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How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 11:39:28 AM   
estilore


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		What do you do when you feel like you are not wanted anymore by Your Master...and every conversation You try having with Him he is always too busy to handle... when before he would? though i ask him this he says it is not true and that he is just buys with RT life ( Which i understand completely) But to me His actions speak louder then his words. am i right to think this way or am i totally off base?
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 11:46:57 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		How long has this been going on? 

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(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 11:49:40 AM   
estilore


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		For about 3 months now...i may have talked with him a total of 3 hours in that time

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 11:56:39 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: estilore

For about 3 months now...i may have talked with him a total of 3 hours in that time


Move along there dear and buy some self respect. Nodifferent than vanilla. HEs just not into you. go get yourself something more.

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 12:01:36 PM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline 		Let's examine the facts.....

1) You're in CA & he's in KS
 
2) He has a slew of female friends but I don't see you in the mix
 
3) He makes NO mention of you in his profile.

I say move forward & don't look back!

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Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 12:01:43 PM   
Lorenzo19


Posts: 237
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline 		You are right about one thing: He is not giving you as much attention.

As to why. You have to assume Master is telling you the truth until you discover otherwise. HE is busy with real life.

What to do: I suggest you ask him if he would set aside time for the purpose of giveing you attention. And you suggest the activity. If he cant do that. You should ask again when He is not so busy. At least He knows you are not ignoring Him.

You didnt say if you are part of a poly relationship.

< Message edited by Lorenzo19 -- 2/15/2010 12:03:57 PM >

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 12:19:40 PM   
markbugger


Posts: 13
Joined: 1/26/2005
Status: offline 		estilore,

I must agree with VirginPotty, your "Master" has too much on his plate to have any time for you.  If you are satisfified with that, stick with it, but otherwise it is up to you to fight for what you need.  Let him know you need more attention and you will either get it from him or from someone else.

Cheers,

Mark

(in reply to Lorenzo19)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 12:35:53 PM   
estilore


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/22/2009
Status: offline 		Lorenzo, i have been asking for time to talk. I guess eveyone else is right i should move on...but it is a hard thing to do.

(in reply to markbugger)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 12:41:27 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: estilore

For about 3 months now...i may have talked with him a total of 3 hours in that time


Ummm. . . no holiday visit?  Granted there was that whole "Christmas Blizzard" thing. . . but still. . .

Seriously, judging from his profile and journal, he has made you an option.  This has been said before, "Don't make someone a priority that has made you an option." 

Although. . . I am only about an hour and half from the town he lives in, so if you decide to visit him, and it does not work out, I am sure that there are some fun things that we can find for you to do for the rest of the visit. 

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(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 1:22:41 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		What everyone else said, OP. He's done with you. Do what you need to do to develop good self-esteem, so that you won't allow yourself to be treated like this in the future. Don't waste time crying over someone who doesn't place you as a high priority in their life.

Insist on a reciprocal relationship. One in which you get as much as you give.



I was a lot like you once. It sucked. You've got to use whatever little self-esteen you have, to develop more ASAP. Or you'll let yourself be trod upon again and again, until there's nothing much left of you. Just a pile of sadness, pain and regrets. Don't wait for that to happen, and if this is already how you feel, get some professional help. Don't wait. Begin now, before its too late. Good luck! If you start now, and turn to friends and family whom you know you can trust, you'll do fine.

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 2:35:30 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		There are ways to find time to contact you. No matter how busy someone is you can't tell me that they do not have 2 min to jot an email, make a call, text, etc. If only to tell you that they are busy and will contact you soon. Being busy doesn't make your hands fall off so that you are unable to push buttons on a keyboard or phone or take away your voice. You've been very patient waiting for a month for him to become less busy and if he can't tell you anything specific as to why he's busy...just that he's busy...he just doesn't want to play any more and it's difficult for him to end it. Or he's seeing if the new thing is panning out first before letting you go. In my experience, I've rarely had a guy be up front to break things off with me...they just disappear.

So his non-response IS a response. He's telling you he doesn't want to engage with you or spend time with you anymore. A man will pursue something that he wants, if he doesn't make time for it anymore then he's not wanting it anymore. I'm sorry and I've been on the receiving end of this before and it sucks. All you can do is pick yourself up and move on. The good thing is that you are in the minority here on CM, female s types are in demand. There are a lot of men out there that would and will appreciate having you in their life. Take time to grieve, try to figure out what happened so if at all possible you can avoid being hurt again and then get out there and take an active role in looking around.

I'm sorry for his spinelessness...not very Masterly is it? If he were all he billed himself to be by calling himself a Master he'd own up to things and see that its not in your best interest to be strung along and tell you what was up here. Be grateful that you saw his true colors and left the situation before it went any longer.

(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 2:36:18 PM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

he's in KS
 



Frontenac, even. If you people think bdsm is abnormal....

(in reply to VirginPotty)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 2:42:50 PM   
OriginallyFromLA


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline 		Just because He in the "Master" doesn't mean he is off the hook for taking care of your needs. He only has the power you give him. Time to find someone more worthy. Consider it your contribution to his education.

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 3:08:47 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		3 hrs in 3 months?........ He might be the greatest thing since sliced bread , but that's a serious lack of contact. If there 's that little contact , what HAVE you got?

agirl

(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 3:35:55 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline 		Sounds like he is busy with RL--which probably includes a wife or girlfriend. Move on.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 4:21:58 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		your profile says you are owned, and here for him. His says he is actively seeking submissive women. I'd say it's pretty clear.  I'm sorry, but if a man I were seeing, vanilla or otherwise couldn't spare me 3 hours in a week, unless he was out of the country I'd be moving on. I wanted someone to be actively in my life, not passing through when convenient which is what this situation sounds like, and it's no longer convenient.  

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(in reply to estilore)
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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 5:15:38 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		It sounds like he is busy with real life, maybe you should do the same.

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This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 5:26:18 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: estilore

Lorenzo, i have been asking for time to talk. I guess eveyone else is right i should move on...but it is a hard thing to do.


Why is it so hard to move on??? 3 hours in 3 months...(it's called a fantasy darling)  it's seems your relationship with him is mostly in your head, because emotionally, physically, and even communication wise it doesn't seem to exist. I think you really need to step back and gain some insight into who you are! Then, possibly you would draw someone that would actually appreciate you and meet some of the thoughts that exist solely in your head. Good luck.



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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 5:27:19 PM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

Sounds like he is busy with RL--which probably includes a wife or girlfriend. Move on.


I think you hit the nail on the head!


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I keep My expectations and thread counts high- "catitude"

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RE: How does a girl handle this situation? - 2/15/2010 5:35:20 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Seems to be a theme developing in the replies about your rasta boy's area of interest . . . and it isn't in you.
Almost seems we could take a lesson from this and make a 'rule of thumb' about a man who spends more money on his hair than a you do.

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I give good thread.

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