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RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:32:11 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

because i care about Him and i enjoy being His slave and serving Him, but the only way i can truly leave is if He releases me He said. so since He hasnt released me, i dont think that He is officially done.. 






Bullshit.
 
No one ever needs to be officially released. Myth, bullshit, crap.
 
Stop listening to people who have said you haven't been a proper slave.
 
Just leave. Stop admiring an image and face the reality.


Quoted for the honest truth.  OP....the only one making you stay in a bad situation is you.  Your choice.


but if He doesnt release me.. isnt He still my Master in some way..?



Only if YOU choose to allow it.  Your choice.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:32:37 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		No.... I really have to go now

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:34:14 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Katt, here's the thing. At least my opinion.

If a person is going to get involved in a TPE as the person with the power, they need to be pretty emotionally and mentally balanced. I am not saying that a person with some time of problems cannot be a good M-type, but I am saying that they need to be in control of it. From what you have posted, this guy isn't and his lack of personal control is causing you stress and ultimately, going to destroy the relationship.

He needs to be in control of himself before he should expect you to give him control over you. Otherwise, it's like you jumping into the back seat of a speeding car, with a brick on the gas pedal and no driver. Sooner or later the car is going to crash and you are going to get hurt.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:35:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt






Bullshit.
 
No one ever needs to be officially released. Myth, bullshit, crap.
 
Stop listening to people who have said you haven't been a proper slave.
 
Just leave. Stop admiring an image and face the reality.


Quoted for the honest truth.  OP....the only one making you stay in a bad situation is you.  Your choice.


but if He doesnt release me.. isnt He still my Master in some way..?



Read the above again.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:40:26 AM   
ownedkatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline 		thank you all.. i really appreciate your thoughts and ideas. i guess ill really just have to sit down and truly think about what i want and whats best for my well being.. 

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:40:55 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

because i care about Him and i enjoy being His slave and serving Him, but the only way i can truly leave is if He releases me He said. so since He hasnt released me, i dont think that He is officially done.. 






Bullshit.
 
No one ever needs to be officially released. Myth, bullshit, crap.
 
Stop listening to people who have said you haven't been a proper slave.
 
Just leave. Stop admiring an image and face the reality.


Quoted for the honest truth.  OP....the only one making you stay in a bad situation is you.  Your choice.


but if He doesnt release me.. isnt He still my Master in some way..?



Where did you get this? The Little Book of True Submission?
 
Sure, let him be 'Master'. Just be a thousand miles away.
 
As for who you listen to, well I don't get the impression he is giving out much besides mixed messages.
 
Best person to listen to is yourself. You wouldn't be here if in your heart you didnt think it would be fruitless to stay.

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:45:33 AM   
ownedkatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

 
Best person to listen to is yourself. You wouldn't be here if in your heart you didnt think it would be fruitless to stay.


this is extremely true..

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:47:56 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		No, it is not extremely true. People stay for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with whether they think it will work out.
There are 3 people in that relationship, you are only one of them. Can you really see doing this for months on end?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

 
Best person to listen to is yourself. You wouldn't be here if in your heart you didnt think it would be fruitless to stay.


this is extremely true..



(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:52:19 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		If your best friend came to you with all the information you've shared in this post, what would you say to her?

Maybe its the lack of information, but from what I've read here -- its time for you to move on.  If nothing else, he doesn't sound like a good choice to begin with so cut your losses now.

Did I miss it or did you say -- online?  offline... a combination of both?  what type of relationship is this?



_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 9:52:37 AM   
ownedkatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

No, it is not extremely true. People stay for all kinds of reasons that have nothing to do with whether they think it will work out.
There are 3 people in that relationship, you are only one of them. Can you really see doing this for months on end?

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

 
Best person to listen to is yourself. You wouldn't be here if in your heart you didnt think it would be fruitless to stay.


this is extremely true..





no, but i keep hoping it will change back to the way it used to be, which, yes i know sounds like a bad romance movie

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:01:15 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds like you already know what you need to do. You just have to admit it to yourself, grieve what you've lost, and move on.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:06:27 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

im not sure what happened..


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

we got in a huge fight a few weeks ago, and i told Him to release me 3 different times.

That seems to be a pretty clear indication of "what happened".

He appears to be confused, having to handle having a sub who has asked for release (which is where his passive aggressive reactions come in) but not wanting to actually let go of the relationship.

Lots of people, even D-types, aren't too capable of making the most appropriate decision when that decision involves ending the relationship. Now faced with either a) no relationship, or b) a relationship with a sub who has wanted to leave, there is little room for contentment and it shows in how he's taking it out on you.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:06:31 AM   
ownedkatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Madame4a

If your best friend came to you with all the information you've shared in this post, what would you say to her?

Maybe its the lack of information, but from what I've read here -- its time for you to move on.  If nothing else, he doesn't sound like a good choice to begin with so cut your losses now.

Did I miss it or did you say -- online?  offline... a combination of both?  what type of relationship is this?




if it were someone else, i would say give up. but i hate giving up...

i never said. its not a 24/7 live in, its a combo of online/offline

(in reply to Madame4a)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:07:42 AM   
ownedkatt


Posts: 20
Joined: 2/18/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

im not sure what happened..


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

we got in a huge fight a few weeks ago, and i told Him to release me 3 different times.

That seems to be a pretty clear indication of "what happened".

He appears to be confused, having to handle having a sub who has asked for release (which is where his passive aggressive reactions come in) but not wanting to actually let go of the relationship.

Lots of people, even D-types, aren't too capable of making the most appropriate decision when that decision involves ending the relationship. Now faced with either a) no relationship, or b) a relationship with a sub who has wanted to leave, there is little room for contentment and it shows in how he's taking it out on you.



He had 2 other slaves and a girlfriend before. im not sure why the gf left Him, but one slave decided she wanted a vanilla relationship, and then the other just got sick of Him

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:07:49 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I wouldn't for a moment call it giving up.  I would actually call it taking care of yourself as clearly the other party is not.

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:08:24 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sakone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt
'Just go away then. Stay in your little hell. Stay far away from Me.'



If a man said that to me, regardless of the power dynamic in the relationship, I'd take him at his word and get the fuck out. This is one of those "guys aren't that complicated" moments. If he's telling you to stay far away from him, stay the fuck far away from him and assume he isn't going to change his mind. It doesn't matter how he got to that place, but once he's communicated to you that he's in that place you're basically engaging in hand-to-buzzsaw combat if you continue relating to the guy.

\

What makes you say that?


Life experience. Healthy people don't say things like that unless they mean it. If he's healthy, he means it, you should take him at this word. If he's unhealthy and doesn't mean it, why the hell would you want to be involved in a Master/slave relationship with a Master who is dishonest and misleading in his commands? You can't win.

quote:

I have met a couple that the Domme has told this to her sub, and never left. Maybe her leaving like you said would make that buzzsaw combat actually happen.


Not unless he is an openly abusive person. He says "go away." She goes away. If he then approaches her in a combative mode, guess what... she was right to walk away. This isn't rocket science, as difficult as it may be to pull off emotionally it isn't that hard to figure out logically.

quote:

My advice ask him how to better serve him. He more then likely explained it but a refreasher shouldn't hurt to much.



I'm going to stand by "your advice is bad." What if he has explained it to her a million times and is tired of her failure to comprehend and follow his direction? Maybe this is why he's telling her to go away? I don't see the appeal of being in a Master/slave relationship with an individual who rewards you for doing the opposite of what he requested (ask more questions instead of going away.) Again, you can't win. Either he's sincere in his rejection, or he's fucking with her head. Either way... the answer is: walk away.

On a side note... laughing at myself that the OP's obliviousness combined with her "you guys are right!" just makes me think the poster is a troll.

(in reply to Sakone)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:09:32 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

no, but i keep hoping it will change back to the way it used to be, which, yes i know sounds like a bad romance movie

Under most circumstances, the euphoria that new relationships begin with is the misleading part. Novelty makes any new relationship seem at least partially glorious. What you are getting now is the underlying structure of what constitutes your relationship without the newness to make it seem prettier.

You can as much "get it back" as you can your virginity.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:18:12 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorenzo19

"you dont act like his slave". that's simple. He has probably already explained to you the probllem. Were you listening? Ask him how you could be a better slave to Him. That's pretty obvious.

The common theme? No. Just ask him.


Another example of crapalicious advice.
Perfect.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to Lorenzo19)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:19:43 AM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedkatt

my Master and i have been together for a little over 6 months now....

for the last few months we havent been talking as much and when we do, He always seems to get annoyed over the smallest things. for instance, i asked Him a question last night about going on a trip with Him and he changed the subject. so i asked Him again today and he started yelling about how i didnt act like His slave and how he just wants me away from Him.


you say you are together since just about 6 months but then that it doesn't go well since the last few months...

so how many weeks or months did it actually work then?



_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to ownedkatt)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: in need of an opinion please.. - 2/18/2010 10:25:43 AM   
OriginallyFromLA


Posts: 87
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

but if He doesnt release me.. isnt He still my Master in some way..?


See, this is exactly the kind of behavior that confuses me and  makes me ask if there is some kind of secret rule book out there floating around.

My answer is Ya, in the Dungeon's and Dragon's version he still owns you, but if you roll a 17, you're free.

_____________________________

We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well, and live.-Quintas Arius

Love IS pain, Highness. Anyone that says different is selling something.-Dread Pirate Roberts

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 40
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