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jujubeeMB -> RE: An Experiment (2/7/2010 10:31:04 AM)
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Ok, love that I went to sleep, woke up, and people are still arguing over the degree of wrong I committed. Look, there are only so many ways to say this: I realize that it was probably a mistake to do the experiment in the first place, and I've admitted that and apologized to the people involved, but I didn't get any negative anything until I got here to this message board. Whip is right - it was my intention to share more information, and possibly be helpful. I realize now that a lot of people feel that what I found is common knowledge, but I didn't actually KNOW that people felt that way until after this thread. I've actually read quite a few threads (though they get extremely long, and there are a lot) and I haven't seen many Doms all that convinced that they're doing anything wrong with their sometimes offensive, careless form letters. I completely believe that many people have taken the time and care to really try to help people with profile and email changes, but just because something has been covered doesn't mean that that's it - it's been covered for all eternity.
I was also trying to go about it in a different way - it's hard to believe anything you say when you come from the perspective of a straight woman on this site, because you haven't emailed tons of women and gotten no response. It might be that no one believes what I say either, and I am REALLY fine with that, but what I was trying to do was chip away at (not really put to rest) the complaint that women don't ever respond, by finding out how to GET women to respond. Since I don't know what I'm doing, I fully admit that it doesn't prove anything, because I didn't do the experiment scientifically. Probably the responses I got meant I was lucky - I admit I felt pretty lucky that I actually got thirty people to email me back, considering all the complaints about women never writing - but I think some of it has to do with an empathetic approach to email. And you can't tell me that people with an IQ over whatever know that, because VERY few of the hundreds of emails I get have any empathy in them at all.
Those who are judging the crap out of me after I admitted I made a mistake, I really wouldn't want to be you when YOU make a mistake. If other people's mistakes garner this much fire and indignation, your own must have you paralyzed. Intentions mean something, and I actually meant to do good. Just because it didn't work doesn't change the original intent.
IN CONCLUSION - I just want to repeat that I know what I did was unethical, and very likely a waste of time. I'm repeating that because whenever I say ANYthing, I get called a braggart. I'm not proud - certainly the tiny bit of pride I had in the beginning has been squashed to smithereens - but I'm not disgusted with myself. I'm (unfortunately) the only person who knows what actually happened in the emails, and therefore I can easily live with my conscience, even if some of you don't think I should. I made a mistake, I've been called out on it, and I think I've learned quite a few things. If you really think this is a waste of time, then stop wasting your time on it.
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