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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 9:23:20 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

In all my public play and viewing I have never seen anyone with their "cock in their hand".
You really shouldnt judge that which you dont know. Public spaces are very good for meeting like minded people AND for learning about the right way to do things to keep a sub safe. Every club has monthly workshops. Yes, Its different from private play but still it serves a very good purpose that should not be looked down on without even a "look see".


Hi Lushy, maybe it's because it's NYC but all the times I have been to public clubs, there were huge amounts of men who were showing their cocks to anyone and everyone. It was mostly submissive men (no offense to any submissive men at all here). So it does happen and I have also seen some great workshops.

But I agree that the lack of intimacy, for me, is what prevented me from public play and why I am not into it.


Really I have never had that happen in a club in chicago. And in chicago penetration is allowed so I have scene some fuckin and CBT and even someone who was painted and then rode like a horsey. But never have I seen someone's cock in their own hand.

Public Play may lack intimacy. But I view it as a different animal. Its social and its learning. That to me is important. Especially knowing someone I play with has been to the many workshops. Plus the fact that playing with someone new is much safer with people around looking after you.

d
ahhhhh...penetration was never allowed in any NYC clubs that I know of, at least back in the day. In a private home party, sure, and then things seemed hotter.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 9:46:22 AM   
MistressTonya2u


Posts: 140
Joined: 12/20/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair






The subs who want to tell you how they will serve, when they will serve and what exactly you will do to them, all when they worship you. I hate being a prop.



DV



This.

(in reply to VampiresLair)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 10:11:45 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		I can't stand the performing art.

The master floggers with their twin works of art that are juggled with expertise onto the back of a bored submissive or the master caners that can create all sorts of intricate patterns on to rosey cheeks in front of an audience going 'oooh ahhh!'. The bull whipers that can split a pubic hair in one strike and all the dominants that have spent years perfecting this artistic bullshit.

I also can't get my head around all this leather stuff. Leather men? leather families? leather experience? I don't even like the leather look. It just reminds me of Village People.

I also hate it when people put down those of us that enjoy public play by stating that its about being a performer and the response is only for those watching.
They clearly don't understand. For many that do public play its about the vibe, about the equipment, about being able to humiliate in front of consensual voyeurs (even a voyeur with his cock in his hand!) Public play is about being able to use what is going on around you and not (for the majority) about being performing muppet.
There is a huge misconception about public players. If you like it you will love it and if you don't you will probably hate it but I can't stand labels being put on us by the ones that hate it.


< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 1/31/2010 10:42:51 AM >

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 11:35:14 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

People who use bdsm or D/s as an excuse to suspend rational thought or as a escape from dealing with real life. 


Yeah, or as they so often call it, "sub frenzy." That's my number one pet peeve and most of my others have already been mentioned. Stella hit the nail on the head for me with this: "The sanctimonious neonazi attitudes from those purporting to be 'enlightened' or 'aware.'" Also, this from Loki45: "how about those who think their way is the ultimate and they 'earned their leathers, spurs, etc.' and are somehow superior to you because you never found it necessary to join some group with made-up rules in order to be a twue dominant." Great stuff and how true! Another irritant are those who set themselves up as judge of how others should "safely" do things and if others don't, they're somehow less than. If you want to be the hall monitor, go ahead, but stay out of my business. That's the major ones anyway..........luci




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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 2:18:20 PM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair
Oh, and the last but not least the male doms who think every female dom is really a sub who hasnt found a "good enough" man to teach her how to submit. Ditto for the female doms who think that way about men.


Well, that's just because in this ever-changing lifestyle, we keep seeing profiles where the woman professes to be superdomme, and yet has a Master or vice versa. Mix that with the ever-shrinking pool of actual submissives, and people are forced to improvise.


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'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 2:20:19 PM   
Loki45


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
1. married guys; doms & switches masquerading as subs; and other liars


What about married women?


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"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 2:24:39 PM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
I can't stand the performing art.

The master floggers with their twin works of art that are juggled with expertise onto the back of a bored submissive or the master caners that can create all sorts of intricate patterns on to rosey cheeks in front of an audience going 'oooh ahhh!'. The bull whipers that can split a pubic hair in one strike and all the dominants that have spent years perfecting this artistic bullshit.

I also can't get my head around all this leather stuff. Leather men? leather families? leather experience? I don't even like the leather look. It just reminds me of Village People.


Ditto on both of these.


_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 2:27:44 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you A/all

LOL @ Marc2b

These are great..

< Message edited by winterlight -- 1/31/2010 2:28:04 PM >

(in reply to Loki45)
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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 2:45:36 PM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Loki45

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu
1. married guys; doms & switches masquerading as subs; and other liars


What about married women?



Oh come on!   LOL

(in reply to Loki45)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 3:34:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Where would I begin?? There's sooo many different things!

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 3:51:04 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline
Note the milk thing was hilarious...
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

But at a political action level, it actively pisses me off that someone with a dungeon and "slaves" would be nodding along as Rush Limbaugh sneers about how there is no "right to privacy" in the constitution. People who claim this "lifestyle" as a privilege for themselves but would not extend the respect for autonomy to their fellow citizens. Those people piss me off. Which is part of the reason I rarely venture to the politics forum here.


Very much so, it's so hypocritical? I don't ever venture onto the political boards, but somehow having a "liberal politics" as a "lives for" item and "conservative politics" as a "hard limit" on my profile, ppl seek me out to debate, which can be fun, for me anyway.

Hmm also, the Domly doms and their affiliated entourage who insist on calling themselves "Master Hogwart Longdick the magnificent" or something equally inane. All I picture is a terrible wizard tattoo from the 80s holding a crystal ball with sparkles.  Totally lame. 

All the people who like goth and kink b/c they get to wear all black and somehow that's slimming. No, slimming would be losing 100 pounds, and sorry, the corset doesn't cover the back boobs, so no one is fooled.

And last but not least, the ever evolving relationship status. Fet it's more obvious but I swear ppl change their "slave to" "mentored by" "in a leather family with" "teaching" blah blah statuses more often than they change their underwear.  If that's even close to true, MAN time to step back and consider that you might have some ISSUES. 

Rant over, resume regularly scheduled programming


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(in reply to Lucienne)
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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 4:15:23 PM   
JohnSteed1967


Posts: 304
Joined: 5/29/2005
From: Columbia SC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Is there anything that you cannot stand in regards to it as far as play, people or anything else?
  Yes, there are lots of things  
  1. my kink is better than your kink
  2. I am into bdsm your just sick
  3. people playing destructive mind game ergo, not SSC
  4. GOR However I will say this 90% of the women claiming to be Kajira are HOT AS HELL
  5. intolerant people.....Oh wait did I mention that already
  6. immature and want to be Doms who come into a females life and have no intention of being a real Dom they just want Kinky sex and when they are done, kick the subs to the curb and damage them so badly that when real honest men come along that they spend forever trying to fix the damage that was done.
But I don't have problems with people in the lifestyle NOOOOOOOOO!

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 4:55:29 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

This reminds me of the classic "Houseplants of Gor" parody. I can just see it now:



The very notion of "Houseplants of Gor" has me sufficiently giggly that I'm afraid to click on the link lest I be disappointed.



"Houseplants" has been on my profile for times immemorial  . But of course, of course, nobody ever goes there to check it out. It is soooooo wasted *sigh*.

What pisses me off is the notion that everything goes. The moral relativism that somehow, if someone wants to get killed or maimed, it's alright, and that nobody should argue against it, because it's their own personal decision, so it's all cool, and we're fascists for daring to protest.

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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 5:37:00 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		What I hate are people who think because of a word…a classification… that they are somehow superior to another.

In my view of the lifestyle all deserve respect and all understand that the part they live is necessary for the other to live their part…and they are equal as humans and must give as well as receive.

Butch


_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to winterlight)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 5:43:07 PM   
NormalOutside


Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline 		OP: Since "bdsm" is whatever I define it as, I exclude anything that turns me off. Therefore, everything about "bdsm" appeals to me perfectly. :)

As for people who practice varying definitions of "bdsm", sure, most of them annoy the hell out of me, which is why I'm only involved with a couple people at a time.


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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 6:58:46 PM   
mithrell


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/3/2006
Status: offline 		People who think online exp is the same as real life.

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 7:32:26 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Nothing. I practice the BDSM I like and the stuff i like turns me on-that's why I like it.
As for what the rest of you freakyasswhackjobs (grins) do, that's on you.
Now some of the PEOPLE who practice BDSM... that's a different ballgame

(in reply to mithrell)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 7:36:56 PM   
Loki45


Posts: 2100
Joined: 5/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mithrell
People who think online exp is the same as real life.


Or those who think that because something is learned 'online' that it has no value.

I know many colleges that teach online courses. Someone should tell them it doesn't count because it's not a real-life class.


_____________________________

"'Till the roof comes off, 'till the lights go out
'Till my legs give out, can't shut my mouth."

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 1/31/2010 8:18:06 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Is there anything that you cannot stand in regards to it as far as play, people or anything else?


There are just so many for me.  Off the top of my head...

S-types who make claims that it's all about their D-types, when the truth is that they'd be out the door if they weren't getting their own needs met as well.

D-types who expect or demand submission without committing themselves to the relationship.

Players who think if they call themselves poly it'll put a respectable shine on the fact that they're really just whores with a whip.

People who think that just because it's bdsm it's ok to ask someone off the top of the bat what they're sexual kinks and preferences are.

Bdsmers who use the term "vanilla" as a pejorative.

Bdsmers who think we should get a free pass if someone accidentally gets killed during something like breath play.  Afterall, they consented.   

And people who think they were born a dominant or a submissive or a slave.  Sorry, but it's not a fucking species, it's just personality traits and relationship dynamics.

(in reply to winterlight)
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RE: What turns you off about bdsm? - 2/1/2010 3:54:55 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Yeah, I don't like the "born a ________" bullshit either. "Hoser" pops in my head every time I see it.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to marie2)
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