RE: Does sex get in the way of submission?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Does sex get in the way of submission?

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/2/2007 12:13:50 AM

FootQueen

Posts: 241
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wildfleurs

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef
As a charged example, black people often call each other 'nigger' but if a white person does it, it's offensive. It's the same thing.

I don’t know who originally started this rumour but quite frankly depending on the circles you run in you won’t find a single black person calling each other nigger. To me hearing that word from *anyone * is offensive, and I can’t stand that somehow whites got it in their head that black people all run around calling each other nigger. Some black people do, and some black people don’t. There are plenty of black people who don’t and find it very offensive.
quote:

THANK YOU , THANK YOU , THANK YOU! you won’t find a single black person calling each other nigger Somehow (and poorly I might add) this thread got off-track and should have never went there! Thank you Wildfleurs for speaking up.

C~

_____________________________

Don`t engage in a relationship if there is no trust, for without trust there really is no relationship!

(in reply to Wildfleurs)

Profile

Post #: 61

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/2/2007 12:35:21 AM

sloki

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

"If I can't connect with someone on a mental level then there is no pleasure for me."

Neither for me, in sex or in submission. If I want submission only, I get a job in service and get money for it, If I dont connect with the boss, I keep looking till I find one I do connect with. If I want to hang out with people I go to the local bar and hang with my interesting friends. If I am on a site such as this, Im looking for someone to fuck me.

Its all about context. If your getting hit up for sex, ya gotta ask, where are you?
.
"In lesbian relationships everything is about the foreplay and the orgasm is not that important. What do you think about that concept?"

Im a Dyke. I love Orgasms. Lots of them. All kinds, even the ones ya get with the phantom cock.

Foreplay starts first thing in the morning.

~Ki

(in reply to CaCpl4HouseSlave)

Profile

Post #: 62

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/2/2007 4:50:43 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

It does not get in the way, if you do not allow it to get in the way.
The Dominant is in charge, normally in a Ds relationship, and makes the rules.

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 63

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 4:47:43 PM

openmindedslave

Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline

Not sure what happen on here as I see the direction of the question about submission and sex took off into some other direction .

The question pertains to how a submissive is preceived by the dom in a realtionship involining sex. Maybe the question would be more balck and white if it involved a slave depending of course on the each persons definition.

Since this question was originally asked, I have spoken to a Mistress that reminded me of her feelings about sex and slaves .For her the power or beauty of having a slave, not a submissive mine you, was never to have sex with them but to own themat property. That at her age, sex with vanilla guys was more importain but with a slave it would be forbidden due to their postion as being a non person or someone that she could not respect as a man due to their willingly becoming a slave.
So for him and many others out here, they realize that their submissiveness while valuable, will not ever be considered valuable enought to be considered a lover or sex partner to them.

I have noticed more recently that many doms here clearly state sex or nudity of any type from the mIstress or dom will not occur. In the long term experience I wounder how many subs and slave can accept this for long durrantions without seeking others.Is this in fact to much to expect when seeking a slave or sub? Or for a sub or slave, could you serve long term without there ever being a sexual contact between you and a dom?
Thank you for your insight everyone

(in reply to LadyIce)

Profile

Post #: 64

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 5:05:57 PM

michaelOfGeorgia

Posts: 4253
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

I have spoken to so many here that cherish and desire earned submission from a sub or slave . However , while sex can besomething both are seeking , many out hereare telling me that the subs and slaves they are talking too expect sex.Even when the profile clearly states they will not conduct sexual acts with any slave/sub.
Are superiors finding it hard to find submission with out the expectation of sex?

since i do not seek sexual activity and it is not a part of my submission, this has caused me alot of problems find a Mistress that accepts this. seems almost everyone here is in it for sex.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 65

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 5:43:04 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

Crap! Busted by a guy that has a real cute kitty for an avatar.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

Profile

Post #: 66

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 5:53:59 PM

KarbonCopy

Posts: 779
Status: offline

I dont seek Dominants if i'm not in a relationship with them.

I dont want to be in a relationship where my partner and I arn't romantically involved. Just a waste of my time.

I got plenty of friends.

< Message edited by KarbonCopy -- 2/3/2007 5:54:43 PM >

_____________________________

I am KarbonCopy's signature

(in reply to stef)

Profile

Post #: 67

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 8:06:31 PM

Spankinatrix

Posts: 90
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

For me, it is a tired old stereotype of women that we can only say no to sex. Furthermore, it is a tired old stereotype of men that they can't respect/honor any woman they have sex with. You don't hear very many male dominants debating over whether or not to get blow jobs from their girls and boys, do you?

I am not sexually attracted to every male I play with (and some are not attracted to me, especially the gay ones!) so I don't have sex with all of them. Sometimes they prefer (or have been ordered) to remain chaste, which I also respect. Lastly, some have duties that I prefer to seperate from sexual service, so I don't get it on with them either. So, not every sub submits to me sexually and those that do, know better than to think it will happen all of the time.

That said, why not? Isn't this all about my pleasure? Why should I deny myself the lovely experience of multiple sex partners doing exactly what I what, how I want, and when I want it? Goodness! If they can't handle mixing servitude and sexuality then I am not interested in their service any longer. Hopefully I can see this problem coming ahead of time and either train or dismiss them. If not, then I hope they were good while they lasted!

As for the arguement that men in chastity are better subs, less distracted, etc... I used to agree with this back when I was in undergrad and the boys I was with were, too. Now if I say "don't touch" I know they won't, belted or not. I simply require men who are more mature, and aren't those the ones that deserve to serve anyway? Sure, horniness can be a great tool and something fun to play with. So have fun with it in every way possible!
N

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 68

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 8:52:11 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear openmindedslave, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Sex is an extremely broad word, to where it can be associated to almost anything we do and or associate with, even though the act of mating/breeding is absent. So, just as sex is vague due to the ability to lead into assumptions or perceptions, so is the topic of submission.

In my mind's eyes I see, the physical act of mating/breeding expectations prove troublesome as those who approach me on a personal level see sex acts, such as mating/breeding is paramount over and above establishing a relationship, communication and taking into consideration the entire person, flaws and all and not just focus on sex acts.

In my mind's eyes, the attraction to this lifestyle is through 'sex.' Sex sells, regardless if it gives a good fantasy read and or porn videos to watch. We, in general terms are sexual by nature and sex is a drive that is most primal, as to keep our kind (the human) alive to the next generations. At the beginnings of the lifestyle 'sex'--it is physical. Yet, as one matures into the lifestyle 'sex' on the physical realm takes less focus and shifts to the inner spirit/soul and mind as an equal companion to the sex acts itself.

For those who have conditional submission, such joined journey into the primal physical sex into the more sophisticated recipe of adding to the primal passion of physical sex, with the joining of spirit/soul and the mind, the use of pleasure and pain to add or withdraw, cannot happen freely and or is limited. So, yes it can get in the way of submission; as submission allows the Dominant to send the slave into the spaces in flying or in ecstacy and or trance, so the Dominant then can join in that level having placed the person from submission in the rapture, join and then return to Earth per se.

Further, the pressure that individuals place on the physical sexual performance can often sabatoge the rapture of mental, spiritual ecstacy and or trance. Removing the physical performance factor, the submission and rise into the mental, spiritual and sense of being then can compensate for physical performances and or inhibiting pressure, allowing sexual joy to manifest in many ways but, not limited and or exclusively physical orgasms.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 69

RE: Does sex get in the way of submission? - 2/3/2007 11:51:00 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Since this question was originally asked, I have spoken to a Mistress that reminded me of her feelings about sex and slaves .For her the power or beauty of having a slave, not a submissive mine you, was never to have sex with them but to own themat property. That at her age, sex with vanilla guys was more importain but with a slave it would be forbidden due to their postion as being a non person or someone that she could not respect as a man due to their willingly becoming a slave.

Apparently this is a common phenomenon within the fem dom world... I don't know what makes each person tick. I know I've met men who have no interest in sex with women seeking fem doms, and I've heard and read of women who aren't interested in sex with men, especially their slaves. I don't know where the motivation would be for people to get together if not for the sex/sexual play/sexual tension. I have family and I have friends, and if not for the intimacy/sex and long term commitment with men, I wouldn't have any interest in attempting a relationship.

To the OP's question " Does sex get in the way of submission?", I think the answer is sometimes yes, especially if the submissive is only in it physically. Once emotionally/intimately attached, I think most submissives would find the place they need to go to in order to focus and remain submissive before during and after the sex has taken place. M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 2/3/2007 11:55:46 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to openmindedslave)

Profile

Post #: 70