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Icarys -> RE: Expectation vs Reality (2/15/2010 6:09:37 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
quote:
ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
MasterSlaveLA -- and everyone else -- I made the mistake of posting the photo of the man in that picture MasterSlaveLA posted. I wish I hadn't. He's the deceased master of a semi-regular poster here, and I really hurt her feelings. I know that's an easy-to-find image, but it turns out he was in the lifestyle, and his widow is an active CollarMe member.
Redmagic's response here is basically all that needed or should have been said regarding this matter. It's none judgmentmental and pretty much covers all sides/issues in the matter.
Icarys buddy, you don't seem to let up on trying to make people feel far worse than they already do. You are playing the verbal humilation game for real here for some unapparent reason of personal motivation.
You seem to be rather blind sided to seeing things from different perspectives, where's your own thoughtfulness in regards to things here? You could have sent private emails to MasterSlaveLA and whomever else. Instead you open up with name calling "Assholes" right here in a post on public forum. You did this after MasterSlaveLA clearly expressed regret for her own actions. Nice that you want to pour salt on an open wound, or otherwise kick somebody when they are feeling bad. I'm going to sincerely say this and mean this, I'd hate to be your submissive. I'm not trying to be a smart ass nor wise ass about it. What I just expressed is not a joke nor some form of mindless insult either. It's based upon my observation, and how I'm sizing things up at the moment.
What I'm about to express, may become your personal affirmation that I'm indeed part of the collective known as "Assholes" which have posted to this thread. It appears that I've already been judged in that manner anyways, so I have no fear of the "Asshole" label sub-title. Above all else, I'm a human being. I assure you that I have a full range and set of working emotions. I'm not 100% perfect nor fault free. Sorry Icarys my name ain't Jesus and God did not put me on the face of this earth. My name ain't Budda either, nor am I Buddist. I seem to have fallen off whatever conceived Pedstal/Standards you have.
I'm going to say this publically, attempt to explain myself as best I can. This may become a shock for some people to read. However, it's Raw Pure Unadultered Truth. I'm not gonna play the Jack Nickelson game with "You can't handle the truth". This is the truth, I'm not going to pretend that I did not mean anything I expressed in any of my posts. I'm not going to even apologize for it. I said things in humor that I actually meant. I'm going to explain why I meant those things, and if you want to take sticks and stones to me, so be it. At the very least my integrity will not have been compromised for the sake of placating anothers blood thirst for Guilt Tripping/Shaming/Humilating. I will not scarifice my integrity for the sake of sparing feelings either.
I said what I did, I take 100% ownership of what I said, I'm also gonna stand by it 100%. I took a day to reflect upon this matter personally even.
My comments regarding how that picture hurt my mind. I was being 100% honest about it. Pictures with extremely large naked people don't sit well in my mind, never have, never will, and I'm not gonna pretend otherwise about it. Some people have pictures like that on their cell phones and show it off to people for a reaction. I actually use the "Hide" profile feature on the other side of CM, to block any profiles with pictures that have this effect upon me. I have used "HIDE" far more than I have Add to Favorites. I will openly admit it, the reason why I use it and I'm very Thankful that CM has this feature. It is impossible for me to sincerely Apologize for the comments I made, because that would make me a Liar. You can attempt to push, bully or berate me in an attempt to make me feel bad for the effects that Picture of Extremely Large Naked people have upon me. It's not gonna make me feel an once of guilt. The sight of said pictures disturbs and I want to burn the images from my mind upon seeing them. Hence my remarks about killing brain cells with Shots of Jeagermister.
This post may appear to be somewhat insensitive towards the deceased guy and even his significant other. My empathy is somewhat limited, I'm not giving out special limited edition empathy for dead people today. I reflected upon this matter. The difference between somebody being Dead or Alive. Let me explain the reason why. That picture did not magically find it's way to the internet. Somebody made a choice or decision to post it. I have no Empathy for those that knowingly/willingfully subject themselves to becoming a target or brunt of humor and degradation. It could be argued that this was not the intent at the time the picture was taken and released. I don't have Empathy for their own lack of forethought/judgement on this matter. Why should I magically feel different just because they are deceased. It was a very bone headed move when they were alive. There's something to be said for the legacy we leave behind after death, this includes our own decisions and choices that were not the brightest.
It's painfully obvious that this picture has become popular in the Public Domain, and it's use. Yes. it's used in very comical or funny ways, in degrading ways and otherwise demeaning ways. Perhaps the guy in the picture enjoyed the attention, perhaps he takes no True Insult to it, then again perhaps he was mortally crushed by it. To rush to judgement and to assume that this guy was deeply embrassed and is a victim of this negative attention become rather subjective according our own Personal Projections. This guy obviously had a reasonable level of self esteem, else he would not have permitted somebody to take a picture of him naked in a chair in front of a PC. For all we know he could have relished in the fact people use his picture in the manner that they do.
I'm not making this post to mindlessly hurt or offend anybody, but rather to be blunt ass honest. If I'm gonna be tossed into a group that's label "assholes" I'm going to run with it. Not gonna try to cover myself up with fig leaves and run and hide.
I did feel bad after reading RedMagic's post to the thread, in fact I emailed him on the other side. Mind you, from his own experience and interaction with this girl appears to be legit, however it's just this, that she seems legit. There is an assumed truth that this guy really is a deceased Master of girl that's a member of this website. There is a degree of Hearsay in the matter. However, in cases like this benefit of the doubt is best to be given. Perhaps I'm too cynical at times, however there are people that will go to lengths for sympathy and attention using extremely less than ethical means to obtain it. There simply is not enough to factually go on. We all may be working off from either a TRUE or FALSE premise that this guy was her Master and that he's did. For all we know he could be still alive and not even her Master.
I don't see anybody expressing concerns about the misuse of the girls picture that was part of the image. I guess if your skinny attractive and beautiful you can be used in Demeaning ways and nobody is gonna think twice about. but we won't talk about her at all. Let's give the big naked guy all the attention. Amazing how morals and values shift around... only apply to certain people, or types of people.
In regards to the Whole Image itself. There was a message that was expressed, regarding Expectations and Reality. Some people or things ain't what it always appears to be.
Expections of civil behavior and the reality of things can be a little tricky as well. I've sincerely have wrote way too much in this post. It's not exactly a pretty topic or issue that I'm responding to.
When it comes to humor and jokes. It's a bit of a no brainer that it's at the expense of somebody else most of the time. There is a certain degree of Sadistic nature in jokes/humor... there is also a degree of truth, else it would not be funny.
I am Empathic regarding anybody's loss of a Loved one, it's sad affair, and I truely am moved by bad news of other peoples death. Last year I went through some deep personal losses. I am not totally insensitive regarding things. I am a human being with a full range of working emotions and I'm not perfect. I can assure anybody that I will fall from whatever pedastal they place me upon.
I'll try to keep this response concise. This will be my last post on the subject.
A: I'm fully aware of her and anyone else's perspective on this. I understand the "attempt" at humor and why they think it was okay.
Try to understand mine...nobody has gotten that yet......I'll add this my posting skills are not the best when it comes to responding..especially to posts like yours. I would enjoy pointing out every mark of either agreement or disagreement I have regarding this but your posts are just way too much and I don't have the interests(not that much anyway) to do so. I do read them however and find you most of the time insightful.. I am a little surprised that you found that funny. It's okay to laugh, even when we shouldn't at times because as you put it..none of us are perfect...but do we feel bad when realize it's improper to do so? Some do some don't and some just excuse it away. It's the nature of all things "human"
B:If it had been your picture or your mothers..a sisters..a friend used in a negative way, would you have laughed? All of these pictures floating around are of real human beings..I don't know where she got them but it's obvious to me that in the case of the larger fella..the widow didn't want it posted...A whole lot of messes like this could in the future be done away with if people stopped and put themselves into the shoes of others..Which of course you don't think I do but that's exactly what I am doing. Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should..that brings me to the next point. Being public domain doesn't make it any better. Making out that he might have liked it is flimsy as well because we couldn't be sure. So as you put it..Maybe we should choose to be a little more cautious. Oh and BTW the females picture although not authorized by anyone either wasn't the negative focus of the joke..the big guy was and to me that's no better than any other prejudice against another human being.(The big guy)
C: The mere fact that you felt compelled to say anything about a slave in regards to me says the exact opposite..you were in fact trying to insult me. It's just a passive aggressive form of doing it. Veiled as it is. It's okay though, I'm use to those as well as the more blatant attacks.
D: I apologize for the calling of names. It's not my usual way of operating.
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