RE: An Experiment (Full Version)

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:04:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

jujubee, you did come here bragging. Just look at your OP: "I've just finished an experiment that I think had VERY interesting results, and I wanted to share."

And yes there are victims. I think the minute you give a sincere apology to this community and prove that you made things right with the others, the faster you will overcome this. No one made you confess this. You made this all public out of your own will and volition. Now deal with the mess you made graciously instead of being snarky.

- LA


I think she was excieted by the personal level of empathic understanding she gained from the experience and wanted to share, considering the number of posts from men complaining about it. Then again, this is my own personal take and opinion or otherwise view on the matter.



WildRebel -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:05:37 PM)

This is a very interesting experiment, because usually when I write emails (on my first profile, this is my second)  that I put much effort into I would never get a response.  Yet it was the short one or two-liners, the ones that everyone gripes about and supposedly hates, that actually got responses, whether positive or negative. 

That has been my experience, and though not quite universal it has been pretty consistent.  It's why on the rare occasion I write to a woman on here I keep it short and simple.  I see no reason to put a lot of effort into something when I'm more likely to get a response going the easy route. 

Then again, I've ignored a number of women myself who were either obvious scammers or couldn't read the profile I took the time to write (which is why I haven't bothered to go into any detail on this profile yet, what's the point?), so I probably shouldn't complain if women don't respond.  And I haven't, yet.

I'm not going to say you're lying, but it has been the complete opposite of my own experiences here.



jujubeeMB -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:07:29 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

jujubee, you did come here bragging. Just look at your OP: "I've just finished an experiment that I think had VERY interesting results, and I wanted to share."

And yes there are victims. I think the minute you give a sincere apology to this community and prove that you made things right with the others, the faster you will overcome this. No one made you confess this. You made this all public out of your own will and volition. Now deal with the mess you made graciously instead of being snarky.

- LA


I didn't come here to confess, and if I sounded like I was bragging in the OP, I brought up several times over the thread that I didn't mean to. It's so easy to misinterpret text as snarky or defensive - I would ask you to consider that I'm not being snarky... if we were having this conversation face to face you would know that instantly.

Tell me, what exactly does the community deserve an apology for? I've been respectful and patient for hours, and listened to every word that everyone has had to say. My opinion has even altered over the conversation - I think it would have been better not to do the whole thing in the first place. But I haven't done anything to the community as a whole. If you think I'm wrong about that, I'd love to hear what it is specifically that you think I should be apologizing for.

Also, I'm a bit skeptical about the whole "don't tell anybody" approach to unethical activities. I don't think admitting it makes the actual activity any better or worse.



sexyred1 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:08:47 PM)

She already said she made a mistake. Don't keep dragging it out; we all did earlier and talked it out.

Let it go, she is not evil incarnate.



WildRebel -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:09:58 PM)

Let it go?  I've commented once on this thread (this being the 2nd time).  I fail to see where you got the idea I was calling her "evil incarnate" from. 



sexyred1 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:11:22 PM)

WildRebel, my post was not directed to you, sorry should have hit fast reply.

I was addressing the posters who came in late, very late after I and many other posters already debated with the OP.

We all got through it and the thread went light and more fun and then some came late and are still asking the OP to defend herself, which she has more than adequately done.



WildRebel -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:12:59 PM)

All right then.  They really should say when you do a fast reply on here. 



LadyAngelika -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:13:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

jujubee, you did come here bragging. Just look at your OP: "I've just finished an experiment that I think had VERY interesting results, and I wanted to share."

And yes there are victims. I think the minute you give a sincere apology to this community and prove that you made things right with the others, the faster you will overcome this. No one made you confess this. You made this all public out of your own will and volition. Now deal with the mess you made graciously instead of being snarky.

- LA


I didn't come here to confess, and if I sounded like I was bragging in the OP, I brought up several times over the thread that I didn't mean to. It's so easy to misinterpret text as snarky or defensive - I would ask you to consider that I'm not being snarky... if we were having this conversation face to face you would know that instantly.


Fine. Ok, I will grant you that you aren't being snarky. I will however say though, as juliaoceania pointed out, the fact that you refuse to admit that there are no victims is really annoying.

quote:

Tell me, what exactly does the community deserve an apology for? I've been respectful and patient for hours, and listened to every word that everyone has had to say. My opinion has even altered over the conversation - I think it would have been better not to do the whole thing in the first place. But I haven't done anything to the community as a whole. If you think I'm wrong about that, I'd love to hear what it is specifically that you think I should be apologizing for.


Why don't I give you a few days to reflect on that one and let me know if you figure it out, ok?

quote:

Also, I'm a bit skeptical about the whole "don't tell anybody" approach to unethical activities. I don't think admitting it makes the actual activity any better or worse.


No, but admitting it did get you a whole bunch of unwanted grief, didn't it?

- LA



juliaoceania -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:14:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

She already said she made a mistake. Don't keep dragging it out; we all did earlier and talked it out.

Let it go, she is not evil incarnate.


I will let it go when she stops addressing me like I am the one that has done something wrong here... I haven't said one thing out of line to her



LadyAngelika -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:15:08 PM)

sexyred1,

I am not a late poster. Scroll back to page 1. I was the first respondant to the OP. I came back after a dinner party and I'm going to comment if I want to comment. And no, in my mind it isn't over yet.

I understand you and her are cool, but not everyone else is.

- LA



sexyred1 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:15:33 PM)

I know, Julia, but she admitted earlier on a few pages ago that she is pretty upset at the flaming and I think she might have had enough now.

She was doing the same to me and everyone else who disagreed with her earlier but if you read the whole thread, you would see it was finally resolved.



sexyred1 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:17:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

sexyred1,

I am not a late poster. Scroll back to page 1. I was the first respondant to the OP. I came back after a dinner party and I'm going to comment if I want to comment. And no, in my mind it isn't over yet.

I understand you and her are cool, but not everyone else is.

- LA


I realize that, LA. I was just trying to help because unlike some posters we have encountered who never get it, she eventually did.

But of course it is your option to post whatever you want. :)



LadyAngelika -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:22:05 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

sexyred1,

I am not a late poster. Scroll back to page 1. I was the first respondant to the OP. I came back after a dinner party and I'm going to comment if I want to comment. And no, in my mind it isn't over yet.

I understand you and her are cool, but not everyone else is.

- LA


I realize that, LA. I was just trying to help because unlike some posters we have encountered who never get it, she eventually did.

But of course it is your option to post whatever you want. :)


I read through the whole thread and I don't see where she stopped protesting that there were no victims. If you show me that, or if she admits it, then I might drop it.

Also, I won't hold my breath that she will get one of the "subjects" of the experiment to come to the boards and say "yes, she did aplogize". I actually don't believe that I don't believe the 100% response rate either. As a researcher, we know that a 100% response is almost impossible to acheive. When the lies stop, then again I might drop it.

If she does both, then I will definitely drop it.

- LA



juliaoceania -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:24:50 PM)

I did not read the entire thread... I read through several pages of it....I probably would have said something anyways because I think it is troubling that she would do it, but even more so that she would come on here and present it like it was a valid experiment... it just isn't! I would feel derelict in not presenting the side of people who do research that this sort of behavior is just people playing at something that could be harmful to someone. It is like any specialty field, people receive training for a reason....

It is not an exact analogy, but imagine that someone pretending to be a doctor hands out medical advice successfully for people that seem to have head colds... no one gets harmed 100s of times over... until the one person with lung cancer and a cough that won't go away gets told to take Nyquil and get some rest... there are reasons people get trained to do social science research. In this case it is hardly that serious.. but how about someone else that reads through this thread that gets an idea to take it several steps farther in a disturbing direction... yes there could be a bad outcome. And that is why I am posting so many responses to this...





jujubeeMB -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:27:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Now you can keep on posting how I have wrongly beat you up on this message board... but I stand by everything I have said... just adding if you really understood how wrong it was, you would not keep defending it.



I understand that it was wrong, just not to the degree that you're insisting. That's my only quarrel with you - a matter of degrees. I'm defending myself because it's frustrating admitting that you did something a bit unethical and having an avalanche of "NO - you were really REALLY wrong" tumbling down on you. I'm not going to ask you to see things from my perspective again, because man, does that annoy the heck out of you. But if you feel like it, you'll see why I keep responding to you.

I don't mean to make it sound like you're doing anything wrong (having just read your latest post to red) - it's just that the only way to NOT make it sound like I feel that way is to accept what you've said in full. It's sort of a Catch-22. I'm sorry, but I've admitted I was wrong to a degree, and that's the furthest degree I'm comfortable agreeing to. It's difficult to defend yourself without upsetting those who you feel have offended you.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:27:51 PM)

RePosting my opinion or thought back into things...

quote:


It's my personal opinion, she was did what she did as a TOOL for EMPATHIC understanding, hence why she called it Research. Personal Research and exploration does not have to fall into the framework of scientific stadards (to which it's apparent some people have this notion that it should).


In regards to the victim debate, what REAL or TRUE harm came from it? Again, it's not like she actually formed an online Cyber Relationship with somebody then turned around and broke their hearts a month or so later.

At the most, she might have perked somebody's expectation or hopes up a little, and let them down a little in the end. That happens all the time anyways, and is to be expected when meeting people online. Again, I fail to see where any TRUE or REAL harm resulted from her actions.

Now, if she posted that she ended up Breaking somebody's heart badly after a couple month long cyber affair and was looking for advice.. I would say... Yeah, let the Girl have it for hurting somebody and victimizing them.



sexyred1 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:28:38 PM)

I respect both LadyAngelika and juliaoceania. I actually agree with both of you. And I said that ad nauseum in my posts.

I did my part on this thread earlier as you both must have read. So now, I will gracefully step away and let the OP handle this, since it is really about her.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:31:25 PM)

Frack, I'm of the opinion she did nothing wrong as long as it did not cause anybody any TRUE or REAL harm..

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3051265





juliaoceania -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:31:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Now you can keep on posting how I have wrongly beat you up on this message board... but I stand by everything I have said... just adding if you really understood how wrong it was, you would not keep defending it.



I understand that it was wrong, just not to the degree that you're insisting. That's my only quarrel with you - a matter of degrees. I'm defending myself because it's frustrating admitting that you did something a bit unethical and having an avalanche of "NO - you were really REALLY wrong" tumbling down on you. I'm not going to ask you to see things from my perspective again, because man, does that annoy the heck out of you. But if you feel like it, you'll see why I keep responding to you.

I don't mean to make it sound like you're doing anything wrong (having just read your latest post to red) - it's just that the only way to NOT make it sound like I feel that way is to accept what you've said in full. It's sort of a Catch-22. I'm sorry, but I've admitted I was wrong to a degree, and that's the furthest degree I'm comfortable agreeing to. It's difficult to defend yourself without upsetting those who you feel have offended you.


What degree did I say it was wrong?

I said what you did "sucked"

I called it a "prank"... actually I got that from LadyAngelika whom I agree with)

And I stated that what you are not the judge of what you have done, but those who you did it to are the ones that are the judges...

So tell me, where did I demonize you?





Hawkwindblues -> RE: An Experiment (2/6/2010 10:31:34 PM)

quote:

experimental sex


Sounds quite exciting.



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