quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

People get twitchy about honesty regardless, I don't think its a BDSM specific thing, though this site specifically is one of the most dramatic BDSM sites I use, so it may be to do with that. Anyways I don't really want to get into all that stuff.

My point fundementally is that I could say now that I did the same experiment but only half replied to me, there would be no way to judge the validity of my claim just as there is no way to judge the OP's the post is redundant because who knows what she wrote, the advice she is giving is no different to advice without the experiment aspect. It isn't helpful to anyone. Also if half replied to me, surely the number of posts sent out would make a difference? Also loads of subjective factors such as who she sent messages to etc etc it all means that whether the OP agrees or not it was a waste of time and energy. It won't help men on this website more than a general 'how to write emails' post would.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
I'm certain she would have been happy to share more details as to the elements she put into these emails, or even on the profile. I'm certain she could have went into talking about what is or is not considered "warm" emails. All of which would have been contructive and positive tips.

Given the nature of under-cover exploration/experiences where that's an effective tool for gathering empathy and understanding. She merely was attempting to put herself in the same foot steps as guys.

Sure it's one thing to sit and talk about it, another thing to sincerely experience it. In many regards much of what is bantered around on the message boards is conjecture, idealisms and notions.

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ORIGINAL: susie

FR

There are 2 other people on this thead who have admitted setting up fake profiles and messaging people. Why has nobody taken them to task for their dishonesty?

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ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
I'm certain she would have been happy to share more details as to the elements she put into these emails, or even on the profile. I'm certain she could have went into talking about what is or is not considered "warm" emails. All of which would have been contructive and positive tips.

Given the nature of under-cover exploration/experiences where that's an effective tool for gathering empathy and understanding. She merely was attempting to put herself in the same foot steps as guys.

Sure it's one thing to sit and talk about it, another thing to sincerely experience it. In many regards much of what is bantered around on the message boards is conjecture, idealisms and notions.

Even with her disclosing those things we could never know what aspects affected her. There have been occasions when this type of study is helpful but often the covert nature of it detracts a LOT from the findings. I doubt that the OP sat and tried to eliminate her own personal attributes before starting out, I doubt she did a random sample and there is no control group so it STILL would have made her experiment irrelevant.

She was attempting to put herself in her shoes absolutely, and I am sure it was valuable for her in that regard but it is not at all useful for anyone other than her. As to what a warm email is, yes she could have done that but then she is a woman so she could have spoken about what gets her going without doing the experiment, we all manage to do that.

In these types of threads people still say that they dont reply to all emails even if the emails are lovely, if they dont match they dont reply, so the one hundred percent rate she claims does nothing but make people who aren't getting that feel they are doing something wrong which may not be the case.

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4
She's only been on the site for a little over a month. Keep in mind she has not been around long enough to see the topics come and go like we have. She also has minimal experience wih the lifestyle. It's only natural for her to explore things, share those experiences, to attempt to engage in learning and growing.

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Would be like somebody learning how to use a figure 8 pattern with a flogger with an added safety tip about care to the kidney are. Where they are all excieted and making a post to the message boards to share it with the world. Mind you, I don't see a hell of a lot posted about Flogging Techniques at all on here. :-) and I sincerely wonder how many people that have played around with a flogger know what a figure 8 pattern, and question how many people actually know where the Kidneys are actually located on the body. (I'm just saying)

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
While I don't think that the OP necessarily was malicious in her intent, I'm not necessarily agreeing with the empathy aspect.  Truthfully, you don't have to look very far to see thread after thread dedicated to good advice on how to get a response around here or profile help.  All she did by her actions was prove to herself what most folks have been saying around here for years. If a thousand people have already said the same thing, is the thousandth and first person really contributing to 'the community'?

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Let's remember that within this 'community', there are a number of male Dominants who frequent these boards who have said time and time again that they have a good success rate in contacting others.  They attribute this to very basic concepts.  They read profiles, comment on what is written within it, and ask questions based on common interest in order to encourage response.  It really isn't rocket science to figure this out or hear enough people say the same thing to understand that it works.  If that is too much for someone to comprehend, maybe they had better work more on their social and communication skills before thinking about taking on more complex skills, such as relationships.

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I find it very odd that, within discussions where folks constantly sing the praises of honesty within communications, where we talk about integrity and trust, along comes a situation where someone comes along and specifically didn't take that road.   We're quick to condone that behavior.  Really?  When was the last time that you, out there, the reader, had someone lie to you and you were cool with it?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally
Yeah I get that, and I know a lot of people do little things like she has to help gather understanding, I am just saying that beyond that her experiment is no use. She did know this is what would happen to her thread she said so from the start so she can't be upset when it does happen. I was trying to knock the theory rather than the poster because she has been flamed enough imo

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ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I more less agree with your points, however man there sure are a lot of sexual raunchy females profiles that are just begging for the Sleezy humilation, sex and abuse in email. It's more like a competition for who is the biggest whore, slut and piece of fuck meat, no limits girl, that is looking for a True Dom to put them in their place and control everything about their pathetic lives.

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Anyways, every few weeks a guy makes a post to Message Board complaining, or looking for advice or help because they are not getting any responses from women in the emails they send or their profile. These guys are generally not the Rude & Vulgar ones sending out mindless trashy email either (at least not generally).

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So it gets to be somewhat confusing as to why these apparently decent guys are not getting a response. Believe it or not, even extremely well written profiles and emails don't get the response. Why? Because of something called personality or tone of the email. Some of these well written emails are in fact long winded and rather DULL DULL DULL. Does not snag the attention nor interest.

This is a very frustrating experience for guys that are sincere and are not being a Pig about things.

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The Moron/Idiot wanker factor does not apply. No, it's not utterly fracking apparent to people even with IQ's above 32. In fact this concept applies to REAL WORLD dating, where there are nice guys that just can't seem to draw or attract interest from the opposite sex (they ain't bad looking guys either, and they have jobs).

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It's so nice that lump all these guys as being "Fuckwits" when some of them ain't at all. Not everybody is good nor feels comfortable when emailing a complete stranger for the first time. It's a bit like Fracking Stage Fright for some people and has very little to with IQ.

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You can sit and toss around insults and belittlements or you can attempt to reach for understanding. That's rather a personal choice or decision for you to make. Every time anybody makes a post to a thread, a decision is made. A choice is made regarding the response to give. A choice is made to look for or not look for understanding. A choice is made to attempt to enter into constructive Debate. A choice is made to toss out Humor and Snarky comments for Laughs.

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I have to disagree with your simplist accessment about the IQ of 32, your comments about FuckWits and etc... because there really are some since guys that are not being PIGs and they are trying to put honest thought into what they are doing. They turn to the message looking for advice.

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Now with that said. If any guy came here to the message board looking for Advice on this subject, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA who I might Refer them to? The OP of this very thread. Why? Because of their own Personal Experience and Insight gained by their hands on Exploration into the matter. Then again, Experience is Priceless.

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In my not so humble Opinion, you'd be the last person I'd point them to for advice, cause you just might end up calling them a FuckWit or something. I'd fear you'd be way too impatient with them as well. I tend to think that about people who cast out name calling and Judgements quickly. Then again... this is just my own personal impression and thoughts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

*fast reply*
Wow. Poor OP. I can see people having an issue with what you did if you strung some of these women along with back and forth emails for a bit.
But.....you didn't.
If a single email and then a confessional reply email to a test subjects has such a negative, life altering effect on a person, then they have no business being part of an interactive adult world.
Some of you people are really making a huge deal and are taking what she did so personally. I wonder why.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Play time aside (which I think some folks are seeing this) you creative a profile, specifically so you could run your experiment.  You deceived people into thinking you were another person so that you would get the result you wished to obtain.  Not to mention using an approach that you knew was more likely to get a response, therefore, wasting their time.  On top of lying to them for this, you involved them non consensually in your project, which you did not disclose to them until after you deceived them and got your result.

It would be My opinion that you honestly owe some folks an apology.

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ORIGINAL: JBGolden

Well, in my opinion it definitely should be common sense that well written responses would get better results. Do I believe this to always be the case however?

No. Because that's just what I do and I definitely can't tout a 100% response rate. So there's a couple of things I'm curious about. You say you put up an average looking guy's picture. What picture was it? What did you write in your profile? Did you only message people near you or also further away? Did all 40 people you messaged look at your profile before answering that first time? There's so many variables that goes into getting a response past just writing a good message that you might've just got lucky getting a response to all of those if it's like you said it is.

While I don't think the OP acted maliciously I can see why some people would frown on it. I do mainly because I read about somebody who wrote a fake profile, wrote 40 messages and got responses from all 40 when I put in the same effort and got nowhere that amount. It seems a bit braggy and rankling.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If a thousand people have already said the same thing, is the thousandth and first person really contributing to 'the community'?

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ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower
but...yanno....with me having my research exam tomorrow (never had such boring stuff to get into my head) there are times where the researcher is better off NOT disclosing him/herself....to protect...him/herself...and is - ethically - allowed to do so!

now....at some projects researchers are even adviced not to disclose it even afterwards either...I think our OP would have benefitted from just enjoying herself about the results and just to shut up...nevertheless...I am glad she did say it and don't see it as an issue.

IMO it is not unethical as some folks mentioned...as after all it was one-offs to people and she explained it to them afterwards ... it is not like stringing them around for ages and doing false promises like many fools do on here

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


And as far as 100% response, well, how the fuck can we trust her results when she is an admitted fraud, poser, and unethical.... and yes I will say that as someone who works with human subjects and needs internal review of any research I undertake, people who play with other people in this way to satisfy their own curiosity  knowing what they are doing is wrong, well those people suck

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

WildRebel, my post was not directed to you, sorry should have hit fast reply.

I was addressing the posters who came in late, very late after I and many other posters already debated with the OP.

We all got through it and the thread went light and more fun and then some came late and are still asking the OP to defend herself, which she has more than adequately done.

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ORIGINAL: susie

FR

There are 2 other people on this thead who have admitted setting up fake profiles and messaging people. Why has nobody taken them to task for their dishonesty?

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Maybe here? In red?.....Nice people do silly things, *wrong* things...........it doesn't make them crappy people, it makes them people that have done *stuff wrong*.