RE: Just ranting? (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 4:42:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

As I said, (if you missed it here it is again)  you guys are the only people that take time to answer. However I am too new here to feel comfortable contacting most of you for advice.

.....

My problem here is this is a dating site and I need an information site. Is there a good information based site that people can ask the stupid questions?


My advice: Don't be shy about asking the regular posters for advice. I'm sometimes surprised that people choose to ask for my advice or opinion but I'm almost always flattered and willing to help however I can.

I tend to treat the collarme side as a dating site and the collarchat as an information and discussion site. I've learn so very much from being here over the years that I always suggest these message boards to new people.

ETA - Just read the OP is done with the thread. Ahh well.



SlaveSimone -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 6:00:16 PM)

Op, the type of play that you experienced is called breath play, and yes there are plenty of subs who enjoy it. On the other hand however, there are a lot of people that steer clear of it because it can be dangerous and on occasion  deadly. It's up to you to make a risk assessment and go from there. There have been about a million threads on the subject in the past, you can use the search function in the right hand corner to find them.
Every thing said above is true about just about any kinky activity you can think of; there are people that enjoy it, people that wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole because of perceived emotional or physical risk (or just plain disinterest) and there's probably at least one thread in the archives that discusses it.
The key to these forums is to put on your big boy pants and dive in, people are going to be candid, blunt and often times seem rude, but usually do have a point that will be valuable to you. I don't post often but I've learned a lot here, and its often times the posters who are unwilling to sugar coat things that have shaken my perception the most resulting in a lot of positive growth on my part.

Good luck,
Simone



GraciousLady -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 8:42:25 PM)

First of all, stop choking people that way. Your going to cause brain damage or death. Seriously here. If you stop normal blood flow to the brain by restricting the carotids many, many bad things can happen. Learn what your doing before you repeat ANY breath play. (My opinion is this was a fantasy he is passing off but just in case it's real I had to say that. I mean, it reads like he read it off a porn site.)

Second, you want to talk about sex and fantasy with women. Women don't like that. That's what men like. The only women who "like" that are in porn. See, I'm back to what I said earlier. What real people do and what is in porn is very different.


quote:

ORIGINAL: OriginallyFromLA

You know, I came here because I had a taste of the lifestyle and I liked it. But that's a pretty vague statement so I want to give you a taste of detail.

What I loved was the complete Trust this woman had vested in me to NOT kill her as I stared into her eyes, with my hands around her throat, choking her just to the point of unconciousness as I continued to thrust slowly and powerfully into her untill we both climaxed. Seeing her gaze teetering back and forth between concious and unconcious as I tightened or relaxed my grip accordingly. Then the way she would clutch me afterwards like she was holding onto a precapice high above a rocky shore line and afraid to fall.

And then her wanting me to do it all again. Fucking Ay!


I've been learning a lot on this site, and I'm trying to take it slow so I can overcome the stereo types I have been taught to expect to go along with the letters BDSM.

But what I was not prepared for is amount of "virtual" BDSM and all of the self important protocols and games women advertising themselves as submissives have in place to screen out the apparent losers, which I must be one of.

We didn't just start out with that scene I described, we got there slowly over time. I personally don't think this is the proper venue to be talking about the most intimate details of my sex life and I have been very reluctant to talk about it in this kind of detail.

But I would like to talk about "it". I would like to talk about it with someone with real experience. But I can't seem to get passed the shields and games and out right hostillity so many women seem to have. Are there no women just willing to be friends and share experiences? I haven't found any that don't already post here. I'll say it right now, I am NOT most people's type. Does that mean I am unworthy of common courtesy? Is everyone so popular that they think everyone else is hitting on them and therefore unfit to talk to?





sexyred1 -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 9:15:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Maybe it's because we women get sick to the back teeth of total strangers talking to us and expecting us to give them the gory details of our sex lives?

I wouldn't do it with a stranger I was chatting to in a pub, I won't do it with a stranger I'm chatting to online.


ETA: I'm with Juliaoceania on the breath-play thing. All I can suggest is if you domly ones want to try something potentially perilous on your sub, maybe you try it on yourself first? [8|]




I agree. I broke up with someone because of the choking issue. I know some are into it and I am not and never will be. Choking on cock is far better and won't kill you.



AquaticSub -> RE: Just ranting? (2/13/2010 9:17:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GraciousLady

First of all, stop choking people that way. Your going to cause brain damage or death. Seriously here. If you stop normal blood flow to the brain by restricting the carotids many, many bad things can happen. Learn what your doing before you repeat ANY breath play. (My opinion is this was a fantasy he is passing off but just in case it's real I had to say that. I mean, it reads like he read it off a porn site.)

Second, you want to talk about sex and fantasy with women. Women don't like that. That's what men like. The only women who "like" that are in porn. See, I'm back to what I said earlier. What real people do and what is in porn is very different.



While I think the OP needs to work on his approach and wording, my brief and private interaction with him was extremely polite and respectful so I don't think this all something he's entirely made up. Perhaps emblished and jazzed up in the retelling but not completely made up.

Time will tell though. [:)]



DesFIP -> RE: Just ranting? (2/14/2010 5:03:36 AM)

I think he was lucky with the choking. He could easily have had a dead body on his hands.
OP this is the information site you are looking for. People aren't allowed to use the boards as personal ads to date.
That's what your profile is for.

Now what exactly did you want to ask? Do you want to repeat breath play with someone or do you want that level of trust? Because there are all kinds of safer activities that also require a level of trust. Think of someone bound, totally helpless, trusting you not to go too far, not to break her limits but knowing you have total control and can play her body like it was a piano and you the concert pianist.

To get that level of trust, you either have to be well known in your local community for great technical skills or you have to be a person of enormous integrity that someone will turn over control of her life to you.

If the only thing you ever want to do again is breathplay, I urge you to research it. Erotic asphyxiation frequently ends in death.



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