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AAkasha -> RE: To Tribute or not to Tribute tis the question? (2/24/2010 8:32:33 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Andalusite
The only way in which I'd want someone to "pay tribute" to me is in the sense of saying nice things about me. I *do* like getting little gifts, or the man treating me on a date. There are plenty of free or very inexpensive things to do that are still charming and lovely. Kevin, I'd strongly suggest that *you* not date anybody, until you work through your own issues, but for any other men who are reading, here are some suggestions.
Lots of museums are free, or have one free day per month. Art galleries that are geared more toward sales can still be very interesting to browse through. Free concerts, Shakespeare/other theatre productions, poetry readings, book readings, and so forth can make lovely dates. Tours of local candy factories, or factories which make anything else you and your date are interested in can be a lot of fun, and they often have free samples. Parks, the beach, botanical gardens, and the like are often free, or perhaps charge only a bit for parking. Taking her out for coffee/tea and bringing a single rose, or a little bouquet of wildflowers, and a single chocolate truffle costs less than $5. Hand-writing a note to her expressing how you feel is something she's likely to treasure (of course, that wouldn't be as appropriate on a *first* date, but rather once you've come to know her).
Yep! And all these things require work. Thinking. Figuring it out. Being resourceful. A sub can get around "having no money," but he can't get around "being a lazy, demanding bore." Women are not going to line up to date you if you are lazy.
There are plenty of men that are courted, pursued and essentially supported by hot women - especially hot, older women - who have money to spend and don't care about the financial status of the guy. But the man has to bring something to the table. He has to be fun to be around, he has to be helpful and attentive, he has to be great eye candy, he has to be someone the lady's girlfriends will envy. I am talking now, of course, of the most superficial types of relationships as a start - but be honest, the start of dating is courting and fun. No lady is going to "fall in love" and become endeared to a penniless man with no career path and no financial stability just because she met him online. A lady may, however, enjoy the time spent with a freewheeling, frolicking young cutie pie with a great personality and ability to make her laugh - and if she falls in love, the money doesn't matter anymore.
What does it all mean?It means you may not have money, but you have to be willing to invest the other thing: Time. Work on yourself. If you can't afford a gym, then exercise at the park or do pushups next to your bed. You need to have a rocking body. Social skills - if you are a total wallflower and don't know how to talk to women at all, take your unemployed booty to the library and read some books on flirting, practice at the local coffee shop, do whatever it takes. Style - if you only own old clothes that look disgusting, at least get down to the thrift store, pick up some threads that look retro and find a style you can pull off by looking like a cute but messy street urchin.
Be willing to *do whatever it takes* to stand out and be adorable and pleasant. Once you get your foot in the door, be prepared to be impossible to not adore. Be a class gentleman, act and behave as if you are rich despite being poor, make her laugh, make her feel special. I mean seriously, guys figure out how to court and attract women who are "out of their league" all the time - a nice smile, saying the right things and being a jewel of a guy will get you far with a woman. But women in the financial position to date men who don't have a penny to their name or a career are looking for men who are dynamite in other ways: By appearance, by body, in the sack or socially. If you have no money and NONE of these attributes yet still think a woman should invest in YOU when you have not invested in YOURSELF, what do you really think your chances are?
It doesn't cost anything to get a personality. Try it.
Akasha
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