CNJDom
Posts: 186
Joined: 6/6/2006
From: Southern NJ
Status: offline
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OK so you've been online and found a potential play partner, deciding to make the plunge and meet in-person. The dilemma: Public or private?
Options?:
Door #1: Public place and play it safe with no possible play involved and just a "feel it out" session. You are doing this with a "safe call" or silent alarm friend with or without code and a specific time to call or call-back involved. Maybe some pertinent information about your potential person.
Door #2: Public place without all the fancy schmancy safety checks and balances involved and you are doing this like Emilia Earhart: solo flight. You haven't really told anyone where you're going, no one's going to check up on you or miss you if you don't get back home (so exciting living on the edge and that rushy heady sense of danger just making feel so TYPE-A you can just taste it!) on time or anywhere really. You're not really planning on bringing this person home or going anywhere with them...well maybe....nawww...well (oh-so exciting isn't it?) we'll see.
Door #3: Private place a hotel room, his/her place or your place. It's your first meeting now...you may have negotiated for what seemed like endless boring hours leading up to this near-magical point. It may be everything you ever dreamed of! He or she is everything they said they were, no surprises...just total bliss on the mind. That is until the moment of truth. You won't really know until you close that door isolating yourself from the rest of the world for 3-hours in that lovely hot sheets motel (where no one asks any questions).
It's at that point where you find if all those negotiations and ideals and on-line things you participated are going to come true...and perhaps they do, and more so for argument's sake they do. PLUS you DID install that nice silent alarm feature!! You told someone about this meeting, and that you are confident, and you have your cell with you, and you may have even let them know that calls will be coming in, and going out that must be done so that you are not in danger (they don't know about that codeword you have that sends the police to the hotel...you did tell them what hotel you were in right? Oh and did you give your friend any information about your play partner? License number? Real name? Verified cell or something? In this case you did and so there is some sort of support and checking going on (still so very very exciting! Oh you Type-A you)
Door #4: Private meeting at your place. He or she don't want to meet in public. He or she don't like the idea of a cozy hot sheets place. What's the need for safety calls and silent alarms? You'll call your friend or get online later when it's over to share that wonderful experience you are anticipating. No one knows about this meeting. Just you, the other person, and the anticipation: and the truth however that comes to pass. It might be great, exciting, all you ever wanted. It might also be you blindfolded with more than just that person coming through the door, robbing, gang-raping you, taking your life into their hands, your safety compromised, and left either there or in a shallow pit. This is an extreme but real scenario that could happen. This would not be listed in the newspaper or on TV as more than a home invasion with a possible homicide. A page 1 event if you live in a small town, or a page 3 or 5 event in the papers if you live in a larger city. That would the first and last anyone heard of it and that would be the explanation of what was found by the authorities, not what brought this tragedy to where it ended.
Mom always said don't talk to strangers, accept candy or get into some you don't know's car...and the clean underwear thing (which is in the Mother's Handbook BTW). All good things to incite common-sense. Using that common-sense will help one along greatly. Ignoring it, is well sort of improving the gene pool's survival the hard way. Go with your guts, I personally believe that caution and safety rules. The silent alarm or safety call system that so many use isn't just for submissives by the way. Dominants could also stand to have something like that in place when meeting a new potential submissive.
What someone poses to be online and what they are live and in-person can be two different things. Some dominants are just sadists and perverts using the lifestyle to gain access to potential prey. Some are genuine. Hard to tell until you get down to brass tacks. Submissives are not always helpless either, not all have low self-esteem and are easy pickins like some may think (especially those sexual predators that feel submissives in the lifestyle are vessels for instant sex, and you can use these desperate people for anything and they are easy lays)...I'm sure quite a few of these wanna-bes find themselves with a tiger by the tail to contend with. But there are some out there, who do fit their profile...otherwise they wouldn't be around. Just be careful. It's risky and dangerous, and knowing your risks, and using safety and sanity just might make all the difference.
_____________________________
“For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
~Ivan Panin
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RE: first meetings - 
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