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RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 3:06:10 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
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From: California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I know more than one expert, and I mean experts that teach classes and publish books . . . anyway, more that one dumb ass Dungeon Monitor has stopped a scene because he felt what the expert was doing was unsafe. Well . . . it would be unsafe it was being done by anyone other than an expert! That’s the nature of edge play. I am an asshole. I just don't care if the tourists kill each other on the cross.

Apples and oranges. We're not talking experts here.

Our dungeon is small. Our DMs know almost everybody, if not everybody, that comes to play. The head of our local group tells everyone at the DM class, "if you think I'm playing too hard, you're wrong." I won't speak for other venues, but we rarely, if ever, stop play for safety issues. If this local couple was so well-known, why wasn't their play style known?

Cali

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 41

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 3:10:17 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
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Because it never happened?

Jeff

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Post #: 42

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 4:37:56 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned
My question is what are your thoughts when you see something like that: a person who does not know what they are doing? Does it make you take a look at yourself or just breath a sigh of relief that you know better.

I'm not even remotely as arrogant as that.

_____________________________

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(in reply to ForeverOwned)

Post #: 43

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 4:54:33 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

public play parties we see Dominants who clearly don't know what they are doing and some to the point where it upsets the entire crowd to where they are told to stop by the Dungeon Master.

My question is what are your thoughts when you see something likke that: a person who does not know what they are doing? Does it make you take a look at yourself or just breath a sigh of relief that you know better.

My Owner tells me that when he use to see things like that he would take a quick inventory of self and make sure he was following what he believed to be safe and productive for both of us.

So I get it you and yours know every funking thing about everything....well excussseeee the hell outta me bows n stuff. Next Time I will check with you. So I can be sure you know what Im doing. Cuz you and yours clearly are the resident "experts" Even tho you cant seem to spell korrecly....

There will be a test afterward.

BadOne

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(in reply to ForeverOwned)

Post #: 44

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 9:19:35 PM

winterrose77

Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
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Am I the only one here who doesn't think ForeverOwned was being obnoxious about this? XD

Clearly the question could have been stated in a more politically correct manner, but I don't think she was saying that she and her Dom were better than anybody else, just asking a question seeking the opinions of those on the forum about the matter at hand. Seems like a lot of people are getting irritated about what seems, to me, to be nothing. I don't mean or want to offend anybody or to speak out of place, but in all fairness, it seems like complaints about how she worded her first post are sort of offtopic and a little ridiculous.

We all know there are such things as bad Doms and good Doms. Let's focus on that common knowledge and let the discussion take a friendly course, please? :)

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 45

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 9:28:29 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Am I the only one here who doesn't think ForeverOwned was being obnoxious about this? XD

Clearly the question could have been stated in a more politically correct manner, but I don't think she was saying that she and her Dom were better than anybody else, just asking a question seeking the opinions of those on the forum about the matter at hand. Seems like a lot of people are getting irritated about what seems, to me, to be nothing. I don't mean or want to offend anybody or to speak out of place, but in all fairness, it seems like complaints about how she worded her first post are sort of offtopic and a little ridiculous.

We all know there are such things as bad Doms and good Doms. Let's focus on that common knowledge and let the discussion take a friendly course, please? :)

You have to admit there is an element of drama to her posts on this thread... the not knowing if the sub in question lived, etc.... I suppose if I thought someone was that injured I would do something more about it then just post a thread on CM, if the couple in question were the regulars she stated that they were why doesn't anyone know how this sub is? Why is it no one cared enough to find out?

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(in reply to winterrose77)

Post #: 46

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 9:28:45 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Am I the only one here who doesn't think ForeverOwned was being obnoxious about this? XD

Clearly the question could have been stated in a more politically correct manner, but I don't think she was saying that she and her Dom were better than anybody else, just asking a question seeking the opinions of those on the forum about the matter at hand. Seems like a lot of people are getting irritated about what seems, to me, to be nothing. I don't mean or want to offend anybody or to speak out of place, but in all fairness, it seems like complaints about how she worded her first post are sort of offtopic and a little ridiculous.

We all know there are such things as bad Doms and good Doms. Let's focus on that common knowledge and let the discussion take a friendly course, please? :)

You are new here, right? Well, as you go through your journey here you will find all sorts of posters. Some are smart, witty, funny as hell, hot, sexy and nice. Most people here will gladly give you their best advice if you ask nicely.

Then there are posters who like to start threads with the attitude of superiority cloaked in a questioning format. It gives those posters a way to crow about their own judgements and opinions without looking too narcissistic. But it is disingenuous; it reads phony. It smacks of judgement without being blunt, which would be preferred. They don't really want to hear any opinion that differs from their own skewed view. There is no debate; you can tell by their response to the serious replies that the superior air is still lingering in the air.

There is a world of difference when saying, I have gone to a few BDSM clubs and it was really interesting and cool, but sometimes, I saw things that seemed a bit over the line, for me. What do you guys think when you go to clubs? Is it ever cool to say something or is that not the right etiquette?

Versus the way this thread and others are worded. People don't get crazy on a poster for one post, it is the totality of posting history that makes people form an opinion, right or wrong about someone.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/2/2010 9:33:37 PM >

(in reply to winterrose77)

Post #: 47

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 9:58:21 PM

winterrose77

Posts: 114
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Maybe I'm just more tolerant than I realize. XD I'm hard to offend or upset, so I guess I didn't see the narcissism in the question.

I was curious about it myself, anyway. It's like people who smack their kids in public. Some people think "Good, a parent actually disciplining their kid." Others go, "Oh my god, child abuse!"

Ah well. X3 People confuse me.

edit: Yes, I am new here. Do I reek of the vanilla world that strongly? :P

< Message edited by winterrose77 -- 2/2/2010 9:59:06 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 48

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 10:27:10 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, I am new here. Do I reek of the vanilla world that strongly? :P

You are doing just fine, Winterrose

I, for one, am certainly enjoying your posts, so please keep at it!
and... Welcome to CM!

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(in reply to winterrose77)

Post #: 49

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 10:37:02 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Maybe I'm just more tolerant than I realize. XD I'm hard to offend or upset, so I guess I didn't see the narcissism in the question.

I was curious about it myself, anyway. It's like people who smack their kids in public. Some people think "Good, a parent actually disciplining their kid." Others go, "Oh my god, child abuse!"

Ah well. X3 People confuse me.

edit: Yes, I am new here. Do I reek of the vanilla world that strongly? :P

Your impressions are as valid as anyone else's... I am unfamiliar with the OPs posting history, so my impressions are based upon what she has written on this thread and no other.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to winterrose77)

Post #: 50

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 11:31:10 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

No, problem :) She was a blonde very pretty, but very tiny pixiish even. It was way too much for her.

I once saw a woman.. MAYBE 5' tall, certainly no more than 100 lbs (probably less) who took a beating (floggers, singletails, paddles, punching, etc) that would have laid me flat within the first 20 minutes (and I used to be called a 'hard bottom')....

She walked away with the most beatific smile on her face.....

_____________________________

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to ForeverOwned)

Post #: 51

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/2/2010 11:33:46 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Localized play styles is a very valid point. Most edge players are well known in their area.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I know more than one expert, and I mean experts that teach classes and publish books . . . anyway, more that one dumb ass Dungeon Monitor has stopped a scene because he felt what the expert was doing was unsafe. Well . . . it would be unsafe it was being done by anyone other than an expert! That’s the nature of edge play. I am an asshole. I just don't care if the tourists kill each other on the cross.

Apples and oranges. We're not talking experts here.

Our dungeon is small. Our DMs know almost everybody, if not everybody, that comes to play. The head of our local group tells everyone at the DM class, "if you think I'm playing too hard, you're wrong." I won't speak for other venues, but we rarely, if ever, stop play for safety issues. If this local couple was so well-known, why wasn't their play style known?

Cali

_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 52

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 1:48:19 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

FR for the OP

If she was a tiny woman, what kind of rafter was she suspended from that it nearly broke? It sounds more like the building maybe should have been reported to the council for being structurally dangerous

I have only seen a DM step in once to stop a scene in almost ten years of going to parties and that was when the submissive was safe wording and his D type was ignoring it (and this hadn't been agreed upon).

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(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 53

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 2:12:50 AM

allthatjaz

Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I know more than one expert, and I mean experts that teach classes and publish books . . . anyway, more that one dumb ass Dungeon Monitor has stopped a scene because he felt what the expert was doing was unsafe. Well . . . it would be unsafe it was being done by anyone other than an expert! That’s the nature of edge play.

I am an asshole. I just don't care if the tourists kill each other on the cross.

I have seen this too. You have to be careful about who you give a DM badge to because the last thing you need is one of your DM's lording it!
When I ran my own club I often had DM's approaching me because they were worried about a certain type of play going on but they knew they would get their knuckles wrapped if they didn't show discretion and intelligence.
I have also worked DMing in various clubs where I spent most of my time telling people not to sit on the equipment, get in the way of a scene or to put their wanky little cocks away! It can be hard work, especially in a large club because you have to be ever vigilant and of course your having to do risk assesment. The one thing you can't or shouldn't do is step into a scene because a few fluffies are getting alarmed.
Voyers come in all shapes and sizes, from a happy spanker to an out and out edge player and your bound to get some that show concern when they see something they deem to be ott but so long as there is a happy smiling DM to reassure them that its all cool, then they are normally pretty happy with that.

I have been partying a long time and I have seen very few scenes stopped. I stopped one scene and that was because they were sat next to someone having needle play in a cordoned off area and were about to have needles in themselves. I was polite, asked them to wait and explained about the dangers and they were fine with that.

You do get an amount of voyers in a club that are looking to put other players down. Too many times I have heard 'omg have you seen the way he swings that flogger?' or 'she obviously doesn't know how to tie a bondage knot!'. Its just competition. If they can make others look bad then they can perhaps make themselves look better.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 2/3/2010 2:30:58 AM >

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Post #: 54

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 3:30:06 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

No, problem :) She was a blonde very pretty, but very tiny pixiish even. It was way too much for her.

I once saw a woman.. MAYBE 5' tall, certainly no more than 100 lbs (probably less) who took a beating (floggers, singletails, paddles, punching, etc) that would have laid me flat within the first 20 minutes (and I used to be called a 'hard bottom')....

She walked away with the most beatific smile on her face.....

but isnt it down to tolerance levels, as you say youreself. you and youre 'hard bottom'

couldnt have taken that, but this woman could and loved it.

the one being hung like a bat for ages possibly was suffering from being hung like a bat for ages - they used to kill people that way years ago

i remember a top telling me about this masso who took 100 hard strikes from the cane, some of which broke her skin. he said she was up and at it the next day, no worries. me, 15 hard strikes from one of those mothers and im sobbing. but then im a wimp

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 55

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 5:39:59 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

No, problem :) She was a blonde very pretty, but very tiny pixiish even. It was way too much for her.

I once saw a woman.. MAYBE 5' tall, certainly no more than 100 lbs (probably less) who took a beating (floggers, singletails, paddles, punching, etc) that would have laid me flat within the first 20 minutes (and I used to be called a 'hard bottom')....

She walked away with the most beatific smile on her face.....

but isnt it down to tolerance levels, as you say youreself. you and youre 'hard bottom' couldnt have taken that, but this woman could and loved it.

Hi, Lally! (love the pic *grin*)

That was my point... judging how much someone can take, based simply on their size (and appearance? *snort*) is absurd.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 56

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 5:53:55 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

No, problem :) She was a blonde very pretty, but very tiny pixiish even. It was way too much for her.

I once saw a woman.. MAYBE 5' tall, certainly no more than 100 lbs (probably less) who took a beating (floggers, singletails, paddles, punching, etc) that would have laid me flat within the first 20 minutes (and I used to be called a 'hard bottom')....

She walked away with the most beatific smile on her face.....

but isnt it down to tolerance levels, as you say youreself. you and youre 'hard bottom' couldnt have taken that, but this woman could and loved it.

Hi, Lally! (love the pic *grin*)

That was my point... judging how much someone can take, based simply on their size (and appearance? *snort*) is absurd.

aha! - gotcha!!

- sorry, seems things have to be spelt out to me these days - must need something i havent been having for a while, im all ditsy.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 57

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 5:59:37 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

ditsy, maybe.. cute, ALWAYS!!! *smooch*

< Message edited by GreedyTop -- 2/3/2010 6:00:04 AM >

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 58

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 7:15:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterrose77

Am I the only one here who doesn't think ForeverOwned was being obnoxious about this? XD

Clearly the question could have been stated in a more politically correct manner, but I don't think she was saying that she and her Dom were better than anybody else, just asking a question seeking the opinions of those on the forum about the matter at hand. Seems like a lot of people are getting irritated about what seems, to me, to be nothing. I don't mean or want to offend anybody or to speak out of place, but in all fairness, it seems like complaints about how she worded her first post are sort of offtopic and a little ridiculous.

We all know there are such things as bad Doms and good Doms. Let's focus on that common knowledge and let the discussion take a friendly course, please? :)

Here is my take on the thing. I have to assume that all participants are consenting adults. If an s-type hasn't used the brain they were born with, stopping a public play session will probably only be a temporary save.

That being said.......while I am hugely inexperienced with public, or even semi-private BDSM gatherings and play, I have to also assume that the person/s running the club/event will have a fairly set idea of what they will and will not allow. I would hope that those attending would either be advised OR if not advised, that they would have the common sense to ask their hosts what is allowed.

If I am not the host but a guest, it is not for me to determine what is acceptable behaviour of other guests except in as far as it affects me. If I am bothered I have the option to not participate or leave.

Much like this site really.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to winterrose77)

Post #: 59

RE: Sometimes when we go to - 2/3/2010 7:23:11 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Because it never happened?

this would be my guess.....

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Post #: 60

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