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RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 4:36:09 PM   
lushusboobs


Posts: 83
Joined: 5/13/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
well unless you plan on being penetrated by a mac truck it has to be something on the order of a dildo since clit play is not penetration.


Again, you are showing what you do not know about lesbian sex.  Penetration does not have to be about penile shaped objects. 

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 5:01:48 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lushusboobs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne
well unless you plan on being penetrated by a mac truck it has to be something on the order of a dildo since clit play is not penetration.


Again, you are showing what you do not know about lesbian sex.  Penetration does not have to be about penile shaped objects. 


yeh bricks,  lawnmowers, and weed wackers all work fine, i know


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 5:56:55 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		For me Submission is driven by sexual motives. Every ones definition of sex may differ it may not always be penetration even chastity and denial is a form of sex to me.
There has to be some sort of chemistry or attraction of some sort for any sort of relationship to work for me.  Submission itself can be sexual with out a sexual act.
I know myself well enough that submission is sexual for me. Submission for me is also an intimate act that if possible I would only share with one Woman (unless she ordered me otherwise). Maybe I have wrapped up submission with too many romantic notions ?

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 6:25:27 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

fucking spare me your thoughtless politically correct bullshit!  i happen to have "SHEMALE" friends who SELF identify as "SHEMALES" and you can see them in personal adds all over as SELF dentified SHEMALES.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
As a charged example, black people often call each other 'nigger' but if a white person does it, it's offensive.  It's the same thing.

oh sure run out in the middle of the street and start shouting nigger of course people are going to take offense.  oh and btw i have black friends that i call nigga and they have their pet name for me too so what? now you are going to lecture me on nigger right.

quote:

It usually signifies a tgurl who versatile or a top or simply just a non op typically, as opposed to those who are strictly bottom or post op etc.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
It has nothing to do with being a top or 'versatile.'  It's used almost exclusively to describe pre/non-op transsexuals working in the sex industry, which is a fractionally small percentage of the TS population. 

oh so you felt compelled to tell me how wrong they are?  This little tidbit was a compilation of their perspectives on it.  hell i dont personally know even one who did porn. sounds like the scope of your experience with the ts community is from a porn shop.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
Those who don't fall into that small slice of the population find the term hugely offensive.

If you would have taken a little time to understand my post you would notice i said "self identified" shemales and did not refer to other labels in the trans world. DUH!  

Do show me where i stated others would not be offended or did not find it offensive. percentage doesnt have anything to do with what i said.

since you want to talk about percentages on this and those into porno, do provide us with your statistical data.

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
quote:

shows what you dont know. 

What incredible fucking irony.
~stef

yeh incredible



_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 6:30:47 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
As a charged example, black people often call each other 'nigger' but if a white person does it, it's offensive.  It's the same thing.
 

I don’t know who originally started this rumour but quite frankly depending on the circles you run in you won’t find a single black person calling each other nigger.  To me hearing that word from *anyone * is offensive, and I can’t stand that somehow whites got it in their head that black people all run around calling each other nigger.  Some black people do, and some black people don’t.  There are plenty of black people who don’t and find it very offensive.  

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 3/28/2006 6:31:12 PM >

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(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 6:33:12 PM   
LadySeraphina


Posts: 931
Joined: 3/28/2006
From: Calgary, Canada
Status: offline 		 I think it's an interesting question.  When I see clients, it's entirely non-sexual, and many of the male clients don't even get an erection during a Scene, though they may find it psycho-sexually satisfying.  On the other hand, my houseboy and I are very sexual, in and out of our roles.  I think that's simply because of our intimacy and love, which bleeds into our Play as well.

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 6:44:36 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySeraphina
On the other hand, my houseboy and I are very sexual, in and out of our roles.  I think that's simply because of our intimacy and love, which bleeds into our Play as well.

yeh love so totally rocks doesnt it  :)


_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 8:58:39 PM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		The interest in the question came from a very nice Mistress who has shared in her journal and profile that  submission will not include sex.. In fact many on here have expressed a desire for a submissive in their life but with out the vanilla sex. The real problem  in the quanity of emails she gets is that most never read her interest . I mean as a submissive ,do you get something  fullfilling out of servitude? Does it take the place of the lack of actual sexual contact?

.

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 9:44:46 PM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

The interest in the question came from a very nice Mistress who has shared in her journal and profile that  submission will not include sex.. In fact many on here have expressed a desire for a submissive in their life but with out the vanilla sex. The real problem  in the quanity of emails she gets is that most never read her interest . I mean as a submissive ,do you get something  fullfilling out of servitude? Does it take the place of the lack of actual sexual contact?
.


there is no form of servitude that can replace sex for a sexual being as myself. 

there are some who choose to evolve in that direction and i cannot speak for them.

for me certain servitude and bdsm activities can help relieve or take the sharp edge off of the sexual tension but will never replace it.  (or at least i never met anyone who could take me there)

In a healthy relationship sex isnt just wham bham thank you maam like so many love to portray it.  it is an energy exchange at the libido level.  if done for the right motivations it is extremely spiritual, has deep meaning and deserves the same reverence and respect as all else held close to the heart.  not that i am a fuddy duddy and against fun sex, its all part of a healthy loving relationship imo

oh yeh i forgot to add;  there are a lot of married women on here, several lez who want male subs but no sex

except on rare occasions where i would consider just getting together for play reasons where no sex woudl be desired and since i am seeking ltr for the most part i typically do not waste my time writing anyone who has an issue with sex.  from my experience they usually have other issues that i do not wish to deal with that go hand in hand.

< Message edited by Real0ne -- 3/28/2006 9:52:33 PM >

_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 9:49:35 PM   
MsCesca


Posts: 16
Joined: 5/28/2004
Status: offline 		Sex interfers with my dominating.. I get to wrapped up in feeling the sensations and... lose control.  :-)  NOT good in scene, obviously.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:25:01 PM   
starymists


Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		Does sex get in the way of submission? Umm...only if my Dominant allows it too. Sex is definately a part of our equation. It is one way we express our feelings for one another. But it is not a primary focus. I serve Richard in what ever capacity he commands. Whether it be laundry, cooking, research, sex or anything in between. I think that if it's placed first, then it can get in the way. I also think that a lot of sites that focus on BDSM focus on the sexual service aspect. Most check lists talk about a lot of sex, but not a lot of anything else, and that contributes to sex getting in the way. But I think that if it's talked about, kept in perspective and both parties are honest, it doesn't get in the way. At least it doesn't in our life. :)

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:30:32 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef


A person can refer to themselves as a shemale, a he-she or a philodendron for all I care but *you* referring to people as shemales is offensive, no matter how many of "them" you claim to have as friends.


No matter how offensive "shemale" may be, it certainly has a little more class than "chicks with dicks." Of course this is just my uninformed opinion on the matter.

(in reply to stef)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:32:20 PM   
LadyThornrose


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline 		Oh please! 

I can understand why professionals would nix sex.... and I can understand why "attached" Dominants might seek sexless submissives, but aren't there any old-fashioned people like me who just want a FULL monogamous Vanilla and D/s mind/body/hear/soul relationship?  Or should my BDSM hiatus become permanent?  Thank heaven for submissives like Mantis, who hope for a loving relationship with one Domme.  He gives me hope.  

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:40:42 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Real0ne

oh sure run out in the middle of the street and start shouting nigger of course people are going to take offense.  oh and btw i have black friends that i call nigga and they have their pet name for me too so what? now you are going to lecture me on nigger right.

Who said anything about running out in the street?  We're talking about your usage of offensive terms *here*, not pet names you share with your "black friends."  It would be just as offensive if you used that word to refer to black people here, as it is when you use the word "shemale" here, no matter what your friends might think when you use such terms in their presence.

quote:

oh so you felt compelled to tell me how wrong they are?  This little tidbit was a compilation of their perspectives on it.  hell i dont personally know even one who did porn. sounds like the scope of your experience with the ts community is from a porn shop.

No, I'm telling you how wrong *you* are.  Your friends' perspectives have nothing to do with it.  As for the scope of my experience with the TS community, It's fairly significant since I'm a part of it.  Due to that, I'm guessing that I have an exponentially greater understanding  of what transsexuals find offensive than you do, your "shemale friends" notwithstanding.

quote:

If you would have taken a little time to understand my post you would notice i said "self identified" shemales and did not refer to other labels in the trans world. DUH!

I understood your post perfectly, it hardly required much thought, and I responded to the self-identification issue in the first line of my reply to you.  Try reading for comprehension next time. 

This isn't about what your "friends" want to call themselves, I don't care how they refer to themselves.  This is about *you* using the term to refer to transsexuals, "versatile" or otherwise, as you did in this post.  Stop trying to shift the issue.

quote:

Do show me where i stated others would not be offended or did not find it offensive. percentage doesnt have anything to do with what i said.

Nice backpedal.  The fact that you used the term so glibly in the post referenced above indicates that you either don't think it's offensive or that you don't care that it's offensive.  With those two options in mind, you're either a clueless fuckwit, an intentionally malicious fuckwit or some mix of the two.  None of the possible outcomes here are all that appealing, but which is it?

quote:

since you want to talk about percentages on this and those into porno, do provide us with your statistical data.

Sorry, but I haven't yet gotten a grant for that study.  I can only give empirical evidence, and that is that of the transsexuals I know (over a thousand from various mailing lists and easily a hundred in person) the *only* people who used the term shemale to refer to themselves were sexworkers or adult website proprietors/contributors and I run out of those people before I run out of fingers and toes.

~stef

(in reply to Real0ne)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:42:25 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

No matter how offensive "shemale" may be, it certainly has a little more class than "chicks with dicks." Of course this is just my uninformed opinion on the matter.

Clearly, and for what it's worth, you're wrong.

~stef

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/28/2006 10:44:35 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		Well I don’t want to give the impression that sex is the only thing that interests me in a female dominated relationship. Or is the sole purpose of me seeking a female Dominated relationship. There are people that are submissive with out any sexual relationship to their Dom/mes and that makes them fulfilled. I am just not like that or I would have tired to convert a “vanilla” girlfriend if all I wanted was kinky sex. that doesnt seem right

It doesn’t work for me if it’s not something she truly enjoys.

I lean toward sadists (this may mean I have a vain streak in me and like their attention) woman that enjoy the power and sometimes enjoy my suffering sex or not.
Anyway I am just telling you how I feel not saying everyone should be like me.

(in reply to LadyThornrose)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/29/2006 12:43:39 AM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
Your friends' perspectives have nothing to do with it.

of course not, only "YOUR" friends do, and "YOUR" opinion is the holy grail. to hell with the rest of the shemales in the world.  its all about your opinion.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
Due to that, I'm guessing that I have an exponentially greater understanding  of what transsexuals find offensive than you do, your "shemale friends" notwithstanding.

of course, my friends and the friends of my friends, why in your infinite wisdom they are totally irrelevant to you, the way they feel about it, their opinions are all bullshit to you, and you are the only one who's opinion is valid since you were sent to this earth by god to tell the shemales of the world they are wrong and you make all the rules for what they must take offense too.  i will have to relay that to them.

Hell what could other shemales possibly know about themselves that you do not know better!
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
This isn't about what your "friends" want to call themselves, I don't care how they refer to themselves.  This is about *you* using the term to refer to transsexuals, "versatile" or otherwise, as you did in this post.  Stop trying to shift the issue.

oh now you are including transexuals as a whole not just those who identify as shemales as "I" stated, and switching the word to versatile instead of shemale.  nice shift stef, nice way to change the whole meaning of what "I" said.  i love it  when people accuse me of using their tactics.

no try again, lets take a very slow look at your original rant below, hmm check it out, it was about me using the term shemale.
quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
A person can refer to themselves as a shemale, a he-she or a philodendron for all I care but *you* referring to people as shemales is offensive


not bad, 5 paragraphs each one telling me your friends are better than my friends and finally stooping to the infantile level of calling me names.   whats up stef? got your panties in a little twistee?


oh by the way i "IDENTIFY" as a sub but you damned well better not call me that because its extremely OFFENSIVE for *you* to call a someone a submisive regardless if they identify that way.  Double DUH!

now you can go back to calling me names.




_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/29/2006 12:45:57 AM   
Real0ne


Posts: 21189
Joined: 10/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyThornrose

Oh please! 

I can understand why professionals would nix sex.... and I can understand why "attached" Dominants might seek sexless submissives, but aren't there any old-fashioned people like me who just want a FULL monogamous Vanilla and D/s mind/body/hear/soul relationship?  Or should my BDSM hiatus become permanent?  Thank heaven for submissives like Mantis, who hope for a loving relationship with one Domme.  He gives me hope.  

count me in to that one also


_____________________________

"We the Borg" of the us imperialists....resistance is futile

Democracy; The 'People' voted on 'which' amendment?

Yesterdays tinfoil is today's reality!

"No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session

(in reply to LadyThornrose)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/29/2006 2:38:19 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lushusboobs

The truth is that I have no interest in sex in a traditional penis and vagina sort of way.  I would say that I'm bigendered or maybe even transgendered in that I like being in the male role.  I enjoy giving rather than receiving.  I like being the top and you'll never find me being in a penetrative sort of situation where I'm being the one penetrated except with my lesbian lover.   Sometimes people talk to me and think that since I'm  primarily lesbian that I'm looking for oral sex.  I don't really want that either.    Read Stone Butch Blues and you might  somewhat understand what  I'm about.  But being bi-gendered I also identify somewhat with the feminine side. 

To be totally honest, I don't consider myself heterosexual and the only men that I have interest in are those willing to submit in a very feminine manner.  Transgendered people and bi men understand me and turn me on.  Heterosexual men are usually clueless as to what I'm looking for unless they are very open.

Men who are looking for sex are barking up the wrong tree with me.  If they are looking to widen their concept of sex then perhaps they might find me interesting.  Men who assume all women are fulfilled by orgasm are pretty much clueless as far as I'm concerned.  If they understand that sex can be a total head trip and about the mind then they might be a little bit more my type.  If I can't connect with someone on a mental level then there is no pleasure for me. 

In lesbian relationships everything is about the foreplay and the orgasm is not that important.  What do you think about that concept?



I think that in YOUR relationship, everything is about the foreplay.  The lesbian women I know consider orgasm to be very important.

Texas Maam

(in reply to lushusboobs)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 3/29/2006 5:10:15 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		YES sex gets in the way of submission.sex gets in the ways of many things to make them difficult but how in your right mind could live without it?Thats why my wife DIANE  makes a better teacher then I,for all her energies are put to the task at hand instead of thinking about a romp in the hay afterwards...BOUNTYHUNTER

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Profile   Post #: 40
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