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RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 12:28:34 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		 When I pop my clogs anyone that stumbles upon anything that upsets them , other than the fact that I'm dead, is unlikely to be welcome.

No-one's going to *happen* across anything ......they know where it's kept. If they don't know, then it'd be unlikely my kids would let them rifle through "Mama's things", anyhow.

I really don't give a fig whether my approval rating goes down ..... I'm dead! ...past caring.

My 15 yr old said he'd just think * Ah, classic Mum*..if he came *across anything he hadn't, to date.

Either keep your nose out of my personal stuff, or leave it to the people that aren't going to have fifty fits.( ie my children). Anyone that's likely to be confused or shocked wouldn't get through the front door in the first place, in reality.

Anyone that has any kind of depth of  relationship with me knows what I'm up to..... for the one's that don't, well, I don't care..now, or when I'm dead...... If it bothers you , then console yourself with the fact that I'm dead and you're not, if you *didn't know me* ....... it was for a reason...blah blah.

My parents are sauntering into their 80's, if I croak before they do, I think that'd be more of a piss-take than anything I've been part of.  The plan is that they fuck off before I do and *I* get to enjoy all their pervy secrets! ( My Mum keeps telling me where to find HER vibe....and wants me to stash it...lol)

I hope they both live as long and as dirty as they hope..I reckon they'd both applaud me for doing so, if they had the chance of chucking me in a deep hole first..... I envisage being lowered to a bit of a resounding hand clap!.

agirl


















(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 12:49:08 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		This thread is causing flashbacks to my going outside and seeing my 6 and 8 year olds outside in the center of the cul-de-sac playing light saber/swords with my dildos....ugh

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 12:50:47 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Oh my.........I am sorry, but that is funny!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 1:26:45 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

There is a difference between being ashamed and wanting privacy. I'm a relatively private person and my sex life is private to me.


This is how we feel. After my mother passed away a decade ago we had to go through her thing, like old bank account statements, letters, the divorce papers from my dad, etc.
There was nothing salacious, but the intimacy of poring over something very personal and private was just a trifle uncomfortable.

I think its appropriate we maintain a boundary of intimacy, into which we let very few in.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 1:30:20 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Shoot - i'm not ashamed of what i do - but, as in life, i don't share details of what i do with my kids (who would be the ones to go through my stuff), in death, they don't need to have too much information about what i enjoyed.

Just maintaining the status quo!

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 1:36:52 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		What a good honest thread...and many people are answering honestly which does not happen here often.

My answer will be like some here...I had recent life threading surgery and like others did not want my family to be embarrassed if they found my toys on top of my death...It would have just made things harder. So I bagged them up and sent them to a friend. Some older families like mine are less likely to be understanding of alternate lifestyles then younger ones…at least I know this to be true of my family.

The second part is harder to answer...but if I am honest yes I am ashamed of my perversions. I know to many here they are not perversions but it is hard to overcome my upbringing.

Even though I am often ashamed of my actions as perverse I don’t look down on anyone for their actions and don’t think of them as perverse…It is just a personal feeling within myself for myself.

Butch


_____________________________

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RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 1:37:50 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

What a good honest thread...and many people are answering honestly which does not happen here often.





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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 2:14:05 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, cuz I lie all the time yanno.

I am really a 25 yo, totally hetro, 5'10" blonde. Playboy bunny type. 38-22-35, double D cup, bimbette. And I waste time here in-between photo shoots because I am like.........so bored.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 2:23:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I have to tell you folks, that after my mother died the last thing my sister and I needed was to open up the bedside table and find her collection of dildos. A full cabinet worth. Now we knew she had an active sex life, and were happy she was satisfied but this qualified as TMI. I didn't need to know that she went for the oversized models. Really would have been much happier if I had found a bag labeled sex toys and could have thrown it out sight unseen.

I hope to God, I don't go reorganizing my college kid's closet and find anything she stashed there. I don't want to know what she prefers.

And I hope The Man and I don't die in the same car crash, sticking my kids with the shock of opening the suitcase in the closet and discovering what we have. They no more need to know exactly what I'm into than I need to come out for breakfast and be all sparkly about having had cuffs on all night and my nipples are too sore for anything. Any more than I need to spell it out for them that I bought Thin Mint Ice Cream and not strawberry because he ordered me ages ago to never again buy a fruit ice cream.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 2:41:42 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Oh my.........I am sorry, but that is funny!!


Looking back, it is pretty humorous but at the time I was mortified! 

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 5:28:52 PM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		Really, I am not.  When I die, and my family goes through my stuff, I know they will just roll their eyes and laugh.

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(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 6:30:54 PM   
afterforever


Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
Status: offline 		My parents and my brother wouldn't be at all surprised at anything they found in my house. My adopted mum leaves her vibrators lying around their house all the time, hangs up her maid's outfit on the washing line, etc. My slutty wee brother has many toys up on his wall, mirror on the ceiling, leather bed, although he drew the line at the hanging lube dispenser I got him, which I thought would have brought the whole effect together nicely personally. My friends are all kinky 'nilla and wouldn't bat an eyelid at my stuff. The only people would might be upset are my grandparents and I'd like to think no one would let them go through my stuff anyway.

I don't have anything particularly shocking though, just vibes, impactables, rope and stuff. Maybe I should buy a gimp mask to give my brother a laugh just in case this situation arises.

(in reply to slavekal)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 6:33:01 PM   
sweetboundesire


Posts: 285
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666

Not sure if this is the right forum, so please move it if it isn't.

I work at an adult store and we have a lot of female military personnel that come in to buy toys. If they know they are going overseas, they will throw out what they have because they don't want any of it found if (god forbid) something happens to them while they are gone. (I only bring them up because the first time I heard something like that was from them)

I know a few people who worry about things like that. (Not just military personnel) If they suddenly died and family or friends were clearing out their belongings and happened across their toys or bondage gear.

Are we ashamed, deep down about what we do that we worry about how people will react after we're dead and gone? Do you really think their opinion of you would change? Whether it's lifestyle or just a vanilla with toys.

We are all sexual beings, there is nothing wrong with embracing the sexual part of yourself, nor embracing the kinky part.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense, it's early.





I have a friend who takes care of this for many of his friends...
he offered me his services but i have my sister
i think somethings are better left unknown...if you have children...ect...
my 2cents.

_____________________________

and every broken line seems to have a particular design~
and the universe can only expand.
gotta pocket full of dreams and cash in my hand.
and i know, money ain't real...

(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 6:39:40 PM   
Elizabeth666


Posts: 288
Joined: 10/14/2009
Status: offline 		I appreciate everyone's replies and comments. It's interesting to see everyone's different views on this :D

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"The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt"

(in reply to sweetboundesire)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 6:44:08 PM   
afkarr


Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline 		Let's just say I hope I die in an accident that completely destroys my vehicle, would solve the problem.

It's not just the kinky world that hides things- my FIL had very specific instructions for the hubby- "When I die, get the tapes out of the back of my closet before your mother finds them."

I don't think it's matter of shame as much as having some consideration for those left behind.

(in reply to sweetboundesire)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 7:38:50 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I'm not ashamed though I am a highly private person... about person details.  Not about general interests.  D/s and BDSM are part of my everday life, not just part of my sexuality (in fact, little to do with my sexuality), so it'd be a lot of lying and avoiding to keep such from those close to me... So I'm very "out" while keeping my personal details private as suits me.

For example, I have a suspension rack a dear friend made for me set up in my bedroom.  When my sister and mother come to visit soon they'll be sleeping in that room with it.  They're not gonna care much as no one is gonna be attached to it while they're here. *shrugs*

Dildoes and such... mom wouldn't be thrilled to find them, but she's already pretty sure I own them so it's not going be any shock. -Especially not compared to me being recently dead.

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 7:44:34 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i used to not be ashamed but then i came on cm, now i am

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 8:12:53 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		No shame here. Not really all that concerned if someone finds my toys. While I don't keep them in the open, it's not like anyone who is close to me would be surprised. My child is now an adult. She knows I'm sexually different. She wouldn't be surprised. She would probably just think "eeww gross" and throw them out. My sisters would probably be the same way but I can't see  how on God's green earth they would ever find them being that we don't even live near each other and rarely visit each other. If I died it would be either Master or my daughter going through my stuff.

Nope, no concerns at all.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 8:13:15 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		If its no one's else's business while you're alive, why should it be when you're dead?

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(in reply to Elizabeth666)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Are we ashamed? - 1/29/2010 8:16:20 PM   
S1L1


Posts: 91
Joined: 5/31/2009
From: Upstate South Carolina
Status: offline 		Considering the extensive nature of my collection (over 100 items of gags, masks, hoods, jackets, cuffs, shackles, etc). and the fact that i have a bunch more stuff that I sell on eBay... my parents would be in for quite a surprise.

At this point they don't know a thing and I intend to keep it that way. Don't really care what anyone thinks when they find all of this - but unless someone asks me specifically if I am into this type of thing it remains private and not for public consumption. Why advertise that which isn't anyone elses business?

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 60
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