on them.

This "Dommes Only" and "Subs Only" boards might hopefully result in a little more civil discourse on the "open" boards. On second thought ... nah, probably not. But it might give an outlet to people who feel the need to vent, without doing it in a place that obstructs much of the constructive dialogue.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

With all due respect, LP, I don't think that it is the initiators of the threads being male as much as it is the whiny/wankability index.  If the original poster, whether male or female, were to bring up his/her fetish calmly and thoughtfully, I don't think there'd be any issues. I think it's when the poster is either whiny ("Why is it so hard to find a women who will kick me in the balls?") or wankerish ("Ladies, do you get off on someone sniffing your used laundry?  Do you?  Huh?  Huh?") that there's a problem.

That said, I DO have to admit that there seem to be a lot more uncouth men than women here.  Not sure why.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

quote:

Short of coaxing the moderators into making this board closed to everyone but dominant women (not going to happen)

Why not start your own? If you don't like to hear the subs' point of view, start a board that's purely dommes. You can exchange ideas secure in the knowledge that you won't have to argue with any idiot subs who know nothing about anything except getting themselves off.

Subs should do the same thing. They can say whatever they like without fear of getting totally flamed by a gang of vultures just waiting for a chance to pounce on them.

This "Dommes Only" and "Subs Only" boards might hopefully result in a little more civil discourse on the "open" boards. On second thought ... nah, probably not. But it might give an outlet to people who feel the need to vent, without doing it in a place that obstructs much of the constructive dialogue.

I'm sorry to say this, but I think you are wilfully misunderstanding the point of this thread, and cherrypicking a very small part of everything that's been said to support your argument. Nobody is denying that there are subs who give valid and valuable input that everyone wants access to (see the exchange with Rochsub above, for example); the thread is about a subsection of posters who are a pain. That's all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

The reason why I bring this episode up is because I think there is an overall malaise from Domme women here to discuss their kink, lest they be feeding the wankers.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WantingToServe11

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

The reason why I bring this episode up is because I think there is an overall malaise from Domme women here to discuss their kink, lest they be feeding the wankers.

This whole " I don't wanna share my thoughts on X topic because some guy might wank to it" is almost the dumbest thing I have ever herd. So what if some guy is wanking to it: let him. Why does it matter? How will that effect your life? It doesn't; it's irrelevant to the highest level. To blame that you don't want to discuss your kinks because of evil perverted men is inconceivable. This is a public forum and with that comes immature and irresponsible people. That's life! But, that doesn't prevent you from having a well thought out  discussion on Y kink. It only does that if you let it.

On a side note, you could always ignore those who try to rain on your kinky parade. In addition, don't think about what others might be doing when you share your thoughts on w/e it is your trying to share your thoughts on. Once again, other peoples negative opinion and wanking off shouldn't have any relevancy towards your life or the discussion. Ignore the children and converse with the adults.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm afraid I'm going to have to correct you on this.  Please remember that not everything that is conducted around here is on the open forum.  There is the other side of CM as well and I can promise you that there is a huge increase in the wanker mail when we write on certain topics.  It's like holding up a figurative sign that says "I'm kinky so please send more mail".  In turn, that mail is the most rude that I receive here on CM. 

It sucks a bit in a way, because the things that I enjoy talking about the most (male/male cock sucking, cuckholding and other such sexual activities) bring on the worst crap.  Yes, I can ignore the mail or shut off My profile, but that shouldn't be something that I have to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

Common Topics:
 
Feminization/sissy training - are FemDoms into it or not, and the debate over the issue of "forcing the willing"
CBT/trampling
Anal/strap-on play
Pro vs. Lifestyle dominantion - what's the difference, pros and cons of each
Financial domination - valid fetish or just another name for golddigging?
 
This is just a short list of things I've seen come up in the past couple of months.  Feel free to add.

I'd seperate CBT and trampling, but otherwise, great start

Caging
Gags, hand-over-mouth and speech restriction
CFnm
Chastity, with devices or mental (we might add castration fantasy?)
Orgasm control/denial
Queening & facesitting
Foot fetish
Humiliation
Sadomasochism
Bondage (incl. Predicament bondage)
Dominas seeking female-led relationships vs. Dominatrix
Sub vs slave vs bottom

- LA