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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:36:55 AM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		ok, but is that what it is , kink? for me i kinda take it as being submissive in a sexual manner and being male maybe the ultimate sacrifice a guy would make to show his willingness and be sexually attractive

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:39:06 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Some women do wear subtle signs. I have a tiny pair of handcuffs on my keychain (smaller than thumbcuffs), and I am sometimes found wearing a key on my necklace. The key belongs to a chastity device that I use on ocassion and I only wear the padlock when it is actually in use. But, there are other symbols too that you can look for. Some people enjoy the symbol that looks like a yin-yang sign but with 3 sections instead of two (I can't remember what it's called, tryskel?), some leather folk use a 'hanky system'. Not everyone uses these symbols, but if you do happen to see it, you could always inquire as to its significance.



EFT
Edited again because I don't wear the padlock...lol...that is in use, I wear the key (gawd I need caffeine!)

Same here.  I wear the key on a braclet to clip's lock on his collar.  I still wear My regular keys (with his ownership tag) outside My right front pocket.  I also have the famous purse (stiletto high heeled shoe with chains for strings.... people love it!) and have mini handcuffs dangling on My rear view mirror.  Lots of obvious signs!


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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:43:02 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

ok, but is that what it is , kink? for me i kinda take it as being submissive in a sexual manner and being male maybe the ultimate sacrifice a guy would make to show his willingness and be sexually attractive


Ultimate sacrifice to be sexually willing and attractive... to get what they want? No... that isn't a sacrifice... by my discription of the word. Think again.

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Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:49:27 AM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		yea you are right, its why i joined this site but it seems to be lame , until today, the chat rms here are boring, most of the time it seems like all kids and pervs

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:52:29 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

Some women do wear subtle signs. I have a tiny pair of handcuffs on my keychain (smaller than thumbcuffs), and I am sometimes found wearing a key on my necklace. The key belongs to a chastity device that I use on ocassion and I only wear the padlock when it is actually in use. But, there are other symbols too that you can look for. Some people enjoy the symbol that looks like a yin-yang sign but with 3 sections instead of two (I can't remember what it's called, tryskel?), some leather folk use a 'hanky system'. Not everyone uses these symbols, but if you do happen to see it, you could always inquire as to its significance.



EFT
Edited again because I don't wear the padlock...lol...that is in use, I wear the key (gawd I need caffeine!)

Same here.  I wear the key on a braclet to clip's lock on his collar.  I still wear My regular keys (with his ownership tag) outside My right front pocket.  I also have the famous purse (stiletto high heeled shoe with chains for strings.... people love it!) and have mini handcuffs dangling on My rear view mirror.  Lots of obvious signs!



I don't think I have any obvious signs other than a dominant personality. But if a man flirts with me and I'm interested, he'll get signs really quick.

- LA


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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:54:24 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

yea you are right, its why i joined this site but it seems to be lame , until today, the chat rms here are boring, most of the time it seems like all kids and pervs


Your profile states you've been a member since '06.  Maybe it's time for a profile revamp?  Have you been to any local munches or groups?  http://www.drkdesyre.com/meetppl/orgs/orgsnewyork.html

What sort of effort have you made to connect with others?

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(in reply to smothrme)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:55:23 AM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		ok well to a guy who has been taught his entire life that being a man meant being macho and that would include being in control of everything , for him to submit to any desire that would seem to strip him of that I would think a woman would realize just what she means to him, either in a commited relationship or if just play how very desirable she was to him thus giving her the ultimate rush if that was her thing

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 11:59:53 AM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

thankyou, so the attraction is no differant than any other, except you control it? but are not most males turned off by Dominants


It boils down to chemistry.  The way I move, walk and talk comes across as physically strong and powerful, which is attractive to some men to the point of making them weak in the knees, and makes other men think of me as a good buddy who is more like one of the guys than a frail, fragile flower of femininity, and makes very insecure men scared and angry.  The guys I have chemistry with, the ones who respond appreciatively to my "I am alpha wolf" energy, there can definitely be mutual attraction there.  I also have a lot of male dom buddies, and there's zero chemistry between us but we get along great because we're the same type and have a lot in common.   They would never be attracted to an unsubmissive woman (just as I would not be attracted to a dominant male), but the fact that we absolutely don't want to fuck each other can make for a better buddy-buddy relationship.  I wouldn't say they are "turned off" by me, any more than they are turned off by their male buddies.  We're just not on each other's do-list, and that's cool.

And then there's the insecure assholes who take the mere existence of somebody wired like me as a personal threat to their manhood.  Guys like that may attempt in some way to shame or force me to be more like their ideal of womanhood, and say that I turn them off, but they totally miss the point.  It's fine not to be sexually into every human being you meet, even if they're of your preferred gender.  My aim is definitely not to turn on every guy I meet, and most guys I meet don't turn me on either.  They don't necessarily turn me off either; I just respect their differences as I expect them to respect mine.


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(in reply to smothrme)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:00:10 PM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		Well i have tried to connect by emails in my area and chat rms and it do well, i was starting think i was wasteing my time , this is the first time i have posted here, for some reason i missed the section, but after today and all the responses i have gotten it does offer a new perspective

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:00:45 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		I don't think submission is based solely on kink, no. Nor do I think submission is solely reserved for sexual activity. However, I see domination in several areas. Some women are dominant in vanilla settings (at work only), some are dominant in private venues (only at home), some are dominant in the bedroom only, and some are dominant throughout their entire range of experiences.

I consider myself to be dominant in all settings. Though, I don't go around bossing everyone around, nor do I expect everyone to submit to my will. While I consider myself dominant, I still also consider myself polite, well-mannered, competent, intelligent, attractive, and most importanly, a woman. So, is it just a kink? Not for me, but it is for some.

I think the same goes for submission. Some submit to their fantasies, some submit to the world at large, some submit to one particular person, some submit only in the bedroom. Which are you?

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:04:11 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

ok well to a guy who has been taught his entire life that being a man meant being macho and that would include being in control of everything , for him to submit to any desire that would seem to strip him of that I would think a woman would realize just what she means to him, either in a commited relationship or if just play how very desirable she was to him thus giving her the ultimate rush if that was her thing


This could be a long standing argument in many ways. A man doesn't have to be less macho to be submissive. Whatever he was taught... can be untaught or relearned with the support of the right dominant or educational format. I do not treat a man as less than a dominant man or macho man or me. His strength is found in many ways and even in submission to me, but not because what he does means he is less. I find it even sexier when he is proud of his macho and submits to me because he wants to, with no shame or backlash from social conditioning. That takes strength.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to smothrme)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:06:00 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

Well i have tried to connect by emails in my area and chat rms and it do well, i was starting think i was wasteing my time , this is the first time i have posted here, for some reason i missed the section, but after today and all the responses i have gotten it does offer a new perspective


This comment just makes me smile. I'm glad you found a new perspective and I do hope you find more answers to questions you may have.

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:14:31 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz


quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

Well i have tried to connect by emails in my area and chat rms and it do well, i was starting think i was wasteing my time , this is the first time i have posted here, for some reason i missed the section, but after today and all the responses i have gotten it does offer a new perspective


This comment just makes me smile. I'm glad you found a new perspective and I do hope you find more answers to questions you may have.


Yes and might I point out, for the record, than when a newbie comes to this forum asking honest questions politely, wanting to learn and discuss issues in a adult and open fashion, he gets 3 pages of fabulous and generous advice from 7 regular Collarme Dommes in just a little over 2 hours on a Monday...

Let this be an example!

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:22:21 PM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		Which am I you ask? Well I dont submit to the world at large never will, i have been a leader my entire life. however I adore strong, assertive, women not over the top kind that want you to be less of a man but the kind that want to be worshipped and adored and will settle for nothing less , not just kink though it definately has its place with me, i get total satisfaction from every aspect , mental, emotional and yes sexual by pleaseing the woman im into

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:24:21 PM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		Yes and Thank you

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:26:18 PM   
LadyChallene


Posts: 207
Joined: 5/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme
Yes that is True, but I wont find them at the local foodmart or even watering hole.


Contrary to how I would like to live ... I actually DO My own grocery shopping. Sure I will take another with Me from time to time, but generally, I am someone you would meet at your local food mart or the corner shop for a gallon of milk or pack of gum at any hour of any day. I don't have two heads ... three eyes (spaced unevenly) ... or any other such oddity/detraction. But you stand a good chance of running across Me (alone or with another) in the local hardware or fix-it shop buying things that are generic and kink inspired materials.

If you are currently unattached, free and wanting to change your relationship 'status', then take a chance ... chat up someone ... somewhere you feel comfortable and secure. They may not be interested, may not have that 'chemistry', personality ... whatever. However, you stand a greater chance of having some fun, finding someone that has something in common with you and have the availability to explore scenes and one another ... then if you simply sat back, passive and just hoping that someone will stumble over you. Honest, I did not mean that last comment as an accusation/attack. I sincerely apologize if it comes across like that to you.


Sincere regards,

Lady Challene

< Message edited by LadyChallene -- 1/25/2010 12:41:06 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:28:01 PM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		yea that was exactally what i meant , that no matter how he was conditioned he will let it all go to hell because he wants to please her, it is difficult for men but if the heart is right they will and have no regrets

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:29:02 PM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		Then you just answered your own question . For you, at least, it isn't all about kink. Now that you know that, seek out women who feel the same way. Yes, easier said than done, but it's a start in the right direction.

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(in reply to smothrme)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:31:55 PM   
smothrme


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		no not at all, no offense taken. i no what you are saying, i dont just sit back, however this site well seemed lame till today and out in the world the stepford wives just dont do it for me anymore.

(in reply to LadyChallene)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 12:32:00 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

Well i have tried to connect by emails in my area and chat rms and it do well, i was starting think i was wasteing my time , this is the first time i have posted here, for some reason i missed the section, but after today and all the responses i have gotten it does offer a new perspective


Okay, I'll agree it isn't always easy to find what you want but....effort and patience.  I would suggest if this is the main way you're looking for a partner that you take a good hard look at your profile.  A profile is nothing more than an advertisement and you are the product being sold.  How do you portray yourself?  What do you offer about who you are and what you're looking for.  Do you mention what you bring to the table?  Any special skills or interests you could mention that might grab a woman's attention?  How do you stand apart from all the other submissive men here?  Stay positive and try not to get snippy about the people you want to call fakes and scammers.  We all know they exist and the more someone rants about them in their profile or journal, the sillier they look...imo.

Next...welcome to the boards, this is a good place to let others get a feel for who you are.  If you aren't willing for whatever reason to get out in your local bdsm community (and let me tell you, NY is crawling with groups and organizations...just check out the link I posted) then you can use this place, the CM message boards and the profile side, as your community...albeit online.  Check THIS link out for online etiquitte.

Good luck and just remember...don't kneel down to a police woman unless you're ready to deal with the outcome...which probably won't be what you're fantasizing about

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 1/25/2010 12:38:11 PM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to smothrme)
Profile   Post #: 60
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