Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
[Poll]

Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not?


Yes it is Wrong
  26% (13)
No it is Right
  74% (37)
Only if your a dominant doing the background check.
  0% (0)
Only if your a submissive doing the background check
  0% (0)


Total Votes : 50
(last vote on : 3/11/2012 9:23:56 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:07:31 AM   
MissSarahTS


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		Well just got told by a ex-potential dominant couple that i should stay home if i'm scared to leave state and move in with complete strangers. Sadly i've done this before and IT SUCKS!!! Thank god for the new website beenverified.com. Now is it unsubby for a submissive to ask a potential dominant for basic information that one would get when your planning on moving in with to perform a background check on them. I personally think that its not that i'm just being "HUMAN" and trying to keep all my bases covered. Curious as to what the public has to say to this.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:09:58 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Is this an ad for that site? Seriously..

If you have to do a background check before you move in with anyone, I have to wonder how good your intuition and instincts are...

And how fast you jump into things


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 2/13/2010 11:10:21 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MissSarahTS)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:13:17 AM   
MissSarahTS


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		No its not an ad but i do love technology and all the goodies it brings with it and also who in there life hasn't made an intuition mistake. Though i should be a spokesperson for them. i'd make a damn good spokesperson.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:15:14 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have actually done background checks after my instinct clued in or red flags with a couple and am now seriously thinking of doing them more often after the things I found out about a couple. Why guess, when I can know? lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:16:19 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I have made mistakes, but none that a background check could have helped me avoid...  In other words I have never moved in with someone who had an unknown criminal past, or did not tell me how many times they were married, etc... but then again, I have only lived with 3 men in my entire 41 yrs... I am careful about who I get that serious with. I meet their friends and family. I know their coworkers, etc.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MissSarahTS)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:17:15 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		If you did a background check on Me, you might find out that I hope to, one day, harvest your vital organs.

That would be a drag and could potentially ruin a beautiful relationship.

I am not in favor of background checks.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to MissSarahTS)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:17:29 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		I just take my time and follow my instinct.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:19:49 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Does feel like an ad since you mentioned a specific website.

However, on the topic of the OP, I don't know if there is a definate right or wrong ruling that could be universally applied. I know that, personally, I would be somewhat to very irked if someone did a background check on me without me knowing.

I've got nothing to hide but doing so would mean that they don't trust me. That means that I either need to re-examine how I'm interacting with people that would cause them to think there is something in my past they need to check out or I need to re-examine if I want to be with them.

Obviously there are situations that would be exceptions and it would most likely change things a lot if I was told ahead of time that they wanted to run one on me simply as their SoP in regards to safety.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:20:28 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Is it just me, or does anyone else find it assinine to move in with someone you haven't met, background check or not?
Background checks might tell you if the person has been arrested, but it does not tell you what sort of person they are.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:21:55 AM   
MissSarahTS


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have made mistakes, but none that a background check could have helped me avoid...  In other words I have never moved in with someone who had an unknown criminal past, or did not tell me how many times they were married, etc... but then again, I have only lived with 3 men in my entire 41 yrs... I am careful about who I get that serious with. I meet their friends and family. I know their coworkers, etc.



That is a background check though...its the old fashion way of doing it XD. Sadly i'm part of the Now Generation where everything even peoples pasts must be accessible now. Not through years of talking and hunting down all there contacts.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:22:00 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it assinine to move in with someone you haven't met, background check or not?
Background checks might tell you if the person has been arrested, but it does not tell you what sort of person they are.


Wasn't touching that one.

Background checks really only tell you what a person got caught doing.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:22:16 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it assinine to move in with someone you haven't met, background check or not?


It is not just you


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:23:22 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it assinine to move in with someone you haven't met, background check or not?
Background checks might tell you if the person has been arrested, but it does not tell you what sort of person they are.


Wasn't touching that one.

Background checks really only tell you what a person got caught doing.


Quoted for truth, which is why I repeat, take your time and use your instincts.

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:29:42 AM   
MissSarahTS


Posts: 26
Joined: 11/7/2008
Status: offline 		Missokyst I understand where your coming from and the last dominant couple i moved in with i spent half a year talking to them. And i'm nice i tell people first that i'm doing a background check on them. Depending on the reaction i get tells me alot about them. If they freak out that means they got something to hide. If they don't freak out that means they can be partially trusted. Instincts first and foremost but technology help out alot. Also i'm not as strict as a job, i'll let you pass if i see petty crimes on the background check. It also helps me to find the married men from the unmarried men.. Alot of jobs now requires a background check so why not one for those searching for a dominant or submissive.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:29:49 AM   
Domin8tingUrDrmz


Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline 		If someone wants to spend money to verify that I have no criminal record, I don't care. They are out however much money it cost. However, if they need my SSN or DL# to perform that background check, they are SOL. I have no intention of providing information that could inevitably be used to steal my identity - at least not until I've known them long enough to trust them. Funny that, huh. Then again, I also won't let someone move in with me until I've known them long enough to trust they won't be a leech, steal my stuff, or just plain ol' piss me off all the damn time.

_____________________________

4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions.

Ask a Mistress Forum FAQ
Profile Help

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:30:21 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I agree.

Just seems weird to me to need it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:31:00 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSarahTS

That is a background check though...its the old fashion way of doing it XD. Sadly i'm part of the Now Generation where everything even peoples pasts must be accessible now. Not through years of talking and hunting down all there contacts.



Are you conducting job interviews or looking for a relationship? The " NOW" generation want to know about my past?


lol

Silly post

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to MissSarahTS)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:33:57 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSarahTS

That is a background check though...its the old fashion way of doing it XD. Sadly i'm part of the Now Generation where everything even peoples pasts must be accessible now. Not through years of talking and hunting down all there contacts.



Are you conducting job interviews or looking for a relationship? The " NOW" generation want to know about my past?


lol

Silly post

Jeff


The NOW generation? I thought it was the Y (why???) generation.

It's hard for old dudes like you to grasp, huh Fejjjjj...

Btw, can you scan and email me your organ doner card please. I need to check something... of Fax it if that is more your generation's technology ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:35:22 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I can email you the file. the NOW generation wouldn't have it any other way.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? - 2/13/2010 11:36:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissSarahTS

Missokyst I understand where your coming from and the last dominant couple i moved in with i spent half a year talking to them. And i'm nice i tell people first that i'm doing a background check on them. Depending on the reaction i get tells me alot about them. If they freak out that means they got something to hide. If they don't freak out that means they can be partially trusted. Instincts first and foremost but technology help out alot. Also i'm not as strict as a job, i'll let you pass if i see petty crimes on the background check. It also helps me to find the married men from the unmarried men.. Alot of jobs now requires a background check so why not one for those searching for a dominant or submissive.


I think that what many of us are saying is that, IF we felt the need for a background check, we wouldn't be moving in with the person.

If that was the case, I would to get to know them for a considerable time while they lived nearby, supporting themself, living on their own. How they conducted themself when we were spending time together, without being a resident of my house, would determine whether or not theye would ever be a part of my house.




_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MissSarahTS)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Background checks on Potentials? Wrong or not? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094