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To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 5:43:45 AM

firmlove

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Is it a scam? Is it just to show that the sub/slave is not a game player? I have mixed emotions as to what to do? Little help please.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 5:47:41 AM

mnottertail

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depends on the situation, and you don't have enough background for anyone to make a valid posit.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 5:58:36 AM

firmlove

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Yeah, I forget about the message board sometimes. I need to hang out here more Ron.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 6:19:48 AM

LadyPact

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At the very bottom left of the page you can find the search option. Type in the word "tribute". You will find literally hundreds of threads on the subject.

Also, I would like to draw your attention to the sentence in big red letters that is on the top of the page when sending email to any member on CM. It reads, "Do not send money to other users for any reason".

With those two things said, I'm also agreeing with Ron here. You weren't very specific about your inquiry. Are you asking about tribute within a D/s dynamic? Someone who is requesting tribute in order for you to meet with her? Tribute as compensation as a pro dominant? Are you asking about the validity of financial domination? Are you even talking about a financial transaction at all or might you be talking about a tribute such as a time investment on your part? My personal answer isn't the same for the number of possibilities that can be associated with the word tribute.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 6:48:08 AM

GraciousLady

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There is no reason to pay tribute to anyone if they have done nothing to inspire you to pay tribute. Paying tribute to someone you talk to over the internet is likely about that person making money. As a Dominant I expect my subs to pay tribute to me daily in the form of their respect and submission. Of course, if you have hired a pro then they are entitled to be compensated for their time and work. It's all a matter pf perspective. However, I would be careful of people asking for any tribute up front.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 6:54:08 AM

DarkSteven

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If you have an ongoing relationship with someone, it's an option. If you don't, tell 'em to go pound sand.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 7:22:09 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: firmlove

Is it a scam? Is it just to show that the sub/slave is not a game player? I have mixed emotions as to what to do? Little help please.

Depends on the situation. Sometimes it's a total scam, sometimes it's a serious part of a real interaction. It's why you have to decide what is okay for you and to keep common sense in play during talking to dominants. Use your head and only give things you can afford/feel good about giving, then you'll do okay.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 8:58:04 AM

Luckbunny

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Well...if it's over the internet, no, don't pay tribute. They've done nothing for you. If they're a Domme IRL you are seeing and it's going to be/has been an ongoing thing, either professional sessions or a relationship, then tribute if it's required (AKA Pay the professional) or if you want to contribute to your Mistress.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 9:40:49 AM

BoiJen

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More and more ProDommes are asking for a deposit in tribute because of guys canceling or just not showing up. I can't say I blame them especially in cases of shared dungeon space with other ProDommes. In fact, Ma'am has had to start requiring a non-refundable deposit to be applied to the cost of the session because of the dungeon rental fee for using a shared space. She simply can't afford to shell out $50 every time some shmuck decides he really "ready" to go through with a session.

Each ProDomme puts tons of time and often money into Her business. You don't go to a body shop, and expect them to order a specialized part and then not expect to pay a deposit. It's no different for a ProDomme. If you're really curious about a Pro, try getting DDI. The publisher takes a good deal of feedback from Pros that advertise with him and individuals who cruise the ads. If a certain advertiser starts getting some consistently rough feedback, he'll pull the ad from the next issue because that does end up hurting his credibility with the individuals who make him the most money: the readers. You can count on those Women being pretty reputable and, as long as you're seriously looking for a session, you shouldn't have a problem paying for it.

Personally speaking, I pay tribute every day with a foot rub when She gets home. She got Her "dream ring" for x-mas and a nice new pair of boots for v-day. I LIKE to give Her things and find no problem doing the work to afford them. My next goal in tribute: a house! lol

boi

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 10:00:26 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I LIKE to give Her things and find no problem doing the work to afford them.

Yeah. Beyond that, isn't it kinda a people-you-like thing, not just a babe-you-wanna-court thing? I hung out with a friend a couple days ago. She has two kids, and was downsized last week. I paid for what we did together. I'm probably never getting any nookie out of it. Maybe that means I should drop her like a hot rock.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 10:04:56 AM

BoiJen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
I LIKE to give Her things and find no problem doing the work to afford them.

Yeah. Beyond that, isn't it kinda a people-you-like thing, not just a babe-you-wanna-court thing? I hung out with a friend a couple days ago. She has two kids, and was downsized last week. I paid for what we did together. I'm probably never getting any nookie out of it. Maybe that means I should drop her like a hot rock.

YES!

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 10:20:22 AM

thishereboi

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It depends. Are you talking about tributes such as gifts that you give to the women you are in a relationship with? (which by the way, most vanilla men do, they just don't use the word tribute.)

or are you talking about the women/hng that you will never meet, but is willing to let you wank over her emails if you send her some cash?

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 12:21:27 PM

stella41b

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Okay. Let's say you meet a guy and you invite him out for a few beers. How would it be if it ended up that you're buying all the beers? Fair? It's also not fair for him to be buying all the time, right? You you either buy 'rounds', your turn, his turn, or you buy your own, right?

This explains some of the tributes. Some of the guys want to meet the domme, who's got to of course supply the venue, the equipment, and of course wear certain clothes. This takes a bit of time, effort, and needless to say, money.

Now quite a number of male subs turn up, ready to submit, so they play, get on with what they're doing (that's if they turn up in the first place) and then when the scene's over they leave. This leaves said domme with the cleaning up to do, putting the equipment away, and also changing out of that certain clothing she wore.

Seems a bit one-sided, right? So she gets wise after a few of these meetings and she starts asking for a tribute. It could be anything, stockings, a book, chocolate, a bit of money, but some token of appreciation for all the effort she's gone to to put everything together (and it's not that easy from the domme side of things). Would you call this a scam?

Yes there are some others who want a financial contribution, to help pay a bill, the rent, also on a quid pro quo basis, and these I would suggest are akin to pro-dommes. It's nothing more than a nice little sideline, but very much on the basis of what is above - appreciation for her time and effort. Again, would you call this a scam?

Some guys would, but that's because they think BDSM is about sex, and even if she's not handing out the condoms when he arrives they still think she's a prostitute and scamming them. It's this notion that BDSM=sex. For some yes, but not necessarily so.

No need to go into pro-dommes, let them speak for themselves.

And then you get the dommes which very clearly aren't dommes, but vanilla women out for whatever they can get, whether it be top ups on their cellphone, additional cash, sexual gratification, free domestic cleaning, or whatever else. They call it BDSM but it isn't, it's exploitation and the rule of the game is simple - get as much as you can out of whoever without giving anything back in return.

The problem is is that there's a lot of guys out there also playing the exploitation game and so there's a grey area where some aren't sure and a darker area where everyone, male subs, dommes, and everyone else loses.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 12:40:07 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

More and more ProDommes are asking for a deposit in tribute because of guys canceling or just not showing up. I can't say I blame them especially in cases of shared dungeon space with other ProDommes. In fact, Ma'am has had to start requiring a non-refundable deposit to be applied to the cost of the session because of the dungeon rental fee for using a shared space. She simply can't afford to shell out $50 every time some shmuck decides he really "ready" to go through with a session.

Jen,

That seems only fair to me, what with all these car crashes happening to clients on their way to pro-domme sessions. (Maybe they should upgrade their car insurances? A question for another thread, perhaps.

)

As far as you know, though, do pro-dommes usually refer to these as 'deposits', or do they call them 'tributes'?

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 1:16:23 PM

BoiJen

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Yes Peon, most ProDommes will call the "deposit" just that. I can't imagine that it's refundable tough. Ma'am offers to hold the deposit to be applied within two weeks of the original session date, should the client give at least 24 hrs notice of needing to reschedule. I, personally, think She runs a fair business in terms of dealing with Her clients.

Now, if a client offered to fax over the beneficiary documents from their car insurance policies as a promise to attend the session, I'm sure She'd agree to that (so long as they made the appropriate deposit as well).

boi

Who had a funny incident the other day when a person attempted to petition Ma'am for personal "service", got a response about session costs and then wanted to claim that Ma'am's profile here is a bait and switch tactic. He didn't bother to respond when it was pointed out that Ma'am's profile states clearly that She is not currently interested in seeking personal arrangements. Funny that, huh? Oh or about the guy who called Her phone from an ad in Dominatrix Directory International (a ProDomme only advertising magazine) that had to be like 10 years old and asked Her if She was looking for anything personal...Her response..."You do understand that ALL the women in the magazine you're reading are advertising professional services, right? I mean, I can't imagine you're that retarded." Heh, he got Her to say "retarded".

I got stories about stupid people for days. I sometimes like to hurt their feelings for being that cheap and that dumb.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 1:19:35 PM

BoiJen

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OH! Or when all of Ma'am's current information says She's now located in Ft. Lauderdale and some old clients call Her out of the blue asking if they can have a session cuz they'll be in Detroit next weekend. That cracks me up when they don't understand why She won't bother to call them back.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 1:34:07 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen

Yes Peon, most ProDommes will call the "deposit" just that. I can't imagine that it's refundable tough. Ma'am offers to hold the deposit to be applied within two weeks of the original session date, should the client give at least 24 hrs notice of needing to reschedule. I, personally, think She runs a fair business in terms of dealing with Her clients.

Thank god they don't invoke that term 'tribute'. It must be just about the most contentious word in the entire world of BDSM. Aside from the practicalities - the costs of setting up scenes - there are psychological considerations, too, that I'd imagine are important. Call a deposit a 'deposit', and I'd think a client is, hopefully, that bit more aware that he's engaged in a business relationship with the pro-domme in question.

quote:

I got stories about stupid people for days. I sometimes like to hurt their feelings for being that cheap and that dumb.

That blasted psychotic, I'd call it. There's a well-known saying amongst psychotherapists: 'neurotics build castles in the sky; psychotics live in them'. Women are just ordinary humans, so they can get hurt. But Goddesses and Superior Beings can't.

Sometimes I loathe this stuff.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 1:41:10 PM

BoiJen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Thank god they don't invoke that term 'tribute'. It must be just about the most contentious word in the entire world of BDSM. Aside from the practicalities - the costs of setting up scenes - there are psychological considerations, too, that I'd imagine are important. Call a deposit a 'deposit', and I'd think a client is, hopefully, that bit more aware that he's engaged in a business relationship with the pro-domme in question.

That blasted psychotic, I'd call it. There's a well-known saying amongst psychotherapists: 'neurotics build castles in the sky; psychotics live in them'. Women are just ordinary humans, so they can get hurt. But Goddesses and Superior Beings can't.

Sometimes I loathe this stuff.

Yeah...I wish. The last one thought that dragging on about his fantasies for a half hr was him "sharing and commiserating" with Her. Like there was something in it for Her. Then he canceled (rather didn't pay his deposit in the specified time frame...not at all actually) and didn't see how that was a waste of Her time and tried to say She wasted his time....like he didn't really understand that getting him on the phone and agreeing to a session and a deposit wasn't part of the business transaction.

I'm nuts. I know this...I have a tad bit of a bent toward tearing down individuals I dislike to their core and leaving them bent and broken. But, to even it out, I'll do almost anything for people I do like.

boi

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 2:27:34 PM

PeonForHer

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Not entirely pertinent to the subject-matter at hand, I realise, but now I come to think of it: you do look a bit like Angelina Jolie, you know.

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RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? - 2/17/2010 2:29:20 PM

mnottertail

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Damn, I was gonna say Tom Waits.

LOL, you love me bj, you know you do, I am fuckin hilarious, you cant help yourself.

Ron(ne)

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