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in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 12:47:29 AM

quietsub13

Posts: 2
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline

i have been talking to my Sir for a while and He calls me His girl. At times i want to call Him Master as i truly want to give myself to Him, but He hasn't asked. i ache at the thought of not being able to talk to Him and i dream about belonging to Him. Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

Post #: 1

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 12:59:52 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

You could always just ask him. Say... "I'd like to call you master. How do you feel about that?"
If you hesitate to ask him questions or just to communicate in general, especially over something as simple as this, then you will have a lot of problems in your relationship.
Talking and asking questions are not "unsubly"

_____________________________

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 2

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 1:01:15 AM

EbonyWood

Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

Living up to your name?

I'm not sure if you're caught up in nomenclature or asking something more.

I would talk. Never die wondering.

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 3

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 1:06:13 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Why would you want to be with someone you hold things back from? Is there a reason other than his seeming cluelessness about this, that you've not told him already?

He's not a mind reader. If you want him to know yourself and your thoughts, you'll have to be very candid.

The way it sounds is, he's figured out that you're effectively already his ( duh ) but doesn't know that you want some more formal acknowledgements of it, or doesn't want you to have them. Without any better information, I'm voting for the former. Guys can be kind of clueless about the level of acknowledgement that girls need, sometimes. He's not a mind-reader and neither are you, right? So spell it out, for him and get his thoughts on the matter so the two of you aren't guessing at each other's thoughts.

Pay attention to your own thought process too. Why haven't you just been able to come out and ask him about this, preferring to come here to a bunch of total strangers instead? Does this feel safer? What are you afraid of? If he doesn't want to own you, or whatever- if he doesn't want the same kind of relationship or commitment that you need, isn't it better to find this out sooner, than later?

_____________________________

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(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 4

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 1:54:49 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Are you going to meet him?

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 5

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 3:31:29 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietsub13

i have been talking to my Sir for a while and He calls me His girl. At times i want to call Him Master as i truly want to give myself to Him, but He hasn't asked. i ache at the thought of not being able to talk to Him and i dream about belonging to Him. Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

Hi and welcome to the Forums... :-)

What you should do is step back a little for a reality check. Since you haven't said as much, I'm gonna assume you haven't even met him in real life. And believe me, real life is the true measure of how well you relate to someone and whether that feeling is mutual.

At the moment, what you seem to have is an attachment to a romanticised notion of who and what this person is - a most common submissive "rookie mistake". It's all very well if this person is pushing the right D/s buttons within you only for you to discover in real life that he's 20 years older and a hundred pounds heavier than he's presented himself. And then there's the missus blah blah....

Hey, it happens all too often to naive newbies so you start by getting "all your ducks in the right order".... If he's so special to you, step one is to arrange a face to face meet - and be prepared if he's suddenly a bit reluctant, too. Some just like it online....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 6

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 4:40:55 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

tell him

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Focus50)

Post #: 7

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 5:11:02 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If you want to move the relationship to the next step, then why not be open about it. "I really like you. I would prefer we had an exclusive relationship with a certain level of commitment. How do you feel about this, about me? I need to know"

But be prepared to be refused and if he tells you he likes you but you aren't his one, then you need to have decided beforehand what your response will be. Will you be okay being all tied up in knots about him knowing he isn't that into you? Do you need a relationship where he feels the same way?

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 8

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 5:31:10 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

ask

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 9

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 5:32:50 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Have you met him yet?

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 10

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 6:16:42 AM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietsub13

i have been talking to my Sir for a while and He calls me His girl. At times i want to call Him Master as i truly want to give myself to Him, but He hasn't asked. i ache at the thought of not being able to talk to Him and i dream about belonging to Him. Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

There's not much I can add to the excellent responses so far - My favourite being Focus50's.

But a couple of things.. When you say "At times I want to call him Master" - do you mean that you want to address him as such, or that you want to be committed to him (and he to you in some way).

If you mean the former - Speaking only for myself - I prefer not to be addressed as "Master". I don't object to "Sir" but again would never expect or ask a sub to use this form of address; Because (again - speaking only for myself, and with no hint of judgement of other Dom's who like their subs to use these forms of address), I happen to think it's absurd and silly (A Master is a qualified captain of a ship, and a "Sir" can only be created by her majesty the queen ;-) ) - So, and I don't know, there may be a teensy chance that your Dom would prefer not to be addressed in this way.

If you mean the latter - I'd like to gently echo the comments of some other respondents, if you've not actually met the Dom in question then I'd ask you to reflect a little more - I'm not saying that you can't have fully comitted D/s relationships that are online only - but just be careful that it's not just a fantasy on his part before you commit yourself emotionally.

If you have met, then I'd echo those who've said "Just ask" - I think Aileen1968 is totally right when she says..

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

You could always just ask him. Say... "I'd like to call you master. How do you feel about that?"
If you hesitate to ask him questions or just to communicate in general, especially over something as simple as this, then you will have a lot of problems in your relationship.
Talking and asking questions are not "unsubly"

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 11

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 6:18:52 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

A Master should make the decisions. And he should know what his sub wishes. Not that he has any obligation to do it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to crazyml)

Post #: 12

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 7:08:50 AM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

Tell what want to tell him... but only if you can accept the consequences of his answer.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 13

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 7:37:18 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietsub13

i have been talking to my Sir for a while and He calls me His girl. At times i want to call Him Master as i truly want to give myself to Him, but He hasn't asked. i ache at the thought of not being able to talk to Him and i dream about belonging to Him. Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

i hardly ever insist on being called something . so when she does she means it

or so i hope

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 14

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 10:51:03 AM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

You've noticed that people are making assumptions about the nature of your relationship in this thread, that's because you aren't really giving us much to go on. Maybe the posters guesses have been accurate so far but if not you may want to explain a little more about the nature of your relationship and what your looking for in the relationship.

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 15

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 11:33:58 AM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: quietsub13

Should i tell Him how i feel or wait?

No need for chit-chat... just mark your territory by pissing on his leg; he'll get the hint.

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 16

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 2:28:38 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GotSteel

You've noticed that people are making assumptions about the nature of your relationship in this thread, that's because you aren't really giving us much to go on. Maybe the posters guesses have been accurate so far but if not you may want to explain a little more about the nature of your relationship and what your looking for in the relationship.

Wow yeah, it was late last night and I was exhausted and totally missed that she hasn't realtimed with him yet. He could easily be some married (or otherwise committed) dickwad who's just stringing her along. My bad. I still stand by what I said, but I'll add this:

OP, you never really know a person until you've spent a significant amount of time, over time, (ie. over a period of months or years- not just one fabulous weekend, or a week or two) actually in their physical presence.

If I were you, I'd make plans to meet him ASAP. If he can't meet with you fairly quickly, and provide other assurances that he is in fact who he says he is, and is not otherwise involved, I'd take it as a huge red flag. Have you googled him to find out if what he says about himself matches up with what you find? That's not being suspicious, that's just protecting yourself.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 17

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 2:46:48 PM

OriginallyFromLA

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline

quote:

And then there's the missus blah blah....

_____________________________

We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.-Quintas Arius

Love IS pain, Highness. Anyone that says different is selling something.-Dread Pirate Roberts

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 18

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 2:47:36 PM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

Tell him.

How is he supposed to know how you feel and where your mind is at when you don't say a damn thing?

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to quietsub13)

Post #: 19

RE: in need of a Master's opinion - 2/12/2010 9:01:33 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I would talk. Never die wondering.

Wise words these are....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to EbonyWood)

Post #: 20

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