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RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 5:06:34 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		I also have noticed when flipping through profiles that there are more than enough bitching and demanding Dommes and Mistresses out there.  "Kiss my ass.  Lick my boots.  Smell my feet" crap in their profile.  If I was a male sub I would walk up to them and slap them senseless.  And I am not even looking.  I was just disgusted by what I saw.  It does not make you sound like a Domme, Mistress or anyone in control.  It makes you sound like a complete loser.  No wonder they are still seeking.

Well that is My little rant.  If it means a few less subs knocking on My door then so be it. 

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 5:09:12 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I just want to know, what the hell this has to do with North Carolina??????




_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to carde)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 5:28:01 PM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline 		Personally all the bitching and whining are a bit much. No one can do anything about anything but you - i wish you luck


< Message edited by Submotive -- 3/27/2006 5:31:02 PM >

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to carde)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 5:52:05 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: carde

Hi again,
First, before anything I would like to thank everyone (Everyone that is) who read and replied to my first post, wether we are agreement or not

The "temper tantrum" was meant as a joke

I lumped many of you into the same group and as I stated near the bottom of my email " To those who do not fit into the above I do apologize ....". For those that read all of it, thank you, even if you do not agree with me.

I knew that this would raise a bunch of ire with some and given a couple of the insults that were replied think it proved my case better than I could.

I am not whiney .. at all .. period. I was expressing my frustration at actual experiences here, that is what message boards are for. All that I am trying to point out is that honesty, politeness and a little decorum is much better when trying meet someone of like mind. If you were standing at a bar with some friends, and a man walked by you, smiled and said hello, would you scream at him, or just turn your head? When you went to this bar, would you shower and put on clean clothes? Would you wear a veil? The same courtesies and manners apply here do they not?

Anyways, I am not going to get in a pissing match with anyone (please pardon the language, but the word truly fits for this) on here for any reason, although I am always up for a good debate. As for personal interactions, they are just that, personal, so you will all just have to live with one side of the story <grin>

Again, thank you for the replies and the opinions, they all are important, the supportive ones are even nice.

I know there are nice and real people out there, we just need to wade through the others.


I find this post far more offensive than the original one. Do you think you have designed a litmus test for the relationship you seek? Provoke people and see who responds? Tsk tsk, you call your self intellegent. Hmmm, remains to be seen.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to carde)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 5:56:01 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		well, he "did" manage to get people to respond...for good or ill...in the long run...who really does have the intelligence here?

just curoius.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 6:07:00 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

i think it was very well written...


Me too actually and i usually steer clear of the "first timers" "first whine" about "how they cant find anyone suitable"  You'd be AMAZED Carde how many posts we get like this on here.  From different points of views of course.  But i must say, out of all of them.. i'd say yours is the best.  <grins>  You actually sound like a well thought out, intelligent person and of course it was well written.  All very normal stuff too.  Not the "normal" rant.  Like you know there is two sides to the coin.. any which way you go.  i'd actually have to say i'm impressed and if this is some sneaky attempt at self promotion, you did a fine job of it

(in reply to kittensmailbox)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 6:24:55 PM   
carde


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
I find this post far more offensive than the original one.

I am not sure why you would find any of this offensive, it is certainly not meant to be.

"Do you think you have designed a litmus test for the relationship you seek?"
..... if it is my relationship, should I not have some say in it?

Provoke people and see who responds?
It was not put up to provoke anyone, nor any particular response, just comments about my experience, and how I felt about it. I am not going to apologize as I have stated more than once that not everyone fits into this which I have complained about, and Dommes (or anyone for that matter) that do not fall into this will not take offense even if they disagree with me.

Tsk tsk, you call your self intellegent. (yourself intelligent)
Not really, I want someone else to control me, how intelligent can that be?

Hmmm, remains to be seen.
You will have to read the book.

I didn't take any personal swipes at anyone, I had expected the same courtesy.

Now that I have finished work, I am going down to the laboratory, with my test results and a few body parts (don't ask) and build the perfect Domme ... then take over the world!!

Sleep well Y'all
carde

(in reply to Cloudz)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 6:29:10 PM   
MstrFury


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		welcome to the world of reality...as dirverse as the colors of the spectrum so are the thought...views..attitudes and yes...responses....sort of like road rage when you see profiles that upset you....why not get off that expressway and travel a road with more plesant sceneary...just like an ignore button...bypass the ones that offend your brainwaves and connect on the ones that have meaning to what you're looking for....don't tear up the whole lawn just to kill a few weeds......oh yeah by the way...welcome to the boards...

Fury

(in reply to carde)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 7:05:40 PM   
subrob1967


Posts: 4591
Joined: 9/13/2004
Status: offline 		How come I don't have Domme's baragging me with one line messages, or asking me for pics? Methinks doth protestith too much.

(in reply to MstrFury)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/27/2006 9:02:37 PM   
paranatural


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		Eh, it's no good on my side either (Dominant man). Same stuff mostly applies actually. You and 50,000 other guys, 99% of which you've never even seen in the local scene you've been a member of for the past 3-4 years, all competing for the same 20 or so submissives. Those without names like 'miserablecuntbucket' or who are 30 years your senior never respond to thought-out and polite emails, but are soon 'collared' by some guy who has a profile consisting of a pick of his cock and post that goes along the lines of 'i wunt me sum yung pu$$y'.

You really start to lose your faith in humanity.

(in reply to MizSuz)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/28/2006 5:16:40 AM   
fldrkhorse


Posts: 158
Joined: 11/5/2005
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Well for whatever reason I felt the need to offer advice. First, although I have the highest respect for Mistress Hathor, I disgree that she owes any explanation.
 
2nd. This is a very long and slow process. Unfortunately when the serious feel need, the need becomes greater than time. Patience is the hardest thing for any sub to understand. It is not about time, it's about growth. Growth to learn and understand ones self, this lifestyle, and what they want, need, and expect. We can and should learn something from each and every encounter, not look at the encounter (or lack of) as failure. I for one understand and share your frustrations. The point is we all do, we've all been there. Most of us are there now.
 
3rd. One of lifes lessons is 99% of rejections are not personal. They have nothing to do with you specifically. Those that don't respond, move on. Present yourself in the best light possible to be noticed and you will. Present yourself to be intelligent and honorable and you will be noticed. The goal is not to meet everyone, the goal is to meet the right one. Therefore you have to be in the right headspace when theres a knock at the door. For example in a social setting if you ask someone to dance and they refuse, it's not personal. For whatever reason they've chosen not to. Life is about choices grasshopper and not all of them will be yours or about you. You could be the reincarnate of Barishnokov and Astaire but they've chosen not to dance with you. Therefore take your twinkle toes and ask another until you get to dance.
 
Is this process exausting? You be it is! Is it frustrating, exaspurating, humiliating (hold on while I check my thesaurus) trying, annoying, wearisome, maddening, and provoking? You bet it is. The process is to teach you to cherish the right one when they come. You have to get in the swamp with the rest of us up to your ass in alligators and wade through hoping not to loose you cojones in the process. Again, the process is not personal. If someone stikes your fancy, approach respectfully. If they choose not to respond, wish them well. Seek and ye shall find. Catchy huh? I just made that up by the way. Feel free to quote me.

_____________________________

I'm not where I need to be, but I'm better than I was yesterday.

Namaste, I honor the divine in you

(in reply to carde)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/28/2006 6:03:53 AM   
carde


Posts: 13
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting, and  the input is very much appreciated and understood. It is a little off the mark to what I was trying to say, but truly appreciated in the spirit it was given.
carde

(in reply to fldrkhorse)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/28/2006 7:54:02 AM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

well, he "did" manage to get people to respond...for good or ill...in the long run...who really does have the intelligence here?

just curoius.

Michael...did that count as a response? Just curious <grin>



_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/28/2006 11:52:49 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

I just want to know, what the hell this has to do with North Carolina??????

The OP is from NC. (Ascertained by viewing his profile.)


_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 12:39:02 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: BeachMystress
Since your online experiences are so bad, why don't you go out and meet people for real? http://www.psicorps.org/triangle/ You'll no longer have the problem of outdated photos or people hiding behind a keyboard being rude.

I do suggest you leave the negativity at home if you decide to attend the munch. People tend to avoid complainers.
ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn
Well, don't send him HERE!  I'm in N. Carolina too and don't want his whiny ass and judgemental attitudes infecting our really great play parties.  Let him stay online with all the other whiners and wankers!

ROFLMAO. I see your point. But actually, I think the whiny behaviour of the OP is just frustration. We all have those moments. If he leaves the negativity at home, I think he'd do a lot better in a face to face situation. Finding someone is never easy. Realizing that comes from experience. I truly know how frustrating it is -the search to find a compatible person with the same goals as yourself. I actually gave up and quit looking. (So I don't want to hear any crap about the fact that male subs are the only ones who have a hard time finding someone real, realistic, attractive to them and single.) I was getting my need for BDSM interaction from joining a FemDom munch (and ignoring the male subs) and by doing pick up play at the local dungeons. I was lucky enough to find someone once I quit caring about finding a partner.

When I met him at a FemDom party he caught my eye because he was actually serving, rather than socializing like the other subs. He also had a hot body and was marked as a single sub. When the play opportunity was presented, I already knew I wanted to play with him. (I must admit, my head wasn't the one making that decision. *evil grin*) I knew he wanted to play with me because he shouldered other subs I was also offered out of the way. The play was incredible. He'd so impressed me by serving and his desire to play with me, that I put a lot more into our session than I usually would for some unknown guy. Every time I asked for something he responded with everything he had to give. By the end of the play session, because of the depth and honesty of his submission, (rather than his good looks, hot bod and big cock) I'd decided that he was going to be mine. He was new to the lifestyle and wasn't looking for a relationship, so I knew he needed time to come to the conclusion that I was the one and only for him. Neither of us walked into that party with the intention of finding a partner.  We've now been married for 9 months.

So as I said in my first post, if it isn't working for you online, go real time. (Sorry LadyMorgynn.. but I do think he'd do better in person.) As I also said, check the negativity at the door. It doesn't show you in a good light. People prefer being around lighthearted upbeat people. And so LadyMorgynn doesn't hunt me down and shave me bald, please read http://www.soj.org/articles/A%20Beginners%20Guide%20to%20BDSM%20Munches.htm before you go so you have some ideas of the accepted dress and behaviours at a munch.


_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 12:49:56 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I personally didn’t find anything too off colour but then compared with a few first timers recently something would have to have been left to rot in the tropical sun to compare…..

  What I will say however that both Hathor and Cloudz are special people to me.. I guess it first I spared with them testing and probing (what erotic thoughts hmmmm VEWG) but somewhere some how I discovered the worth and depth of value each has to offer. I’m proud to call both these ladies friend and have yet top see them post unjustly. They will and do shoot from the shoulder and tell it like they see it..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 12:59:47 AM   
SoulfulSadism


Posts: 53
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline 		Carde - well written, well expressed. And you kept your poise and politeness all through. Good writing.

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 1:35:05 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Well, don't send him HERE!  I'm in N. Carolina too and don't want his whiny ass and judgemental attitudes infecting our really great play parties.  Let him stay online with all the other whiners and wankers!


I'm not in North Carolina but I wouldn't care to converse with him, either. 

Who's got a board gag handy?

; )

Texas Maam

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 1:41:14 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

well, he "did" manage to get people to respond...for good or ill...in the long run...who really does have the intelligence here?

just curoius.



I'm intelligent enough to know that I'm glad I saw his post here on the boards; *block*

; )

Texas Maam

(in reply to michaelGA)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I will probably be shouted down ... - 3/29/2006 1:41:18 AM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
Seems like carde better change his ID before going real time. LOL. I think he's already managed to burn this one with his local Domme.



_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 40
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