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A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 6:42:47 AM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		What if any do you think your Dominant is responsible for when it comes to you, and what do you think your responsibilities are to your Dominant?

For me there is no right or wrong answer just how you feel and what hopefully, works for you.
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 7:54:21 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		i like to think of them as obligations to him not responsibilities

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 9:07:05 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Her responsibilities are to follow my direction.  To listen to me and understand, raise objections if she has any, and then to do as I say.  My responsibilities are to determine what is best for all, and then to direct her that way.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to osf)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 11:20:12 AM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		My responsibility is to obey Him, to be honest with Him, even when it's not easy, to take care of Him in the ways I can, to respect and honor Him in words and actions.

His responsibility to me is to make decisions that in our best interest.  To be honest with me, even when it's not easy, to take care of me in the ways He can, love and guide me. 

It's what we committed to when we negotiated our arrangement.  No more, no less.


_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 12:09:45 PM   
ForeverOwned


Posts: 269
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		That's beautiful. Thanks for sharing that.

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 12:10:33 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		Im not responsible to other people, I see responsibility to be about your own actions, I have a responsibility to keep my word, I have a responsibility to be true to myself. No one else has a responsibility toward me either.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 12:24:29 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		He's responsible for doing the job he took on.......and I'm responsible for whatever he says I am.

agirl



(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 9:21:22 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		my primary responsibility is to please my mistress and protect Her property. Hers is to keep me safe

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LadyPact

(in reply to agirl)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 9:31:13 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

What if any do you think your Dominant is responsible for when it comes to you, and what do you think your responsibilities are to your Dominant?

For me there is no right or wrong answer just how you feel and what hopefully, works for you.


Technically, if he is the dominant it does not matter what "I" think when it comes to splitting up responsibilities... I thought it was his job to do that sort of thinking, not mine....

He has only one responsibility to me as far as I am concerned, and that was the responsibility he was tasked with by me before I agreed to submit, and that is to do his best not to harm me. He is responsible if his actions harm me.

Other than that, he is the one that makes the decisions about what I am responsible for and what he is responsible for if we are living together... as it is now, I am responsible for everything in my life and he is responsible for everything in his... and I like it this way thus far. In fact I hope it doesn't change anytime soon... my life is pretty fun and uncomplicated.


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/6/2010 10:05:23 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		My responsibilities to him are to obey, serve, please.

His responsibility to me is to dominate...that's it. There are no others.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 3:44:28 AM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Responsibility-
mine- do as told, do the best i can, with the knowledge there will be times when improvement is necessary. Be me, which is who he was interested in, in the beginning.

His- be the Dom he claims to be; the one i wanted to serve and still do.

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 8:59:13 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		I agree with osf that they are more like obligations than responsibilities, and I like what DarkSteven said, which is what I believe in a nutshell:
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Her responsibilities are to follow my direction. To listen to me and understand, raise objections if she has any, and then to do as I say. My responsibilities are to determine what is best for all, and then to direct her that way.

On a day to day basis, this translates to more specific actions. For example, I believe I am obligated to always show him how happy I am to see him, whether he’s been gone for 5 minutes or 5 days. That means I put aside any worries or anxieties I have and smile and hug him and ask him what he needs.


_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to wisdomtogive)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 10:08:20 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Mine: Serve, Submit, Obey.

His: Protect, Provide, Own.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 1:43:26 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

What if any do you think your Dominant is responsible for when it comes to you, and what do you think your responsibilities are to your Dominant?

For me there is no right or wrong answer just how you feel and what hopefully, works for you.


Second guessing another person is pretty unhealthy, so thinking and placing unrealistic expectations on anyone, including your dominant or Master is poison.
Discussing what your Master chooses and deciding if you are compatable leads to more realistic understanding.  I don't get to 'think' his responsibility is - he decides not I.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 3:28:14 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		What are the responsibilities in a committed friendship or relationship between two people? I'm sorry, but I fail to see much difference here just because someone is dominant and the other submissive. 

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
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Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 3:31:56 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

What are the responsibilities in a committed friendship or relationship between two people? I'm sorry, but I fail to see much difference here just because someone is dominant and the other submissive. 


I agree with stella...but of course, some people are so insecure with their own thought processes, if they indeed even possess some, that they have to enlist others to validate their ideas.

(in reply to stella41b)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 4:17:49 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1


quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

What are the responsibilities in a committed friendship or relationship between two people? I'm sorry, but I fail to see much difference here just because someone is dominant and the other submissive. 


I agree with stella...but of course, some people are so insecure with their own thought processes, if they indeed even possess some, that they have to enlist others to validate their ideas.

I was in a committed relationship for 20 years and never once thought I had a responsibility to do as he said. I felt I had a responsibility to consider what he said and/or wanted, but that's it. For me, the D/s dynamic makes a huge difference.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 7:34:27 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Second guessing another person is pretty unhealthy, so thinking and placing unrealistic expectations on anyone, including your dominant or Master is poison.
Discussing what your Master chooses and deciding if you are compatable leads to more realistic understanding.  I don't get to 'think' his responsibility is - he decides not I.

the.dark.


You know i thought about this too - saying that his responsibility is "whatever he wants." But in reality, there are responsibilities that he takes on with me, and that i need for him to take on, in order for me to feel safe, and to trust him, in my service to him.

i see it again as coming down to compatibility - i need someone who wants to take these responsibilities for me, and he needs someone to serve him in the way that i do. i don't think that that creates "unrealistic expectations" - i think that it's a matter of open and honest communication when establishing the Owner/property relationship that we have to determine if those individual desires and needs from each other are compatible, or not. And that communication continues during the relationship as well, it never goes away, to speak openly and honestly about our current needs from each other.

Even a slave who is kept as unloved property and locked in a cage (or whatever) 24/7 has needs, and an Owner must meet those needs for her - even basic needs like food, water, and shelter - unless he wants her to die from neglect. And that isn't what we do here.

So yes, he does have responsibilities for me, and i need him to meet them for me, in order for me to be my best at serving him.

Just my thoughts.

< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 2/7/2010 7:35:05 PM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 8:47:04 PM   
LeBlueDude


Posts: 22
Joined: 2/4/2010
Status: offline 		Clear Communication is defiantly a responsibility of the master. Another big important thing is direction. The master needs to be willing to take charge, to choose directions, to be decisive. A submissive can be wishy washy. A master can not afford to be. A master must do what it takes to keep their submissive mentally and physically healthy, whatever that is. In fact being a master is a far more demanding job then being a submissive. All a submissive has to do is what the master asks, and predict what the master may ask them to do in the future and do it pre-preemptively. That's relatively easy compared to the responsibility of actually making the decisions.

Of course, I'm sure from the perspective of those who chose to be masters doing the stuff is a more difficult task then coming up with stuff to be done. That's why they're masters.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
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RE: A question about responsibilities - 2/7/2010 10:14:07 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

What if any do you think your Dominant is responsible for when it comes to you, and what do you think your responsibilities are to your Dominant?



Simple... whatever has been addressed, discussed, negotiated prior and post ownership.




_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to ForeverOwned)
Profile   Post #: 20
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