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Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perhaps ... - 1/27/2010 5:14:06 PM

winterlight

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now he wants to me to drive somewhere on Thurs. night and meet him?

Yeah, right!

I don't know him, don't know anybody else that can vouch for him, the list goes on and on..

shakes her head...

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:19:22 PM

InControl754

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight
now he wants to me to drive somewhere on Thurs. night and meet him?

Is he inviting you to a cemetary, or to a coffee shop?

If it is the latter of the two, why won't you meet him (assuming it isn't 500 miles away). You say you want to meet Doms in RT in you profile. Here is your chance. you never know - you might hit it off immediately.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:28:22 PM

winterlight

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1. It is too far for me to drive.
2. I have to get up and go to work in the morning
3. I was thinking more locally to meet a Dom
4. Yes, I have been to munches but haven't met anybody yet.
5. I have been cautioned by many in the past to never meet somebody i don't know and especially not in a place where i don't know anybody nor the layout.
6. Was told to take a friend and I dont have anybody to go with me.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:44:50 PM

kiwisub12

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Heck , if you are meeting in a cafe, go meet him. I realise that people will tell you how dangerous it is to meet people you don't know - but if we just stuck with people we know, we would be reproducing with our own families!

Sooner or later, we have to meet new people. Having to get up the next day is an excellent reason not to meet him, but don't let fear stop you. If he strikes a cord with you, make arrangements to meet him somewhere that you feel comfortable- you know, a bookstore or cafe. To me you can learn more about someone in one meet than months of online chat. And if you don't feel that spark, politely tell him so. Then all you have lost is a bit of petrol and time.

Of course, i am assuming that his emails said a bit more than hi, meet me Thursday!

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:50:20 PM

Lockit

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Fast reply....

Why can't he drive to meet her at a place closer to her? Why is it that she has to be put out or be ready to go and do and extend herself for a stranger? If he really had good intentions, why is she expected to do all the work to meet?

Hurry up wench and get your ass to me... go away from your home area at your own expense and do it this Thursday. Naw...

< Message edited by Lockit -- 1/27/2010 5:51:11 PM >

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:51:27 PM

DesFIP

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I can understand the driving a long distance thing.

So why not tell him you can't do that, but if he's available you will meet him in a coffee shop in your town.

You don't need a chaperone to go into a Starbuck's ffs.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 5:53:04 PM

LafayetteLady

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

1. It is too far for me to drive. So he isn't local, why have a conversation with him to start with? Why not say simply "I'm sorry, but you are geographically undesirable?"
2. I have to get up and go to work in the morning So you could have suggested another day when that wasn't a problem
3. I was thinking more locally to meet a Dom Again, since he wasn't local, why even continue the correspondence?
4. Yes, I have been to munches but haven't met anybody yet. These things can and do take time.
5. I have been cautioned by many in the past to never meet somebody i don't know Then you shouldn't even be looking here, because until you meet them, you won't know them.
and especially not in a place where i don't know anybody nor the layout. If you have any interest in the guy, suggest something closer to you, and again, if it is a coffee shop or something innocuous, you will be relatively safe.
6. Was told to take a friend and I dont have anybody to go with me. Kind of hard to get to know someone when you have a friend sitting next to you in my opinion.

Honestly, it sounds like you either weren't interested in this particular guy or are just making excuses why you shouldn't meet someone. If you want someone local, then don't have the conversations with people out of your geographical desirable zone. We all have our "time frames" that we want to "talk" with someone via computer before moving to phone, then to in person meeting. If someone's time frame is much shorter than yours, explain that. If there is chemistry and they are that interested, they will compromise and wait a bit longer.

Honestly, I know that we all need to be "safe." But I also think that it is a very small minority of people here that would turn out to be psychotic stalkers or the like. As long as the line is drawn in the sand that you aren't going to play on a first meet, that you meet in a public, well populated place, then safety is not such a huge issue that it is insurmountable. I think making those first meetings for coffee during the day is usually best. Preferably on a Saturday or Sunday. Daytime just seems to say "short" meeting, coffee keeps the alchohol away, and those weekend days during daylight are usually a good indicator whether someone is single or not (since the marrieds typically aren't so readily available during the weekend).

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:22:19 PM

KatyLied

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quote:

You don't need a chaperone to go into a Starbuck's ffs.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:28:28 PM

littlewonder

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I took a train 4 hours away to meet Master the first time and stayed the weekend <shrug>.

If you feel comfortable enough to meet someone then meet them. Otherwise don't. It's not that hard a choice really or any different than meeting someone at a bar.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:33:21 PM

lronitulstahp

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littlewonder....

to be fair, it's highly unlikely that this guy is as hot as your Master. *drool*
Otherwise, the OP might be here defending her reasons for WANTING to go....

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:33:28 PM

juliaoceania

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If the person was fairly local to me I would meet them after only a few paragraphs if their profile appealed... although it would be a few miles away from my residence and it would be middle of the day and a public place, etc...

Why not?

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:53:07 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

littlewonder....

to be fair, it's highly unlikely that this guy is as hot as your Master. *drool*
Otherwise, the OP might be here defending her reasons for WANTING to go....

You've got a point!

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 6:56:08 PM

PyrotheClown

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so does this mean I won't be seeing you thursday night?aw, but mother was soo excited to meet you lol

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 7:20:01 PM

sexyred1

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OP, not sure what the issue is. Has he written to you a few times and just now finally asked you to meet him? Or did he just write out of the blue and say meet me slut?

We are all adults and I don't think you need to have a friend accompany you on a meet; I mean really now. Just meet in a public place, at a distance, time and place of YOUR convenience.

If you are interested enough after a phone call (I would never meet without speaking on the phone and seeing a photo), then go with no expectations other than an interesting few hours.

If you have any red flags or disinterest, then say not interested and move on. No need to ask the board about this; it is a common thing, meeting in real life.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 11:04:38 PM

winterlight

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I am all for meeting during the daytime. No problem there. But at night and a long drive to get home and go to bed and get up for work. Nope...

I didn't contact this person. He contacted me which if fine and dandy but wanting/asking me to meet on a weeknight...see above...

Am I paranoid no. I am the one responsbile for my safety. ME!

My take get to know me for a bit then see about arranging to meet me if you are local to me. Driving 1 1/2 hours or more is more easily accomplished in the daytime and that is one way..

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 11:17:38 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I am all for meeting during the daytime. No problem there. But at night and a long drive to get home and go to bed and get up for work. Nope...

I didn't contact this person. He contacted me which if fine and dandy but wanting/asking me to meet on a weeknight...see above...

Am I paranoid no. I am the one responsbile for my safety. ME!

My take get to know me for a bit then see about arranging to meet me if you are local to me. Driving 1 1/2 hours or more is more easily accomplished in the daytime and that is one way..

Look, you are not the only one who has been asked to meet at a time and place you consider inappropriate. Just do what you need to do. Simple. If you are interested in meeting this guy then you set up a time and place that will be agreeable to BOTH of you. If he will ONLY meet you this ONE night at the CERTAIN place....then he's not worth your trouble.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 11:20:33 PM

LafayetteLady

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But apparently, unless we are all missing something, you did exchange a couple of emails with this person, right? As I said earlier, some people's "time frame" will be different than yours.

Now if he sent you an email, you responded and then he said in the next one "let's meet," perhaps he is rushing things a bit, but many people just don't see any point to lengthy email exchanges. Again, it is up to you to just say "I'm sorry, but I think it is a bit too soon for my comfort level to meet yet."

If there were a few emails and he suggested meeting and you have an interest, you simply explain "I'm sorry, but my work schedule really isn't conducive to such a long drive when I have to go to work the next day. The weekend would work much better for me, or you could drive to my area."

If it was a first email and he said "let's meet" before you even responded once, then laugh and move on.

If he "demanded" that you drive to meet him, and you haven't reach that point yet, then you laugh and move on.

Honestly, I really don't see what the big issue is here based on the little bit of information you gave.

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 11:21:41 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I am all for meeting during the daytime. No problem there. But at night and a long drive to get home and go to bed and get up for work. Nope...

I didn't contact this person. He contacted me which if fine and dandy but wanting/asking me to meet on a weeknight...see above...

Am I paranoid no. I am the one responsbile for my safety. ME!

My take get to know me for a bit then see about arranging to meet me if you are local to me. Driving 1 1/2 hours or more is more easily accomplished in the daytime and that is one way..

I am wondering why you asked this on the forum.. I mean it seems rather simple to me. Like Peppermint said, you tell the dude what your issues are with his suggestion... tell him what would make you more comfortable, etc. If he cannot accept that you have a life he would make piss poor relationship material so one less person you have to weed through to find your domly one....

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/27/2010 11:39:09 PM

CalifChick

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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

I am all for meeting during the daytime.

Really?? Cuz at first you said, "I don't know him, don't know anybody else that can vouch for him, the list goes on and on.. "

And then when people suggested you were overreacting, you backpedaled.

quote:

But at night and a long drive to get home and go to bed and get up for work. Nope...

Perfectly reasonable objection. However, a 45 minute drive (meeting halfway) isn't terribly bad if you leave at 6pm, meet at 7 pm, and leave by 8:30 pm... you'll be home before 10pm.

quote:

Am I paranoid no. I am the one responsbile for my safety. ME!

It's just a coffee date. Seriously. I don't think that Starbucks and Dennys are havens of rape and murder these days.

quote:

My take get to know me for a bit then see about arranging to meet me if you are local to me.

Actually, the best way to get to know someone IS face-to-face. The longer time you spend getting to know each other WITHOUT meeting, the longer each of you will spend forming impressions in your head of what the other person is like. After a while, there is almost no way the other person can stand up against what is in your head. Another aspect to waiting is that when you finally do meet, there may be absolutely zero chemistry, and it's usually better to find that out sooner rather than later.

Cali

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RE: Dom contacts me here on cm and a few sentences perh... - 1/28/2010 1:36:02 AM

wandersalone

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PyrotheClown

so does this mean I won't be seeing you thursday night?aw, but mother was soo excited to meet you lol

Pyro!!!!!! Where have you been hiding? Oh so this is how it is hey..... this is how I find out that you have found someone else hmmpphhh?

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