RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt?

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Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:44:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 In fact talking with my therapist... Chase did you talk with your therapist about sending this Master money? Did you go to your session with a print out of chat sessions and lay out the full details with him like you did here?

DesFIP -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:45:30 PM)
I disagree that a divorce is the best thing. But opening up communication with his wife is essential. She isn't getting her needs met anymore than the OP is. This isn't good. If they are best friends, truly love each other and are supportive of each other, then opening the relationship would be best. After all if one of them were ill and unable to have sex, we wouldn't suggest divorce. We would say either do without or talk about getting essential needs met elsewhere. Possibly including sex but also such ideas as getting skin touch through regular massage treatments, seeing friends regularly for stress relief, going to the gym since you no longer have a running partner at home. If the relationship is good and they are capable of it, then compartmentalizing sex and having that need met elsewhere would be best for everyone.

Phalus -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:46:14 PM)
a fool and his/her money soon part .

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:47:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Believe it or not I'm truly not fully convinced it was a scam. Maybe it was more like a sugar daddy thing... In which the internet payment as you say was the indirect way to make me pay. Chase, I'm going to express something and I'm normally pretty refrained when it comes to name calling. I think you're being a Niave Dumbass, wake up and smell the coffee, before the Animals drag you off into the forest and devour you. Seriously, please check out and read the material in the following link. http://www.hoax-slayer.com/internet-dating-scams.shtml Actually, I'm gonna cut copy and paste 4,5, and 6 for you., 4. Over time, the scammer will slowly earn the trust of the victim. He or she may discuss family, jobs and other details designed to make the correspondent seem like a real person who is genuinely interested in the victim. Photographs may be exchanged. However, the "person" that the victim thinks he or she is corresponding with, is likely to be purely an invention of the scammer. Photographs may not even show the real sender. The victim's apparent love interest may look completely different to the person in the photograph and, in reality, may not even be the same gender. 5. After the scammer has established the illusion of a genuine and meaningful relationship, he or she will begin asking the victim for money. For example. the scammer may claim that he or she wants to meet in person and ask the victim to send money for an airfare so that a meeting can take place. Or the scammer may claim that there has been a family medical emergency and request financial assistance. The scammer may use a variety of excuses to entice the victim to send funds. 6. If the victim complies and sends money, he or she will probably receive further such requests. With his or her judgement clouded by a burgeoning love for the scammer's imaginary character, he or she may continue to send money. Hey Whiplash, I emphasize no money did ever change hands and the relationship, such as there was one, HAS ENDED. I'm no longer in contact with this person. But thanks for calling me a Naive Dumbass, as a potentiual sub it feels sooo goooood lol.

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:49:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 In fact talking with my therapist... Chase did you talk with your therapist about sending this Master money? Did you go to your session with a print out of chat sessions and lay out the full details with him like you did here? yeah I explained everything to her.

AquaticSub -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:51:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Hey Whiplash, I emphasize no money did ever change hands and the relationship, such as there was one, HAS ENDED. I'm no longer in contact with this person. But thanks for calling me a Naive Dumbass, as a potentiual sub it feels sooo goooood lol. The money didn't change hands. So what? You still don't think this is a scam. Which means it's possible you'll send the next guy hundreds of dollars that you could have spent on marital therapy or put towards your kids to go to college.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:51:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I disagree that a divorce is the best thing. But opening up communication with his wife is essential. She isn't getting her needs met anymore than the OP is. This isn't good. If they are best friends, truly love each other and are supportive of each other, then opening the relationship would be best. After all if one of them were ill and unable to have sex, we wouldn't suggest divorce. We would say either do without or talk about getting essential needs met elsewhere. Possibly including sex but also such ideas as getting skin touch through regular massage treatments, seeing friends regularly for stress relief, going to the gym since you no longer have a running partner at home. If the relationship is good and they are capable of it, then compartmentalizing sex and having that need met elsewhere would be best for everyone. I second, this piece of advice. I've been staying off the topic of his marriage and kids. With exception of how the money would have been better spent on the kids. He came here looking for thoughts and advice regarding if he was being scammed. Though there are a few disturbing he's posted regarding family life. I second the advice DesFIP just tossed out though.

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 2:55:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP I disagree that a divorce is the best thing. But opening up communication with his wife is essential. She isn't getting her needs met anymore than the OP is. This isn't good. If they are best friends, truly love each other and are supportive of each other, then opening the relationship would be best. After all if one of them were ill and unable to have sex, we wouldn't suggest divorce. We would say either do without or talk about getting essential needs met elsewhere. Possibly including sex but also such ideas as getting skin touch through regular massage treatments, seeing friends regularly for stress relief, going to the gym since you no longer have a running partner at home. If the relationship is good and they are capable of it, then compartmentalizing sex and having that need met elsewhere would be best for everyone. Thanks DesFIP, I agree with everything you said. I will probably bring up the subject of an open marriage with my wife (where we can have sex elsewhere without guilt). Actually that is something like what I already have (sort of). But she doesn't. As it turns out she will spend a month away from us over the summer, and one thing I discussed with my therapist today was to tell her (my wife) that if she gets some sex then I wouldn't mind.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 3:02:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Hey Whiplash, I emphasize no money did ever change hands and the relationship, such as there was one, HAS ENDED. I'm no longer in contact with this person. But thanks for calling me a Naive Dumbass, as a potentiual sub it feels sooo goooood lol. Chase, Thanks for the clarification that you did not send money this "Scam Daddy". However, I still stand by "Niave Dumbass" only on a scale of 1-10, it's moved down a little from where it was before. Now Now, don't tell me.. you are truely seeking true verbal humilation and punishment over this matter. (reflecting upon the past threads started by others).

Falkenstein -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 3:13:31 PM)
Chase, Frankly, I am not so sure that this is a "scam". Also I do not think that lying to you once should be considered as an absolute proof (it is however a big red flag). I just assume that your friend is from a 3rd world countries. A European would have asked you for "help" to pay the bills not "gift" A brazilian woman would definitely ask for a gift --or rather she would remind you that you are not a really caring friend since you did not offer her... a (significant) gift -- yes I am heterosexual. In these kind of countries, as it was in ours until recently friendship and love have a very material side. Thus I would not be upset with my online love asking me in a rather direct way for a "gift" aka some kind of support. Frankly, given the difference of living standard between my country (Switzerland) and theirs, I would have no qualms letting a few notes go over the western union if I felt a genuine friendship. After all, each of us already gave thausends so that bankers can afford ferraris and yachts, so why are you suddenly so stingy (just kidding, your donation to the banking industry is in the tens of thausends). Of course, you may object that your online friend never shafted you as well as your banker, but it is not a fair comparison. I think you should first try to dispell cross cultural errors, and then decide for yourself. If you ask for explications, be very litteral and profusely apologize for being the ugly European/American /whatever bore. Whatever your decision, explain it in the context of your culture. And keep your wife out of that Good luck Henry

Lucienne -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 3:44:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Thanks DesFIP, I agree with everything you said. I will probably bring up the subject of an open marriage with my wife (where we can have sex elsewhere without guilt). Actually that is something like what I already have (sort of). But she doesn't. As it turns out she will spend a month away from us over the summer, and one thing I discussed with my therapist today was to tell her (my wife) that if she gets some sex then I wouldn't mind. I caught a BBC program a few years ago that was about marriages such as yours -- where things get to a certain point, kids are involved, and the man realizes he's, well... gotta get some cock/form an intimate relationship with another man. I don't remember the name. A quick google search yielded little, but I'm going to do some more digging because I suspect it would be a good thing for you to watch, and then possibly share with your wife. The couples in the documentary handled it in different ways, some staying married, others divorcing. I don't know if your wife is religious at all, but the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So" is an intelligent and moving study of how assorted individuals and their loved ones (including spouses) came to grips with their homosexuality, including questions raised by religious beliefs. I think Des made a great point about compartmentalization. So it doesn't seem like you should express to your wife that you don't "mind" if she has sex as much as express that you want her, your best friend, to be sexually satisfied and support her efforts to do that with people other than you.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 3:49:49 PM)
Falkenstien, Have you read through the whole thread, reading everything that chase has posted/shared with people? As you expressed you would have no Qualms about cutting loose with some notes oversea's.. would you if you were on a tight budget and meant having to not eat lunch, and hide the money you spent? He's married has kids, in the same household where him and wife have a budget. He's not some single guy that can spend and send money left and right on anything or anybody. There's also a tight coupling of Love and Materism here in America!!! His Love of his Kids and Wife (dispite the fact he's gay). This Love does have materialistic coupling, and it takes money for the materialistic needs. In regards to donations to the Banking Industry!! everybody did not mail in a contribution like it was a Relief for Haiti fund, or Help the Children or Help save the Seals fund. This is not how it went down. But it's so nice that you mix political and country financials, into the things on this thread. AIG bonuses is not the topic here. In regards to GIFTS and HELP.. here in the US.. when a friend is in need. They will ask for "help" just like the Europeans do. In regards to "Gifts" in the lifestyle. The Concept of "Tribute" is tossed out. Where this is a demand for "Gifts". Money happens to be the most common form asked for on the internet. Most "tributes" are really scams online, Again you see this asking of "Gifts" here in the US regarding "the lifestyle".

redwoodgirl -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 3:56:05 PM)
''Yeah you're right, as were all of the other ones. In reponse to several people: I was very upfront in all of my contacts through CM that I was married. As for how I deal with my wife, she "knows" about me in general, and told me that I can explore, as long as I don't tell her about it. That's what I am doing. I'd like to share all of this with her -- she is my companion and best friend -- but in order to protect her feelings I can't. '' EZ, is that you? LMAO what a bust if it is.

MsMillgrove -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:13:05 PM)
This thread if nothing else.. is a caution to those whose immediate reaction is to say "get therapy." Here's a person who has been seeing a qualified therapist (presumably) for some time. And he's spent two weeks on CM, got himself way in over his head, has a confusing relationship with his wife. All while in therapy. Makes you wonder how bad things might be without the therapy. Doesn't seem as though he can think clearly on any topic except how to save his lunch money so his wife won't know, having successfully blown his lunch money in the past at the book store. wow, the mind just boggles. I hope I don't sound callous, I do feel for the OP, but it seems like "is this a scam?" is the least of his troubles. Of course it's a scam, how can he even wonder on it? If his wife is his best friend and the children the center of their lives, where did he find the time to spend hours in communication with this wonderful master overseas? And the IM convo with a sub who needs a master? This is someone's real life? ...wandering away to contemplate a better use of my own time...

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:17:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Falkenstein Chase, Frankly, I am not so sure that this is a "scam". Also I do not think that lying to you once should be considered as an absolute proof (it is however a big red flag). I just assume that your friend is from a 3rd world countries. A European would have asked you for "help" to pay the bills not "gift" A brazilian woman would definitely ask for a gift --or rather she would remind you that you are not a really caring friend since you did not offer her... a (significant) gift -- yes I am heterosexual. In these kind of countries, as it was in ours until recently friendship and love have a very material side. Thus I would not be upset with my online love asking me in a rather direct way for a "gift" aka some kind of support. Frankly, given the difference of living standard between my country (Switzerland) and theirs, I would have no qualms letting a few notes go over the western union if I felt a genuine friendship. After all, each of us already gave thausends so that bankers can afford ferraris and yachts, so why are you suddenly so stingy (just kidding, your donation to the banking industry is in the tens of thausends). Of course, you may object that your online friend never shafted you as well as your banker, but it is not a fair comparison. I think you should first try to dispell cross cultural errors, and then decide for yourself. If you ask for explications, be very litteral and profusely apologize for being the ugly European/American /whatever bore. Whatever your decision, explain it in the context of your culture. And keep your wife out of that Good luck Henry Thoughtful post Henry (love that handle: Falkenstein). I'm well aware of the cultural differences (I'm from Europe myself, and grew up partly in Africa and partly in Asia), and that is precisely why I still don't quite bring myself to a probability of 100% this was a scam. But it's getting closer... I started at 20% with the OP and now am probably like 80%. One can never be absolutely sure, no matter what whiplash says [:)] And yes, this is a thirld world country. Thanks (on "good luck" that is).

ResidentSadist -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:23:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 . . . Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side. . . Dear OP, Fuck the money story, tell us about switching from a switch in 2 weeks time. That is 10 times funnier than the all too familiar scam tale. What epiphany caused you to switch away from switching? Sincerely, Kalon Eric

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:24:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove This thread if nothing else.. is a caution to those whose immediate reaction is to say "get therapy." Here's a person who has been seeing a qualified therapist (presumably) for some time. And he's spent two weeks on CM, got himself way in over his head, has a confusing relationship with his wife. All while in therapy. Makes you wonder how bad things might be without the therapy. Doesn't seem as though he can think clearly on any topic except how to save his lunch money so his wife won't know, having successfully blown his lunch money in the past at the book store. wow, the mind just boggles. I hope I don't sound callous, I do feel for the OP, but it seems like "is this a scam?" is the least of his troubles. Of course it's a scam, how can he even wonder on it? If his wife is his best friend and the children the center of their lives, where did he find the time to spend hours in communication with this wonderful master overseas? And the IM convo with a sub who needs a master? This is someone's real life? ...wandering away to contemplate a better use of my own time... I'm sort of wondering, if perhaps a TENS unit was ever hooked up to his forehead at some point in time... (this might explain a lot).

ResidentSadist -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:25:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance . . . I'd say if it walks like a duck, loooks like a duck and quacks like a duck - its probably a duck, but this is CM - it could be a goose. Don't mess wit' da' goose!

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:30:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 . . . Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side. . . Dear OP, Fuck the money story, tell us about switching from a switch in 2 weeks time. That is 10 times funnier than the all too familiar scam tale. What epiphany caused you to switch away from switching? Sincerely, Kalon Eric Ummmmmm.... preeeety interrrrrestinnnngg....

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:32:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance . . . I'd say if it walks like a duck, loooks like a duck and quacks like a duck - its probably a duck, but this is CM - it could be a goose. Don't mess wit' da' goose! Something's clearly Fowl though...

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