RE: separation pains.... normal?

RE: separation pains.... normal? (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:00:46 PM)
I think it's the red hair. It makes me easier to see. [:D]

Valyraen -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:01:35 PM)
I've always said it was your warning sign, sweetheart, and I stand by that even now.

AquaticSub -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:02:19 PM)
LOL I'll never forget the first time I came home with it this color. I walked in and you just went "Holy crap... it's... red!". [:)]

juliaoceania -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:04:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub LOL I'll never forget the first time I came home with it this color. I walked in and you just went "Holy crap... it's... red!". [:)] I expressed the desire to go red recently, Sinergy knows some hair people in West Hollywood because I want the best dying my nearly ass length hair.... and even at that I am afraid to do it. Sinergy doesn't think I would look good as a red head even though some people think my hair is already that color....

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:05:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub I think it's the red hair. It makes me easier to see. [:D] As does the green skin [:D]

AquaticSub -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:08:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub LOL I'll never forget the first time I came home with it this color. I walked in and you just went "Holy crap... it's... red!". [:)] I expressed the desire to go red recently, Sinergy knows some hair people in West Hollywood because I want the best dying my nearly ass length hair.... and even at that I am afraid to do it. Sinergy doesn't think I would look good as a red head even though some people think my hair is already that color.... We were concerned too actually because the shade I wear is not one found naturally. It's very comic book red. But we went to a guy we really trust, I showed him a picture of the look I was going for and we picked out a color together. It helps that I've been going to this guy since I first moved to the area when I was 18 so he really has a good bead on my personality. So he has a pretty good of what I can pull off and what I can't. If you can find that... give it a shot. The worst thing that happens is you dye it back to your natural hair color after giving it a few weeks. quote: As does the green skin [:D] Mmm quite true. Maybe I should put a bullseye somewhere. You know I've actually wanted to henna bullseyes on my ass cheeks before going to a play party. [:D]

tnpainslut -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:18:06 PM)
Yes I see that now AS... Perhaps it would have been more pleasing to some if I'd left out the part about him being married. But that wouldn't have been honest and would have seemed more like an attention grab than anything. There is no vanilla in this mans life. His wife is far more tame than I but then she is also twice my age. And I can see where you all are coming from. No he doesn't want to get caught. I said that myself. But saying that he doesn't care what's best for me requires more background. His wife knows about me. It isn't a matter of getting caught anymore. It's a matter of not allowing physical evidence to surface. He did that on his own. He made a choice and took a big risk and chose me. He drove 900 miles to come get when my car broke down in an ice storm. He told her where he was going and why. His wife knows what I am to him and has for a while now. The reason I said secrecy was about to be an issue is I'm moving into the same building as a coworker. That would provide her the witness and evidence she needs. That cannot happen for is youngest daughters sake. She needs her daddy to be there while she finishes college. Then it's divorce time.

xxblushesxx -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:23:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tnpainslut Yes I see that now AS... Perhaps it would have been more pleasing to some if I'd left out the part about him being married. But that wouldn't have been honest and would have seemed more like an attention grab than anything. There is no vanilla in this mans life. His wife is far more tame than I but then she is also twice my age. And I can see where you all are coming from. No he doesn't want to get caught. I said that myself. But saying that he doesn't care what's best for me requires more background. His wife knows about me. It isn't a matter of getting caught anymore. It's a matter of not allowing physical evidence to surface. He did that on his own. He made a choice and took a big risk and chose me. He drove 900 miles to come get when my car broke down in an ice storm. He told her where he was going and why. His wife knows what I am to him and has for a while now. The reason I said secrecy was about to be an issue is I'm moving into the same building as a coworker. That would provide her the witness and evidence she needs. That cannot happen for is youngest daughters sake. She needs her daddy to be there while she finishes college. Then it's divorce time. What a little charmer you are.[8\|] Your post doesn't make sense though... These days you don't need evidence or witnesses to get a divorce. He already admitted to her that he is cheating right? Oh, and staying together for the childrens' sake? That's something MANY cheating men tell their f*** buddies, to keep them hoping for a future.

AquaticSub -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:25:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tnpainslut Yes I see that now AS... Perhaps it would have been more pleasing to some if I'd left out the part about him being married. But that wouldn't have been honest and would have seemed more like an attention grab than anything. shrugs Maybe. I, personally, tend to agree with them. But I don't really think it matters. The relationship is ending and regardless of if you should have seen it coming or not, it sucks and hurts. Any discussion regarding the morality or inevitability of the break-up is moot. Hence why my "bitchy" ([;)]) post was focused on your feelings and how they are normal in all break-ups.

silverosepetals -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:29:53 PM)
you must have felt something towards him, even if it wasnt a real bf/gf relationship...you dont just serve someone b/c you like to serve (at least i dont)...you must feel drawn to them or respect them, care about them, love them? something? i dont really understand the whole having a Dom but they arent your significant other thing...my Doms have always been my bf's or gf... anyway, to answer your question, yes...i think it totally normal to feel lost without him and betrayed and alone and even if you werent in a relationship of the traditional sort, spending time with someone and being close to someone like that, showing him parts of your inner being, expressing your true desires that you never revealed to anyone before him, im suprised you arent more upset...he is the one who discovered you, the first one you submitted to, but he wont be your last...i wish you luck...

tnpainslut -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:33:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx quote: ORIGINAL: tnpainslut Yes I see that now AS... Perhaps it would have been more pleasing to some if I'd left out the part about him being married. But that wouldn't have been honest and would have seemed more like an attention grab than anything. There is no vanilla in this mans life. His wife is far more tame than I but then she is also twice my age. And I can see where you all are coming from. No he doesn't want to get caught. I said that myself. But saying that he doesn't care what's best for me requires more background. His wife knows about me. It isn't a matter of getting caught anymore. It's a matter of not allowing physical evidence to surface. He did that on his own. He made a choice and took a big risk and chose me. He drove 900 miles to come get when my car broke down in an ice storm. He told her where he was going and why. His wife knows what I am to him and has for a while now. The reason I said secrecy was about to be an issue is I'm moving into the same building as a coworker. That would provide her the witness and evidence she needs. That cannot happen for is youngest daughters sake. She needs her daddy to be there while she finishes college. Then it's divorce time. What a little charmer you are.[8\|] Your post doesn't make sense though... These days you don't need evidence or witnesses to get a divorce. He already admitted to her that he is cheating right? Oh, and staying together for the childrens' sake? That's something MANY cheating men tell their f*** buddies, to keep them hoping for a future. Charmer? I have known him way longer than I knew anything about bdsm. It's always been the same story. "Fuck this bitch. Why did I marry her? As soon as __ is out of college I'm gone." She needs proof to benefit from a divorce. If you can't benefit why get one? She has it made. Not working and all right now. No sense in screwing that up.

xxblushesxx -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:34:23 PM)
No, you don't. You're wrong. ETA: Even if you did need proof (that is so 50's) she HAS it. He TOLD her, who you are and what you mean to him. That's proof.

tnpainslut -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 5:42:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: silverosepetals you must have felt something towards him, even if it wasnt a real bf/gf relationship...you dont just serve someone b/c you like to serve (at least i dont)...you must feel drawn to them or respect them, care about them, love them? something? i dont really understand the whole having a Dom but they arent your significant other thing...my Doms have always been my bf's or gf... anyway, to answer your question, yes...i think it totally normal to feel lost without him and betrayed and alone and even if you werent in a relationship of the traditional sort, spending time with someone and being close to someone like that, showing him parts of your inner being, expressing your true desires that you never revealed to anyone before him, im suprised you arent more upset...he is the one who discovered you, the first one you submitted to, but he wont be your last...i wish you luck... Thank you. I imagine I'm not more upset because I still get to see him all the time. It is most likely a respect issue. I respect this man greatly and what he does for a living just as much. I would have never considered a married man before him and I still turn down all the marrid ones that want vanilla encounters.

DesFIP -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 6:14:40 PM)
But not the married ones that want kinky sex? If his wife knows all about you and is cool with it, then why is he sneaking around? You can't get it both ways. And I'd bet money the daughter will graduate, marry, have kids and he'll still be married. Oh yeah, your six month fling is nothing compared to a vanilla who has been married for 50 years who loses their spouse to death.

juliaoceania -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 6:16:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But not the married ones that want kinky sex? If his wife knows all about you and is cool with it, then why is he sneaking around? You can't get it both ways. And I'd bet money the daughter will graduate, marry, have kids and he'll still be married. Oh yeah, your six month fling is nothing compared to a vanilla who has been married for 50 years who loses their spouse to death. I suppose I get annoyed at people who think that just because someone told them when to go to the bathroom and spanked their hiney that this somehow makes what they shared anymore important or more meaningful than what anyone else feels....

tnpainslut -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 6:32:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But not the married ones that want kinky sex? If his wife knows all about you and is cool with it, then why is he sneaking around? You can't get it both ways. And I'd bet money the daughter will graduate, marry, have kids and he'll still be married. Oh yeah, your six month fling is nothing compared to a vanilla who has been married for 50 years who loses their spouse to death. I suppose I get annoyed at people who think that just because someone told them when to go to the bathroom and spanked their hiney that this somehow makes what they shared anymore important or more meaningful than what anyone else feels.... I didn't say she was cool with it... She would love to kill me I'm sure. I wasn't trying to imply that what I had was more important or special than anyone elses relationship. And I clearly said that I don't feel it could be compared to a vanilla relationship. So yeah. Someone being married 50 years would be different.

Smutmonger -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 6:49:10 PM)
I've never invested myself into someone who was not with a clear title-which is why poly won't work for me. Emotional content from me requires a serious comitment.

AquaticSub -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 6:50:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tnpainslut I didn't say she was cool with it... She would love to kill me I'm sure. I wasn't trying to imply that what I had was more important or special than anyone elses relationship. And I clearly said that I don't feel it could be compared to a vanilla relationship. So yeah. Someone being married 50 years would be different. You misread my first post. I was comparing heartbreak to heartbreak. That is universal. Your heartbreak is no greater and not any different than someone whose vanilla relationship is ending. How long people doesn't matter a damn either. It's very possible to be in an extremely long-term relationship out of convenice and truly not care much when it ends. What matters is how much a person is invested in their relationship and how much they care about it.

LafayetteLady -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 7:17:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tnpainslut quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP But not the married ones that want kinky sex? If his wife knows all about you and is cool with it, then why is he sneaking around? You can't get it both ways. And I'd bet money the daughter will graduate, marry, have kids and he'll still be married. Oh yeah, your six month fling is nothing compared to a vanilla who has been married for 50 years who loses their spouse to death. I suppose I get annoyed at people who think that just because someone told them when to go to the bathroom and spanked their hiney that this somehow makes what they shared anymore important or more meaningful than what anyone else feels.... I didn't say she was cool with it... She would love to kill me I'm sure. I wasn't trying to imply that what I had was more important or special than anyone elses relationship. And I clearly said that I don't feel it could be compared to a vanilla relationship. So yeah. Someone being married 50 years would be different. Ok, so you admit that in a vanilla relationship the feelings would be more intense? Or less intense? The "excuse" (because that is all it really is) that a daughter needs "daddy" around while she finishes COLLEGE? Were you hired for you ability to discern the truth? I hope not. As for the concept that she needs "evidence" to "benefit" from the divorce...that's a load of bull. As someone who has specialized in family law for more than a decade, and that is a line of crap. But no matter what anyone says, you will continue to delude yourself that a man (probably old enough to be your father) is wonderful with a wife who is a bitch that he needs to stay married to for the sake of the kids and you really mean everything in the world to him. Did he also give you the line that he had never cheated on his wife before?

tnpainslut -> RE: separation pains.... normal? (2/19/2010 7:36:28 PM)
I'm 22, he is 36, she is 51. The daughter that needs him around while she is at college is 16 and already in college. She is a rarity in their family in that she is a very sensitive soul. She does need him. I'm not deluded. Legally. She needs nothing more than what he said but in this city you will not find a judge anywhere that would take her word against ours. There would not be a divorce granted on her terms. Period.

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