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theGuideGoddess -> RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? (2/18/2010 1:57:07 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stella41b
Okay. Let's say you meet a guy and you invite him out for a few beers. How would it be if it ended up that you're buying all the beers? Fair? It's also not fair for him to be buying all the time, right? You you either buy 'rounds', your turn, his turn, or you buy your own, right?
This explains some of the tributes. Some of the guys want to meet the domme, who's got to of course supply the venue, the equipment, and of course wear certain clothes. This takes a bit of time, effort, and needless to say, money.
Now quite a number of male subs turn up, ready to submit, so they play, get on with what they're doing (that's if they turn up in the first place) and then when the scene's over they leave. This leaves said domme with the cleaning up to do, putting the equipment away, and also changing out of that certain clothing she wore.
Seems a bit one-sided, right? So she gets wise after a few of these meetings and she starts asking for a tribute. It could be anything, stockings, a book, chocolate, a bit of money, but some token of appreciation for all the effort she's gone to to put everything together (and it's not that easy from the domme side of things). Would you call this a scam?
Yes there are some others who want a financial contribution, to help pay a bill, the rent, also on a quid pro quo basis, and these I would suggest are akin to pro-dommes. It's nothing more than a nice little sideline, but very much on the basis of what is above - appreciation for her time and effort. Again, would you call this a scam?
Some guys would, but that's because they think BDSM is about sex, and even if she's not handing out the condoms when he arrives they still think she's a prostitute and scamming them. It's this notion that BDSM=sex. For some yes, but not necessarily so.
No need to go into pro-dommes, let them speak for themselves.
And then you get the dommes which very clearly aren't dommes, but vanilla women out for whatever they can get, whether it be top ups on their cellphone, additional cash, sexual gratification, free domestic cleaning, or whatever else. They call it BDSM but it isn't, it's exploitation and the rule of the game is simple - get as much as you can out of whoever without giving anything back in return.
The problem is is that there's a lot of guys out there also playing the exploitation game and so there's a grey area where some aren't sure and a darker area where everyone, male subs, dommes, and everyone else loses.
Well put and probably considerations that a potential may not have mulled in their little heads. I've chatted with a few time suckers and when asked what is in this for me never could get a response. In order for any relationship to work there has to be something in it for everyone or it will fail. Often before it ever begins.
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