RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt?

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chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:35:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Thanks DesFIP, I agree with everything you said. I will probably bring up the subject of an open marriage with my wife (where we can have sex elsewhere without guilt). Actually that is something like what I already have (sort of). But she doesn't. As it turns out she will spend a month away from us over the summer, and one thing I discussed with my therapist today was to tell her (my wife) that if she gets some sex then I wouldn't mind. I caught a BBC program a few years ago that was about marriages such as yours -- where things get to a certain point, kids are involved, and the man realizes he's, well... gotta get some cock/form an intimate relationship with another man. I don't remember the name. A quick google search yielded little, but I'm going to do some more digging because I suspect it would be a good thing for you to watch, and then possibly share with your wife. The couples in the documentary handled it in different ways, some staying married, others divorcing. I don't know if your wife is religious at all, but the documentary "For the Bible Tells Me So" is an intelligent and moving study of how assorted individuals and their loved ones (including spouses) came to grips with their homosexuality, including questions raised by religious beliefs. I think Des made a great point about compartmentalization. So it doesn't seem like you should express to your wife that you don't "mind" if she has sex as much as express that you want her, your best friend, to be sexually satisfied and support her efforts to do that with people other than you. Thanks Lucienne if you ever find the program let me know. No, religion is not a factor here. And finally I agree with the new phrasing that you suggest. It's still very difficult, you see, she might not feel liberated at all -- quite the opposite she might see such a talk as a preamble to a divorce. See, the reality is that I believe that in spite of it all she is happy. So I do need to tread carefully here.

xxblushesxx -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:35:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 . . . Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side. . . Dear OP, Fuck the money story, tell us about switching from a switch in 2 weeks time. That is 10 times funnier than the all too familiar scam tale. What epiphany caused you to switch away from switching? Sincerely, Kalon Eric RS, he's obviously still exploring his sexuality. Since he's willing to consider becoming slave OR master, I think he is still a switch. Maybe he's having a hard time explaining himself, what with the two different encounters, one with a "master" and one with a "slave". (wouldn't that be interesting if they ended up both being the same scammer though?)

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:41:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 quote: ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove This thread if nothing else.. is a caution to those whose immediate reaction is to say "get therapy." Here's a person who has been seeing a qualified therapist (presumably) for some time. And he's spent two weeks on CM, got himself way in over his head, has a confusing relationship with his wife. All while in therapy. Makes you wonder how bad things might be without the therapy. Doesn't seem as though he can think clearly on any topic except how to save his lunch money so his wife won't know, having successfully blown his lunch money in the past at the book store. wow, the mind just boggles. I hope I don't sound callous, I do feel for the OP, but it seems like "is this a scam?" is the least of his troubles. Of course it's a scam, how can he even wonder on it? If his wife is his best friend and the children the center of their lives, where did he find the time to spend hours in communication with this wonderful master overseas? And the IM convo with a sub who needs a master? This is someone's real life? ...wandering away to contemplate a better use of my own time... I'm sort of wondering, if perhaps a TENS unit was ever hooked up to his forehead at some point in time... (this might explain a lot). "TENS unit"? Don't know what that means, but sounds vaguely obscene...

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:44:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 . . . Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side. . . Dear OP, Fuck the money story, tell us about switching from a switch in 2 weeks time. That is 10 times funnier than the all too familiar scam tale. What epiphany caused you to switch away from switching? Sincerely, Kalon Eric RS, he's obviously still exploring his sexuality. Since he's willing to consider becoming slave OR master, I think he is still a switch. Maybe he's having a hard time explaining himself, what with the two different encounters, one with a "master" and one with a "slave". (wouldn't that be interesting if they ended up both being the same scammer though?) That WOULD be extremely funny -- but no luck there -- different countries.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:48:58 PM)
Chase, what countries specifically?

chase4647 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:53:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Chase, what countries specifically? Have tried very hard not to mention any countries, names, etc. But nice try! Maybe I'll do it with enough verbal abuse[:)]

dreamerdreaming -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:56:27 PM)
Ghana and Nigeria, of course. Duh. Like we don't know. [sm=Groaner.gif]

xxblushesxx -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 5:57:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx quote: ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 . . . Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side. . . Dear OP, Fuck the money story, tell us about switching from a switch in 2 weeks time. That is 10 times funnier than the all too familiar scam tale. What epiphany caused you to switch away from switching? Sincerely, Kalon Eric RS, he's obviously still exploring his sexuality. Since he's willing to consider becoming slave OR master, I think he is still a switch. Maybe he's having a hard time explaining himself, what with the two different encounters, one with a "master" and one with a "slave". (wouldn't that be interesting if they ended up both being the same scammer though?) That WOULD be extremely funny -- but no luck there -- different countries. How do you know?

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 6:13:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Chase, what countries specifically? Have tried very hard not to mention any countries, names, etc. But nice try! Maybe I'll do it with enough verbal abuse[:)] Actually, depending what the countries are... I'm afraid I might want to use you for pure sadistic entertainment purposes. Get you to wear a Latex Doggie suit, and make you go diving for beer bottles caps in the swimming pool, and give you milk bones afterwards. I'm certain it would be entertainment for a BBQ cookout. Nothing sexual, but it would all be rather sadistic and entertaining for me and my Guests. So what's the countries again?

stella41b -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/11/2010 6:29:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 I came from fairly dysfunctional parents (duh!) This is bullshit. Why are you blaming your parents for your own actions as an adult? The concept of a 'normal family' is a myth. There's no such thing as a 'normal family'. And what standard are you holding your parents up to? I'm sorry, but when a baby comes into a family it doesn't suddenly make both parents perfect. It just means a baby comes into the family. However there's two facts which are usually very true. One is that everyone has been deprived of something, somewhere. Second thing is you are responsible for everything you think, say, and do. And that's been the case ever since you were born. You are responsible for everything that comes out of your mouth, everything that you do, every decision you make, you are responsible. quote: They feel secure in a united household. In fact talking with my therapist (today -- first time I mentioned anything to her about collarme, after all only been here for 2 weeks) she said that if we split up the kids would lose their security blanket for a while, until (implied: if?) they adapted. Mind you, she wasn't necessarily disagreeing with me splitting up, and of course I would move to very near them. But there is a cost associated, and it's not good for the kids. Of course the kids would feel more secure in a united household with both parents together and guess what, divorce is never good for the kids. However unfortunately we don't live in an ideal world where everyone makes the right decisions before getting married and having them. And yes, there are costs associated with divorce and it can be a very insecure process, but you know there's a lot of kids out there who are doing fine without the financial security, and some in abject poverty. Kids cope, they get through, and sometimes far better in a divorce than their parents. quote: As for therapist, see a few paragraphs above -- already doing it, and I might add, with a person who's a true genious, an innovation for me after a couple of bad ones. Alas, she is retiring! And I'm not ready! This one's for the peanut gallery out there who keep yelling 'get therapy' at every available opportunity. Therapy to me is a bit like the self-help books out there in the book shop - useless if the person needing them isn't going to make any effort to make use of the help available. But we can see it again, the OP is holding the therapist up to a standard and blaming them without looking at his own actions. You're not ready? When are you going to be ready? How long do you need? How much time do you really need to understand that you are responsible for everything you think, say and do, and that change isn't going to take place until you really want and commit yourself to making those changes?

ranja -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/12/2010 1:46:00 AM)
Chase, it doesn't matter if it was a scam or not, you've been here two weeks and you indulged yourself in some cyber... it was a virtual affair thas all... NOT REAL... a fantasy trip... don't get lost here man. your 'Master' might have lost his internet connection because his wife banned him from it... something your wife might consider doing for you really... i think to have your internet time limited would do you more good than any amount of therapy. Have you considered asking your wife if she would be comfortable massaging your prostate? or maybe even wear and use a strap on?

redwoodgirl -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/12/2010 5:41:29 AM)
Its always definetly better to ask for what you need at HOME before looking for it elsewhere...... jus' sayin'

LadyPact -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/12/2010 7:17:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chase4647 Thanks Lucienne if you ever find the program let me know. No, religion is not a factor here. And finally I agree with the new phrasing that you suggest. It's still very difficult, you see, she might not feel liberated at all -- quite the opposite she might see such a talk as a preamble to a divorce. See, the reality is that I believe that in spite of it all she is happy. So I do need to tread carefully here. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You are here, because you are so unhappy at home, and don't have a partner that satisfies your wants, but you believe that she is happy? Why on earth should she settle for less than a fulfilling life, anymore than you should? You expect her to just be content with the status quo while you're 'finding' yourself? That has got to be some of the worst hogwash that I have heard.

Lucienne -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/12/2010 8:04:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact You are here, because you are so unhappy at home, and don't have a partner that satisfies your wants, but you believe that she is happy? Why on earth should she settle for less than a fulfilling life, anymore than you should? You expect her to just be content with the status quo while you're 'finding' yourself? I don't get the impression that he expects her to be happy with this. But the way he tells the story (who knows what she would say) it sounds like she's in denial. She was happy with the status quo and she wants him to take care of his cock needs without her knowing about it. Obviously, I don't know the history of their relationship or how long he's known he is gay or what actual physical experience he's had with other men. But it wouldn't be unusual at all for a closeted/in denial homosexual to seek out a partner of the opposite sex that he respects and loves (without passion) and then forms a strong mutually supportive relationship and family unit with. For some homosexuals (men and women), it is precisely the formation of this near "ideal" relationship that finally forces them to acknowledge that their sexuality is not something they can tamp down forever. If he can't fall passionately in love with this great woman that he loves and is best friends with... he's never going to be able to get that with any woman. And depending on the degree to which he's been satisfying her sexual urges, it's entirely possible that she really is happy with their current dynamic and doesn't want it to be disrupted. This would be extremely difficult for her to deal with and I can see how someone would park in the denial stage for as long as they could. That's the "not hogwash" (I word I adore, btw) interpretation of the situation.

Falkenstein -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/13/2010 2:21:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4 Falkenstien, Have you read through the whole thread, reading everything that chase has posted/shared with people? As you expressed you would have no Qualms about cutting loose with some notes oversea's.. would you if you were on a tight budget and meant having to not eat lunch, and hide the money you spent? He's married has kids, in the same household where him and wife have a budget. He's not some single guy that can spend and send money left and right on anything or anybody. There's also a tight coupling of Love and Materism here in America!!! His Love of his Kids and Wife (dispite the fact he's gay). This Love does have materialistic coupling, and it takes money for the materialistic needs. In regards to donations to the Banking Industry!! everybody did not mail in a contribution like it was a Relief for Haiti fund, or Help the Children or Help save the Seals fund. This is not how it went down. But it's so nice that you mix political and country financials, into the things on this thread. AIG bonuses is not the topic here. In regards to GIFTS and HELP.. here in the US.. when a friend is in need. They will ask for "help" just like the Europeans do. In regards to "Gifts" in the lifestyle. The Concept of "Tribute" is tossed out. Where this is a demand for "Gifts". Money happens to be the most common form asked for on the internet. Most "tributes" are really scams online, Again you see this asking of "Gifts" here in the US regarding "the lifestyle". Whiplash, I never, ever read any posts before posting my own profound, thought-provoking pieces of wisdoms. You are the first one to notice. As for the quip on the Banking industry. I know we did not mail the checks: it was a "help yourself" program on the side of the banks and a non-sequitur on mine. Are you or your SO in the financial industry?

Falkenstein -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/13/2010 2:52:16 PM)
Hi Chase, Given your background it seems that you could teach me a few things on cross cultural interactions, but I did not know. It may sound hypocritical to most of the people here, but as long as you are a good father and husband, devoting the bulk of your energy, revenue, attention and love to your wife and kids, diverting a little to satisfy other interests, being miniature trains, post stamps, politics or gay BDSM is just a pastime. Solid (as in very dense) sportsfans are depriving their families from a lot more resources and attention than you seems to allocate to your inclination. Nevertheless, out of respect to my wife, I would keep the highest possible discretion and perfect deniability. And I would buy her red roses tomorrow and otherwise at random intervals. Just out of curiosity, why do you like my handle? Good luck (again ;-) Henry

Taboogurl -> RE: What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/14/2010 1:12:06 AM)
LOL gimme all your money!!

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