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alicenwondrland -> RE: A legend returns ... (2/19/2010 3:43:12 PM)
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OK I am not reading all this but, I'd like to just be clear on this:
quote:
..until you stated that I had made a "mean first post." A statement that confused and amused me for assorted reasons I don't need to go into now.
Honestly? what the heck are you talking about? I am glad something that doesn't make sense amuses you; it just annoys me. Different personalities.
Talking about this:
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3072233
Confusing, because it was not my first post or the first post in the thread. Amusing, because of the suggestion that the ordinal position of one's post in the thread has a qualitative effect on its meanness. Mine was not just a mean post. It was a mean first post.
# 1. I don't really know you or certainly who you were then: I simply said something in passing because it was indeed, a mean first post. This has NOTHING to do with this thread, or me.
#2. The fact that you don't understand that "the ordinal position of one's post" DOES have AN effect on its measure- speaks to a lack of social common sense, or even empathy.
Of course it does-because when a person or OP asks a question of a forum/any group of people, and the first reply they get, is a rude or unwelcoming one- this is alot more offsetting and hurtful than receiving one at the end of the thread that the OP doesn't have to look at, or can place in context of alot of other responses. In THAT case, if I was that OP I'd think to myself "well I only got one mean post out of 10". "But if the first response was nasty, I'd think "wow. The rest will be that bad?". If it took such a short time for someone to be rude to you, it would seem that there will be alot more rudeness. This thinking requires an understanding of people, and manners. Also, the first post will tend to set the stage for the following posts.
This does in fact surprise me that you don't comprehend this. You're using words like "ordinal" "measure" and "qualitativeness" as if they are somehow the main issues- in a FORUM OF PEOPLE WRITING. This is not a lab or a mathematician's desk. Seriously. I don't mean to harp but feel this is a reflection of a lack of social skill or social sense, that my point about the rudeness of saying something first has to be EXPLAINED to you- that you don't grasp it immediately and organically.
I've never met anyone in real life having trouble understanding little points like this, and criticizing others out of their OWN LACK of comprehension for socially OBVIOUS points. I am not speaking of you here, lucienne, I am referring more to what seems to be an overarching pathology of the internet.
As for getting along here "better than I do"? I have received sympathy and apologies from others on here, and the mods only criticized me for fueling the fire- because they can see that what went on in that thread was despiccable (yes, on my end as well. But what you have me do when I am fighting 20 people?). Every single aspect of my life people had access to was torn into (and I don't know why *I* or *anyone* would remain here when this is what people do with your personal info) all because I wanted my age demographic of men to contact me and inquired about what was happening.
So fuck that.
quote:
.do you really think there would've been 17 pages of insults in that thread if you hadn't been reading and responding? If you hadn't read the insults, would you be hurt or enraged? This drama was avoidable. I can certainly understand, emotionally, why you chose to stay and bicker. But I also think you need to take responsibility, intellectually, for needlessly exposing yourself to harm. I just now read the first two pages of the thread and agree that the initial shots would seem out of left-field to you. But this wasn't some beat-down in an alley where you couldn't walk away. If you're going to stay on the field of battle, you should be prepared to fight.
This argument is the same that the mods have used. You are right! Basically, predators are here. Its your choice to leave the dangerous area, or stay and fight them. Totally! It can be a bit compulsive though, when people are so vicious, and it enrages you to the point that you feel the need to fight and take them down because they *are* bad people, sadists. Ultimately it was my fault for staying and making kindling for the fire.
The rest of what you wrote I don't have the time to read...but I don't agree with what I skimmed. (NO, I *do* believe you were using sophistry!) I feel that basically, the major issue I have with the board and the way people seem to act is that it does NOT translate from human interaction. It is something totally different. And very unhealthy. For everyone. IMO.
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