RE: Just ranting? (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 11:11:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

This thread just got creepy, even for this place!

- LA



Are you saying that a sub contacting you offering to be spare parts isn't like the most giving of subs?[:D]



If I said yes, you know my inbox would get flooded with castration fantasy requests...

- LA



I have to admit, that is the only body part I've been offered! lol



LadyAngelika -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 11:15:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

If I said yes, you know my inbox would get flooded with castration fantasy requests...


Well that is not exactly a part you need now, is it?[:D]



Exactly, why would I need a human male cock when I could have a jelly, silicone, glass, wood or steel plated strap-on that never goes flacid?

- LA



AquaticSub -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 11:46:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

But I would like to talk about "it". I would like to talk about it with someone with real experience. But I can't seem to get passed the shields and games and out right hostillity so many women seem to have. Are there no women just willing to be friends and share experiences? I haven't found any that don't already post here. I'll say it right now, I am NOT most people's type. Does that mean I am unworthy of common courtesy? Is everyone so popular that they think everyone else is hitting on them and therefore unfit to talk to?



I don't think I'm particularly popular. But I do know that a vast majority of the dominants e-mailing me claiming me they want to be friends have a habit of asking me very sexual questions very quickly. I don't know if that is what you mean by sharing experiences but I don't particularly care to share my personal experiences with anyone who just happens to message me and ask me questions. Here on the forums, I share what I choose to share and nobody gets pissy if I don't post on a particular thread.

So, in that regard, I am a bit of a cynic. When someone messages me carrying on a casual conversation, I go with the flow as long as I'm interested. But I do stay aware that things could be not what they seem.

Women are willing to talk but, quite frankly, it puts my guard up anyone someone messages me personally because I'm a submissive female. Not because of anything in my profile, not because of something I said in the forums but because I happen to have tits and enjoy kneeling. I don't really buy that talking is why they are sending me the message because if they truly want opinions of submissive females why not put it on the boards? Then you get tons of responses as opposed to randomly picking submissive females to ask personally - and I don't really believe that they are picked randomly.

I recently got a message from someone who, while very polite, expressed in interest in being friends with female subs. I declined as politely as I could while being honest with him that it put me off. If me being female and submissive are the note-worthy things that is drawing someone to me, I don't think we have a lot to talk about.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 11:48:21 AM)

OriginallyFromLA,

There are times when most of us have started up a thread, and it's failed. There is a dergee of snarkyness and judgements that get tossed around on threads. Also, at times people read more into things.

There are people I interact with from CM that don't use the message board system at all. There are people that read the message boards and never post. There is a wide diversity of people with different backgrounds here. Some are into the lifestyle, some are exploring it, some people are just interested in various facets of BDSM. There are elements of BDSM that attract many different people. Including wicked kinky sex.

By and far there are many women on this site, I know that I'm not the man for them. Hands down without a question. In fact there are many women here that I know are not right for me. Finding the right partner is a bit like looking for a needle in the haystack. It's a needle in a haystack in the vanilla world and it's an even a needle here too.

In regards to having converstions with women, I have a couple of friendships with women from this site, that I've maintained for about 3 years now. We talk about anything and everything, including BDSM, kink as well as day to day issues of life itself.

I did not make this friendships overnight either. Sure, it's okay to email somebody on the otherside. if they think this that or another thing, and they think you are hitting on them, or that you ain't being upfront. It's their Problem or issue and not yours. If you are having issue over somebody else having their own issues. I'm afraid this itself is an issue.

Relax, people have issues inside their own mind all the time over crap.

Just do your best to communicate things, and if need be attempt to clear up any misunderstandings you that you can spot. All else fails, ask them what they really think,

I'm certain that some women is more than open to talking to you about things, it might not be anybody on the message board. It might be a reader of the boards, or perhaps somebody from the other side.

In terms of making thread posts, things don't always go well. I've started threads and pulled the plug on them. Opening saying, this has turned into a train wreck. I've started threads not expecting to take heat over it, and yeah it happened. There been threads I started expecting to take heat and it never happened.

I'm sorry you having such a difficult time with things. Just hold your own weight, continue to make posts. Just be yourself.

In terms of finding the same exact connection you had with another girl, it's never the same. There's always something a little different. As you expressed about a women wanting to be choked. Perhaps the next one wants to be bitten, perhaps she wants to be flogged really hard. It's always a little different. I'm trying to express that there are differences.

Good luck...



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:03:00 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ten piping hot pints of type O blood


I have O negative blood, which means I could be harvested by anybody[:D]



Update Hard Limit to include Body Harvesting while still alive. If you think about the Donate your Organs option to drivers licenses these days, you're just consenting to it after your dead.



juliaoceania -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:05:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ten piping hot pints of type O blood


I have O negative blood, which means I could be harvested by anybody[:D]



Update Hard Limit to include Body Harvesting while still alive. If you think about the Donate your Organs option to drivers licenses these days, you're just consenting to it after your dead.


You know I am kidding, right? Just making sure!



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:11:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

It might be that you are leaning against a car in your profile. Subs hate that. I am now in the process of developing the perfect profile. Did you know that I own a helicopter?

You got a car and I have a bad ass domibird?....I win!!!

To all of you subbies....(doing my best Arnold voice)..."Run to the choppah!!!!"


LOL... I've seen a few profiles where the women were bitching about men with pictures of them posed with their cars, trucks and etc.. How they would not respond to any profiles with pictures like this. I just roll my eyes over such petty bullshit. Hell, I myself don't have such pictures of myself. Wait, I sort of do with the ones of me playing guitar. Oh Fark, so much so sharing with somebody part of my vanilla life. In many ways, at the very least they know that the guy actually has a means of transportation when a Dude shows them a picture like this. It's like saying Look, I have a car compared to some Dude without one.

Personally, why the hell would I want to respond to anybody who's this petty about crap? I really don't.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:14:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
You know I am kidding, right? Just making sure!


You have nothing to worry about. :-) Though you are one of my favorite tasty blood types... MauhMawHaaaHAaahhHeeee... Cranking up "Vampires in Love" by the Misfits.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:15:05 PM)

Aww hell OP.  I'll be friends with you.  But, I already post here, so my question is - if all you want are friends to talk about IT with, why do they have to be people not on this side?  Or am I being dense again?  Because I've talked on the phone with people who post here, and listened to their past experiences.  A few of our Resident badasses have been known to keep me on the phone all night sharing all the things they did, and want to do.  Maybe I should give you a couple numbers? 

WinD



juliaoceania -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:26:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
You know I am kidding, right? Just making sure!


You have nothing to worry about. :-) Though you are one of my favorite tasty blood types... MauhMawHaaaHAaahhHeeee... Cranking up "Vampires in Love" by the Misfits.


Yes, I am yummy, without all those nasty bitter antigens floating around in my blood stream



Scheherazade67 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 12:58:27 PM)

The scene you described is hot.

But if you're wanting women to talk first off about their sexual experiences, they may not be willing to do that. Maybe they donj't want to get your rocks off in that context.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 1:12:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Scheherazade67

The scene you described is hot.

But if you're wanting women to talk first off about their sexual experiences, they may not be willing to do that. Maybe they donj't want to get your rocks off in that context.


This is a good point!

There's also the fact, that when getting to know someone, if you begin to wonder if they are too focused on their ex and what they did with their ex that they want to do again.  Well, it can be problematic.



OriginallyFromLA -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 1:16:40 PM)

I got done early.

JuliaOceanna, I sincerely appologize to you for singling you out. And I hope you will accept it. It will never happen again.

My point was that the tone of my message to you was hopefully one that was completely platonic in nature. That is what I have strived for in every contact situation.

Again, the reason I posted that story was that it is pretty extreme and I can't immagine getting a lot of serious replies to "hey does anyone else get off on this" type post without being labled a psycho and have it degrade into the same kind of thing this did.

And Lockit, this whole post is about the fact that I DON'T GET IT. I'm sorry I come off as the whiney teen, it's not what I was going for. What I was going for was the guy that was thrown into a group where it seemed like everone else had a manual to go from, but he didn't get a copy and no-one would share. Maybe that's where I need to be contacting other Doms.

As I said, (if you missed it here it is again)  you guys are the only people that take time to answer. However I am too new here to feel comfortable contacting most of you for advice.

And just to be clear I am always very respectful, After all, I'm new here.

As far as target audiences, Again, I'm new here. I'll get around to everyone eventually.

My problem here is this is a dating site and I need an information site. Is there a good information based site that people can ask the stupid questions?



juliaoceania -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 1:34:40 PM)

quote:

Again, the reason I posted that story was that it is pretty extreme and I can't immagine getting a lot of serious replies to "hey does anyone else get off on this" type post without being labled a psycho and have it degrade into the same kind of thing this did.


I do not see anyone labeling you as a psycho...I went through the first couple of pages to check and see..

What I saw was people giving you feedback about your ideas... you can either accept that feedback as something that benefits you, or discard it...

My personal thoughts on it are this....

quote:

But what I was not prepared for is amount of "virtual" BDSM and all of the self important protocols and games women advertising themselves as submissives have in place to screen out the apparent losers, which I must be one of.


As some have noted.. you seem to be taking how other people approach their search completely personal, which their search isn't about you, it is about them... as it should be... just like your search (or non-search) should be about you...

quote:

But I would like to talk about "it". I would like to talk about it with someone with real experience. But I can't seem to get passed the shields and games and out right hostillity so many women seem to have.

Why are you focusing on what other people are or are not? If you see someone you like, approach them, if they are not to your liking, pass them by.

quote:

Are there no women just willing to be friends and share experiences?

Perhaps there are, and perhaps there are not...  How can we expect anything from strangers? Seek what you like, and avoid what you don't.


quote:

I haven't found any that don't already post here. I'll say it right now, I am NOT most people's type.

Is anyone?

quote:

Does that mean I am unworthy of common courtesy?

We may define that differently

quote:

Is everyone so popular that they think everyone else is hitting on them and therefore unfit to talk to?


For whatever reason you are screened out. Not everyone I have ever approached was interested in me in my life... I do not envy men their role in being the aggressors, but they seem to thrive on it, and not appreciate women making the first moves, so there ya go!


I think you are taking this all way too personal... that is my opinion.



Edited to add.. I have my pet peeves about how other people present themselves too... top disliked phrases that cause me to be turned off

"I hate drama" (makes me think it follows you everywhere if you mention it)
"Tired of game players" (translates into I have played games and got beaten at them)
"I want to find someone what will not lie to me" (translates into baggage  i did not create and do not want to lug around


Just my thoughts



KatyLied -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 1:36:34 PM)

I wish everyone could be respectful,  You never know what is going on and whom exactly you are talking to when you send unsolicited messages to s-types.  When I was owned, my dominant had access to my cm messages.  There was no disclaimer on my profile, because I felt that the protocol of my relationship was none of their business.  My dom was amused at the stupid messages I received from dominants and how they behaved.  Courtesy is always welcome.



AnimusRex -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 2:00:49 PM)

Honestly, OFLA, is there any reason you can't have the discussion you want right here on the boards?



OriginallyFromLA -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 3:03:36 PM)

I've tried. At least I thought I have tried. There seems to be some kind of protocol or speak outside of the every day hi how are you that on the other side if you don't open with it you are ignored or flamed.

Over here you can talk in plain english but this is a very personal issue to me.

I had a lot of trouble relating that story. That was one of the most intmate moments of my life with a woman I will always love. I couldn't believe she got off on it the way she did and I didn't realize it would affect me the way it did. It's why I joined here.

I just wanted to talk to some people that claimed to be experienced subs to get their take on it to see if it was just her or if there were others out there like her. It's all I wanted from this site. It's all I ever wanted from this site.

I consider the topic closed. You guys can run with it if you want but I'm done with it.



juliaoceania -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 3:06:30 PM)

Hopefully you will continue to read and post when you feel comfortable and maybe make some friends from the forum. 



OriginallyFromLA -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 3:37:56 PM)

I forgot. Thanks everyone for your advice. I do appreciate it even though I think I did a terrible job at getting my point across.

I'm not leaving the forum by any means. Just this topic. We're all on different pages, but I do see a lot of constructive criticism in what I read and I am not so stubborn that I can't at least try to make improvements where I see I them needing to be made.



DrkJourney -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 4:29:36 PM)

hmmm...well I guess there is no need me putting in my two cents then if it's over

oh well...good luck to you



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